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Author Topic: Twn Arerwn~ Iferhm~ Undertaker  (Read 15061 times)
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Kalna Dal'isyrs
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« Reply #15 on: January 01, 1970, 09:00:00 AM »

Quote:
I just fear that it could be a precedence and others say, look, what she was allowed to do


You worry too much Talia. We haven't had any problems with Yarg and people wanting to do what he does. People honestly do not read other CDs usually. I don't think you need to be so worried about it. And, if someone tries, we can just as easily explain to them about the situation.


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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2006, 11:37:23 AM »

The CD survived the crash and was only brought out for revamping. The original CD is still in the archives for: War of the Fallen. The only major deviations from the original to this are .... The magic level was upped by a single level, with more restrictions mentioned on it. 2nd was the removal of an artifact that was completely unneeded.

Everything else done to the CD was basically rewriting as my original skills for penmanship were severly lacking. Yet all the context is in essence completely unchanged.

The Embertree is a gigantic tree in the Crystalwoods, not far from the present location of the Coorhem. The Iferhem lived in and tended this tree for many generations, until the tree toppled. This killed most of the Iferhem, tribe entry mentions 3/4 of them. This is the beginning of the Iferhem's slow decline into extinction and is the time they moved into the Coorhem's territory. The tree is considered taboo to the Coorhem and noone ventures there anylonger, but it is still there and readily observable. (This is what I gather from what is written in the Iferhem entry.)

Thank you for your input Talia, as they are the first comments I have received that were not a metaphysical discussion on magic.

I have only one question: "How many more months is this going to take?' The edits done to this CD are in general the exact same as was done with Yarg when he was returned to the forum. He remained here for a whole 3 days before being rearchived. I think I have around 3 months in this already, justifying what has been approved and what is thought to be true by Arti., Silfer, Rayne and myself in regards to Necromancy. I have near as much time and debate spent in this CD as most have in a masterwork.

Irregardless, what is here will either be approved in this writing as is or in the old CD just being rearchived, so I can return to RPing.

(`._he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath_.)

Edited by: Twen  Araerwen  at: 10/24/06 5:01
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Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2006, 06:06:23 PM »

Ok, I read some parts already now (without breakfast!) and I'm now here:

Nilcirion knew that such an act would of been sanctioned via the Coorhem, decided upon the only route of action he fathomed would keep his daughters alive. Hastily he gathered equipment, the monetary funds necessary and set his children on the path to Ximax. A long and arduous journey that took the trio near a year to accomplish even with a map and the coin to ease their course.


Nilcirion "knowing" ..... "would have been"? ???

Why, didn't Halatir only defend Twen? Or is this because they are "just" If'herim? Or was this guy the son of someone special?



------------

Finished reading! A great CD! I think you are quite a dangerous persons, despite your weaknesses - or because of them?

Just last question: Didn't you have swords which could be used with clerical skills or something like that?

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don
***The Santharian Dream*** ***Astropic of the day*

Edited by: Talia Sturmwind  at: 10/24/06 10:19
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Mina
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« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2006, 09:38:23 PM »

I'm not quite satisfied yet.  I think you probably need to make more changes to the wording.  More detailed comments below.  


Twen's ever-present fear of death has been reflected in her arcane studies. She has even begun to develop and study fire ounia to the point of finding new and intriguing manifestations of it. Just 'Fire' would be enough.  The elf has composed a few personalized incantations, but without a doubt more of these will come to pass. The mage has also been responsible for more than one Necromantic spell never witnessed before.

An interest in the undead has caused a rather noticeable influence in the Spell Class of Inflamement for the Necromancer. This influence constantly expands and will continue to do so if her mindset does not change over the coming centuries. This is evident as a skill level of 8 in many spells within the Spell Class of Inflamement (Mostly those of Necromantic origins). Making her amongst one of the finest spell casters in this area of study.  This is the part that is causing most of the problems.  Sphere 3 is usually taught after graduation, and in any case, your character, as I see it, didn't really learn the whole thing.  Correct me if I'm mistaken, but my intepretation from reading your CD seems to be that she was taught necromantic techniques and spells by her mentor in addition to normal Fire magic, but not the whole Inflamement class, which would be quite a feat.  These spells and techniques would likely fall under Sphere 3 (particularly Inflamement, as you mentioned), and might well have been considered to be such by the two, as they were both Ximaxian magi.  However, I think you should make it clearer that that is the extent of what she knows of Sphere 3.  Currently, it still sounds as if Twen is a master of Sphere 3, or at least Inflamement.

With such a focus with Inflamement many of the other Spell Classes within fire seem to be lagging for the mage. This has caused them to only be accessible at the 6th level of ability.  This is somewhat self-contradicting, and also contradicts what you said above: "She acquired this title from the orc mages of Ximax, literally meaning: The Cursed Female. They considered Twen to be cursed because of her magical lacking in many areas of fire."  Like I said, level 6 is hardly weak.  The fact that she has reached level 6 and graduated from Ximax shows that she is at least okay with the first two Spheres, though she might not have been the best at them.   Even those accessible to her at this level are mainly focused in the area of healing, as her fear of death drives her to remain alive at all costs (A common trait amongst Necromancers in their search to extend their lives).  The problem here is that even if they didn't actually learn the spell, understanding (and being powerful enough, but that should be the case if they're learning it anyway) the Sphere the spell belongs to is enough for them to be able to cast it.  Sure, they might not be very familiar with it, and thus might have some difficulty at first, but it is available nonetheless.  With Fire magic, this means that your char has quite a lot of rather destructive magic available for her to choose from, though I understand that she is might not be that inclined towards using them.    

With her continued use and desire to manipulate fire in its aspect of life or better said the illusions of life. These gaps amongst her spells will broaden and continue to do so throughout the elf's life. Revealing copious amounts of her fascination with death and her dread of it.


@Talia, that's her other char, IIRC.  


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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #19 on: October 25, 2006, 06:19:23 AM »

Quote:
Nilcirion "knowing" ..... "would have been"? ???
It would be highly unlikely that an open assassination of someone was done without someones ok. Nilcirion having lived his entire life around the Coorhem probably had little doubt that the attempt on his daughter life would end so peacefully. If your child were in danger and was in essence surrounded by it, would you not send them as far from it as possible?
Quote:
Why, didn't Halatir only defend Twen? Or is this because they are "just" If'herim? Or was this guy the son of someone special?
Halatir killed him because he already had a knife buried in Twen's back. Any other action may have just allowed the man to finish what he had started. He was sent to kill her because she was so weak at what they were being trained to do. The other students with her were being punished due to Twen's failures. The Coorhem are not well known for their polite addressing of problems.
Quote:
Just 'Fire' would be enough.
As my conversation on the workings of Necromancy in regards to this CD have been with yourself and Marv. I really had not considered light wording to be appropriate.
Quote:
This is the part that is causing most of the problems. Sphere 3 is usually taught after graduation, and in any case, your character, as I see it, didn't really learn the whole thing. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but my intepretation from reading your CD seems to be that she was taught necromantic techniques and spells by her mentor in addition to normal Fire magic, but not the whole Inflamement class, which would be quite a feat. These spells and techniques would likely fall under Sphere 3 (particularly Inflamement, as you mentioned), and might well have been considered to be such by the two, as they were both Ximaxian magi. However, I think you should make it clearer that that is the extent of what she knows of Sphere 3. Currently, it still sounds as if Twen is a master of Sphere 3, or at least Inflamement.
The paragraph you referenced for this clearly states she knows "many" spells in this sphere, not all or most. With a side note stating these spells are mainly of Necromantic origins. I am sorry but I am unsure of what it is you wish to see here Mina. A list of all the spells she knows?
Quote:
This is somewhat self-contradicting, and also contradicts what you said above: "She acquired this title from the orc mages of Ximax, literally meaning: The Cursed Female. They considered Twen to be cursed because of her magical lacking in many areas of fire." Like I said, level 6 is hardly weak. The fact that she has reached level 6 and graduated from Ximax shows that she is at least okay with the first two Spheres, though she might not have been the best at them.
When she left Ximax her understanding of all the other spheres was on par with the 5th skill level. Definately below par for a graduate of Ximax in many regards. Her present understanding of the other spheres is after graduation, hence the name was given before the time in question here.
Quote:
The problem here is that even if they didn't actually learn the spell, understanding (and being powerful enough, but that should be the case if they're learning it anyway) the Sphere the spell belongs to is enough for them to be able to cast it. Sure, they might not be very familiar with it, and thus might have some difficulty at first, but it is available nonetheless. With Fire magic, this means that your char has quite a lot of rather destructive magic available for her to choose from, though I understand that she is might not be that inclined towards using them.
This could easily be said for any fire mage graduate of Ximax. Without quoting examples and such, my inclination to RP this character to the stipulations I have written above has been strictly adhered to in the story I am in. Twen has never cast anything outside of Necromantic and healing aspects of fire in the entire time I played her. The only diversion from this was done when Darien puppeted her. Indeed other aspects of fire may be open to her, but this does not mean that all of these venues are not open to other mages of fire as well. Nor would I expect a story mod or myself to allow Twen to be RPed in this way as it is a direct variation from her personality and magical skills.

(`._he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath_.)

Edited by: Twen  Araerwen  at: 10/24/06 22:38
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The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Mina
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« Reply #20 on: October 25, 2006, 08:00:23 AM »

Quote:
I am sorry but I am unsure of what it is you wish to see here Mina.

I'm just hoping for it to be stated more clearly.  Like I said, what you have still makes it sound like she is a master of Sphere 3 (at least to me), even though that does not appear to be your intention.  

Quote:
This could easily be said for any fire mage graduate of Ximax. Without quoting examples and such, my inclination to RP this character to the stipulations I have written above has been strictly adhered to in the story I am in. Twen has never cast anything outside of Necromantic and healing aspects of fire in the entire time I played her. The only diversion from this was done when Darien puppeted her. Indeed other aspects of fire may be open to her, but this does not mean that all of these venues are not open to other mages of fire as well. Nor would I expect a story mod or myself to allow Twen to be RPed in this way as it is a direct variation from her personality and magical skills.

Yes, I am aware of this.  It's the sort of thing that has the potential to cause problems, but only with improper RPing.  I'm not sure that last bit makes it okay though.  Kali?  Talia?  


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Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2006, 07:04:23 PM »

"Nilcirion knew that such an act would of been sanctioned via the Coorhem, decided upon the only route of action he fathomed would keep his daughters alive."

The grammar of the first sentence looks strange to me, that is what I wanted to point out with my " ".
State it in your history, that the father sent away his daughter out of fear from another assassination, that was not entirely clear to me.
You misunderstood my other question. I asked, why Halatir should be afraid to stand to his kill, he only defended Twen, so it was kind of self defense. No need to run away as if he was guilty if he is not.

You explained in your answer, that probably this was not just the guy who tried to kill Twen , but that somebody else is backing him. Write this in your CD, then this part is clearer.

@Kalina
On the magic part - it should be really clear, what Twen is able to do and what not. For somebody with  Twen's writing skills this should not be a problem. Of course I trust her, that she would play her char properly, but why not eliminate or change problematic parts , especially as it is a very powerful CD. Finishing the last bits of this CD doesn't prevent her from roleplaying meanwhile.

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don
***The Santharian Dream*** ***Astropic of the day*

Edited by: Talia Sturmwind  at: 10/25/06 11:06
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Mina
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« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2006, 07:29:23 PM »

@Twen: Wow, the magic section's doubled in length.  It's looking pretty okay now, though it is a little on the powerful side.  But it's probably still balanced, not counting the potential for combat spells.  The necromancy details (mainly the amount of control she has over the minions) are rather iffy however, which is probably due to the fact that we haven't defined the relevant Fire properties very well yet.  Anyway, I don't think you need to remove them for now.  Something approximating it probably exists (we know the corpse-reanimating sort of necromancy exists in Santharia), even if the details end up being a little off.  

@Kali: My concern is with setting a precedent.  I don't think it's very likely Twen would mishandle this, but it might not be the case with other players.  Of course, we don't have many people here who can play magi this powerful anyway, but there's a possibility that a similar situation could arise with non-magi too, I think.  I just can't think of how yet.  


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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #23 on: November 03, 2006, 11:46:23 AM »

Well Mina the listing of what she can do is nearly a direct quote from the spells written for Necromancy. With a flare of Twenism so it doesn't read like an entry proposal. :)

Talia I edited the history you questioned. It is the last three paragraphs of the 1460B.S. section. I am sorry if the feelings of Halatir were left a bit vague. Yet he is someone elses character and I am uncertain of writing what his character thought or felt during these events.

(`._he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath_.)

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Mina
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« Reply #24 on: November 08, 2006, 09:46:23 PM »

Yep, I'm fine with the magic, except for the precedent issue.  *pokes Kali*


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Mina
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« Reply #25 on: November 10, 2006, 12:34:23 AM »

Work on a case-by-case basis?  Well that could work.  I'm not sure.  And how we judge them in a way that could not lead to suspicion of favourtism?  You know, perhaps we should take this into the CD discussion forum.  

In any case, if we set rules so that others (not necessarily everyone though) can create such chars, who are potentially overpowered but will not be so if played correctly, can we trust that all the story mods will be able to ensure that they are properly played?  I know that's what story mods are supposed to do anyway, but this has rather more potential to disrupt things than most issues, I think, and could also be a little hard to spot if no explicitly stated, and maybe even then.  


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Mina
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« Reply #26 on: November 10, 2006, 02:12:23 AM »

Yes, I know.  I'd still prefer to have rules and regulations for this though.  Anyway, it seems no one has any objections to letting Twen's char have those powers, so we could get around to seeing if the CD is ready for approval.  I'll start a thread concerning possible rules and regulations for such chars in the CD Discussion forum.  


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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #27 on: August 24, 2008, 09:58:20 AM »

~Brought up for minor Edits~
Changes so far:
1) Got rid of the weird Alt Coding.
2) Put titles to the Strengths and Weaknesses.
3) Some beautification.
4) New Portrait and Av.
5) A complete revamp of the appearance section.
6) Readjusted history about Fizzle so he wasn't really really old. Like on the last of his nine lives. xD
7) Some tweaks to the personality so it fits the weaknesses and strengths a bit more accurately.
8) Updates in the familiars section, hopefully to Garret's standards.

Finished, anyone wish to look this over before returning it to the archives?
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Garret Arroway
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« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2008, 10:36:53 AM »

Looks good to me :)
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #29 on: August 24, 2008, 11:18:41 AM »

Throw her back down, Twennie. Your revisions are very nice and appropriate, me thinks.  Thumb up Thumb up
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