Roleplay thread: The Party of Baron Vondrau

In an attempt to stimulate some life here (or at least, get people who are lurking around roleplaying in something), here's a little something. Since I am too lazy to do any research whatsoever, this story takes place wherever, whenever, and is of course, strictly non-canon. No need to be a titled character to join, and don't be afraid to go hog-wild (within reason). And you may find that the Baron's castle operates on rules a little different from normal reality...

On a cliff overlooking the sea...

No, no, in the iceblown wastes....

Ah, wait, perhaps deep in an overgrown and ancient forest...

Or maybe in the middle of town, who can say?

Somewhere, sometime, somehow, there is a castle. It is large and intimidating, twisted and confusing, and its towers of dark stone cast a permanent gloom over its surroundings. Along the main road to its gates are sickly plants, trees stretching with limbs bare to the sky no matter the season. The gardens are overgrown with brambles and thorns, and if you listen closely, you can hear the shuffling of strange creatures, howls and moans and screams. Yes, this is the castle of Baron Vondrau, a deeply disturbing man, who seems to have neither friends nor enemies, for he is too unpleasant for either. No-one approaches his home unless they truly have to, and in this day and age, it seems that - alas! - nobody does.

And the Baron is deeply unhappy. For once, Baron Vondrau did not have the reputation of being a grouch. Yes, long ago his lands were beautiful and inviting, and he himself was a jolly man, liked by all. However, something changed, and both he and his home were slowly twisted and warped into what they are today. But today is a special day. For Baron Vondrau, in his loneliness, happened to chance upon a letter from those days of yore, and that letter lit a spark. It was an invitation to a party, long-forgotten in the dust and decay. And that spark refused to go out, despite his crushing loneliness. As the baron stared out from his towers over the gloomy landscape, he thought to himself, 'Why can't I change something?' And then the letter came back into his mind, and something clicked. He rushed down the stairs, past the ancient portraits covered in cobwebs and tapestries never dusted, down the worn and winding steps, through the rusted armories and abandoned halls, and finally to the kitchens where his one servant, an ancient and venerable cook of indeterminate race or gender, and shouted with glee:

"A party! I'll host a party!"

He opened up the grand dining hall, which had sat unused for decades, and began the preparations. Great tables were rolled out, with chairs scrounged from the empty rooms to fill the place up. Plates and cups were washed all at once from their grime in a big tub and set out on a patchwork tablecloth, sewn from the brightest pieces of the tattered scraps. Candles, oil lamps, braziers, and fireplaces were lit to give the drafty room a warm and welcoming appeal. The kitchens were opened up, and amazingly, Cook's skills rapidly transformed. Where before the only food to come out of that pit was a thin stew, suddenly a huge feast found its way to the banquet hall. Turkeys, roast beef and pork, salads of all types, cauldrons of soup, loaves of fresh bread, seafood so fresh it could jump, barrels of wine and mead and beer and liquor, cordials and juices and clear spring water, fruit piled high and all manner of deserts streamed from the ancient one's abode. Soon, the table was set, and the feast was ready.

And Baron Vondrau waited.

Mallorix stood at the castle gates rather confused. See, he had been rather lost ever since he fell down a well behind the Thirsty Herald and lost his horse (embarrassing story, that one), and his rather meager share of the piratical loot from his time under Cap'n Kattaisson (they never did find Jovloff's gold, despite much searching) had, in the course of time, run out. In other words, he was broke. And tired. And hungry. And even though this castle looked like the last place he wanted to be at that moment, his well-developed peasant-boy's nose (the endowment of any growing young man) detected a delectable delicacy wafting on the air. His stomach grumbled, and despite himself, he knocked on the gnarled wooden door.

With a creaking groan, it opened to reveal a contradictory scene. A decaying entrance hall greeted him, with no semblance of life in its dust-covered corners, and yet, just farther in was the warm glow and enticing smell of dinner. Mallorix looked around, seeing nobody, and took a step in. Nothing moved. No monsters jumping out to eat him... Just nothing. He took another, and the spell was broken. He almost ran down to the banquet-hall door and burst in to see the dream of a lifetime. Food piled up to the ceiling. He was in heaven. Grabbing a plate, he shoved as much as he could onto it and then sat down.

Only then did he notice Baron Vondrau. The old man's appearance was rather horrifying - he looked less alive than the castle, a thin skeleton-like man. Mal almost dropped his plate as the host turned towards him. But at that moment something changed. Instead of a skeleton, he saw a tired, worn-out man in shabby but once-fine clothing. The baron's face twitched, and twisted into a difficult smile. In a thin voice, he said,

"Ah, my first guest. Come, take a seat."

So Mallorix did, still keeping a little distance from the man.

"It's been so long since I've had guests here. Tell me, was the journey difficult?"

Mallorix carefully put down his plate and mumbled something.

"Oh, you must be hungry. Please, help yourself."

At that, the young man took a small hunk of bread and started nibbling on it, carefully tasting the starch. It was delicious (of course!), but he still ate it cautiously. Satisfied that his guest was at least somewhat partaking of the feast, the baron slumped back into his chair, swirling a glass of pale wine in his right hand. Mal kept nibbling, hoping that as long as his mouth was occupied the old man wouldn't speak to him any more.

That's all for now! Feel free to jump in from anywhere at any moment. And if I ever disappear, well, Baron Vondrau and Cook are part of the castle and you can use them however you like. No need to wait for me, you can put words in their mouth and make them do anything (so long as it's board-appropriate )