* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble  (Read 6856 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2010, 05:27:55 AM »

Adjusted as you have requested Sylvia, I trust that everything will be in order. With the coin that he has he should be able to get a meal, and the like with relative ease. I hope this addresses all of your concerns and thank you for the comments.
Logged

Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2010, 05:34:12 AM »

Pet First Approval! Pet     fish
Logged

"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
CD Mod
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 426


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2010, 06:04:32 AM »

I still believe you to be unbalanced. You are quite a formidable knight as well as a expert mounted rider. I don't think your weaknesses balance that out.

Your familiar should be included as a strength in addition to your riding skills.
Logged

Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2010, 01:47:18 PM »

I agree with Azhira. I would like to see a good additional solid weakness to help counter the strengths. Be creative :D
Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 356


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2010, 08:54:51 PM »

Perhaps mild strangling disease or something of that kind?
Logged

"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu

"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."  
 -Alexander the Great

Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2010, 09:55:55 PM »

Just bumping this up to make it easier to find. This CD should be finished soon once I add in the comments.
Logged

Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1376


Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran


« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2010, 02:53:52 AM »

PM me once you're finished. I'll go see about giving you a second approval, then.


Edit: Hmmmm... I'll have to leave that up to Kali and Malexia now, they're the ones who took issue with your S's and W's, so we're letting them decide upon titling you.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2010, 06:56:19 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.

Alexandre Scriabin CD
Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #22 on: December 25, 2010, 09:22:57 AM »

Alright peoples, I've finally added my fourth (and hopefully final) weakness in the hopes of creating a more balanced character. I look forward to hearing/reading any and all comments, questions, or concerns that you may or may not have. Thank you all once again for taking the time to actually read through this lengthy CD.
Logged

Covette
Guest
« Reply #23 on: December 25, 2010, 04:26:47 PM »

Hello Calron and welcome to Santharia! Your CD overall, was a wonderful read. The only point I noticed was this:
Quote
Stunning good looks, and noble blood...
The way you have this worded makes a great weakness, but 'stunning good looks' would be a strength also. I would think anyhow. That is definitely an aspect far beyond average and would grant him advantages in many circles.

Just my 2 Sans .... Hope the remainder of your writings are swift and your title comes with haste!

~Sincerely~ Covette
« Last Edit: December 25, 2010, 04:34:42 PM by Covette » Logged
Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #24 on: January 01, 2011, 10:12:12 AM »

Thank you for that particular point of interest Covette. I've added that into the Strength section and hopefully my CD is more balanced than it was before. I certainly hope so, and with that said I am once again ready for further comments.
Logged

Ridgen Sú'ufanán
Mindweaver
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 884


Random person ^^


Homepage
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2011, 04:05:45 AM »

Two quick things I noticed about your CD, Calron:

 - I'm sorry, but I believe your strengths still outweigh your weaknesses by a little bit more than is acceptable, although that's only my opinion.

 - Right, to the more important bit. Most mods prefer that your Familiar section have a History sub-section. For the others, it's okay, but it does help quite a bit if you do have a history section for your familiar. This is only a suggestion though.

That's all I saw there. Oh, and I think you misspelled 'interests' in the first weakness.
Logged

"Everything is a game - some people just don't realise that."
                                                                       - Ridgen Sú'ufanán
Sir Ruil Mallister
Valor Conquers
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 337


Human, Erpheronian


Homepage
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2011, 03:03:13 PM »

The sword is made of a sturdy steel blade, made specifically to cut through plate armours.
I hope I'm not overly picky, but this line really caught my attention.  No sword, short of some sinister magic, can defeat plate armor.  Swords only "defeated" plate by going around or underneath it.  So I would reassess this sword of his.  Perhaps it would be easier to just give him a typical Centoraurian Shortsword.
Logged

Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #27 on: January 31, 2011, 04:27:20 AM »

Thank you for your comments gentleman, but I would like to address some of your concerns here. If I'm out of line here, correction and clarification would be very much appreciated.

First, Ridgen's comments. I am a poor judge as to whether or not my character here is balanced, but I would still like to see what the mods have to say about it's current appearance. As for my familiars history, I do believe that I made some mention of how Cloud came into Calron's possession. Thank you once again for your comments, they are very much appreciated :).

Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.
Logged

Mathis Mallister
Righteous in Wrath
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 258


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #28 on: January 31, 2011, 06:57:34 AM »

Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.

It's certainly possible to cut through a piece of leather. Chain mail, not so much. A cut is exactly what chain mail protects against best. Either way, by saying "cutting through plate armor" that's not what you're describing. If you're talking about *aiming* for a weak point of chain mail or leather and piercing at that weak point - then say that, and we'll go from there.

I think you should also clarify what exactly you mean by a "rectangular blade", because any image that description puts in my head looks more like a cleaver than a precision piercing weapon - which is fine and dandy if you're cutting through plate, but that's not not even remotely realistic for a weapon so small.

Edit: I just noticed your character has a longsword as well. That's the weapon he would want to use to strike out at an enemy in plate armor.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2011, 09:19:00 AM by Mathis Mallister » Logged



take an eye for an eye, turn your heart into stone
this is all I have lived for, this is all I have known
Calron Moonsilver
Black Knight
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 41


Half-Elf, Centoraurian/ Aellenrhim


« Reply #29 on: January 31, 2011, 09:28:11 AM »

Alright gentlemen I think I have then addressed your comments and concerns. I certainly hope everything looks good now, and I eagerly await further comments from the people of the Board.
Logged

Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[July 23, 2019, 07:02:29 PM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:23 PM]

[August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

[June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

[April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

[April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

[April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

[March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]

[February 13, 2018, 12:19:59 PM]

[January 02, 2018, 02:30:49 AM]
Members
Total Members: 2837
Latest: beaker
Stats
Total Posts: 214554
Total Topics: 8049
Online Today: 48
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 5
Total: 5

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx