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Author Topic: Ephale/Erpheronian-Maeverhim/Wind Mage  (Read 6556 times)
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Ephale
Welkin Weaver
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Gender: Male
Posts: 24


Erpheronian/Maeverhim


« on: October 06, 2012, 01:16:31 PM »

Name: Ephale
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Race: Maelf
Tribe: Erpheronian/Maeverhim
Occupation: Wind Mage
Title: Welkin Weaver
 

 
Appearance
Height: 1 ped, 2 fores, 2 palmspans, 7 nailsbreadths, and 1 grain
Weight: 1 Pygge, 6 Heb, and 4 Od
Hair Colour: Nor'sidian
Eye Colour: Sognastheen Green
   
Much to his mother's delight, Ephale takes strongly after his father. In him the Maeverhim's graceful features and singular colouring are united with the Erpheronian tendency toward lean, sinewy musculature and piercing looks.  Though aquiline his features do not possess the raptor like proportions common to his elven forebears.  Ephale's countenance is commonly set into a mask of deep concentration and scrutiny, a look that many find appealing when aided by the transfixing dark emerald hue of his eyes, and the noble lines of his brow.  As a highly visible sign of his nonhuman heritage he bears the talon-like black nails of his father's people, though he trims them down to a respectable length, and the long knife edged ears common amongst the elves.  Much to his chagrin as a youth he has thus far been unable to produce a beard.  He keeps the unruly locks of his hair a palmspan longer than shoulder length and loose, letting the wind blow them about freely.  Due to his hair's fineness he finds it nearly impossible to conceal his ears, and he has found that after a few months in the sun its tips have a tendency to bleach out to a silvery grey.  Since childhood he has carried a small star-like burn scar in the center of his right palm; more recently he acquired a thin scar about four nailsbreadths long at the base of his left deltoid.
   
Clothing
Typically Ephale wears a light shirt of cotton with short sleeves and a layered Y collar.  His travel shirts are a pale allia, and have accents at the throat and cuffs of a dark Santhran violet.  Over this he wears a caliginous robe generally in a shade of green bordering on black, with a light tracery of silver thread along the hem, cuffs, and collar.  While traveling he adds a long hooded wool cloak of a blended charcoal colour, low buckled boots of dark leather, and a custom made black leather belt.  Ephale's belt is of heavy Baneg hide dyed a plain nor'sidian, which he had made shortly after leaving Ximax to provide easy access to his reagents; along the belt's length are a number of small steel bolts onto which he ties pouches or prepared bundles, and near the front of the belt are a series of five loops designed to anchor one vial each.  Ever since his first few weeks in the Sharadon he has insisted on wearing light, laced breeches of barsa dusk leather beneath his robes.  As something of an affectation from his time there, he usually loops a long cord of allia silk above his left bicep over his sleeve, allowing plenty of slack so that the ends can dangle and twist in the slightest breeze.  He does not wear much in the way of jewelry excepting three polished silver rings pierced through the edge of his right ear.
 
Personality
With his earliest memories being of enrapturing streams of mage-borne light, Ephale's aspirations always led toward study at Ximax.  Studious, inquisitive, and intelligent he loves the careful balances and limitless complexity of Ximaxian magic.  Its use seems to satisfy some ineffable need, and his hunger to know more is a constant ache.  More than money or fame it is this need to understand that drives him onwards.
 
Alienated from human children by his slowed aging and unusual heritage Ephale spent much of his youth alone.  As such he never truly became comfortable with other people, and his time at the Academy only exacerbated the problem, for he focused upon his studies to the exclusion of all else.  Now an adult he is discomfited by the attention of large groups and finds it difficult to place much trust in others.  To counter this he has a tendency to retreat behind an outward seeming of complete politeness and unconcern when confronted or set upon in social scenarios.  Though he has very few social skills, (or perhaps because of this) he is somewhat vain, maintaining the state of his clothes and hair as best he can while traveling.  He has not yet become accustomed to deception, and is generally an honest person, if only because it rarely occurs to him to lie.  
 
With his mother's passing Ephale found it impossible to focus at Ximax and has chosen to place himself on 'extended sabbatical.'  Unfortunately his first taste of the road has awoken a previously untouched wanderlust, and he finds himself taking every opportunity to extend his trek.  Thus far he has managed to rationalize the lost time, convincing himself that his adventures are constantly forcing him to use and expand his skills, and that he will return to Ximax with new vigor, eventually.   Having never met his father he originally journeyed to the Sharadon in hopes of finding him, but discovered that he had left the forest many years before.  He still wishes to meet his lost parent, but knowing nothing about Thyrón's destination or intent when leaving the Sharadon he has little hope of ever locating him.
 
Strengths
-Educated-Formally trained at the Academy of Ximax, Ephale is literate and proficient in a small number of scholarly disciplines. Long hours in the House of Tomes have provided him with a considerable degree of knowledge on topics ranging from alchemy to the application of medicinal herbs, and though not yet fluent or well versed he has some skill with the written and spoken forms of Styrásh.
-Focus-Ephale is capable of concentrating upon a task with exceptional diligence.  This allows him to ignore distractions and maintain complex visualizations under duress, but he has been known to lose track of his surroundings when so engaged.  During his training at the Academy of Ximax Ephale made great use of this talent, concentrating fully on the tasks set to him with the result that he could sustain changes he made to the Cár’áll without straining.
-Wind Magic-As a third level wind mage Ephale is well versed in first sphere magic. Formidably talented in his chosen discipline Ephale has of late, found himself relying heavily on the physical aspects of his skills, though he has not yet allowed his aptitude with spiritual manipulations to wane.
-Striking Looks-Though he finds it more of an annoyance than anything else many consider Ephale attractive, and regardless of their tastes, he is quite memorable. His alluring form has on occasion allowed him to lull others into performing small favors, whether that is the occasional scrap of companionship, access to the library after hours, or just being left in peace.
-Aylán-Ephale's companion and friend, Aylán is a tricky little raven that delights in hiding his masters things as well as whistling loudly on any morning he happens to be up first.  Brave and quite convinced that Ephale is his family Aylán has been known to drop small objects on people that harass his keeper, or upon Ephale if he doesn't get enough attention.  A distinct annoyance, Ephale still wouldn't part with him for anything.
 
Weaknesses
-Fixation-Though helpful in certain situations Ephale's ability to concentrate single-mindedly on a given task can blind him to his surroundings.  When lost in his magic, or engaged in some other activity that demands his attention, events that transpire around him are likely to go unnoticed.  This can make it difficult for allies to gain his attention in a tense moment, and leaves him vulnerable to his adversaries.  At the Academy his obsessive nature often caused him to spend untold hours engrossed in the library tower, only to surface much later and discover the entire day had gone by without his notice.
-Headaches-Since adolescence Ephale has suffered from sporadic, yet severe headaches.  Beginning gradually the sensation will grow over time, maturing into a sharp stabbing pain over his right eyebrow that can persist for hours.  While so affected he often experiences dizziness and vertigo when making sudden movements, and exposure to bright light or loud noises will exacerbate the condition.  When the headaches pass they leave Ephale weary and depressed.  He prefers to try and sleep through the condition when it is fully active, and takes willow bark preparations to reduce the severity of his symptoms.  Unfortunately when Ephale overexerts his magical skills it will often trigger a headache.
-Rootless- Ephale is purposeless at present, wandering Santharia in a vain attempt to find the peace denied him in Ximax. Due to this he finds it difficult to find direction in his life, and is liable to be swept up in events around him from sheer lack of anything better to do.
-Reticent- Ephale is a quiet individual, by nature as well as upbringing. He avoids conversation when possible, and has been known to allow others to direct him if only because he finds it more agreeable than actually speaking to them. The exception to this is conversing with other mages, Ephale is perfectly willing to while away the hours in a discourse on magic, the car'áll, or anything else pertaining to the Ximaxian system.
-Kinless-Due to his illegitimate birth Ephale is not exactly welcome amongst his mother's people, and without her he finds little connection to his home town of Horth. Amongst the Maeverhim he is considered something of an anomaly, born upon the earth he is in their eyes Earthburned, but due to his largely human heritage they are willing to extend to him the same courtesy and welcome they offer to all travelers, but no more.
 
Magic
 Ephale is a talented wind mage, adept with many of the manifestations created through the principles of Sphere I.  He studied diligently to attain familiarity with both the physical and spiritual properties of his chosen element, and has found that the demands of his recent travels have actually improved the speed with which he can modify the Cár’áll.  Since taking his leave from the Academy he has seized on every opportunity to study during his travels, though he finds himself missing the great libraries of Ximax more keenly with each passing day.

Having completed his training in first sphere magic, Ephale was four years into his studies for fourth level when he lost direction.  As such he has begun to grasp the concepts necessary for the rearrangement of ouniá, but has yet to become fully capable of enacting such changes.  If given ample time and space to work his way through the casting in a meticulous fashion he can occasionally succeed at casting spells of 4th level, but they are weak and unstable, and the effort leaves him weary.  One of the young maelf's greatest weaknesses as a mage is his tendency to manifest a headache when overexerting  himself in his spellcasting.  The bouts brought on by his magic are shorter lived than his natural attacks, lasting only for a half hour or so, but are almost immediate in their effect, making it nearly impossible to continue casting.  He has found that the usual weariness that ensues includes a period of reduced ability to manipulate the Cár’áll.  Ephale requires approximately two hours of rest before his capabilities in magic return, and the fatigue will remain until he can sleep.  In dire circumstances Ephale can resort to taking an Arv seed along with his willow to mitigate the pain and weariness caused by his attacks.  This is a temporary measure, and a price will be paid when the herbs wear off.

Though unnecessary for his spells Ephale considers his staff to be a focus for his will, and uses it to improve his visualizations when casting.  He tends to gesture with it when manipulating the air, using the crook  as a mnemonic to better understand the movements he is trying to inspire.  The staff is also a useful aid while walking, and has been put to use as a weapon, a backscratcher, and a perch, on more than one occasion.

Elementary as it might be, the Conjure Wind spell is one of Ephale's favorites.  He often creates light breezes around himself for no reason other than to feel them brush against his face and tug at the locks of his hair.  To do this he touches the Cár’áll of the air around the area he wishes to affect, and encourages the expression of the physical property of movement in the wind ouniá.  He can then direct the wind this creates to blow in a particular direction by strengthening his influence over the ouniá in a corresponding section of the Cár’áll.

At the university and more recently while training Aylán, Ephale has found wind magics ability to boost reason, comprehension, and retention extraordinarily useful.  Given a dozen blinks to gather his will and focus on the targets Cár’áll he can intensify the influence of the wind ouniá on the target, specifically the  property of clarity, and its attendant aspect of reason.  This allows him to  remember facts more easily, and consider problems swiftly and completely.  Though useful the effect begins to dissipate as soon as he ceases to focus upon maintaining the change, but at his level of skill the ouniá lose their intensity slowly, allowing the enhanced faculties to persist for a few hours.

To deal with the dangers life on the road presents Ephale has practiced a form of the Nightshade Cloud spell, though he substitutes various powdered materials for the normal reagent.  Typically he has two vials of nightshade root, one of flour, and two filled with a finely ground mix of chili peppers and smoked pfepper grass seed, strapped to his belt.  He performs the spell by pouring the reagent from the vial while simultaneously influencing the Cár’áll of the powder and that of the surrounding air, causing the powders ouniá to express the aspect of lightness, and reducing the expression of movement to cause it to remain hanging in the air.  He then uses gentle manipulations of the air by way of the expression of the property of movement to blow the cloud toward his target, shaping it vaguely by creating gentle breezes to mold it into the formation he envisions.

If threatened in melee he is prepared to use Wind Exile to buy time, imposing his will on the air in front of him and powerfully emphasizing the wind ouniá in its Cár’áll while causing them to express the property of movement, and then directing it toward an opponent.  This manipulation, if done properly results in a powerful gale that tears away from his hands  rushing forward to knock foes away.  If he has the time, he finds that the spell is much more effective if he first excites the wind ouniá around him by generating a breeze toward the target and then harnessing the air for his spell.

To better adapt to the treetop lifestyle used in the Sharadon Ephale worked out a spell to safely let him mimic the Maeverhim's daring aerial dives.  First he intensifies the aspect of lightness within the ouniá comprising his own Cár’áll, and then begins to affect the air beneath him, amplifying the properties of movement and directing the effect upwards.  This causes a constant, steady updraft to form which when combined with his reduced weight usually allows him to drift slowly to the ground.  Due to the complexity of the manipulations this spell demands he cannot perform it quickly on others, and he finds it taxing to maintain the effect on more than one individual at a time.  If he must use it on another he generally employs a feather as a reagent to help him visualize the desired effect.  Notably the first successful trial of this spell was the event that convinced Ephale to wear breeches rather than a loincloth beneath his robes.

If Ephale desires simply to end a conflict or protect someone without injuring the aggressor he will use the Vanish spell to disarm them.  By isolating the Cár’áll of the opponent's weapon and violently encouraging its wind ouniá to express their physical properties he causes the target to be reduced to an invisible and incorporeal state.  Because the bearer is usually in motion when wielding their weapon this is especially effective, as the ghostly object passes through the bearer's hand when the spell comes into effect, and will remain suspended until Ephale ceases to concentrate upon it.

Though inferior to his cloud spell in actual combat, Ephale is quite fond of the so-called Clap of Thunder.  When casting this spell he prefers to raise his staff into the air, and then reach up with his will to take control of the air above his target.  There he excites the wind ouniá in two different areas, causing them to express the property of movement.  He then directs the two systems of wind against each other causing them to build up energy.  This charge is then precipitated by a thin filament of air between the center of the effect, and the target.  All along this filament the wind ouniá are excited and expressing the property of movement, without being allowed to travel; because of this they channel the bolt down, usually accompanied by Ephale slamming the butt of his staff into the ground.  At present he cannot maintain the effect at a level sufficient to injure the subject, but it is a visually impressive spell, and useful when he's feeling too lazy to light the campfire by hand.  If he desperately needs to harm someone and he cannot employ a more efficacious method he will attempt to amplify the effect by throwing as much of his Cár’áll into the spell as possible, likely employing a quartz crystal as a reagent to lessen the burden of holding the required visualizations.  If performed properly he can call down a more dangerous bolt, but the chance of a fizzle is quite high, and he will invariably suffer for this reckless use of power.

History
Flareguide Kaeryn was, in her time, a traveler, entertainer, lover, and mother.  Any story of her son must needs begin with her.  Born the third daughter of one of Horth's famous vintner families Kaeryn was always a vivacious young woman with a temperament to match her fiery Erpheronian hair.  At a very early age Kaeryn discovered she was one of the so-called Gifted Macanti, capable of igniting, and to a limited extent manipulating, small amounts of material at range using only a burst of focused intent.  She chose to cultivate this skill, learning to trigger it at will, and eventually making her living as an entertainer by putting on displays of brilliantly coloured flares accompanied by her own talented dancing and tumbling.  A true child of the road, Kaeryn did not long remain in Horth after mastering her gifts. She spent years wandering the country of Sarvonia, glorying in cultures and experiences she'd never imagined as a child.  It was during her last such trek that she happened to make her way down to the towering groves of the Sharadon and met Thyrón, a half-elf who lived amongst the Maeverhim.  In him she found a lover both beautiful and exotic, and in her he found someone for whom life was not measured in centuries.  Their romance was short lived; after only a scant few months, whether from vanity, fear, or wisdom Kaeryn chose to leave.  Three weeks into the trip home she became aware of her  pregnancy, and it was with considerable trepidation that she settled back in her birth town of Horth with an infant son.
 
Ephale's childhood home was a happy one, with the wealth set aside from her travels, and the grudging support of her parents, Kaeryn was able to provide a stable home and indulge herself in the joys that her new family brought.  The birth of her son seemed to have changed something within her, dampening her fervor for new sights, and letting her settle with only an occasional pang of remorse.  As for Ephale, his first memories are of laughing and dancing in their kitchen trying to catch the brilliant stars that his mother sent scurrying throughout the house, and the tears that followed when he succeeded in catching a small ember.  Despite the occasional mishap, it is perhaps entirely appropriate to say that it was Kaeryn's gift that goaded her son into his studies at Ximax.  Being herself only marginally educated, she longed to see her son become an important person, and begged an indulgence from her parents.  A tutor was sought and hired to provide Ephale with a decent education.  Formerly a scribe from the city of Voldar, Noroc had found himself unwelcome in his home town and taken a job with a wine merchant's caravan to escape the city.  He found the little village of Horth unpleasantly quaint, but the generous offers of the family and the considerable assets of his new patroness convinced him to stay for a time.  For Ephale the imposition of grammar, calligraphy and mathematics lessons were an unusual if welcome change, providing him with an excellent outlet for his growing curiosity.
 
As the years passed in Horth it became increasingly difficult for Ephale to appear as a human child, his unusual heritage created a certain distance between him and the other youths of the largely human populace.  When he turned fourteen his mother put a long standing plan into motion, she declared that it was time for him to start his real studies.  Ephale was soon to discover that she had been in contact with the Academy by messenger years before, and had sent a record of his progress, and some of Noroc's assessments of his talents.  Through a variety of promises she once more garnered the help of her parents, this time to pay tuition and set out for one last trip.  The journey to Ximax was a pleasant one for both travelers, and a fitting parting for the little family.  Kaeryn stayed in Ximax only long enough to help Ephale settle into his quarters in the Academy, asked him to write whenever he could, and then returned to Horth.  Two months later Ephale received word from his mother that she was married to the young scion of another vintner family and happy with the new arrangement, her only request was that he focus on becoming the man she knew he could.
 
Ximax was everything that the young Ephale had hoped, and in ways far, far more.  He had expected the professors with knowledge of facets of existence he couldn't yet conceive of, the libraries filled with more books than he could count, even the towers of awe inspiring beauty and mind-bending majesty, but he couldn't have been prepared for the culture.  Every second of every day he was immersed in magic, from the moment he woke, through every bite of the evening meal, even in the dreams that haunted his sleeping mind.  It was the culmination of his childhood aspirations, and he took to the university with enthusiasm.  His time with Noroc had prepared him somewhat for the rigors of academic life, and a natural facility for research and concentration made his early efforts toward spellcasting surprisingly well thought out and stable.  It was in these early years of his training that Ephale's headaches began to manifest.  Though healthy, he found that at unpredictable intervals a crippling pain would descend on him, stabbing into his skull and wracking his body for hours.  Most disturbingly, his use of magic seemed to aggravate the condition.  Worried about how such an ailment might affect his prospects of becoming a mage he spoke to healers within the city and even consulted some of the magi within the Academy.  Through these mediums he discovered that the condition was essentially incurable, one beyond the ken of healers, and poorly understood by his mentors.  Examination of his Cár’áll by a sympathetic mage during one such spell revealed that the condition seemed to temporarily stiffen the Xeuá within him, causing his magic to become unreliable and making it difficult to ameliorate through spellcraft.  At his healer's recommendation he began to use careful doses of willow bark to reduce the pain, and begged off classes on the days when it became too great to stand.
 
Though the multiethnic nature of the Academy provided him with his first chance to truly fit in, Ephale was never able to lose the patterns of his childhood.  He secluded himself rather than risk socializing, yet none can perennially escape the grasp of Etherus.  Some time in his seventh year at the academy he met Danita Farinas, daughter of a Centaurorian noble, and fourth in line of inheritance.  More to add an unusual feature to her skills than out of any fascination with the arcane Danita was older than most new applicants, having enrolled during her eighteenth summer.  An apprentice of the school of fire, a daring equestrian, and perhaps most importantly a bibliophile Danita first met Ephale when she knocked him off a ladder in the House of Tomes; to this day he doesn't know if it was an accident.  From that hectic first encounter their relationship grew in erratic bursts.  Compared to the charming young noblewoman Ephale felt boorish and anything but appealing, yet she came time and again to speak with him, to eat together in the Grand Hall, to sit under the cover of dusk beneath the willows outside the wind tower.  It was as many young loves, a passionate affair, yet as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  Three years after enrolling the call came for Danita to return to Thyslan.  A suitable marriage had finally been arranged.  At first despairing, and later resigned, there was many a tear to accompany the decision, but duty overbore matters of the heart, and the young woman chose to continue the trend set by Kaeryn.  In her absence Ephale turned back to old habits, diving into his studies with the overwhelming drive that only those who cannot stand to have unoccupied time can marshal.
 
The next three years passed almost unnoticed.  Ephale remembers only a vague satisfaction as he passed the third level examinations, the news of his mother's pregnancy was little more than a footnote, so involved in his work had he become.  He wrote a letter of congratulations, sent it and immediately fell back into his studies of a new sphere.  More than six months later he remembered to write again, and received no reply.  At first, he dismissed it as the distractions of her second motherhood, expecting that she would remember eventually, and send word.  His resolve wavered as another month passed, and then another, until finally, he decided to take a short vacation and visit her, and perhaps his new sibling.  The return trek to Horth was, if not necessarily pleasant, still a path he'd traveled before, and the trip was not overly arduous.  He arrived late in the evening and took a room at a small inn to rest before seeing his family.  Nervous about his first meeting with his stepfather Ephale took great care donning his robes and ensuring that everything about his appearance was perfect.  The butler turned him away at the door.  When he recovered from the ensuing confusion and irritation he caught a serving girl outside the service entrance and was told quite perfunctorily that the lady of the house had passed away during childbirth, and the lord certainly did not wish to see her bastard.  Stricken and beyond shocked by the sudden revelation Ephale stumbled away from the manor feeling more lost than he had ever thought possible.  Likely due to a somewhat addled state of mind it took Ephale the entire afternoon to discover where Kaeryn was entombed.  Grief stricken and perhaps not quite in his right mind he used his abilities to break into the crypt.  Mourning consumed him for hours, and when finally his thoughts had cleared he stumbled away from the icy grave and left for Ximax before the sun had fully risen.  As always he tried to drown his thoughts in study, but for perhaps the first time in his life he couldn't focus.  The Academy halls seemed terribly empty, even surrounded by other people, Ephale was alone.  For the first time he noticed how isolated he had become, and could no longer bear it.  Though many of his professors tried to convince him otherwise he chose to take a sabbatical of sorts, leaving the Academy for destinations unknown.

Leery of the dangers of the road, Ephale chose to sign on as an aide to traveling merchants, hoping to take advantage of their knowledge, and the protection of numbers.  Perhaps subconsciously he traveled ever farther south, switching employers at every city.  In the end he found himself at the edge of the Sharadon, whether from the call of his heritage, or a child's desire for comfort he had come to the land of his father.  Yet that meeting was also denied him, it did not take long for the young maelf to discover that Thyrón had chosen to become Earthburned and leave the forests.  Though saddened by the loss of the reunion he had half consciously promised himself Ephale chose to rest for a time amongst the treetop cities of the Maeverhim.  As they are to all travelers the elves were kind, welcoming, and alien.  As he had been his entire life, here too the mage was an outsider.  During his time amongst the trees Ephale managed to learn something of the culture of his father's people, adopting their fondness for wind-blown attire, and even expanding his understanding of Styrásh to a smattering of phrases.

 Perhaps out of loneliness, or even curiosity it was there amongst the trees that Ephale chose to seek out a companion, guided by a caretaker of the local flocks, he chose a fledgling raven to raise.  Naming the young Corvid Aylán, Ephale found himself charmed by his playful new charge.  Under the experienced instruction of the caretaker he began training the inquisitive creature to perform simple tricks.  He deviated slightly from the instructions by using his facility with wind magic to enhance Aylán's intelligence and retention during the training.  His experiments seemed successful, as he found that the young bird was capable of astonishing feats of intellect when augmented by his magic, and seemed to learn with unusual alacrity.  Together the pair spent a few months amidst the trees before Ephale was struck again by wanderlust.  Gathering his possessions and Aylán, the young mage set out onto the road again, this time with only his avian companion flapping along beside him.
 
Weapons
-A carved staff of darkly stained willow wood about a ped and eight palmspans tall.  In form the staff greatly resembles a tight shepherd's crook, the upper portion of the crook and the middle of the staff are wrapped with sturdy ithild leather, and the base is protected by a cap of steel carefully polished with linseed oil.
-A plain black handled dagger kept strapped to his belt. This is more of a utility knife than an actual weapon.
 
Belongings
-Reinforced Kyrattin hide haversack
-Simple bedroll and tarp, usually rolled together and hung from the bottom of the haversack
-Pair of laced trousers made from supple barsa dusk leather
-Two pale allia linen shirts, both trimmed with purple
- Dark green, silver embroidered cotton robe
-Hooded cloak of fine wool
-Pair of black leather boots
-Three silver earrings
-An iron flask of powdered nightshade root
-A small pouch of fine white sand
-A pouch of rough quartz crystals
-A sheaf of eagle feathers wrapped in waxed paper
-A tin of salt and one of pepper grass seeds
-A carved wooden slide-top box, with a selection of medicinal herbs inside; including a vial of dried willowbark tablets, Arv seeds, and Juk'lan leaves
-Ten glass vials with tight corks
-A lump of beeswax
-Waterskin
-Tinderbox with kindling
-A small, long handled iron pot
-A few sans
 
Familiar
Name: Aylán
Gender: Male
Age: 7 months
Race: Common Raven
Occupation: Trickster/Companion

Appearance
Length: 1 fore, 3 palmspans
Weight: 2 Ods, 8 Mut
Plumage Colour: Nor'sidian
Eye Colour: Nor'sidian
   
Utterly black, Aylán is a healthy young passerine with an inky sheen to his plumage.  He has a thick ruff of dark feathers around his neck and a strong beak that has more than once been put to use in defense of his companion.  A graceful flyer, each stroke of his night black wings leaves the crackling rustle of dry silk in the air.

Personality
As so many of his kind Aylán is an intensely curious creature.  Social as ravens go Aylán is often vocal where his keeper is silent, cawing, whistling, singing, or moaning at anyone that happens to catch his eye.  He is highly defensive of Ephale going so far as to attack people when he is threatened.  He also favors whistling loudly whenever his friend has slept in too long.  Though they have only occurred a handful of times in the period the two companions have known each other Aylán is now familiar with the pains that plague his keeper.  When the headaches begin he tends to become atypically quiet , caring for his friend in the only way he knows how.  He has also been known to determinedly harry people that approach Ephale when he is so stricken.

Tricks
Aylán is exceedingly clever when it suits him, and Ephale took great care in teaching him a few basic commands.  Though generally a rather pugnacious little fellow it seems he can tell when his companion truly needs him to act.
Stay:  When he chooses to obey this particular command Aylán will remain perched wherever he is, staying quite still until Ephale signals otherwise.
Get Up:  A relatively complex command Aylán will fly up to whatever perch Ephale happens to be pointing to.
Come:  Aylán will fly to Ephale's hand or staff, whichever he finds more intriguing.
Retrieve:  Usually when given this command Aylán will flutter to whatever object Ephale indicates and attempt to pick it up, whether he'll give it back is another matter.
Follow:  On the average day this is the command Ephale gives before they set out.  Aylán will range about within sight of his companion investigating as he wishes.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 01:14:06 PM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.
-Leonardo da Vinci



Tak
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« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2012, 12:01:17 AM »

Hello Ephale!  

Sorry it's taken so long to get to this.  I've read over your CD, very well done, and I've only found a few things I'd like to bring up.  Please note that I know nothing about magic and while it looks fine to me as it is - I'll need another mod to give you the 'ok' for that section.

I think your "Focus" strength is not a strength, it's more of a weakness from how you described it.  The way it is written your character will focus on something and lose sight of reality outside of this task.  If you want to make it a strength you'd need to change the wording to something along the lines of he can tune out distractions.  Focus is tricky since there is a fine line between Focused and Obsessed and the way it's currently written for you it's the latter.  

Now for your weakness  "City Born".  Being 'not strong' is not a weakness in the same sense as not knowing magic is not a weakness.  If Ephale is particularly weak then that IS a weakness but the way it's written is more of a "not strong".  I don't think you really need this weakness anyway.  If you want him to be weak for his personality - keep it with the aforementioned changes, but otherwise I don't think you need it to balance your character.

The last thing I want to address is the headaches.  I had a friend a long while back that would get terrible terrible migraines, we're talking so bad that he wouldn't just throw up - but he'd be out of school for days from it.  The issues I have right now is that there is no mention of this in your history, and you only have one described symptom in your weaknesses.  If you need some help with what some symptoms would be here is a link to the Mayo Clinic's site on Headaches.  The reason this has to be in your history is your strengths ans weaknesses help define who your are, so if you experience violent headaches since you were a child it really, really, needs to be in your history at least once.  It should be a persistent thing - how did this affect your training in Ximax, for instance - and not just get a passing mention, but I won't insist on making you write too much more.

I will give your character a more thorough read for spelling/grammar when I get some free time.  Let me know if you have any questions or concerns about my comments Big Grin


EDIT: Spelling and grammar and clarification
« Last Edit: October 15, 2012, 12:11:43 AM by Tak » Logged


"There’s Nothing Worth Doing That Isn’t Worth Overdoing" - Tak "The Magnificent"
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« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2012, 09:15:05 AM »

Hey Tak!

I'm not in any hurry.  Please tear it [being my CD] to pieces!  I'm new to this, so any aid is quite welcome.  I'll look forward to having someone go through the magic as well, but whatever you can give.

I'd envisioned focus as being an aid to spellcasting; the ability to ignore distractions even in combat, to continue his manipulations.  I can see how the obsession aspect of it could be a  weakness though.  Should I split it to represent both or just remark on it's benefits?  I'd be happy with either outcome.

Consider it gone.  grin  I'd added it as a nod to the mods who espouse no weapon skills for magi more than for it's suitability to his concept.  Not to mention I could not for the life of me think of a better name…

Hmm, I've never really researched headaches before, just suffered through them.  I agree that it wasn't given much screen time in the history section nor very well thought through when I gave it to him.  I'll be sure to make use of that site, pick out a more complete set of traits and include it in the history somewhere.

Again, thank you.  Your comments are greatly appreciated!  I'll make the changes as soon as I get a spare moment.
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Malexia Vendu
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« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2012, 11:10:11 PM »

Concerning magic...

I really like the magic section. Your use of magic within the concept and subtle use of the spells is impressive. I don't think you to be overly over-powered, and you get special kudos for using my nightshade cloud spell  ;) You seem to have a good grasp of the magic system.

Admittedly, some of those spells need tweaked. The "featherfall" spell especially may not be a Sphere I ability since it requires intensive manipulation of the wind ounia in your own car'all, as well as the surrounding air. You'd essentially be making yourself lighter while strengthening the air around you, in essence a cushion of sorts. That seems more or less Sphere II, touching Sphere III in my opinion. But another magic mod may disagree and find reasons to make it work easier...nevertheless, I am fine to keep it as is since it adds nice flavor to your concept.

I also like the use of the staff as a focus, something my own mage characters have. It just doesn't seem mage-like not to have a staff! I am glad you did not try to make an enchanted staff, as those can be OP and hard to find/make.

Overall, an impressive magic effort and I find no issues it.
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« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2012, 01:23:34 AM »

Ephale, is this really your first character?! Holy... Wow, this is extremely impressive. I've been here for a little while, and I still don't understand magic in Caelereth. Whereas you *certainly* seem to have a firm grasp of how it works! I have nothing but admiration and commendation for your CD. Well done, sir, well done!
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« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2012, 06:43:40 AM »

@Malexia
Yaay!  I am greatly relieved to know that reading every entry (except the spells of other elements) in the magic of Caelereth section was not in vain.  When I went through the wind spells I had a hard time finding anything I really liked for combat up until I got to Nightshade Cloud.  By far my favorite offensive spell, and so very useful if you get a tad creative with it.  I was vaguely worried about the use of 'Aspect' and 'Property' in the magic section, as what I read on the Dev Board explained the terms, but it didn't seem to be up as an official entry yet.

I admit that 'featherfall' was created more or less in a spurt of inspiration, and is likely well outside the acceptable limits for first sphere.  I really wanted to find a way to survive long drops though, and it seemed important for someone who lived with the Maeverhim (and doesn't have bird bones/elven buoyancy).  I feel that it requires two manipulations to be viable, but the second part is where it gets complicated.  I based the second effect (hardening the air) on Fu Luft's 'Wind walking,' but it probably doesn't apply, as now that I think about it Ephale would need to continuously be altering the properties of the air beneath him as the previously affected gas swept past.  Would a powerful updraft matched with reduced weight be better?  You mentioned that "some" of the spells needed to be tweaked, which other ones should I re-examine?

I'm personally of the opinion that all wizards need a staff.  grin  I spent quite some time looking for a thorough description of exactly what a focus does, and ended up going with the 'aid to visualization' that reagents use.  Nice to know I came to the right conclusion.

Thank you for your comments, I'll probably get around to making preliminary edits tonight, and I'll think about how I might fiddle 'featherfall' into a better sphere I spell.

@Kelancey
Haha, pretty much.  I wrote my first character in a TSW forum RP last year, but this is my first try for Caelereth and I suppose the entire fantasy genre.  I play a lot of RPG's though not to mention I read compulsively (and picking apart how magic works is my specialty) so the background was there.  Thanks for the praise, it really helps to know you like him.  blush


Edit:  I have made some of the advised changes, and decided to split the Focus strength into Focus and Fixation.  I've also made a few minor changes to wording here and there.  I'm moderately sure that all edits are marked with this colour.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2012, 10:34:22 AM by Ephale » Logged

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« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2012, 09:23:08 AM »

Hey everyone,
If a CD mod could take a look through my character and give me an update on what needs changing (or perhaps a first approval  ;))that would be great.

Edit:  I've taken the liberty of changing the slow fall spell.  I hope this new version is a better Sphere I effect.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2012, 09:27:38 AM by Ephale » Logged

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Leif Terskun
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« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2012, 08:25:17 PM »

Hey Ephale!

Congratulations, firstly, on your Haiku victory. I hope to see you participating in future ones (and, maybe, dropping into the Poets' Corner to share some more, he says in shameless self-promotion).

Anyway, to business. I like your CD. I like the way you write, and I like your willingness, almost eagerness, to adapt your CD in light of comments. I especially like the amount of research you did beforehand - have you considered going Devside? I do, however, have some comments, but they will be prefaced with a disclaimer. I'm not actually meant to give comments regarding spelling, punctuation, grammar, or style, where it doesn't obstruct understanding, so I'll not be offended if you ignore comments like that.


Red for corrections, orange for comments.

Appearance -> Hair Colour -> Nor'sidian

Appearance: Some confusion of number here - using singular pronouns that technically refer to plural nouns, and vice versa, that sort of thing. The coloured parts are suggestions that you are to feel free to ignore.
Quote
He keeps the unruly locks of his hair a palmspan longer than shoulder length and loose, letting the wind blow them about freely.  Due to his hair's fineness he finds it nearly impossible to conceal his ears, and he has found that after a few months in the sun its tips have a tendency to bleach out to a silvery grey.  Since childhood he has carried a small star-like burn scar in the center of his right palm, Technically, you need a semi-colon or ", and" here, not just a comma. more recently he acquired a thin scar about four nailsbreadths long at the base of his left deltoid.

Clothing: Some small grammatical things. Fairly unimportant.
Quote
Ephale's belt is of heavy Baneg hide dyed a plain nor'sidian, he had it made Suggest ", which he had made" shortly after leaving Ximax to provide easy access to his reagents; along the belt's length are a number of small steel bolts onto which he ties pouches or prepared bundles, and near the front of the belt are a series of five loops designed to anchor one vial each.

Personality:
Quote
Its use seems to satisfy some ineffable need

The last clause here, after the semi-colon, wants either to be a full main clause or to follow a comma. You could say "...vain; maintaining the state of his clothes and hair as best he can while travelling is almost an obsession with him" or replace the semi-colon with a comma. Or ignore me.
Quote
Though he has very few social skills, (or perhaps because of this) he is somewhat vain; maintaining the state of his clothes and hair as best he can while traveling.

Quote
but discovered that he had left the forest many years before.  He still wishes to meet his lost parent

Strengths:
Quote
-Educated-Formally trained at the Academy of Ximax, Ephale is literate and proficient in a small number of scholarly disciplines. Long hours in the House of Tomes have provided him with a considerable degree of knowledge on topics ranging from alchemy,Suggest you cut the comma to the application of medicinal herbs, and though not yet fluent or well versed he has some skill with the written and spoken forms of Styrásh.

Weaknesses: I would merge these sentences with a comma, because the second one doesn't have a main clause. You could also rephrase "making" and "leaving" to "This makes" and "leaves".
Quote
When lost in his magic, or engaged in some other activity that demands his attention, events that transpire around him are likely to go unnoticed.  Making it difficult for allies to gain his attention in a tense moment, and leaving him vulnerable to his adversaries.

Overall, I think your Strengths and Weaknesses are fairly balanced. I like them

Magic: I know nothing of magic, really. The last time I tried to discuss it with Rayne I was told to leave my preconceptions at the door, 'cause I was talking nonsense. I've never actively researched it beyond some general reading, so I'm pretty much pig ignorant. However, I like your magic section, and better mages than I have liked it too. Kudos.

Para. 2: Here, your lack of a comma does make the sentence ambiguous. I think you mean the magic-caused attacks last only half an hour, but your sentence implies that the natural ones do, but also that the magic ones are shorter and that half an hour is short - see what I mean? Add a comma after "natural attacks".
Quote
The bouts brought on by his magic are shorter lived than his natural attacks, lasting only for a half hour or so, but are almost immediate in their effect, making it nearly impossible to continue casting.

Para. 5: Possessives and split infinitive.
Quote
Ephale has found wind magic's ability to boost reason, comprehension, and retention extraordinarily useful.  Given a dozen blinks to gather his will and focus on the target's Cár’áll he can intensify the influence of the wind ouniá on the target, specifically the  property of clarity, and its attendant aspect of reason.  This allows him to more easily remember facts Suggest moving "more easily" to after "facts" and consider problems swiftly and completely.

Para. 6: "Practiced" a misspelling.
Quote
To deal with the dangers life on the road presents Ephale has practised a form of the Nightshade Cloud spell

History: I like it!

Para. 1:
Quote
At a very early age Kaeryn discovered she was one of the so-called Gifted Macanti, capable of igniting, and to a limited extent manipulating, small amounts of material at range using only a burst of focused intent.

Para. 4: Commas, spaces.
Quote
Though healthy, he found that at unpredictable intervals a crippling pain would descend on him, stabbing double space into double space his skull and wracking his body for hours.  Most disturbingly, his use of magic seemed to aggravate the condition.

Para. 5: Two main clauses joined by a comma. I'd like a semi-colon, colon, or, probably best of all, a full stop. A new sentence gives it the weight it deserves.
Quote
Three years after enrolling the call came for Danita to return to Thyslan,Here a suitable marriage had finally been arranged.

Para. 6: I would rephrase this a little.
Quote
The next three years passed almost unnoticed, Ephale remembers only a vague satisfaction as he passed the third level examinations, so involved in his work had he become that the news of his mother's pregnancy was little more than a footnote.
to
Quote
The next three years passed almost unnoticed. Ephale remembers only a vague satisfaction as he passed the third level examinations, and the news of his mother's pregnancy was little more than a footnote, so involved in his work had he become.

Familiar: Nor'sidean -> Nor'sidian (twice)


All in all, an extremely well-written CD. Well done. I haven't got any substantive edits for you to make, and you're free to ignore every single one of my picky comments - I haven't been particularly consistent in catching every instance of every issue. It's good practice for me, so I did it anyway. If you don't want to bother with them (and it won't affect your approval, 'cause I'm giving you one anyway), ignore everything between the horizontal lines.

As Malexia has said that she has no problems with your magic section, you may consider this a First Approval. If a magic expert does raise any concerns regarding your magic section, and you don't have to change anything else, this is a First Approval conditional on you dealing with those concerns to their satisfaction.

All the best!

Leif.
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« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2012, 05:06:37 AM »

Well hello there!

I am humbled to have been included at all.  Poetry isn't a sin I commit often, and I warn you now that encouraging me is a dangerous thing.  Too much of that and I'll start blogging on the nature of death or something…  (Disclaimer:  I do not consider poetry in general to be sinful, just the way I tend to write it.)

I'm generally very willing to please!  :D  I read a lot of CD's before starting my own, and tried to avoid the trap of arguing points that I wasn't well versed in, and making sure I double checked the material before writing.  I have poked around the dev boards a bit, but I myself am not much of a writer.  Creating pieces independent of others is difficult for me, and I'm not sure I have sufficient understanding of the setting to contribute meaningfully.  Though I admit the witch spells, and elemental property definitions being worked on are tempting me terribly.  I'm the sort to appreciate good editing, so your comments will be considered carefully, whether my errors obstruct understanding or not.

Looking through your suggestions I am happy to include them all, as every mistake offends me greatly.   Edits have been made, spelling and punctuation are unmarked, but  phrasing changes are marked with the greenish colour I've been favoring lately.  Your insight is truly appreciated, and if editing is good for you, then I think my work benefits doubly.

Oh, and yaaay!  First Approval!  Conditions understood and heartily agreed with.  Perhaps I'll see you in game at some point.
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2012, 06:18:59 AM »

Nice job!  Thumb up I would like to congradulate you on getting a mage character approved so quickly. Like you I chose a mage character to start out but unlike you it took me two years to get approved. So once again good job. I look forward to seeing you in a few stories.
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« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2012, 06:36:55 AM »

Wow  Shocked two years...now that is dedication.  I read through your CD when planning Ephale, but I never noticed the time gap.  I'm originally a D&D player myself, so I had to skirt a lot of the same issues.  The slow fall spell Ephale uses likely stems from a lingering belief that all level one spellcasters should be able to survive a drop off a six story building.   ;)

Here's to hoping I can get a second approval by the 6th.  That would make it a nice even month since Ephale was posted.
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2012, 09:32:03 AM »

 :D  I was hoping a magic mod was going to give this an official approval, but since none has come forth, I'm comfortable giving this an approval based on Mals lack of critique.  She did not object to anything written, so I'll assume an implied approval.

If you remove the colour, I will title and archive this.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 01:12:27 PM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2012, 11:43:44 AM »

I'll be on it right away.

EDIT:  There we go, I think I've got it all.  Thank you so much for that final nudge.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 11:52:16 AM by Ephale » Logged

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« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2012, 01:19:08 PM »

 :D  Titled and Archived.  Congrats.
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