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Author Topic: Chorakee, Tree Fowl (hmmm.. tastes like chicken!)  (Read 6669 times)
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Ralhag Silverskin
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« Reply #15 on: 24 October 2006, 00:04:29 »

Interesting! :)

Ralhag
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #16 on: 24 October 2006, 06:33:52 »

I haven't read the whole entry yet, but wouldn't just having solely down prove to be a problem, especially in the rainforests of Nyblemar.  The waterproof feathers are generally used to keep water out, insulating the bird and preventing death by hypothermia and other nasty water conditions.  Maybe if you add some adapation to remove this inconistency.  Could the skin possibly be waterproof?  Or an oily substance excreeted upon the feathers themself.
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #17 on: 25 October 2006, 00:37:53 »

Down, although looking a bit messy when wet, is nice and waterproof. Do keep in mind that this is an adultbird, with fully grown down. the itty bitty feathers chicks are born with are not so, and are simply not big enough to keep water out.

the bird will get a bit soaked when it rains, but that does not matter as much as it would with other birds,because they don't need to be light enough to fly.

(and feathers are technically not waterproof.. ducks and the like use aforementioned oilysubstance to keep themselvesdry)
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #18 on: 31 October 2006, 10:49:56 »

 
Quote
and a holding pen for these birds makes a valuable addition to every settlement or farm.
 

This sentence sounds awkward and is misleading.  It sounds as though the pen itself is valuable, not its contents.

Quote
The legs are incredibly strong when compared to those of the common Taenish, with almost twice the amount of muscle, and special tendons connecting the upper leg with the knee joint, that produce an effect similar to a catapult when the Chorakee jumps.

This sounds incredibly scientific to me.  While the detail provided here is nice, try to make it a bit more midieval.

A suggestion about your whole bred in captivity thing.  You mention pens and I was wondering if you would mind providing a bit of detail about them.  They must be truly extrodinary and unique considering the various abilities of the birds otherwise they would escape.  While I don't think its deserving of its own entry, I think a small paragraph in which you describe the unique design the cage would have to be to contain the domesticated birds and the struggles of the farmers to contain birds that can jump over most fences.  Also, is there any difference in behavior between the domesticated birds and those in the wild?  I would think so.  Finally, how did the farmers capture these birds.  If they die upon impact if they hit the ground, considering the hieght of the trees and the rarity of this happening, how did the farmers manage to get some of these birds alive seeing as catching one by normal means is practically impossible.

Thats all I could find.  So just make these edits, colour them, bell ring me and I'll put up an arrow for you!  Another job well done Mira.
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #19 on: 01 November 2006, 05:55:57 »

before editing anything, myreasoning behindwhy things are as they are...

The holding pen DOES make a valuable addition to a village or farm. its a figure of speech, and thus not related to a concrete amount of coin. Even taking the sentence litterary, it makes sense, since it is the reason you're able to bred the Chorakee at all.

The Chorakee are bred like Taenish.. it is therefor only logical to assume they have the same general history as the taenish, or any other farm animal.. i'm not adding anything here, since it would just be boring information.

I have described the special holding pen as used by the Ter'ei'Vikh.. the Outlandish holding pens are, as stated in the text, constructed like common Taenish pens. (which have a roof, since Taenish can well,not fly, but flutter a bit anyway. A Chorakee is not going to jump through the roof of anything :P)

editing; Behaviour in captivity, scientific description.
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Alyyse the Likely
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« Reply #20 on: 10 November 2006, 11:51:18 »

Re: downy feathers--then their "wings" would resemble those of the kiwi or the penguin (neither of which can fly) rather than that of the chicken?  In other words, almost more like flippers?  You might want to elaborate on this a little, since I don't think Caelereth has many (if ANY) other flightless birds.

This is a great entry, BTW, I think ii's really interesting. Congrats to you, Mira, and I look forwards to reading more of your stuff!

Alysse
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Alysse the Likely
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« Reply #21 on: 10 November 2006, 11:53:34 »

Re: downy feathers--then their "wings" would resemble those of the kiwi or the penguin (neither of which can fly) rather than that of the chicken?  In other words, almost more like flippers?  You might want to elaborate on this a little, since I don't think Caelereth has many (if ANY) other flightless birds.

This is a great entry, BTW, I think ii's really interesting. Congrats to you, Mira, and I look forwards to reading more of your stuff!

Alysse

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Alysse the Likely
Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #22 on: 11 November 2006, 20:48:53 »

Actually, Caelereth has loads of flightless birds.. somewhere in the 15-25% of all birds even..
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Alysse the Likely
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« Reply #23 on: 12 November 2006, 00:21:27 »

Okay,  I just looked and  there are a couple, but not many true flightless birds.  In any case, what I'm getting at is that I can't picture these wings very well--do they look like the penguin's flippers, or like ordinary brid wings without flight feathers, or what?  How big are they in proportion to the bird?  Just a bit more description here is all we really need.
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Alysse the Likely
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« Reply #24 on: 12 November 2006, 02:33:23 »

..as the description sais, they are like that of the Taenish.. or maybe it just implies that, im not sure..but constant litteraly referring to a standard species gets realy boring to read. thei're just normal wings, attached to a bird thats to heavy to fly.
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #25 on: 12 November 2006, 05:04:31 »

verry verry minor edit made on the wings, hope this clarifies that they cant, wont, shant be flying...

all done as far as i'm concerned..
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
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