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Author Topic: Akiris Akai, Archmage.  (Read 7553 times)
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« on: 15 July 2008, 03:09:00 »

Akiris Akai, Krean Archmage.

(painting by Sheil)

Overview
[...]


Appearance & Physical Constitution
Akiris Akai, in her youth, commanded a pleasant figure, a ped and somewhere between seven to eight palmspans in height, and a proud, solemn deportment, from which an expectation of immediate obedience diffused itself. Throughout her life the Archmage had a penchant for striking headgear and hid the unsightly birthmark around her eyes by means of equally prominent visors. Whatever vanity and elegancies of social intercourse she lacked, an austere grace supplied; and with a calmer asperity of movement – direct, decisive and swift – must have swung the balance of appropriation in her favour.

Humidity and excessive heat never agreed with her constitution. From an early age, she preferred the colder air of the mountains. As an archmage, Akai kept her chambers and the halls of Cloudpierce, the Tower of Mages of the capitol Rhaasthar, at a temperature most of her colleagues found – uncomfortable. Indeed, a wit once remarked that among the throngs of students at Cloudpierce her pupils could be identified from the thickness of their garbs... Among her tutees, Archmage Akiris was renowned as something of a fresh air fiend: In winter months, she insisted on holding all her classes on the highest terrace of Cloudpierce - the highest tower situated upon the highest hill in Rhaasthar - where the air was sufficiently cool to suit her constitution without constant manipulation.

Once, in the early years of her new role, the young Archmage had been told off by the Governor of Rhaasthar that her hair was too short, her manners too abrupt, her style too strong, concise & confrontational and not diffuse enough for a woman. Akiris Akai may not have had the gift of handsomely talking inconvenient issues over and getting them smoothly out of the way, but once she meant to be no further incommoded by a troublesome topic she did have her own, inimitable way of bringing that about: For the rest of her life, she wore her hair almost ankle-length, making his suggestion and her own hair conduce to the display of his absurdity.

That all her portraits should, without exception, depict the Archmage with an extraordinarily pale complexion is curious: She was Krean (that is, she was of mixed Lillivear and Aesteran blood); so, she would not have used her skin tone to signify an Aesteran heritage. Neither did she have any known aversion to the sun; indeed, she liked to spend a lot of her spare time out of doors. Nor, to the best of our knowledge, was she afflicted by any wasting illness. An anecdote related by Emperor Dearan, though of dubious veracity1, may shed some light on this incongruity: At the time, it was an assumption rather universally made that every Krean woman possessed of a vast fortune, a strong mind and an aptitude for the arcane must be in want of and destined to a life in the Temple of Ankriss. Thus it is said that when Akiris’s talent began to manifest itself, a very senior priestess paid a visit to the family home to personally secure her procurement for the Temple. When Akiris’s parents assured the priestess that “Akiris may talk sentimentally, but she will act rationally”, they could scarcely have envisaged the young Akiris, nine years of age, striding up to the priestess and admonishing her that: “Oh, to be sure, it is always incomprehensible to a Priestess of Ankriss that a girl should ever refuse an offer of priesthood. A priestess always imagines a girl to be ready for the Temple whenever they ask for her!” Therefore, perhaps Akiris Akai kept her complexion so unnaturally pale not to distinguish herself as of Aesteran descent, but to make the point that a woman, whatever her bloodline, had the right to choose the secular, Aesteran way of magic.

1 The story is mentioned by Emperor Dearan in a moment of exasperation in one of his (not infrequent) quarrels with emissaries from the Temple of Ankriss. No previous record of the episode exists.

Later on in life, she became a formidable style of lady, with spectacles, a hawklike nose, and a loud voice, who had the effect of wanting a great deal of room. And she really did, for she knocked down little chairs and vases with her robes that were quite a great way off. Akiris’s problems with her vision began at an early stage, upon her entry into womanhood; and when her eyesight declined later on, pairs upon pairs of glasses, crafted into the form of her visors, had to be imported from the Sartheran Elves. 


Personality
Her passion was for the arcane only, and in that she was insatiable. She believed in logic & the value of experimentation in arriving at the truth. Possessed of a firmness of purpose in the pursuit of this one overriding goal, she strode into meetings like cold weather, making her colleagues blue as they followed.

The Archmage had a piercing intellect, arriving at the heart of an issue like a marksman’s arrow. Logical, terse, her verbal communication was characterised by brevity of speech. At her most enthused, her discourse could be sententious: terse and energetic in expression and abounding in aphorisms. Annoyed, her ultimatums could be elliptic; omitting all superfluous elements but full of dark hints.

All our records show that even as a young girl Akai had always been confident in her ability to lead – or perhaps it is more accurate to say that she had never been able to envisage a state of affairs contrary to her will. Akiris was inexperienced in - and not at all predisposed to -the art of adapting her mind to minds very differently situated, and addressing them from suitable points of view. Instead, the Archmage spoke with great volubility; always directing in the same, significant, hard, forceful tone so that her voice impressed one’s fancy as if it too had a sort of spectacles on.

Akiris Akai supposed all her dependents to be utterly bereft of individual characters, intentions or opinions, and was persuaded that she was born to supersede the necessity of their having any. Vitrois, the great satirist of the age, once wrote that were the Archmage to make a discovery to the contrary, she would be simply stunned – would never recover herself, most likely, except to gasp and die.

Industrious, possessed of phenomenal energy, she was up at five – very possibly every morning of her life – and seldom did she rest before the day was a bell’s ring away from midnight. When the Supreme Court stalled giving a ruling on whether mages could be excepted from the Krean Civil Code and instead be tried in separate courts subject to a code of their own, like Administrative Law for public servants, she laid siege to the office of the Lord Chief Justice, and meeting him on his way to work, told him to stop delaying judgement and that, frankly, “I am incapable of fatigue, never tired, and I mean to go on until I am done.” The proceedings, thereafter, were duly expedited.

Akai had an iron-bound sense of discipline and demanded absolute adherence to forms and rules, especially those laid down by herself. But it was not only towards her pupils and the Lord Chief Justice that she was a martinet; not once in her long life did she exempt herself from the same degree of exactitude. Yet, for all her high-handed headship, she did instruct her pupils to “carry through a resolution to do right against the will of others” and that “As he matures and becomes rational, a Krean ought to rouse himself, and shake off all that is unworthy in the authority of those he looks up to.”


Biography
Akiris Akai’s Formative Years (3221-3203 BS): Akiris begins to display an aptitude for magic from a very early age. Pro Vice Chancellor Arthar of the Academy of Rhaasthar, a close family friend, persuades her parents to enrol Akiris in one of the secular academies in Rhaasthar at the age of six, several years in advance of other pupils. In addition to an outstanding general education in one of the best schools of the Twin Kingdom, Akiris gets the opportunity to study under some of the brightest arcane minds of the time. She soon proves to be an exceptional student with the potential to become a mage of the highest calibre. She completes an education which usually takes three decades in under twelve years, graduating in the spring of 3203 BS.

Pupil to the Archmage (3203-3201 BS): Arthar, who by this time has become Archmage, takes Akiris as his personal tutee. Meanwhile, the thirty year war between the Evaqius and the Krean over trade in the Peninsula continues. The Krean High Queen, Rezar, imposes a further embargo on the Evaquis Queendom to neutralise them before the Krean monopoly on trade is compromised.

Akiris Akai’s First Wartime Assignment (3201 BS): Akiris, along with recruits from other Academies, accompanies the newly created Nightshimmer Legions. The Krean plan to prevent naval trade between the Sharosar, Qualaris and Evaquis from taking root. The Sharosar forces suffer a humiliating defeat in a battle in which Akai plays a prominent role; the regiment succeeds in stopping the flow of much-needed supplies to the Evaquis Queendom. In order to focus on the greater threat posed by Krath assaults, Sharosar is forced to cease its alliance with the Evaquis.



Importance
[...]

« Last Edit: 09 February 2009, 04:07:55 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: 15 July 2008, 03:13:24 »

Quote
Akiris Akai stood a ped and somewhere between seven to eight peds in height
Um...either you got a unit wrong somewhere, or she's really tall. 
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #2 on: 15 July 2008, 03:14:34 »

Ah! Thanks for spotting that. I meant "a ped and somewhere between seven to eight PALMSPANS in height"!
« Last Edit: 15 July 2008, 03:18:55 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #3 on: 15 July 2008, 03:28:14 »

Finishing a picture I promised to integrate a very long time ago, inspired by Trehstahl's submissions. I realized that this entry was a prerequisite for Rezar (the other picture I reserved, entitled "july") so here we go. Hopefully, I will be able to complete this before I leave for my second vacation internship and Rezar after I come back in August. :)

I do hope you find the entry enjoyable. Let me know what you think!
« Last Edit: 15 July 2008, 03:29:54 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #4 on: 15 July 2008, 05:12:25 »

Overview
[...]


Appearance
Akiris Akai stood a ped and somewhere between seven to eight palmspans in height and in her youth had a pleasant form from which a great deal of solemnity diffused itself. These two ideas don't seem related- break them up into separate sentences.Throughout her life she had a penchant for striking headgear and in order to, rather then and hid the unsightly birthmark around her eyes by means of visors of equal prominence, or equally prominent visors. Akiris’s problems with her vision began at quite an early stage, upon her entry into womanhood, and when her eyesight declined later on, pairs upon pairs of glasses, crafted into the form of her visors, had to be imported from the Sartheran Elves.

Humidity and excessive heat never agreed with her constitution. From an early age, she preferred the colder air of the mountains. As an archmage, Akai kept her chambers and the halls of Cloudpierce, the Tower of Mages of at the capitol Rhaasthar, at a temperature most of her colleagues found –the hyphen's not really nessecary here uncomfortable. Indeed, her pupils could be identified among the throngs of students at Cloudpierce from the thickness of their garbs...ha! nice... In turn, among her pupils, Archmage Akiris was renowned as something of fresh air fiend: In winter months, she insisted on holding all her classes on the highest terrace of Cloudpierce, the highest tower situated upon the highest hill in Rhaasthar, where the air was sufficiently cool without constant manipulation on her part. You might want to mention the means of her :magical air conditioning" here.

Later on in life, she became a very formidable style of lady, with spectacles, a hawklike hawkish nose, and a loud voice, probably make a new sentence here.who had the effect of wanting a great deal of room. And she really did, for she knocked down little chairs and vases with her robes that were quite a great way off. She strode into meetings like cold weather, making her colleagues blue as they followed.


Personality
Her passion was for the arcane only, and in that she was insatiable. She believed in logic & the value of experimentation in arriving at the truth. She was driven and possessed of a firmness of purpose in pursuit of that one overriding goal.

All our records show that even as a young girl Akai had always been confident in her ability to lead – or perhaps it is more accurate to say that she was unable to envisage a state of affairs to the contrary. Akiris was inexperienced in and not at all predisposed to the art of adapting her mind to minds very differently situated, and addressing them from suitable points of view. Instead the Archmage spoke with great volubility, always directing in the same significant, hard, forceful tone so that her voice impressed one’s fancy as if it had a sort of spectacles on too. Nice imagery here... erm... soundagery?

Akiris Akai supposed all her dependents to be utterly bereft of individual characters, intentions or opinions, and was persuaded that she was born to supersede the necessity of their having any. Vitrois, the great satirist of the age, once wrote that were the Archmage to make a discovery to the contrary, she would be simply stunned – would never recover herself, most likely, except to gasp and die.

Industrious, possessed of phenomenal energy, she was up at five – very possibly every morning of her life – and seldom did she rest before the day was a bell’s ring away from midnight. When the Supreme Court stalled giving a ruling on whether mages could be excepted from the Krean Civil Code and instead be tried in separate courts and made subject to a code of their own, like Administrative Law for public servants, she laid siege to the office of the Lord Chief Justice, and meeting him on his way to work, told him to stop delaying judgment and that, frankly, “I am incapable of fatigue, never tired, and I mean to go on until I am done.” The proceedings, thereafter, were duly expedited.
Nice anecdote- what was the final result?
Akai had a strong sense of discipline and demanded absolute adherence to forms and rules, especially those laid down by herself. But it was not only against her pupils and the Lord Chief Justice that she was a martinet, not exempting herself from the same degree of exactitude.

The Archmage had a piercing intellect, arriving at the heart of an issue like a marksman’s arrow. Logical, terse, her verbal communication was characterized by brevity of speech. At her most enthused, her discourse could be sententious; terse and energetic in expression and abounding in aphorisms. Annoyed, her ultimatums could be elliptic; omitting any superfluous elements but full of dark hints.
Excellent vocabulary here! A linguistic odyssey, to be sure.


Biography
[...]


Importance
[...]

Very nice entry- I love the picture, and I'm intrigued to see what becomes of the final version. Good luck!
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Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
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« Reply #5 on: 15 July 2008, 05:52:51 »

Thank you Nsiki for taking the time to go through the entry! I am glad you liked it!

I do not, however, agree with some of the alterations you suggested. I post my comments in lime, below:


Overview
[...]


Appearance
Akiris Akai stood a ped and somewhere between seven to eight palmspans in height and in her youth had a pleasant form from which a great deal of solemnity diffused itself. These two ideas don't seem related- break them up into separate sentences. They both pertain to her figure.
Throughout her life she had a penchant for striking headgear and in order to, rather then and I am a bit confused about the edit you are proposing here. What was wrong with the original sentence? She had a penchant for (...) head gear and (she) hid the unsightly birthmark around her eyes by means of visors"

(...) Akiris’s problems with her vision began at quite an early stage Again "stage" seems to fine to me, I just omit the words "of her life" after "stage", upon her entry into womanhood, and when her eyesight declined later on, pairs upon pairs of glasses, crafted into the form of her visors, had to be imported from the Sartheran Elves.

Humidity and excessive heat never agreed with her constitution. From an early age, she preferred the colder air of the mountains. As an archmage, Akai kept her chambers and the halls of Cloudpierce, the Tower of Mages of at Tower of Mages is a generic term for a particular type of place, like for example "University". "University of Edinburgh" vs "University at Edinburgh"


the capitol Rhaasthar, at a temperature most of her colleagues found –the hyphen's not really nessecary here I agree that the use of the hyphen is not technically correct, but even Dickens uses it frequently to convey the narrator pausing, in search of a more diplomatic word.uncomfortable. Indeed, her pupils could be identified among the throngs of students at Cloudpierce from the thickness of their garbs...ha! nice... In turn, among her pupils, Archmage Akiris was renowned as something of fresh air fiend: In winter months, she insisted on holding all her classes on the highest terrace of Cloudpierce, the highest tower situated upon the highest hill in Rhaasthar, where the air was sufficiently cool without constant manipulation on her part. You might want to mention the means of her :magical air conditioning" here. [color]Good point, but I don't think the Appearance section is the correct place for that. It will be mentioned under Important Achievements.[/color]

Later on in life, she became a very formidable style of lady, with spectacles, a hawklike hawkish nose, and a loud voice, probably make a new sentence here.who had the effect of wanting a great deal of room. And she really did, for she knocked down little chairs and vases with her robes that were quite a great way off. She strode into meetings like cold weather, making her colleagues blue as they followed.

Coren: (1) Re "she became a formidable style of lady": I am pretty sure I came across similar turns of phrase in Jane Austen. But I read a lot of nineteenth century commercial cases so it may be that my English has become archaic as a result. (2) hawklike: http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-definitions/hawklike


Personality
Her passion was for the arcane only, and in that she was insatiable. She believed in logic & the value of experimentation in arriving at the truth. She was driven and possessed of a firmness of purpose in pursuit of that one overriding goal.

All our records show that even as a young girl Akai had always been confident in her ability to lead – or perhaps it is more accurate to say that she was unable to envisage a state of affairs to the contrary. Akiris was inexperienced in and not at all predisposed to the art of adapting her mind to minds very differently situated, and addressing them from suitable points of view. Instead the Archmage spoke with great volubility, always directing in the same significant, hard, forceful tone so that her voice impressed one’s fancy as if it had a sort of spectacles on too. Nice imagery here... erm... soundagery?

Akiris Akai supposed all her dependents to be utterly bereft of individual characters, intentions or opinions, and was persuaded that she was born to supersede the necessity of their having any. Vitrois, the great satirist of the age, once wrote that were the Archmage to make a discovery to the contrary, she would be simply stunned – would never recover herself, most likely, except to gasp and die.

Industrious, possessed of phenomenal energy, she was up at five – very possibly every morning of her life – and seldom did she rest before the day was a bell’s ring away from midnight. When the Supreme Court stalled giving a ruling on whether mages could be excepted from the Krean Civil Code and instead be tried in separate courts and made subject to a code of their own, like Administrative Law for public servants, she laid siege to the office of the Lord Chief Justice, and meeting him on his way to work, told him to stop delaying judgment Ah, caught red-handed! I always have the same quarrel with my Land Law tutor. He insists that I use "judgment" for the ruling of a court and "judgement" to denote the ability to make a wise decision and accuses me of insufficient rigour. I kindly point out that he is being too pedantic and that the Extended Oxford Dictionary of English expressly lists each to be an acceptable variant of the other, with the distinction having collapsed at the beginning of the twenty-first century. But again, we also debate the rather controversial pronunciation of "controversy"...


and that, frankly, “I am incapable of fatigue, never tired, and I mean to go on until I am done.” The proceedings, thereafter, were duly expedited.
Nice anecdote- what was the final result? Read below! ;)
Akai had a strong sense of discipline and demanded absolute adherence to forms and rules, especially those laid down by herself. But it was not only against her pupils and the Lord Chief Justice that she was a martinet, not exempting herself from the same degree of exactitude.

characterise vs characterize: Both are acceptable. I think "characterize" is the American spelling?


Thanks again for reading the entry! :)
« Last Edit: 15 July 2008, 15:12:49 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

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"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #6 on: 15 July 2008, 10:52:07 »

Yup, no problem. I think most of my edits are based on your more archaic style of English- in retrospect, not a bad idea for our setting, though it doesn't flow as smoothly to a native English speaker. But still, an intriguing entry, I'll try to keep my comments more on content then style from now on.
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« Reply #7 on: 15 July 2008, 16:31:45 »

Did you draw that Coren shocked  Wow!
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« Reply #8 on: 15 July 2008, 16:51:11 »

No he didn't....he reserved someone elses work....
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« Reply #9 on: 15 July 2008, 16:52:48 »

Oh for goodness's sake no! I cannot appropriate such a great piece of art to my name. It is Sheil's "Darshana", a picture I reserved and proposed to integrate into an entry a very long time ago. Sorry for the confusion!
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #10 on: 15 July 2008, 16:53:14 »

Ah, I see Decipher was the faster typist :)
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #11 on: 15 July 2008, 16:54:42 »

Oh.  Oops
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« Reply #12 on: 15 July 2008, 16:56:36 »


Akiris Akai supposed all her dependents to be utterly bereft of individual characters, intentions or opinions, and was persuaded that she was born to supersede the necessity of their having any. Vitrois, the great satirist of the age, once wrote that were the Archmage to make a discovery to the contrary, she would be simply stunned – would never recover herself, most likely, except to gasp and die.


Hmmm.....This sounds familiar.....
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« Reply #13 on: 15 July 2008, 17:08:12 »

It seems to be a common trait among mages! Akiris Akai, Magnus Maas errrr... Got caught red-handed again - I was too proud of the description to not recycle it
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"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
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« Reply #14 on: 15 July 2008, 17:10:31 »

Two will suffice Coren!

One more reference and this will be taking further to the 'Lack of Originality' council!!!!
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