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Author Topic: Astrid Byström/ Kuglimz/ Farmer  (Read 6300 times)
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Astrid Byström
Barbarous Beauty
Approved Character
*
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Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Kuglimz


« on: March 20, 2013, 01:18:54 AM »

Name Astrid Byström
Gender Female
Age 28
Race Human
Tribe Kuglimz
Occupation Farmer
Title Barbarous Beauty

Height 1 Ped, 1 Fore, 2 Palmspans
Weight 9 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 1 Od
Hair Color Lyth’bel Pollen
Eye Color Baveras’ Eye

Physical Appearance
To say that Astrid is petite would be an understatement, although it might be wise to strike that word from your vocabulary when you are speaking to her. While her size in diminutive, her spirit is that of a wolf’s, or so Rodmar, her late husband would say. Her long, blonde hair falls in waves down her back, usually let free to do as it will, but braided along her temples to keep the luscious locks from impeding her vision. Rodmar likened the color to that of the sun in the morning, when mist covered the land and filtered the harsh rays to a pleasant glow. In the privacy of their bedroom, when no one was watching, they would lay side by side, Rodmar twining strands of it in his rough, calloused fingers. “Soft as silk”, he would say, smiling a tender smile that he reserved for her alone.

Her eyes are a remarkable shade that hovers between being both blue and green. The color of the sea on a clear, sunny day, they can spark with fierce passion or cut a man to ribbons with a single glare. Large and round, they are framed by a thick fringe of golden lashes, the same color as her eyebrows, and a shade or so darker than her hair. They are set in a face that is soft and oval-shaped, with high contoured cheekbones and a strong, although feminine, chin. A beautiful face by any man's standard. Even after the trials of her life, the skin is still velvety soft and blemish-free, without a single wrinkle to mark its surface. In the summer months, many days spent out of doors will turn the pale, creamy skin a light bronze, a tone that compliments her face and hair color remarkably well. When winter comes, that soft golden sheen will fade and her skin becomes almost translucently fair.

Even after giving birth to two babes, her body is still that of a woman ten years her junior. Strong and supple from nearly constant exercise, the skin stretches taut over finely sculpted muscle. Still, her strength does not detract from her feminine form. Her waist, neatly trim and almost breakable in its slimness, tapers up from the generous curve of her hips. Firm breasts, still perky after nursing two children, are neither too small nor too full.  “The perfect palm full”, her husband would delight in telling her, a devilishly handsome grin on his face, as his own palm fitted nicely over the mounds. He had enjoyed her body, reveling in the feel of her soft skin under the contrasting roughness of his fingers.

Clothing
Astrid wears clothing that is not so different from that of the rest of her tribe. Her shift is made of soft cotton, falling down past her ankles and fastened at her bosom with an intricate silver brooch. Most of her dresses are made of similar cotton, although woven thicker. Unlike her shift, which is floor length, the dress will stop just past her knees, the shoulder straps fastened with smaller silver brooches. Astrid favors light, neutral colors, her favorite dress being a simple but charming creation in a beige color. She has two pairs of shoes, ankle height brown leather boots, and a pair of red leather sandals that have several intricately laced straps that start at her toes, proceed up her foot, and stop just over her ankles. When the weather turns cold, she dons thick woolen stockings and a light brown cloak lined with wolf pelts. The cloak has an oversized hood to shield her face from harsh winds and fastens at her neck with a simple silver clasp. Besides her wedding band, a plain gold ring with a single ruby that has her and Rodmar’s names etched into the inside, she wears no other adornment. Occasionally she will weave brightly colored ribbons or beads into her hair if she is feeling especially fanciful.

Personality
Like her father, Astrid has always been quick to temper. She tries, to no avail, to stop her emotions from controlling her. The problem is that she is an extremely passionate woman, tending to lean towards the extreme of emotions. Her mood, however, can be fickle as well, turning from rage to sexual ardor in a split second. Many a night when her husband was still alive, they would argue about anything and everything, fighting tooth and nail, neither of them willing to relent. It never lasted long, however, for as soon as the fight turned physical, Rodmar would swiftly scoop her into his arms and deposit her onto the bed. The mere look of lust and carnal desire in his eyes could turn her legs to jelly and dissipate her anger like nothing else.

Just like her anger, her love can also be all-consuming. She had loved Rodmar as she had loved no one else, except perhaps her children. He had been everything to her, the only person she would allow herself to look to for support. His death had been more than heartbreaking, it nearly broke her soul. It was only because of her children that she was able to pull herself out of the depths of her own melancholy and continue on with her life. Now she again looks after her children with the fierceness of a mother lioness. Vidar, her son and firstborn child, looks so much like his father and it sometimes pains her to look upon his face, but she would do anything to protect him and teach him to become a man that Rodmar would have been proud to have sired. Freydis, her daughter, takes after her mother in looks but not temperament. She is calm and serene, unlike Astrid who made sure that her daughter would be raised as a lady might, not in the heavy-handed fashion that her father raised her.

Even with all of her faults, Astrid is a generally amiable person, although she does delight in a little good-natured ribbing every once in awhile. She is honest, loyal, and dependable, and does her best to raise her children to be the same. Sure she is a bit rough around the edges, but who wouldn’t be with an overbearing, Kuglimz father who raised you on his own.


Strengths
Swordsmanship - With her two Helcrani shortswords, Astrid can carve through a person like carving a chicken for dinner. While her father taught her the basics of swordsmanship, it was her late husband that helped her hone those skills. At a level that would not quite qualify her as an expert yet, she practices regularly, helping to teach her young son how to handle a sword as well.

Gunnar - Astrid's Kev’lor horse, Gunnar, is her most trusted companion. For the past six years he has been a constant presence in her life, helping till the fields of her farm and being her primary mode of transportation. Having learned how to ride from a very young age, Astrid is a master equestrian, controlling the strong willed animal and even teaching him a few simple commands, such as summoning him with a mere whistle.

Farmer - The family farm had been her husband's long before they met, and while she had no previous experience before they were married, she caught on quickly. Her and her two children, as well as her brother-in-law, each take equal share in the running of the farm, taking the business seriously as it is their main supply of income.

Perceptive - Not only is she eerily attune to her surroundings at any given time, she can also sense a person's true motive when talking to them. It wouldn't be wise to try to sneak a lie past Astrid, she can sense the deceit before the words have even left your mouth.

Weaknesses
Stubborn - Irrationally stubborn and bullheaded, once she has made a decision, she will not stray. The whole world, all of Sarvonia, could come crashing down on her head and she would not budge. Sometimes her stubbornness will cloud her mind, making it hard to see that a particular course of action might have been the wrong one.

Prideful
- Coupled with her stubbornness, her pride is her greatest weakness. Even if all of the odds were stacked against her, her pride would force her to roll the dice. Being small her whole life, she has felt that she constantly needs to prove herself. Her pride will not let her back down or accept failure.

Weak Shoulder - After falling from her mother's horse when she was a young girl, and dislocating her right shoulder, it has never been the same. Normal day-to-day activities will not aggravate the old injury, but after a few hours of manual labor, her shoulder will begin to betray her mind, tensing up and throbbing painfully.

Quick Temper
- Her husband would always tell her, "Your bark is just as bad as your bite." Quick to anger, they spent many a night fighting, her red-faced and enraged, Rodmar grinning wickedly at her temper. Impassioned by her spirit, once their fights turned physical, he would throw her over his shoulder and continue their spat in the bedroom. Unfortunately, not everyone has the playful yet savage disposition of her husband and do not take her temper in stride as he did.

History
Astrid had lived in the Celeste Lowland her whole life, along with the rest of the Helvet’ine tribe. Her mother, a former Fal’cone, had died giving birth to her, so it had been up to her father, Ivar, to raise her. He did the best that he could, loving her in his own way, and raising her as he might a son. Practicing swordplay has always been one of her first memories, even though sparring with Ivar, who was none too gentle in his teachings, would usually be a rather grueling experience. He wanted her to be strong and capable of defending herself if the need arose. If it had not been for her aunt Hilde, she might have grown up with the temperament of a man in a woman’s body. Hilde, however, made sure that Astrid did not miss out on the intricacies of womanhood. She taught her to sew, cook, clean, and how a woman should behave in general. She also taught her how to ride her mother's mare, being a fine horsewoman herself. When Astrid's Put'daei'vir occurred, Hilde made sure that she also learned of womanhood and everything that it encompassed. Hilde was a loving woman and did her best to fill the place of her deceased sister, but with three children of her own, and two grandchildren besides, it was difficult for her to divide her time equally.

When Astrid was twelve, her father died of consumption. Hilde had invited her to come and live with her and her family but Astrid knew that there was barely enough money and food for them to feed themselves, let alone adding another mouth to that. So, she stayed at her father's house, tending it and living off what her father had left her as best she could. She struggled through those first couple months, until Rodmar arrived. A son of the Helvet’ine, he had been away for many years, taking several mercenary positions to help bring in more money for his family farm. When she first saw him, she was in awe. He was a large, physically imposing man, with long blonde hair, penetrating blue eyes, and a smile that could turn her legs to mush.

They married not too long after his return and instead of moving in with his family, Rodmar decided to move into her father’s house with her. “The land is fertile here, it will yield much profit by tending it,” Rodmar told her. Both of them worked tirelessly to turn that little spit of land into a thriving farm. In her eyes, Rodmar was capable of anything, and he proved her right time and time again. First, his magic touch sprouted vegetation from that long barren dirt almost overnight it seemed. Then, when Astrid gave birth to their son, Vidar, Rodmar proved to be a loving and happy father, finding joy in simply holding their small son in his arms. It amazed her, the two different sides to this man. He would make love to her so slowly, tenderly, and then the next day take a job as a mercenary and return a few weeks later, caked in blood and dirt. He was ferocious but lighthearted and jovial, and he was hers.

When she became pregnant for a second time, Rodmar was able to devote more time to her, not having to tend to the farm as much. They would lie in bed at night, his hand rubbing her large, round belly, and he would whisper things to their unborn child so quietly that even she couldn’t hear what he was saying. Their daughter, Freydis, was born not two years after Vidar, and she looked exactly like her mother. Although, truth to tell, she had that blonde hair and blue eyes of both her parents, as did Vidar.

While their marriage was a happy one, and full of love, Astrid had that quick temper that most Kuglimz inherited. Many a night she would find herself in a heated argument with her husband, screaming and throwing things, punching and kicking at him. So much larger than his tiny wife, Rodmar could restrain her fairly easily, although he would wake up in the morning with a black eye fairly frequently, but he didn’t mind. He would scoop her up on his arms when he had had enough, and deposit her none too gently on their bed, making love to her until the morning sun shone through their window.

Their love, their unbreakable bond, was what made Rodmar’s death, or disappearance, as Astrid would say, that much harder on her. After their son’s eleventh birthday, Rodmar had taken yet another job as a mercenary to make up for the lack of funds during the winter months. Weeks went by, weeks turned into months, and months into nearly a year since he had left. Eventually, Astrid resigned herself to the fact that he would not return and while any other women might have fallen into despair, she became enraged. She wasn’t quite sure at whom, however. Whether it was at Rodmar for not returning, or at whoever it was that killed him or kept him from her.

Leaving the farm and her children in the care of her brother-in-law, Knut, she left the Lowlands in order to find her husband, or bring back the head of the man that killed him. After a few months she would return to her family for awhile, making sure that they were well taken after and that they knew that she loved them, that she had to do this to bring closure to not only herself, but to her children as well.

Weapon
Astrid has two Helcrani shortswords, custom made to fit her small grip, so they are a tad bit smaller than normal. The blades are made of steel and are double-edged. The grips are wrapped in malleable brown leather that have contoured to her hands over time. She maintains them meticulously, keeping them razor sharp and clean.

Familiar
Name Gunnar
Age 6
Gender Male
Species Kev'lor Horse
Hair Color Light Brown
Eye Color Black
Height 6 Fores, 1 Palmspan
Weight 25 Pygges

Physical Appearance
Standing at just over six fores, Gunnar dwarfs his owner. The offspring of Astrid's mother's horse, he takes after her coloring. Light chestnut hair covers the majority of his thickly muscled body, with the mane and tail a darker shade of brown. From the bend of his knees down, there are thick tufts of pure white hair. His hooves, although partially covered by the white hair, are massive at just about two palmspans wide. His muzzle is aquiline, his profile curving in a slight arc and has the distinct white markings known as the "meivz", which is the color of the Sur'tyan and is thought to be lucky or blessed.

Personality

Gunnar has a temperament that nearly mirrors his owner. While he is loyal to Astrid, he is quick tempered when it comes to strangers. If anyone besides Astrid, or her children, attempted to mount him, he would swiftly buck and send them flying to the ground. Not a horse to scare easily, he rarely gets spooked and will not flinch when charging full speed into battle, a war horse in both body and spirit. He has been trained well and will come at only Astrid's whistle, and he can be ridden without the use of reins, trained to maneuver by leg pressure alone as well.

Belongings
Pack
Bedroll
Flint
Money Pouch
Mess Kit
Clothing
Compass
Dried Meat/Fruit
Waterskin

« Last Edit: April 26, 2013, 08:18:54 PM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Astrid Byström
Barbarous Beauty
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2013, 10:36:48 PM »

I know I'm not quite finished yet, but if anyone could give me some advice or constructive criticism, I'd really appreciate it.
Logged

Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Astrid Byström
Barbarous Beauty
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2013, 11:26:39 PM »

Alright, I'm all finished now!  grin Comments welcome!
Logged

Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Eyron
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2


Human - Erpheronian


« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2013, 11:45:41 AM »

Hey Astrid! First of all, I just want to say I love this CD!! You should be really proud of yourself, not only is it well researched and integrated, but it's also wonderfully written. Pretty much all of my comments are comma/hyphens, so if you disagree with them that's perfectly fine, it's largely personal preference. Look for the red.



Name Astrid Byström
Gender Female
Age 28
Race Human
Tribe Kuglimz
Occupation Farmer
Title TBD

Height 1 Ped, 1 Fore, 2 Palmspans
Weight 9 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 1 Od
Hair Color Lyth’bel Pollen
Eye Color Baveras’ Eye

Physical Appearance
To say that Astrid is petite would be an understatement, although it might be wise to strike that word from your vocabulary when you are speaking to her. While her size in diminutive, her spirit is that of a wolf’s, or so her late husband would say. Her long, (comma) blonde hair falls in waves down her back, usually let free to do as it will, (comma) but braided along her temples to keep the luscious locks from impeding her vision. Rodmar, her late husband (repetition of 'late husband', perhaps consider introducing his name when you use this phrase a couple of sentences ago instead.), likened the color to that of the sun in the morning, when mist covered the land and filtered the harsh rays to a pleasant glow. In the privacy of their bedroom, when no one was watching, they would lay side by side, Rodmar twining strands of it in his rough, calloused fingers. “Soft as silk”, he would say, smiling a tender smile that he reserved for her alone.

Her eyes are a remarkable shade that hovers between being both blue and green. The color of the sea on a clear, sunny day, they can spark with fierce passion or cut a man to ribbons with a single glare. Large and round, they are framed by a thick fringe of golden lashes, the same color as her eyebrows, and a shade or so darker than her hair. They are set in a face that is soft and oval-shaped, with high contoured cheekbones and a strong, although feminine, chin. A beautiful face by any man's (apostrophe) standard. Even after the trials of her life, the skin is still velvety soft and blemish-free (comma), without a single wrinkle to mark its surface. In the summer months, many days spent out of doors will turn the pale, creamy skin a light bronze, a tone that compliments her face and hair color remarkably well. When winter comes, that soft golden sheen will fade and her skin becomes almost translucently fair.

Even after giving birth to two babes, her body is still that of a woman ten years her junior. Strong and supple from nearly constant exercise, the skin stretches taut over finely sculpted muscle. Still, her strength does not detract from her feminine form. Her waist, neatly trim and almost breakable in its slimness, tapers up from the generous curve of her hips. Firm breasts, still perky after nursing two children, are neither too small nor too full.  “The perfect palm full”, her husband would delight in telling her, a devilishly handsome grin on his face, as his own palm fitted nicely over the mounds. He had enjoyed her body, reveling in the feel of her soft skin under the contrasting roughness of his fingers.

Clothing
Astrid wears clothing that is not so different from that of the rest of her tribe. Her shift is made of soft cotton, falling down past her ankles and fastened at her bosom with an intricate silver brooch. Most of her dresses are made of similar cotton, although woven thicker. Unlike her shift, which is floor length, the dress will stop just past her knees, the shoulder straps fastened with smaller silver brooches. Astrid favors light, neutral colors, her favorite dress being a simple but charming creation in a beige color. She has two pairs of shoes, ankle height brown leather boots, and a pair of red leather sandals that have several intricately laced straps that start at her toes, proceed up her foot, and stop just over her ankles. When the weather turns cold, she dons thick woolen stockings and a light brown cloak lined with wolf pelts. The cloak has an oversized hood to shield her face from harsh winds and fastens at her neck with a simple silver clasp. Besides her wedding band, a plain gold ring with her and Rodmar’s names etched into the inside, she wears no other adornment (the Kuglimz exchange wedding jewels. It can still be a ring, but the important thing is that it have a ruby, see here for more information). Occasionally she will weave brightly colored ribbons or beads into her hair if she is feeling especially fanciful.

Personality
Like her father, Astrid has always been quick to temper. She tries, to no avail, to stop her emotions from controlling her. The problem is that she is an extremely passionate woman, tending to lean towards the extreme of emotions. Her mood, however, can be fickle as well, turning from rage to sexual ardor in a split second. Many a night when her husband was still alive, they would argue about anything and everything, fighting tooth and nail, neither of them willing to relent. It never lasted long, (comma) however, for as soon as the fight turned physical, Rodmar would swiftly scoop her into his arms and deposit her onto the bed. The mere look of lust and carnal desire in his eyes could turn her legs to jelly and dissipate her anger like nothing else.

Just like her anger, her love can also be all-consuming (hyphen). She had loved Rodmar as she had loved no one else, except perhaps her children. He had been everything to her, the only person she would allow herself to look to for support. His death had been more than heartbreaking, it nearly broke her soul. It was only because of her children that she was able to pull herself out of the depths of her own melancholy and continue on with her life. Now she again looks after her children with the fierceness of a mother lioness. Her son, Vidar, looks so much like his father and it sometimes pains her to look upon his face, but she would do anything to protect him and teach him to become a man that Rodmar would have been proud to have sired. Freydis, her daughter and firstborn child takes after her mother in looks but not temperament. Calm and serene, Astrid made sure that her daughter would be raised as a lady might, not in the heavy-handed (hyphen) fashion that her father raised her.

Even with all of her faults, Astrid is a generally amiable person, although she does delight in a little good-natured ribbing every once and while (once in a while?). She is honest, loyal, and dependable, and does her best to raise her children to be the same. Sure she is a bit rough around the edges, but who wouldn’t be with an overbearing, Kuglimz father who raised you on his own.


Strengths
Swordsmanship - With her two Odomon swords, Astrid can carve through a person like carving a chicken for dinner. While her father taught her the basics of swordsmanship, it was her late husband that helped her hone those skills. Somewhere between the skill level of a novice and expert, she practices regularly, helping to teach her young son how to handle a sword as well.

Gunnar - Astrid's (apostrophe) Kev’lor horse, Gunnar, is her most trusted companion. For the past six years he has been a constant presence in her life, helping till the fields of her farm and being her primary mode of transportation. Having learned how to ride from a very young age, Astrid is a master equestrian, controlling the strong willed animal and even teaching him a few simple commands, such as summoning him with a mere whistle.

Farmer - The family farm had been her husband's (apostrophe) long before they met, and while she had no previous experience before they were married, she caught on quickly. Her and her two children, as well as her brother-in-law, each take equal share in the running of the farm, taking the business seriously as it is their main supply of income.

Perceptive - Not only is she eerily attune to her surroundings at any given time, she can also sense a person's (apostrophe) true motive when talking to them. It wouldn't be wise to try to sneak a lie past Astrid, she can sense the deceit before the words have even left your mouth.

Weaknesses
Stubborn - Irrationally stubborn and bullheaded, once she has made a decision, she will not stray. The whole world, all of Sarvonia (Technically, Sarvonia isn’t the whole world, Caelereth is, but since this is just a idiom I guess it doesn’t really matter. Plus, Sarvonia may be the whole world to Astrid so maybe it makes more sense. So, anyway, just some ramblings, feel free to ignore and slowly edge away.), could come crashing down on her head and she would not budge. Sometimes her stubbornness will cloud her mind, making it hard to see that a particular course of action might have been the wrong one.

Prideful
- Coupled with her stubbornness, her pride is her greatest weakness. Even if all of the odds were stacked against her, her pride would force her to roll the dice. Being small her whole life, she has felt that she constantly needs to prove herself. Her pride will not let her back down or accept failure.

Weak Shoulder - After falling from her mother's (apostrophe) horse when she was a young girl, and dislocating her right shoulder, it has never been the same. Normal day-to-day activities will not aggravate the old injury, but after a few hours of manual labor, her shoulder will begin to betray her mind, tensing up and throbbing painfully.

Quick Temper
- Her husband would always tell her, "Your bark is just as bad as your bite." Quick to anger, they spent many a night fighting, her red-faced (hyphen) and enraged, Rodmar grinning wickedly at her temper. Impassioned by her spirit, once their fights turned physical, he would throw her over his shoulder and continue their spat in the bedroom. Unfortunately, not everyone had (has?) the playful yet savage disposition of her husband and do not take her temper in stride as he did.

History
Astrid had lived in the Celeste Lowland her whole life, along with the rest of the Helvet’ine tribe. Her mother, a former Fal’cone, had died giving birth to her, so it had been up to her father, Ivar, to raise her. He did the best that he could, loving her in his own way, and raising her as he might a son. Practicing swordplay has always been one of her first memories, sparring with Ivar, (comma, though it may be better to rejig this sentence a bit, as it seems a little awkward to me) who was none too gentle in his teachings. He wanted her to be strong and capable of defending herself if the need arose. If it had not been for her aunt Hilde, she might have grown up with the temperament of a man in a woman’s body. Hilde, however, made sure that Astrid did not miss out on the intricacies of womanhood. She taught her to sew, cook, clean, and how a woman should behave in general. She also taught her how to ride her mother's (apostrophe) mare, being a fine horsewoman herself, Hilde was a great teacher (Again, just a tad awkward. Maybe split it into two, or something else you can think of.). Hilde was a loving woman and did her best to fill the place of her deceased sister, but with three children of her own, and two grandchildren besides, it was difficult for her to divide her time equally.

When Astrid was twelve, her father died of consumption. Hilde had invited her to come and live with her and her family but Astrid knew that there was barely enough money and food for them to feed themselves, let alone adding another mouth to that. So, she stayed at her father's (apostrophe and 's') house, tending it and living off what her father had left her as best she could. She struggled through those first couple months, until Rodmar arrived. A son of the Helvet’ine, he had been away for many years, taking several mercenary positions to help bring in more money for his family farm. When she first saw him, she was in awe. He was a large, physically imposing man, with long blonde hair, penetrating blue eyes, and a smile that could turn her legs to mush.

They married not too long after his return (Just to let you know, Kuglimz women don’t marry before menarche. This entry say this usually occurs 13-16, but 12 is pretty much the average now, and was fairly common in medieval times as well so it shouldn’t be a problem. Maybe consider adding something about this, since it is an important part of a Kuglimz girl’s life. Maybe just a few words when you mention Hilde teaching her? But if you’d rather not that’s fine, I’m just nitpicking because your CD is so good.) and instead of moving in with his family, Rodmar decided to move into her father’s house with her. “The land is fertile here, it will yield much profit by tending it,” Rodmar told her. Both of them worked tirelessly to turn that little spit of land into a thriving farm. In her eyes, Rodmar was capable of anything, and he proved her right time and time again. First, his magic touch sprouted vegetation from that long barren dirt almost overnight it seemed. Then, when Astrid gave birth to their son, Vidar, Rodmar proved to be a loving and happy father, finding joy in simply holding their small son in his arms. It amazed her, the two different sides to this man. He would make love to her so slowly, tenderly, and then the next day take a job as a mercenary and return a few weeks later, caked in blood and dirt. He was ferocious but lighthearted and jovial, and he was hers.

When she became pregnant for a second time, Rodmar was able to devote more time to her, not having to tend to the farm as much. They would lie in bed at night, his hand rubbing her large, round belly, and he would whisper things to their unborn child so quietly that even she couldn’t hear what he was saying. Their daughter, Freydis, was born not two years after Vidar, and she looked exactly like her mother. Although, truth to tell, she had that blonde hair and blue eyes of both her parents, as did Vidar.

While their marriage was a happy one, and full of love, Astrid had that quick temper that most Kuglimz inherited. Many a night she would find herself in a heated argument with her husband, screaming and throwing things, punching and kicking at him. So much larger than his tiny wife, Rodmar could restrain her fairly easily, although he would wake up in the morning with a black eye fairly frequently, but he didn’t mind. He would scoop her up on his arms when he had had enough, and deposit her none too gently on their bed, making love to her until the morning sun shone through their window.

Their love, their unbreakable bond, was what made Rodmar’s death, or disappearance, (comma) as Astrid would say, that much harder on her. After their son’s eleventh birthday, Rodmar had taken yet another job as a mercenary to make up for the lack of funds during the winter months. Weeks went by, weeks turned into months, and months into nearly a year since he had left. Eventually, Astrid resigned herself to the fact that he would not return and while any other women might have fallen into despair, she became enraged. She wasn’t quite sure at whom, however. Whether it was at Rodmar for not returning, or at whoever it was that killed him or kept him from her.

Leaving the farm and her children in the care of her brother-in-law, Knut, she left the Lowlands in order to find her husband, or bring back the head of the man that killed him. After a few months she would return to her family for awhile, making sure that they were well taken after and that they knew that she loved them, that she had to do this to bring closure to not only herself, but to her children as well.

Weapon
Astrid has two Odomon swords, custom made to fit her small grip, so they are a tad bit smaller than normal. The blades are single edged, with a thicker back forming a small, flat wedge. The grips are wrapped in malleable brown leather that has contoured to her hands over time. She maintains them meticulously, keeping them razor sharp and clean.

Familiar
Name Gunnar
Age 6
Gender Male
Species Kev'lor Horse
Hair Color Light Brown
Eye Color Black
Height 6 Fores, 1 Palmspan
Weight 25 Pygges

Physical Appearance
Standing at just over six fores, Gunnar dwarfs his owner. The offspring of Astrid's, (no comma) mother's (apostrophe) horse, he takes after her coloring. Light chestnut hair covers the majority of his thickly muscled body, (comma) with the mane and tail a darker shade of brown. From the bend of his knees down, there are thick tufts of pure white hair, slightly resembling leg warmers (Just a nitpick, but leg warmers don’t exist here so maybe there’s something else you could use? Greaves are the first thing that come to mind). His hooves, although partially covered by the white hair, are massive at just about two palmspans wide. His muzzle is aquiline, his profile curving in a slight arc and has the distinct white markings known as the "meivz", which is the color of the Sur'tyan and is thought to be lucky or blessed.

Personality

Gunnar has a temperament that nearly mirrors his owner. While he is loyal to Astrid, he is quick tempered when it comes to strangers. If anyone besides Astrid, or her children, attempted to mount him, he would swiftly buck and send them flying to the ground. Not a horse to scare easily, he rarely gets spooked and will not flinch when charging full speed into battle, a war horse in both body and spirit. He has been trained well and will come at only Astrid's whistle, and he can be ridden without the use of reins, trained to maneuver by leg pressure alone as well.

Belongings
Pack
Bedroll
Flint
Money Pouch
Mess Kit
Clothing
Compass
Dried Meat/Fruit
Waterskin



Again, congratulations Astrid! I really liked this CD. I'd guess you're not too far from approval. Just make sure to watch out for your possessive apostrophes, you had quite a few missing. Other than that, well done!
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Astrid Byström
Barbarous Beauty
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Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2013, 11:37:26 PM »

Thank you for the comments. I believe I had addressed everything you mentioned.
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Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Astrid Byström
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Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2013, 11:08:25 PM »

If anyone could find some time to go through my CD and give me some feedback, I would greatly appreciate it.  :)
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Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Krausus
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« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2013, 04:12:58 AM »

Hey! I'm Erik, native of NY and lover of RP. Great CD and I think it's almost done but add a few extra things there like maybe her preference in swords and also what level in swordsmanship she is. "Between novice and expert" leaves much to desire.

And will anyone check out my CD?

-Erik/Krausus.
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Time passes. Watermelons fly. And I end up with a concussion. And a suicide note. Krausus' CD
Astrid Byström
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Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2013, 06:53:36 AM »

Ive already described her weapons in the "Weapons" section and altered her skill level with them.
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Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2013, 10:20:08 AM »

Astrid, I'm too busy through the week to give this other than a cursory browse, which I did.  Love the CD.  I'll give it a hard look this weekend, and have no doubt will give an approval. :)
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2013, 01:20:28 AM »

I read through this, and I'll give you a first approval. I find nothing wrong, and it was an enjoyable read. :)

One thing though, I'm just confused as to this line:

Quote
Calm and serene, Astrid made sure that her daughter would be raised as a lady might, not in the heavy-handed fashion that her father raised her.

Would you be referring to Astrid here, or to her daughter? Because it reads like you're referring to Astrid, but she's supposed to be hot-tempered and not calm/serene at all. A simple reword would suffice, but this is minor and won't hinder you in my approval. ^^
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Astrid Byström
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Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2013, 03:10:05 AM »

Thank you Seh.

I have reworded that part so it makes a bit more sense.
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Many are the words of bravery in times of weal, but few are they whose actions match brave words in times of woe.
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2013, 06:58:20 AM »

 :D  Excellent CD, Astrid.  I believe that the Physical Appearance section here has become one my all time favourites on site.  I very much enjoyed the read.

I do have one problem with the CD, and that is the weapon section.  First is that is I kinda find it a bit hard to imagine a noted shorter person using a double sword technique with longer swords.  If Astrid were described as taller, I would not take issue with this.  But, describing her as shorter, I think it would be very unwieldy.  A shorter sword might be a better fit.  Perhaps the Ephord, or the Helcrani Short Sword, as these would be more available in your area.

The second issue, and the larger one, is that it is an Odomon Blade.  These are rare items that are extremely valued by the Remusians, and are considered heirlooms being passed down through generations.  The Remusians, being somewhat isolationists to begin with, would not allow an Odomon Blade, let alone two of them, escape easily.  "custom made to fit her small grip" is also not possible, as Odomon Swords are no longer being made.  They are named for the man who created them, Odomon, who was forging these swords in the mid to late 1500s.  After his death, no true Odomon could be forged.


Once that is cleared up, I will gladly give this a second approval and title it. :)
« Last Edit: April 14, 2013, 07:07:54 AM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

Favorite Cartoon Quotes
"It was a dark and stormy night."  - Snoopy
"Ack!" - Bill the Cat
"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski." - President Bill Clinton

My Character can be viewed @Angelina Jolie's house.  But knock first, in case I'm in my underwear.
Irid alMenie
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« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2013, 08:22:19 PM »

Hi Astrid!

I've been lurking a bit lately, but I'll try to be a bit more active in the future.

Apart from what Altario said, there was just one thing that caught my attention. She married Rodmar when she was 12? Or at most 13? Her father dies when she's twelve, and the next couple of months she lives alone. Then Rodmar returns and not long after they get married. Is there something in the Kuglimz tribe to suggest they marry that early? Or did I misinterpret something? (I don't have time at the moment to look it up, I have to get back to work :))
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Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.
Irid al'Menie
Astrid Byström
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Human, Kuglimz


« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2013, 11:40:29 PM »

Okay, I have changed her weapons to Helcrani shortswords, I hope this is better. Thanks Alt!

Irid, I was not aware that it would have been that unlikely for a 13-year-old girl to marry, especially when essentially left alone. But if this is the case, I can change it.

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Irid alMenie
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« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2013, 02:43:28 AM »

From what I remember about the Middle Ages, average age to marry was not very young - and I'm now talking about the lower classes, who had more freedom in their choices than higher classes (in arranged marriages, admittedly, there were a lot of young brides of 12 or so, but as far as I can see Astrid is not part of those).

One possibility would be to have him return when she is 13, but have them marry when she's about 16 for example? At that age she would be less like a child and more like a woman. Just a suggestion :)
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Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.
Irid al'Menie
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