Emrah Lark / Helcrani / Card Sharp and Thief

[Emrah Lark]

Name: Emrah Lark
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Race: Human
Tribe: Helcrani
Occupation: Card Sharp and Thief
Title: Swell Rogue on the Road
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 8 Nailsbreadths
Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs
Main Hand: Left

Appearance.

He is a man of an under-average height and slender build which can be considered somewhat effeminate by some. It is apparent at the first sight that he is very lithe, swift and even quite muscular but definitely subtler and more fragile than most men who could be marked as criminals.

He has chin-long dark brown hair and a so-called door knocker beard. In his face, there are a couple of soft scars which don't make him look hideous or macabre but show that his life hasn't been easy at all. He has angled eyebrows, big and round dark brown eyes, an aquiline nose, thin lips and a pointed chin.

Emrah has a number of tattoos. On his left forearm, there is a barque. It has no significant meaning for him. He simply considered it an extraordinarily beautiful picture and therefore decided to have it on his body. On his chest, there is a big Tear Frost flower with the same story behind it. But the red circle on Emrah's right wrist is a symbol of Foiros, the God of the Sun. The last tattoo is situated on Emrah's right shoulder blade. It's a picture of a flying lark which is an allusion to Emrah's full name. He also uses a simplified version of this image as a signature when needed, though it's rare.

He usually wears a close-fitting white shirt, a short black leather jacket and a karikrimson scarf around his neck. His black and red chequered trousers are as fitting as the shirt and jacket, and are made of wool. Emrah wears dark brown field boots with soft soles. However, he also likes to change his appearance from time to time, be it for practical or unpractical reasons. Emrah considers himself very elegant and believes that clothing can tell a lot about people who wear it.

Personality.

Emrah's primary motivation in life is to enjoy life and have fun which makes him quite an adventurous person. He is a pessimist with inclinations towards melancholia but he rarely shows it. Instead, he talks a lot, laughs a lot and expresses his strong sense of humour which usually makes people find him a sympathetic man though it is often very sarcastic and ironic. He doesn't pretend that he's different than he really is - the melancholia is just hidden inside and sometimes, it makes itself visible.

Even though Emrah often seeks thrill and venture, he often changes his mind just because it would be 'too much work' to plunge into the thing. He is often too lazy to do anything else than just sitting in an inn and sipping wine. In such stages, it takes him a lot of power to stand up and do something.

In contact with others, he is a very controlled person. It is very rare to see him visibly annoyed or angry. He practically never loses his temper. There is almost always a smile on his face. The only difference is that it's sometimes more of a wry grin accompanied by poking fun at someone.

Emrah is a very open-minded and tolerant person. The sense of freedom of every individual is one of the core moral values for him. It also means that he despises all kinds of violence and oppression. This Emrah's belief applies to animals as well and therefore he refuses to eat meat of any sort.

Though he is quite a self-oriented man, he is not really selfish. He always tries to manifestate some altruism and empathy and he really means it. He feels that it is important to help others and to try make the world a better place. It constitutes quite a dilemma when confronted with the fact that he makes his living from stealing from people and cheating on them. Emrah is also sometimes driven sad by what he does. He always thinks about not really hurting anyone and he believes that stealing from wealthy people isn't such a bad thing after all.

On the one hand, Emrah is very entertaining and charming but on the other one, he's very closed and evasive when it comes to his own person and personal history. When he's very drunk, however, he enjoys talking about such things and mainly about how miserable his life really is - according to him, at such moments of depression.

He doesn't really care about cultural norms and conventions and therefore, some people could find him even somewhat exotic, be it from the way he dresses or behaves sometimes.

Emrah is a romantic. He believes in real and deep love and it is also a thing he tends to seek in his life. But at the same time, he occasionally spends time with prostitutes and ladies he doesn't even hope to see again. According to him, it's unavoidable due to his life on the road but there is still the ideal.

He is quite certain about gods - and specifically the Twelve Gods - playing an important role in the world. He personally chooses to worship Foiros as the sun is very crucial for him, sometimes virtually physically. Emrah doesn't affiliate religiously with others and his faith is very modest and discreet.

Emrah enjoys music of all sorts and pays a great respect to anyone that has skills in singing, playing an instrument or dancing. Emrah himself loves to whistle, hum and sing, though he's not really skilled at it and is usually slightly out of tune. When confronted with other arts, especially paintings and sculptures, he is usually very amazed. Though he has virtually no knowledge of art from historical or theoretical point of view, it fascinates him.

He loves drinking (sort of too much) and good food, especially cheese of various kinds. Playing cards is not only something he is good at but also an activity he enjoys a lot, especially because of the thrill which doesn't involve too much of physical energy. As results from what was already said, he has a great respect and love for animals and he sees them as equals. It means he also talks to them and expects them to understand everything. He also believes that there are animal languages which are as complex as Tharian or Styrásh, though people can't comprehend them.

Strengths.

Persuasion: Thanks to the way he talks, Emrah can quite easily convince the other person that a lie he tells is the truth. However, this skills is not magical, therefore he can't make anyone believe an obvious lie. Also, this skill doesn't apply for public speeches or manipulating crowd.

Carouse: Emrah can handle himself in a social environment, can mingle effectively and gain informations. It applies more to lower-class environments.

Card Sharp: Extraordinarily skilled at card games, Emrah can not only play well but also knows how to cheat in them and also how to notice when others cheat. Sometimes, when he plays primarily for money, he seeks to take advantage of less skilled players. When he uses tricks and various cheating methods, it's usually not so much because of the money but more because of the thrill and feeling of something like combat. The methods he knows and uses vary from appearing to shuffle the deck and leaving the cards in the same order to putting desired cards in position to be dealt or hiding cards in his hand. However, he also enjoys to play honestly and use only the skills that are legitimate in context of the game.

Horsemanship: Knows how to ride a horse without falling. This skill is increased by his relationship with his horse, Rowen, as they know each other. Therefore, he probably wouldn't ride a different horse that well.

Lock Picking: With the tools he usually has with himself, he can open simple locked doors and chests. He's definitely not a master, though - he can't open, for example, important and well-locked chests in royal palaces and so on.

Agile Fighting: Emrah doesn't hit hard in combat. Instead, he knows how to dodge the attacks, to hit quickly and to make the best of objects around him (for example chairs). He considers his method of fighting very elegant. As it involves lot of unexpected moves and steps, it also distracts the foe which is another great advantage.

Sneak: Emrah also knows the art of moving in shadows and beside the walls, hiding behind doors and creeping in rooms without being spotted. He can easily trick an untrained person or an average guard but when opposing someone who really knows how to detect a person, he'll be probably found out.

Weaknesses.

Non-Violent: Emrah tries to avoid to hurt, let alone kill, other people. It is a great disadvantage for a criminal as it makes many simple situations much more difficult. Even in combat, he prefers to disable the foe and avoids killing, if possible.

Vegetarian: Being a vegetarian constitues a great disadvantage in many situations. When traveling, the easiest way to get some food is often hunting. When in an inn, the only food one can get is sometimes some kind of meat. Emrah would never consciously eat meat as is apparent from his attitude towards animals. However, he doesn't impose his beliefs on others and respects people who eat meat. On the other hand, he gets slightly annoyed when someone considers vegetarian food inferior to meaty one.

Profession: The ways Emrah uses to make money are very risky as he can be caught by guards and also betrayed by people who he works with (or for). It also makes him live in constant fear which often doesn't make itself felt strongly but still can be problematic.

Erratic: Though Emrah is fun to talk to, he may seem overly eccentric, bizarre or weird to some people - not only from the way he looks like but also from the way he speaks, his beliefs and jokes he tends to make.

Alcoholic: Because of his despair and pessimism, Emrah started to drink alcohol quite excessively. The reasons Emrah has for drinking make him overly sensitive and maudlin when he's drunk. When he spends some time without drinking, he gets upset and eventually also really physically sick.

Lazy: Emrah is relatively resistant to work and exertion. He is disposed to idleness and enjoys it.

History.

Emrah was born in Milkengrad to a very poor family. As the father died three months before his youngest son's birth, Emrah lived with his mother and six siblings. Because of the bad situation of the family, the children had to beg in the streets and they also stole from the people. Emrah began to take part in all this when he was five years old.

When he was eleven years old, the mother died. Older siblings cared about Emrah but he also had to contribute and be able to care for himself. At thirteen, he met an oldish Kyranian man somewhat ironically known as Byrbel the Wisdom who was a traveling card swindler and horse-stealer. Byrbel decided to take Emrah up. He became sort of a foster father for him as they traveled across the coast. Byrbel also taught Emrah many important gambling tricks. There were five years of traveling and frequent running away from places where they were caught cheating or stealing horses. During this time, Byrbel was no longer a nurser of Emrah - they worked as a team. Emrah's job usually was to distract the people, but still, he learned a lot.

After that time Byrbel decided that he wanted to settle down in Helcrah as he already felt too old to drift all the time, and Emrah agreed. However, their life didn't become more ordinary or comfortable. It turned out that Byrbel had contacts with members of a local thieves' guild. They actually quite respected him. When Josse, leader of the guild which actually consisted of only five people or so, saw how lithe and agile Emrah was, he decided to train him in lock picking. Josse was also the person who made Emrah his first tattoo - the red circle of the Burning God. Soon Emrah became a respected thief. He was also popular among the ladies, and for two years, he was indeed almost a celebrity in the half-world of Helcrah.

Byrbel, who considered Emrah his stepson, was very proud of him. And the roles, which were set in the beginning, reversed; now it was Emrah who took care of Byrbel as Byrbel's hands slowly began to shiver and he wasn't that good in cards anymore.

One day - or, better to say, one night - Emrah worked together with Mar, a younger brother of Josse. When leaving the house, they were spotted by a guard. Mar killed the guard during the fight. When other guards came running to catch Emrah and Mar, it was Emrah who managed to escape. Mar however told the guards during the interrogation that Emrah was the killer and he also told them where Emrah lived. In exchange for this information, Mar was released.

The guards entered the house where Emrah and Byrbel were living together and killed the old thief who, in panic and confusion, had tried to fight them. When Emrah came home, he didn't know what actually happened; who killed Byrbel, and what was he supposed to do. However, somehow he realised that he had to leave the town; that someone was after him - no matter who.

He took Rowen, a beautiful roan stallion whom Byrbel had even actually bought, and immediately left Helcrah to drift again, this time just on his own. Byrbel's death hurt him strongly and today, it's one of his most frequent topics when he gets drunk.

Familiars.

Rowen is a horse of unknown breed, lively and smart stallion with roan coat. He has a heavy head with a straight profile, a full forelock and small alert eyes as well as short, strong neck. He is deep chested with sloping shoulders, low withers, long back and low-set tail. His legs are short and strong and they have very hard hooves. He and Emrah have a relationship that could be easily described as friendly.

Possessions.

In saddlebags on Rowen:
a pack of Four Houses cards
a spoon
a couple of pieces of clothing for warm and cold weather
some money (usually not a lot)
a flask of wine
a flask of water
some rations

Tied to the saddle:
a tent
a rope

On Emrah's body:
lock picking tools
the dagger

Weapons.

When really needed, Emrah uses a steel dagger which is the only weapon he possesses.

[Ryvic Darkveil]

I'm not a mod, or even an approved character, but let's see if I can help out anyway. Spelling/grammar fixes and suggestions in yellow. General suggestions in orange.


Name: Emrah Lark
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Race: Human
Tribe: Helcrani
Occupation: Thief / Swindler / Rook
Title: Swell Rogue on the Road
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 8 Nailsbreadths
Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs

Appearance.

He's a man of an under-average height and slender builtbuild which can be considered effeminate in a way. He seems very lithe, and one can also tell it by the way he walks, but he is definitely not strong. He has chin-long dark brown hair and a circle beard. In his face, there isare a couple of scars which don't make him look hideous or macabre but show that his life hasn't been easy at all. He has angled eyebrows, big and round dark brown eyes, an aquiline nose, thin lips and a pointed chin.

Emrah has a number of tattoos: a barque on his left forearm, a Tear Frost flower on his chest, a red circle symbolisingsymbolizing the sun on his right wrist, and a lark (which symbolisessymbolizes his name) on his right shoulder blade.

Usually he wears a white shirt, a black leather jacket, karikrimson scarf around his neck, chequered wool pants and fields boots. However, he also likes to change his appearance by dressing differently.

I see quite a few typos/misspellings so far. Running it through a spell checker should help.

Personality.

Emrah is very friendly and open-minded. People usually quite enjoy talking to him even though his sense of humour is based on sarcasm and irony. He is more of a pessimist but doesn't show it too often, his extroversion and joking often hide his inner despair and solitude. Though being a criminal, he has quite strong moral values; a strong sense of every being's freedom, dislike of violence (be it physical or symbolical) towards the weak and a broad and hazy idea that everyone should try to make world a better place. His main motivation in life, though, is to have fun. He greatly enjoys all kinds of art.

Strengths.

Persuasion: Thanks to the way he talks, Emrah can quite easily convince the other person that a lie he tells is the truth. However, this skills is not magical, therefore he can't make anyone believe an obvious lie. Also, this skill doesn't apply for public speeches or manipulating crowd.

Carouse: Emrah can handle himself in a social environment, can mingle effectively and gain informations. It applies more to lower-class environments.

Gambling (cards): Skilled at card games, Emrah can not only play well but also knows how to cheat in them and how to notice when others cheat as well.

Horsemanship: Knows how to ride a horse without falling. This skill is increased by his relationship with his horse, Rowen, as they know each other. Therefore, he probably wouldn't ride a different horse that well.

Lock Picking: With the tools he usually has with himself, he can open simple locked doors and chests. He's definitely not a master, though - he can't open,it doesn't apply for example, to important and well-locked chests in royal palaces and so on.

Agile Fighting: Emrah doesn't hit hard in combat. Instead, he knows how to dogdedodge the attacks, to hit quickly and to make the best of objects around him (for example, chairs).

Weaknesses.

Non-violent: Emrah refuses to hurt, let alone kill, other people. It is a great disadvantage for a criminal as it makes many simple situations much more difficult.
Refuses? since he has fighting skills, you might consider a lighter word, like 'avoids'.

Profession: The ways Emrah uses to make money are very risky as he can be caught by guards butand also betrayed by people who he works with (or for). It also makes him live in constant fear which often doesn't make itself felt strongly but still can be problematic.

Erratic: Though Emrah is fun to talk to, he may seem overly eccentric, bizarre or weird to some people - not only from the way he looks like but also from the way he speaks, and sometimes even from his humour.

Frail: Emrah is physically weak and easily broken or damaged. This weakness is especially disadvantaging because of his trade.

Alcoholic: Because of his despair and pessimism, Emrah started to drink alcohol quite excessively. The reasons Emrah has for drinking make why Emrah drinks makes him overly sensitive and maudlin when he's drunk.

Soft-hearted: He has softness or tenderness of heart that can lead him into trouble, he is susceptible of pity. He cannot resist helping someone he sees in trouble, suffering or in need, and often doesn't think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.
That doesn't make sense, if he's a thief.


History.

Emrah was born in Milkengrad to a very poor family. As the father died three months before his youngest son's birth, Emrah lived with his mother and six siblings. Because of the bad situation of the family, the children had to beg in the streets and they also stealedstole from the people. Emrah began to take part in all this when he was five years old.

When he was eleven years old, the mother died. Older siblings cared about Emrah but he also had to contribute and be able to care offor himself. At thirteen, he met Thorgall, a rook and horse-stealer. Thorgall decided to take Emrah up. He became sort of a foster father for him as they travelledtraveled across the coast. Thorgall also taught Emrah many?all the important gambling tricks. ThisThere were five years of travelling and frequent running away from places where they were caught cheating or stealing horses. During this time, Thorgall was no longer a nurser of Emrah - they worked as a team. Emrah's job usually was to distract the people, but still, he learned a lot.

After that time Thorgall decided that he wanted to settle down in Helcrah as he already felt too old to drift all the time, and Emrah agreed. However, their life didn't become more ordinary or comfortable. It turned out that Thorgall had contacts towith members of a? the? local thieves' guild. They actually quite respected him. When Josse, leader of the guild which actually consisted of only five people or so, saw how lithe and agile Emrah was, he decided to train him in lock picking. Josse was also the person who made Emrah his first tattoo - the red circle. Soon Emrah became a respected thief - he was also popular among the ladies, and for two years, he was indeed almost a celebrity in the half-world of Helcrah.

Thorgall, who considered Emrah as his stepson, was very proud of him. And the roles which were set in the beginning, reversed:; now it was Emrah who took care of Thorgall as Thorgall's hands slowly began to shiver and he wasn't that good in cards anymore.

One day - or, better to say, one night - Emrah worked together with Mar, a younger brother of Josse. When leaving the house, they were spotted by thea guard. Mar killed the guard during the fight. When other guards came running to catch Emrah and Mar, it was Emrah who managed to escape. Mar however told the guards during the interrogation that Emrah was the killer and he also gave away totold them where Emrah lived. In exchange for this information, Mar was released.

The guards entered the house where Emrah and Thorgall were living together and killed the old manlthief who, in panic and confusion, had tried to fight them. When Emrah came home, he didn't know what actually happened,; who killed Thorgall, and what was he supposed to do. However, somehow he realisedrealized that he had to leave the town; that someone was after him, - no matter who.

He took Rowen, a beautiful roan stallion whom Thorgall evenhad? actually bought, and immediately left Helcrah to ramble again, on his own this time. Ramble on his own time? I think ramble is the wrong word.

Familiars.

Rowen is a horse of unknown breed, lively and smart stallion with roan coat. He has a heavy head with a straight profile, a full forelock and small alert eyes; short, strong neck, is deep chested with sloping shoulders, low withers, long back and low-set tail. <- You might want to work on punctuation and grammar for that sentence. His legs are short and strong and they have very hard hooves. He and Emrah have a relationship that could be easily described as friendly.

Possessions.

In Rowen's saddlebags there are usually:saddlebags on Rowen there usually are: You might try writing this as a list, for easier reading.
A pack of Four Houses cards,
A spoon,
A couple of pieces of clothing for bothboth for warm and cold weather,
Some money (usually not a lot),
A flask of wine,
A flask of water
Some rations.

Then he also carries a rope and a small tent. Where does he carry the tent? in the saddlebags, on his person, tied to the saddle? Emrah himself doesn't usually carry many things, with the exception of lock picking tools and thehis weapon.

Weapons.

The only weapon Emrah has is a steel dagger but he prefers not to use it.


I don't see anything that doesn't fit in my tiny knowledge of Caelereth. I hope you get approved soon!

[Emrah Lark]

Thanks a lot, I appreciate your notes, especially considering the language but also the others. 

[Leif Terskun]

Hate to pull you up on it, Ryvic, but symbolise is fine, and all the associated wordforms. Likewise realised.

I'm afraid I can't really comment deeply at the moment, Emrah, but looking good.

[Emrah Lark]

Updated!

[Ryvic Darkveil]

Hate to pull you up on it, Ryvic, but symbolise is fine, and all the associated wordforms. Likewise realised.

Oops. I still prefer z's, but I won't correct anyone.


Emrah:
Looking at your strengths and weaknesses, I see that Emrah is a persuasive, sociable card shark who can hold his own in a fight. However, he is also a drunk, lazy thief who avoids fighting at all costs and would break a bone at the snap of a finger.
Perhaps I'm reading it wrong, but it looks to me that his strengths are less than his weaknesses.
A couple seeming contradictions:

He can fight well, using his surroundings to his advantage - he won't fight and he's frail.

He's persuasive and can mingle in a crowd - he's eccentric and can seem weird.

I think you could strengthen his strengths, or add more; or weaken/remove some weaknesses. Also, you could try to fix the contradictions.


You did a good job with those edits, but there's still some I can see that I didn't catch before. Remember: the easier it is to read and understand your CD, the faster you get approved.

[Alýr (Rayne)]

As a note: RPG-side accepts both American and British spellings; Development-side only accepts British.

Content-wise, this CD looks flawless.  I don't necessarily see the strengths and weaknesses mentioned as contradictions, but rather shades of gray. Your strengths and weaknesses, as a whole, seem fine to me, though I agree that you have the option to up your strengths or remove a weakness, if you like--though you don't need to.

I would love if you might give a general read-through to make sure you've caught some of the grammatically-awkward phrasing (there are only a few places here and there, some of which were mentioned by Ryvic), but otherwise this looks good to me. You have my approval.

[Emrah Lark]

EDIT: I've deleted the 'Frail' weakness. I think I was overly afraid of writing a character that would be too powerful.

As for the contradictions, Ryvic, I don't see them really contradictory. He avoids fighting but when he has no other possibility, he's quite good at it. It makes sense to me. And he can mingle to a crowd, persuade others but at the same time, he may seem weird/bizarre. I know such people.   I agree that these qualities may conflict with each other but not that bad.

As for the language, I've done some minor changes right now. I'm not a native speaker so I knew this problem might emerge. But still, I'm afraid I didn't catch everything...

Thank you!

[Ryvic Darkveil]

He seems pretty well balanced now.

Regarding the contradictions, it just seemed that way from the way it was worded. If your English is a bit rough, that's understandable. The changes you made fixed it anyway.

I could read through again and give you advice on everything that's unclear, but then people reading your CD wouldn't see your writing style; they'd see mine.

[Emrah Lark]

Wow, thanks for the approval! 
As well as for the help, everyone.

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Titled and Archived. Congrats.

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Brought up like last night's supper.

[Emrah Lark]

I've coloured all my changes in yellow. However, I also want to make a short explanation of what I've changed.

Occupation: no real change, it just sounds better to me
Appearance: some more details included, notably explanations of what his tattoos mean
Personality: though it's completely different, I didn't change Emrah's personality a one bit - I included many more information and structured the text differently, though
Strengths and Weaknesses: I've added the strength of Sneak which I find quite important for him; also, I've turned his vegetarianism into a weakness as it tends to complicate his life
History: I've changed the name of his foster father, to be more Santharian.

I hope it's alright! 

[Malexia Vendu]

The changes look perfectly fine to me.

If another mod doesn't disagree in a day or two, I'll bump back down to archives.

[Tak]

Changes look fine to me as well.

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