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Ishana Lachora
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« on: 09 October 2008, 04:35:23 »

Trag
Trag is a small, omnivorous type of deer found in most of the Sarvonia. It is best known by its amazing ability to use lightning powers. Throughout Sarvonia there are several different species of Trags. They are specie that is very sensitive to environment changes and human impact.

Categorization:

Animals, Wild, Deer

Appearance:
The Trag is a small animal with a maximal height of three handspans in torso and four in head. There are also smaller types but the size of an animal is never less than one handspan. Usually they are half a ped long and weight about 2.5 ods.
Bone structure is similar both to deer and rats. Its limbs' bones are long and elastic what enables them to quickly run away from predators. Their back legs are very muscular and thin, what in combination with their bone structure makes them very fast. They have elastic spine and short tail that enables them easier turning while running. Front legs are of the same length as back ones, but they are not so muscular. They are quadrupeds and they usually use their strong back feet to run and front ones to keep balance while running and walking.

Its skull has bone structure similar to rats. Males' fangs in upper jar are bigger than usual size (they are almost three nailsbreadth long), so when jaws are closed they are still visible. There is no fur on its snout and around the eyes, which are small and black; nose is small, wet and placed at the top of the long snout. They have poor hearing but make that up with very good sight and smell. Their ears are small and placed wide on top of the head. Between ears there are two horns. Horns are straight and dull, going almost horizontal from between the ears. Males' horns are a bit longer (five nailsbreadths) than females'(three nailsbreadths). Each horn ends with a cavity filled with liquid. It is not known for sure but is assumed that something about that part of their body is important for their electric ability.
Its body is covered with a tick, long fur that is very harsh and rough to touch. The fur itself is resistant on electricity so Trag can't hurt itself. The fur is rich colored, with colors that depend on specie, with many patterns on it (stripes and spots) which helps them to be less visible.

Main species of Trag are:


Trag/Grass Trag:
It is most common of all the Trags. It is found in grasslands and plains. Grass Trags are the biggest specie of Trags; they are usually three handspams high and half a ped long with weight over three ods. Their fur is very long, and usually it is colored with such colors so that it can be hardly seen in high grass even in daylight. Main colors of it are shades of brown and yellow with some parts of orange. They are territorial and monogamous specie, so they usually spend their whole life on the same territory with the same partner.

Desert Trag:

It is considered to be pretty rare; it is found mainly in semi-arid areas. It is medium sized (two and a half handspans in height, four handspans long and two and a half ods weight). Because of the hot climate its fur is shorter than other species’. Fur’s color is light brown with spots of yellow all over its back and with lighter (almost white) area on the belly size. Because of their hard life and an abundance of large quantities of food they are very aggressive and will often attack anyone around them if they feel that they are threaten by them. They are known for their frequent use of electricity in form of electric bolts or other powerful charges for no apparent reason. They are very territorial and solitary animals that come together just to mate.

Forest Trag:
This specie of Trag is found only in thick forests. It is the smallest Trag specie with height just over a handspan and a half, two and a half handspan in length and less than 2 ods weight. Their small size helps them in running and maneuvering through thick forests and small openings between ground and bushes on the forest floor.
Its fur is dark black and often it is partially covered with green plants that grow on their fur. Because of color of their fur and their small size it is very hard to spot them in forest shadows so they are not seen very often. Because of their great senses they are very hard to find although they live in big colonies.

Water Trag:
The Water Trag is very rare specie of Trag, it is rarely seen so today it is believed that it is extinct in most of the Sarvonia. They are about the same size like the Desert Trag specie. What makes them different from other Trags is their fur that is very short and covered with layer of vax that protects them from getting wet. Also, their horns are slightly bigger. Wet Trag is the only specie of Trag that likes water and can even swim very much, even long distances, and hunt fish. Little is known about its social life and mating habits, it is assumed that it is solitary animal. Water Trag specie is extremely sensitive to environmental changes and human impact. Human impact and development made their habitats endangered so their disappeared from most of it.

Special abilities:
Its most known ability is fascinating skill to manipulate electricity. The theory goes like this: they collect electricity in a process that involves their fur. Electricity can then be released from its horns in a form of electric field that spreads around it in all directions like a sphere. Older animals can even direct most of its power to specific directions as bolts of electricity, but they can't actually aim targets accurately. When in herd animals can use such a field of electricity to deflect arrows and missiles fired at them for a short time. When many Trags are together their electric powers grows and they can use their ability to create single, bigger sphere around the entire pack. The process of producing charges is not yet fully investigated, but some noticed that changes in diet, living environment and stress can reduce their powers.
Electric field has enough power to fry insects and smaller animals (such as reptiles, small mammals, etc.). Herds can stun bigger animals or cause them a feeling of pain and discomfort. Trags normally use it for hunting food. When attacked they will use the field to make a short diversion and then flee. Rarely, bigger Trags will stay and attack their predator.
Usually it takes around four hours to recharge its powers, and when in full power they can produce electricity for only a couple of seconds, with thirty seconds max when in packs.

Territory:
Trags are common specie in Sarvonia and they are found in most Sarvonia south of Gulf of Oh'Cant'aelwyn. They are not found on higher mountains, harsh deserts or close to permanent human habitats.
Originally, Trags were not present on other continents but there have been number of seeing outside of Sarvonia, mostly on the continent of Nybelmar and islands around it. Some believe that smugglers and sailors took some Trags for food or some animals entered the ships and finished there. Another theory states that this specie on Nybelmar is totally different Trag specie specific for Nybelmar continent. There is also an option that those Trags are mysterious Water Trags who had fled from Sarvonia by swimming to the west, but that topic is a subject of controversies.
Trags are very sensitive animals and because of that they are easily affected by human actions. On many places Trags are almost extinct because of hunting and destroying of their habitats. Best example of that is the Water Trag that was common animal in Santharia's west coasts and rivers so now it is almost extinct because human simply pushed it out.

Grass Trag:

Grass Trag is common specie in Sarvonia. It can be found in grasslands and plains in entire Sarvonia. Trags of this specie can be found rom southernmost parts of Celeste Lowlands in Northern Sarvonia all the way to Narfost Plains in Brendolan. Their other territories also include Aurora Fields, The Alianian Hills and many other places.

Desert Trag:

Desert Trags live on the semi-arid places such as northern outskirts of Rahaz-Dath in South Sarvonia and western edges of Heat of Wilderon. They can sometimes be seen on Elverground area and eastern parts of Steppe of Kruswik.

Forrest Trag:

Forrest Trags live, as their name says, in deep forests of Sarvonia. Because of that they are not often seen by people. Their main population is located in deep forests around Gulf of Maraya such as Auturian, Zeiphyrian and Sharadon Forests. Small populations are occasionally seen in other forests of Santharia.

Water Trag:
This specie used to be almost as common as the Forest Trags but due to hunting and lost of habitats they are now almost extinct. They used to live in western parts of southern Sarvonia such as southern coasts of Sanguia Province, coasts of Thaehelvil River, coasts of Vardyn Province in southern Sarvonia and from Water Marshes to the Eight Winds Bay in northern Sarvonia. They were not present in Enthronia province or on the eastern coasts of Santharia. Until today they are considered to be extinct everywhere except in Water Marshes region.
Since a couple of years there has been small number of reports considering seeing Trag species in Northeastern region of Nybelmar. This Trag specie is thought to be Water Trags that had fled Santharia. Since most of those reports come from Kingdom of Aca Santerra some believe that they came there on trade ships, both as unwanted (or unknown) cargo or as sort of “living larder” for the sailors.

Habitat/Behavior:
Behavior differ very much with the specie. That is so mostly because of their different habitat's life conditions.

Grass Trag:
Lifestyle of this type of Trag is similar to human. After short solitary life male Trags find their female and they stay with them for the rest of their life. Sometimes when one member of the pair dies the other one dies shortly after.
Males and couples stay on the same territory its entire life, and free females are free to wonder around looking for their perfect match.
Males are usually dominant over females, they hunt and defend females and females take care of the youth.

Desert Trag:
They are extremely aggressive and they even attack their specie members if they enter their territory. There is no big difference between males and females in behavior or appearance. Often there are wars between different herds for territory. Usually in the centre of their large habitat there is a rich area where mating is done and where younger are left to grow protected from dangers and being watched by the oldest animals.

Forest Trag:
Forest Trags are gently, friendly animals easy scared by outer things. They live in huge family packs with more than twenty animals in one pack. The pack is leaded by The Leader male Trag, it is in total control and it is the only member of the pack that mates. Every season it is challenged by other males in the pack for position of the leader. Hierarchy is very important and family connections are very strong in the pack. Sometimes specialization appears in the older and bigger packs (hunters, nurses, defenders, etc.). Food is equally divided between members of the pack depending of their level in hierarchy. They are not territorially and move around all the time in search for food.

Water Trag:
Limited information is available about this specie and those are mostly old tales from the times when they weren't so rare. It is commonly believed that they live (or had lived) in pares and on the coastline of rivers and seas hunting sea and land animals.

Diet:
Trags are omnivorous but they mainly eat meat and just occasionally they eat grass and herbs. Changes in their diet can cause changes in their electric power, in some cases it can even disappear. It is been noticed that Trags without plant food will temporary lose its electric ability.
Mainly they eat everything they can stun or fry: worms, bugs, reptiles even small birds and mammals (rabbits, wild dogs, rats). Water Trags are even supposed to catch fish by releasing charges in the river and collecting stunned and dead fish of the surface.
Forest Trags are the only specie of Trag that hunts in packs. They are very organized and hunt even bigger animals such as deer by using complex strategies and powerful combinations of electric attacks.


Mating:

Grass Trag:
When they are 5 years old male Trags start cleaning their territory and making it more attractive for a female. When they attract some female they became a pair for the rest of the life. Male makes a sort of a lair in the grass and then they mate. Females get birth to usually two or three young. Usually one of the young is female so that the number of females and males stays constant most of the time. Females take care of the young for more than 3 years. When the young leave their parents in search for female, parents pair usually gets another pair of young. During their lifetime single pair of Trags mates two or three times before they became sterile and live in peace for the rest of their life (usually around 10 years).
When Trag leaves his parents it would take part of its parents’ territory and turns it in its own.

Desert Trag:

Desert Trags became competitive during the mating season and males' fur gets richer reddish color. Males then start fighting over females that are at the 'neutral-zone' that is organized in the centre of their large habitat. Young Trags are very independent and mothers leave them alone after a week. All the young live at the same place (neutral-zone)along with rare old members of the specie, they grow and keep fighting between themselves for survival so that from 4 or 5 young in a lair only 1 or 2 survives enough to grow mature and challenge some older males for parts of(or entire) territory. When Trag is a year old it will leave neutral-zone and go challenge some older Trag for territory. In many fights Trags can even be seriously injured. Females will walk around living with its current mating partner and leaving after getting birth. Only old female Trags can enter neutral area to watch young Trags and old males can only constantly try to find some territory of their own to live on it.
 
Forest Trag:
They have no specific mating rituals. Every year all the males can challenge the Leader Trag for the place of a Leader. Leader mates with all the females every year and they give birth to a maximum of two young. Young usually spend their whole life in the same pack.

Water Trag:
Nothing is known about their mating. Probably they make some kind of lairs near water and live in pairs similar to Grass Trag specie.


Usages
Main part of the Trags that is used is their fur. Fur is used to make clothes and armors. Some of those items can keep the ability to resist lighting. Hunters mainly use that fur to protect them from Trags while hunting them. That kind of cloth is also used by warriors and mages because it gives resistance against most of the lightning spells.
The powder that is made from its bones and horns is used to make certain potions and spell ingredients. When put in potions those powders can give lightning ability but it is very rare and unstable because it is hard made and receipts are very complex.
Its horns are also used to make decorations and figures for selling.
Its meat is not very valuable but is sometimes used in times of need. Meat is usually used by poor sailors. They catch a couple of live Trags and keep them on the ship because they need very little food to survive. Because of their poor diet Trags lose electric ability very fast and became harmless. Sailors feed them and then kill them when they need fresh meat. Some people even claim that maybe some Water Trags came to the continent of Nybelmar this way.


Myth/Lore:
Trags are connected to lightning element. They are symbols of power of the sky. In some cultures it is forbidden to kill the Trag, and in some places it is strictly determined how many Trags can be killed in one year.
There are stories that by watching the Trags human got the idea to use start using and manipulating lightning. Some of the lightning spells maybe could have been invented by watching Trags hunting (Static Bolt, Clap of Thunder).
« Last Edit: 11 October 2009, 19:03:44 by Ishana Lachora » Logged
Ishana Lachora
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« Reply #1 on: 03 January 2009, 08:21:19 »

I think this is about everything I could remember.
I still think there is some place for improvment in myth section but Im not so skilled in that so I'll start looking and learning
Please comment and leave suggestions.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #2 on: 03 January 2009, 08:39:36 »

Hi Ishana,

you are busy lately, are you :)

it is late for me, so just one comment on your deer, so that you have some work.

Santharia/Caelereth is a more or less medieval society, so they don't know anything about electrical charges. The effect of course exist, but it is explained in terms of magic. Better ask a magic expert, how you could phrase this ability!
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Ishana Lachora
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« Reply #3 on: 03 January 2009, 09:35:12 »

I see what are you pointing at
however I have noticed term "charge" and "electric charge" in spells section when describing certain wind spells(like Static Bolt) so i think that a charge simply means some bigger quantity of electric charge
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« Reply #4 on: 03 January 2009, 18:50:08 »

don't have loadsa time and know nothing about magic, so this isnt an in depth check.
corrections in yellow.
Trag

Small omnivorous type of deer found in most of the Sarvonia. It is best known by its amazing ability to use lightning powers.tell us more! anything that'll draw the reader in - this is good, but another couple sentences might be nice.

Categorization:
Animals, Wild, Deers

Appearance:

The Trag is a small animal with a maximal height of three handspans in torso. There are also smaller types but the size of the animal is never less than one handspan. Usually they are half a ped long and weight about 2.5 ods.
The bone structure is similar both to deers and rats. Its limbs' <limb bones are long and elastic so they rarely break them. It is important their bones are elastic because they need to be fast to run away from predators. just a quick question - do elastic bones make an animal faster or more agile? tendon and muscular arrangement tends to have more impact on speed - look at cheetahs.Front legs are the same length as back but they are not so muscular. Their back legs are very thin and muscles in them are long and powerfull. It uses itsback legs to run and front legs to keep balance and for turning while running. They have four toes on each foot to gain speed easier. It is skinny and it doesn't have tail.you might want to add an extra thing, like how it has a long body or very flexible pine, because running fast without a tail is ery tricky for bipedal animals. that confused me, actually - is it bipedal or quadrupedal? it might help more easily confused readers (like me) if you stated that outright at sme point. grin
Its skull is rat-like with long peak, <peak? is that snout, or jaws, or what? and it's<remove apostrophe bone structure is similar to rat's. Males' fangs in upper jar are bigger than usual size(they are almost three nailsbreadth long), so when mouth is closed they are still visible. There is no fur on its peak and around eyes, eyes are small and black, nose is small and wet, placed at the top of the peak. yeah, sorry, i think peak is quite a confusing word, and also a bit creepy as it harks back to skull much more than live animals.They have poor hearing but very good sight. Ears are small and placed wide on top of the head. Between ears are two horns. The horns are straight and dull, males' are longer(5 nailsbreadths) than females'(3 nailsbreadth). Each horn ends with a cavity filled with liquid. what? wow, that's really unusual, tell us more - doesn't have to be lots, but if it has a specific purpose, tell us a very quick outline, and then if you talk about that more later on, you could point that out, just something like "see -insert category name- for more details. that's a really interesting detail.
Its body is covered with thick long fur. This fur is very special; it is long and because of its length, hairs can easily collect electric charge from the atmosphere. The charge is then sent through skin to skull and stored in the horn cavity. i don't really know anything about this, i'd wait for the magic expert like Talia said.  grin
Fur itself is resistant to electricity so Trag can't hurt itself. Fur is rich brown, red, what colour?coloured and there are many patterns and colours on it. describe them, please - swirly? stripy? it helps build a picture.
aargh, sorry, i gotta go, i'll try and do more later, but for now i think you've got a bit to work on. there's nothing major - it's a nice entry and you're certainly going into some close detail.  thumbup

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« Reply #5 on: 12 January 2009, 22:20:27 »

comms would be appreciated
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« Reply #6 on: 14 January 2009, 05:16:01 »

i'll give you a few general pointers, but i'm afraid my knowledge of magic and the electrical side of things is too poor to be of any help. give a bell ring to Decipher or someone in charge of the bestiary, and they can give you some proper pointers.

here are my suggestions.
1. i have problems with spelling and grammar so i can attest from experience that running things through a spellchecker is invaluable, and makes things a lot easier for commenters.
2. i really like the way you've divided the different species of trag over habitat types, but could you maybe be a bit more specific in the territories of individual species?
3. in the mating and habitat/behaviour sections, adding small explanations of why the different trag species have such different behaviour patterns would really gve the entry depth. stuff like that the desert trag might be more agressive because food and water are harder to come by, so they face greater competition for them? that's just a suggestion, though.
4. you seem to have a good grasp of biological terms, but i wonder if you know what a lek is? that's basically what you've described in the "neutralzone" concept for the desert trag's mating behaviour. oh, and the word for animals that pair for life is "monogamous". this is, of course, a fantasy site, so by no means feel you have to use the words, but if you like them, they're yours. grin
5. one more thing, i swear. you mention that trags might have come to Nybelmar as a kind of "living larder" for sailors. mention this (and elaborate on it) in the usages section, it sounds interesting.
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« Reply #7 on: 03 October 2009, 04:52:58 »

This is improved version of Trag specie entry. I would like comments regarding their habitats and general behavior.
Also, terms like "electric", "charge" etc. are still subject of my work and I'm currently investigating level of awareness of those terms by people of Sarvonia and editing details about their entire ability.
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« Reply #8 on: 11 October 2009, 04:17:43 »

spelling/grammar/nomenclature - in yellow
comments - in limegreen

Trag

Trag is a small, omnivorous type of deer found throughout most of the Sarvonia. It is best known for its amazing ability to use lightning powers. Throughout Sarvonia there are several different species of Trags. They are species that is very sensitive to environment changes and human impact.

Categorization:
Animals, Wild, Deer

Appearance:
The Trag is a small animal with a maximal (maximum?) height of three handspans in thetorso and four in the head. There are also smaller types but the size of an animal is never less than one handspan. Usually they are half a ped long and weight about 2.5 ods.
Bone structure is similar both to deer and rats. Its limbs' bones are long and elastic which enables them to quickly run away from predators. Their back legs are very muscular and thin, which, in combination with their bone structure, makes them very fast. They have an elastic spine and short tail that enables them to more easily turn while running. Front legs are of the same length as back ones, but they are not so muscular. Trag(s?) are quadrupeds and they usually use their strong back feet to run and front ones to keep balance while running and walking.

Its skull has a bone structure similar to that of a rats. Males' fangs in upper jar are bigger than usual size (they are almost three nailsbreadth long), so when jaws are closed they are still visible. (What is the usual size? What about the jaw of a female Trag?) There is no fur on its snout [color = yellow]or [/color] around the eyes, which are small and black; nose is small, wet and placed at the top of the long snout. They have poor hearing but make that up with very good sight and smell. Their ears are small and placed wide on top of the head. Between ears there are two horns. Horns are straight and dull, going almost horizontal from between the ears. Males' horns are a bit longer (five nailsbreadths) than females'(three nailsbreadths). Each horn ends with a cavity filled with liquid. It is not known for sure but is assumed that something about that part of their body is important for their electric ability.
Its body is covered with a thick, long fur that is very harsh and rough to touch. The fur itself is resistant to electricity so Trag can't hurt itself. The fur is richly colored, with colors that depend on species, with many patterns on it (stripes and spots) which helps them to be less visible. (I suggest that you separate this last sentence into two separate sentences).

I'll be able to expand more on thiis in a bit!
« Last Edit: 11 October 2009, 04:19:51 by Chronusian » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: 11 October 2009, 05:24:39 »

Not to steal Chronusian's thunder, I just happen to have too much time on my hands.

Quote

Territory:
Trags are common specie in Sarvonia and they are found in most Sarvonia south of Gulf of Oh'Cant'aelwyn.This is like saying "South of the Arctic Circle". You're covering a ridiculous, obscene in fact, quantity of land here. Cut it down a little.  They are not found on higher mountains, harsh deserts or close to permanent human habitats. So... there seem to be quite a few of these. Especially in southern Sarvonia. Where are your creatures going to live?
Originally, Trags were not present on other continents but there have been number of seeing outside of Sarvonia, mostly on the continent of Nybelmar and islands around it. Some believe that smugglers and sailors took some Trags for food or some animals entered the ships and finished there. Another theory states that this specie on Nybelmar is totally different Trag specie specific for Nybelmar continent. There is also an option that those Trags are mysterious Water Trags who had fled from Sarvonia by swimming to the west, but that topic is a subject of controversies.You're already considering putting these all over one continent. Stick with the one for now.
Trags are very sensitive animals and because of that they are easily affected by human actions. On many places Trags are almost extinct because of hunting and destroying of their habitats. Best example of that is the Water Trag that was common animal in Santharia's west coasts and rivers so now it is almost extinct because human simply pushed it out.This would require a rather thorough understanding as to how people can affect animals (something the modern world still doesn't have a complete grasp of) and seems a little too scientific for the compendium.

Grass Trag:
Grass Trag is common specie in Sarvonia. It can be found in grasslands and plains in entire Sarvonia. Trags of this specie can be found rom southernmost parts of Celeste Lowlands in Northern Sarvonia all the way to Narfost Plains in Brendolan. Their other territories also include Aurora Fields, The Alianian Hills and many other places. Sarvonia is, for lack of a better term: FREAKING HUGE. To put "many other places" as a description of territory is akin to saying they can be found in Asia. Put some limits on this perhaps?

Desert Trag:
Desert Trags live on the semi-arid places such as northern outskirts of Rahaz-Dath in South Sarvonia and western edges of Heat of Wilderon. They can sometimes be seen on Elverground area and eastern parts of Steppe of Kruswik.This really doesn't tell me much. What is "Rahaz-Dath" Southern Sarvonia is rather large, so that's a great help. Same for the rest of it.

Forrest Trag:
Forrest Trags live, as their name says, in deep forests of Sarvonia. Because of that they are not often seen by people. Their main population is located in deep forests around Gulf of Maraya such as Auturian, Zeiphyrian and Sharadon Forests. Small populations are occasionally seen in other forests of Santharia. The deep sections of the forests you've mentioned here are populated by the Tethinrhim, the Yllferhim and the Maeverhim elves. Chances are these creatures are going to be seen.

Water Trag:
This specie used to be almost as common as the Forest Trags but due to hunting and lost of habitats they are now almost extinct. They used to live in western parts of southern Sarvonia such as southern coasts of Sanguia Province, coasts of Thaehelvil River, coasts of Vardyn Province in southern Sarvonia and from Water Marshes to the Eight Winds Bay in northern Sarvonia. They were not present in Enthronia province or on the eastern coasts of Santharia. Until today they are considered to be extinct everywhere except in Water Marshes region.
Since a couple of years there has been small number of reports considering seeing Trag species in Northeastern region of Nybelmar. This Trag specie is thought to be Water Trags that had fled Santharia. Since most of those reports come from Kingdom of Aca Santerra some believe that they came there on trade ships, both as unwanted (or unknown) cargo or as sort of “living larder” for the sailors. This is confusing, both grammatically and based on the information. You have to identify some sort of time, since "Since a couple of years ago" changes every year, and even based on the person's definition of "a couple". Put down a concrete date. I'm not an expert in grammar, but there is something quite off here, and I suggest you either look it through yourself, or ask someone else to do so.

Habitat/Behavior:
Behavior differ very much with the specie. That is so mostly because of their different habitat's life conditions.
Are you sure you meant to do only one entry for this. Regardless, I'm going to skip ahead to the Myth/Lore section (I have to leave something for Chronusian to do after all).

Myth/Lore:
Trags are connected to lightning element.You probably want to use Wind here, since that is the school of magic that deals with lightning.  They are symbols of power of the sky. In some cultures it is forbidden to kill the Trag, and in some places it is strictly determined how many Trags can be killed in one year.Who? Where? Why? You're talking about something that can shock and stun a grown man and there's a reason not to kill it? I'd like to know what that is.
There are stories that by watching the Trags human got the idea to use start using and manipulating lightning. Some of the lightning spells maybe could have been invented by watching Trags hunting (Static Bolt, Clap of Thunder).
Verdict: Shrink it. It's the best advice I can give you. At the moment, introducing this creature is a little like importing an exotic animal. It doesn't fit. If you were to consolidate the idea into a single creature, not to mention bring it down to a more manageable scale, I could see this working. At the moment, you're trying to introduce an entire species to the larger part of the world, seemingly without a care for the impact this would have on existing entries. Your attempt at integration into the world should not be to drop names of places in at random. Start smaller. I also highly recommend that you ask someone to look through this for spelling and grammatical errors and correct them. At the moment, these make it very hard to read, let alone understand what you've written.
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Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
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one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
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« Reply #10 on: 11 October 2009, 19:10:26 »

Thanks for the comments
I'm constantly trying to shrink this and I already have a shorter version of this post just that I have been sick lately so I didn't have time to go online.
I know that this is much but I would like to have this subspecies because of its diversity and different characteristic.
Just two comments on yours
-about water trag extinction and human impact I'm not thinking very scientific or detailed here just something like a line of events
water trags live on a place X--->human come on a place X--->shortly after water trags disappear
-and for the reasons not to kill trag it can be considered holly animal, animal that is connected to sky and wind element, etc.
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« Reply #11 on: 11 October 2009, 22:13:18 »

Hi Ishana,

Just a quick suggestions for you :D
If it is a holy animal, make sure you identify which tribes or groups consider the Trag to be holy. That would give you some additional opportunities for cross referencing in this entry.
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« Reply #12 on: 12 October 2009, 02:09:22 »

Ishana, what I meant by scientific is that the look you are taking assumes they are extinct, and is using the sort of cause and effect concept that most people simply wouldn't bother with.
To wit:
 No more trag sightings
  • They could simply be living somewhere where we can't see them (deeper water, excellent camouflage).
  • They could be afraid of ships.
  • They could have swam somewhere else.
  • There are less of them, so we don't see them as often.
  • They could have magic. (Always a big one with superstitious seafolk)
To assume that "we hunted them, so they're all dead" is a very modern thing to do if you didn't mean to wipe out a species deliberately.
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Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
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one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
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« Reply #13 on: 12 October 2009, 23:22:01 »

OH, now I see the point
I'm now considering just working on the Trag specie in general, putting aside all the subspecies.
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