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Author Topic: A Wedding in Iron and Steel  (Read 3015 times)
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Laell
Blade-Maiden
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Human, Centoraurian / Eyelian / Erpheronain


« on: August 19, 2013, 04:25:16 PM »

Rough Draft
Synopsis
Twin orphans, a brother and sister from Bardavos, have been making their way north by land, hoping to find a new life. On their way, they met a strange man with a beautiful horse, who became their traveling companion. Eventually, they reach the city of Voldar, to discover their companion is the son of a prominent noble. The young noble has fallen in love with the twin sister and insists she marry him. With much show and considerable effort, convinces her to agree.

The story starts on the proposed wedding day, or possibly the day immediately before. The twins have yet to learn that the would-be groom's father has set a contest for his sons, that the first to marry will inherit his land as well as half the riches, while the other will only receive an inheritance of coin. Unsatisfied with his brother's bride and what he stands to lose, the elder noble brother sets in motion a plot to stop the wedding.

Structure
The story should work out in three acts: (1)Introducing the primary characters and getting the PCs and NPCs familiar with one another, ending with the plot beginning; (2)the plot begins, and the characters work to discover exactly what has happened, to whom, and why; (3)finally, the plot is resolved, the purpose, victims and perpetrator(s) revealed, and the survivors all live happily ever after, or something. Each act could be set in a three-chapter arc, with adjustments made as moderators/players see fit.

Players should work on both sides of the plot; some protagonistically and others antagonistically. Which side would depend entirely on the player's choice or mod's disposition, and staying true to one's character, a player might change sides, though it would be preferable if a powerfully coherent reason could be offered for working in the employ of a corrupt heir before opting to overthrow them might be provided.

There should be two parts to each act, in a group following Twin-Sister and one following Twin-Brother. The groups separate in the first act and rejoining before the conclusion of the third. With this in mind, a separate mod might be preferred to take the part of either twin and the NPCs surrounding them, and possibly a third mod to play as the antagonist, making in all three groups, though members of the third group would be working with/against members of both the protagonist groups at any given time, and would likely have more freedom to travel between groups.

Spoilers
Younger-Noble should die in the first chapter of the second act.
Noble-Father does not approve of the wedding, seeing the girl as not only common, but foreign.

Act/Chapter tentative summaries
Act 1: The Happy Family
Chapter 1: The guests arrive, greet the couple and the noble family, and mingle.
Chapter 2: A hunt is organized by Noble-Father, and most of the guests, including Twin-Brother, go on it. Those who remain behind begin a dance.
Chapter 3: The hunters track a deer, while the Noble-Brothers get into repeated heated arguments.

Act 2: The Plot
Chapter 1: Twin-Sister is locked away, and most of the guests made to feel unwelcome as Elder-Noble takes control of the house in Noble-Father's absence. The hunting party return, but are not allowed to enter the gates.
Chapter 2: The hunting party begins attempting to force entry and deal with guards and soldiery in the courtyard. Noble-Father dies in the conflict, leaving Twin-Brother to organize the offensive. Inside, Twin-Sister has escaped her imprisonment, and begins to make contact with the guests.
Chapter 3: Avoiding guards, Team Twin-Sister begins to unravel the plot against Younger-Noble, who is assassinated(either now or in Ch. 1), while Team Twin-Brother finally forces the outside guard to surrender, and enters the mansion proper.

Act 3: The Resolution
Chapter 1: The two teams reunite, and begin a search of the mansion and grounds for Elder-Noble.
Chapter 2: Elder-Noble is found, and justice dispensed.
Chapter 3: The wedding is cancelled, and the guests disperse.
UPDATE: Tiny bits! Put the horse back in, and changed the location to Voldar, thanks to Rayne's awesome help! CDs to come!
« Last Edit: August 25, 2013, 02:11:22 PM by Laell » Logged

On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Laell
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« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2013, 05:25:20 AM »

Didn't give much of the story very well, but I'm more concerned with the structure right now. Comments, questions, ideas? Is it total crap and I should just step away?

edit: Whoaaaa. Just reviewed the map and Centorauria's waaaay further away than I thought. Changing that bit first.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2013, 05:30:18 AM by Laell » Logged

On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Roy Tmofl
The Mage of Flaming Light
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« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2013, 06:07:13 AM »

I rather like the story and so far as I can see we don't have many active stories going. So to see one pop up when times are getting a bit busier would be a nice change of things.
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Laell
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« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2013, 06:50:39 AM »

I want to change it from Centoraurians. Any idea who would work better?
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On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Isoto
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« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2013, 02:03:48 PM »

This is quite a nice idea, if you are needing another mod Im more than happy to lend a hand :)
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Laell
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« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2013, 03:13:00 PM »

If you have any storyline particulars you think would be awesome, tell me. Mostly, I was hoping you could take the part of the brother, and lead that group.
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On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2013, 03:50:11 PM »

What a lovely story! I'm having a little trouble following the characters. Perhaps it might be good to give them descriptor-names? I assume the twins are boy and girl? Perhaps Orphan-Boy and Orphan-Girl? Younger-Noble and Older-Noble? Just so we keep the characters straight. :)

Typically in Santharia--and particularly in the province of Vardynn, which is more traditional a province than most--marrying outside of rank is generally look down upon. Perhaps these twins are the orphans of a graven? This may add more credence to the marriage.

Traveling out from Bardavos, I wonder why the twins do not head to New Santhala, which is closer and likely has more opportunities for them. Perhaps they believe they may have family in Voldar?

This looks like a story that may require a lot of preparation. Would CDs need to be written for these characters? As a note, it's not required (at least, not in my eyes). If you'd like to run a story with characters that do not have CDs, that's all right with me. :) It is, after all, your story.
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Laell
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« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2013, 06:51:49 AM »

I'll get CDs for the main characters. Have one for Twin-Sister already, 'cause I'm using Laell for the part. The brother will be the brother that shows up in her CD, Traell, and I'll make a full CD for him, and would love it if you or someone involved in CD moderation will give it a once-over for me. I intend on making Elder-Noble an unbalanced character; anyone who would kill their own brother over as silly a thing as an inheritance must be a little off-kilter, but also his strengths and weaknesses, giving the players something more challenging to work with than a balanced character would provide.

Anything I'm forgetting? Oh, yes, the matter of their location. Thank you for the awesome suggestions! I hadn't thought of New Santhala much, but I guess that's because I haven't done enough research. I'll look into the tribe you mentioned and see if I like it better, which I'm certain I will. Already removed the tribe name and the horse from the top post.

Anything else? If I'm forgetting it or you haven't thought of it yet, let me know! I really do like the input; I'm totally new at making stories, even if I've been making characters since ezBoard.
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On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2013, 11:23:06 AM »

I'd be more than happy to look over any CDs you create (assuming I've internet!)! You have a pleasant style of writing, so it's really no trouble at all.  :)  I understand the impetus from Elder-Noble to be unbalanced, and that's perfectly all right with me. I understand that sometimes we need characters who are a little unbalanced to keep things interesting.  ;)

The locations I've mentioned are cities and provinces; if you'd like to make it a tribe, I would suggest one like the Erpheronians. However, I might discourage making your location tribe-specific. The Kingdom of Santharia is organized into provinces (ever since King Santhros came to the throne and finally united the tribes to the south into kingdom already established by King Thar). Many of the tribes have intermingled and many tribe members have moved quite far from where their ancestors lived.

My suggestion would be to place your story in or around one of the major cities in Santharia; I had suggested Voldar because it is relatively close to the 'traditional' Centoraurian territory (a territory that has fluxed and changed throughout history, particularly in historical relationships with the Kyranians to the south, Erpheronians to the north, and even Caltharians to the east). Voldar is also the site of the old capital (the capital of King Thar; it was moved to New Santhala as part of the negotiations between Santhros and the Eyelians to convince them to join the kingdom). New Santhala is the capital and largest city, but Voldar is quite large--and very old/historical as well.

Where you would like to set your story is, of course, your choice--you have the best notion of what your story will be like. I'm just here to provide information and suggestions.  :) That being said, if you have any questions or would like any clarification, let me know. I'm more than happy to assist.  :)
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Laell
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« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2013, 02:13:07 PM »

I'm going with your suggestion of Voldar for three reasons: Research is hard, my head hurts, and I'm pretty sure you know Santh well enough to know a good venue when you see one. Also, the horse went back in; he can stay Centoraurian, but I think the tribe, like you mentioned, isn't the most important part of the story, or even the characters.
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On one hand, they claim that it is the result, not the effort given, that will imprint one forever in history; but on the other, is it not the form of the art, rather than the function, that defines its true beauty?
Seh'nara Celebrindal
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« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2013, 09:33:06 PM »

I would love to play in this. :D I actually have a twins CD so they could be twin friends or something.

If you don't want to write a full CD you can just have a writeup in a thread like most of the stories around.
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Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2013, 11:18:53 PM »

Quote
I'm going with your suggestion of Voldar for three reasons: Research is hard, my head hurts, and I'm pretty sure you know Santh well enough to know a good venue when you see one.

Haha! Well, in the spirit of full disclosure, Vardynn is my region of interest on the development side.  Roll Eyes I'm delighted to see a story set in Voldar, the provincial capital.

The story looks like fun! Please let me know if there's anything I can assist you with. :)
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Capher
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Dragon


« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2013, 11:32:22 AM »

Interesting story. It is not your typical  boy loves girl , marries and everyone lives happily ever after  there will be sorrow and pain. The only question I have is: What is the motivation of the guests?  In other words I will assume that that for most it will be to congratulate the couple, however I am sure there will be guests who see this wedding from the Elders point of view, from the Youngers point of view, from the Fathers point of view, those who care less, and then those who object just because of the mixing of Noble blood with a commoner

All in all I like the story. If we can get others to play I would love to play the father and one or two Npc's or guests one that  is a staunch friend of the father, but disapproves the wedding because of the mingling of blood. And another one who could care less but came for the drink and food, but is caught up in the turmoil.

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