Queprur's Blight

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[Lorek Sarnif]

Mira's comments and suggested changes have been done in this lovely color.

Categorization: Vines

Name: Queprur’s Blight. [Lethal Pulchritude, given by Sir Lorek Sarnif. The elves call the plant "Ishím Aváth". This name literally translates to mean "Deceitful Beauty."]

Overview: These beautiful flowers are not only pleasant to look at, they serve quite a few other purposes as well. The vine can be woven into a very strong rope. The petals can be used as a hallucinogenic drug or be made into a dreadfully lethal poison. Only with great familiarity and much experimentation could one find the darker purposes of this flower. Thin petals of a hypnotic, nearly nor'sidian hue grow from a broad-leafed green vine. One can catch a glimpse of these gorgeous plants in nearly any temperate climate.

Appearance: These plants are famed widely for their colour, a deep purplish midnight blue that is almost black. These treacherous beauties possess five petals of this odd color. There are eleven snow-white stamens and a single pistil the color of fresh-flowing blood growing from the center of each flower. The flowers tend to grow in clusters of five to eight on a vivid green vine. Each portion of the vine with a blooming flower contains a cluster of five leaves nearby. The broad petals flourish outward and up, almost like a near black campfire. The flowers never measure more than one and a quarter palmspans across. Quite frequently the plants grow so closely together that their vines become intertwined, choking out other plants from lack of sunshine and water. These vicious violets can cover an area of near fifteen peds square. The vines have a tendency to grow across the ground, though climbing is not unheard of. [Sentence removed.] The vine is about as thick as three human fingers around and grows to a length of almost six and one half peds.

The main roots grow deep into the ground and the secondary roots look like short hooks of wood. Each of the roots is only about four nailsbreadths long. They come from the bottom of the vine, from one end to the other and dig into the earth. [Two sentences removed.] The secondary roots anchor the vine into the soil.

Territory: These lethal lovelies grow only in very favourable temperate climates where the winters aren't too harsh. They mostly grow in forests all over Southern Sarvonia. Their boundaries are the Celeste Lowlands for the north, Ancythrian Sea for the east, Salsair for the west and Marcogg for the south. In the wintertime, the flowers close and shrink into a bulb shape the size of seven nailsbreadths round and curl up into the vine. These deadly graces are sometimes raised in gardens for their looks; the happy green-thumbs being unaware that the plant is a capable poison and highly addictive drug.

Usages: The flower can be made into a vile poison that the Kasumarii have favoured for generations. It is also used by many necromancers in the practice of their depraved craft. The well-earned nickname of this concoction is “Void Liquid” as it can cause death to a target in mere minutes. The assassin coats their chosen weapon in this poison, and then uses it on unsuspecting targets. [Portion of this sentence removed.] The poison works by attacking the target’s muscles and sending them into agonizing convulsions. The body tenses up and becomes a cage of misery. Breathing then becomes laboured, blood flow slows, and then death comes for the victim only minutes later.

The result of these wounds is not always death; mild poisonings can result in a horrible sickness that lasts for days. Severe nausea, burning pain in the muscles, and blurred vision are the most common symptoms. This state of illness is commonly called Fate's Grip. There is no known antidote. Only mild relief is to come by way of a pain killer administered by a healer. The most commonly used is one made from the Canelvous herb.

The process for producing this grotesque poison is a closely guarded secret among the Kasumarii and necromancers. The Kasumarii tribe has used this poison for countless years in their practices of assassination. It has also been given a degree of praise among necromancers, being whispered across the lips and to the ears from one magus to another for many decades.

The flower can also be picked, allowed to dry and smoked in a pipe. It is sometimes mixed with regular pipeweeds, though most prefer to smoke it alone to fully enjoy the satisfying taste. When this is done, it clears one’s thoughts, enhances the senses and induces a state of euphoria. Usually only one petal is needed to achieve this effect, however, more experienced users require more of the flower to get this feeling. The smoking of these flowers can occasionally induce hallucinations. This use of the plant is famed amongst scholars for the effect of mind clearing so they can focus on their tasks at hand. Many mages also put it in their pipes to help them think more clearly for casting and researching spells and reagents. Using the flowers for this purpose can rapidly cause dependency. Should an addict refrain from its use for more than a week, they will find themselves unable to focus clearly for just about a month. Severe headaches, chills and the shakes are also common side effects. On more rare occasions, temporary insanity can occur, as well as the inability to sleep. After the same amount of time, the addict returns to normal.

One can take the vine and weave it with care into a rope of great strength. The rope is ten times stronger than normal rope at only one quarter of the thickness. It is not only durable but flexible as well allowing it to be made into bowstrings. It is also highly revered in shipyards for loading heavy cargo. Many a farmer uses this rope to tie his or her horses to a wagon to help with plowing fields. It can also be used for grappling hooks in siege warfare, should the need arise. A drawback is that in the production, the vine emits a dust that if inhaled in large enough volumes, can be lethal. The death is a slow painful one that involves coughing up blood, sore throat, headaches and eye cramps. This dust is also irritating to human skin and will leave a great quantity of small red bumps that excrete pus.

Reproduction: Queprur’s Blight flowers have one of the oddest forms of reproduction ever documented, as they rely solely on death to spread the vines. Many types of birds eat the stamen and pistil parts of the flower because of its alluring scent, thereby getting the seeds pollinated in their system. Their body is unable to digest the seeds due to a waxy substance over them. Then the plant begins to grow inside the bird. Finally, the infant vine bursts out of the bird, killing it. This process is how these unique flowers gained such a devious name. The most common birds killed by this plant are Aelirel birds. They catch a whiff while hunting, are lured to the plant and indulge. Since the flowers taste sweetly to them, the birds suspect nothing.

Myth/Lore: The main myth that surrounds this plant is that Queprur herself planted the very first vine to strangle out other plants and serve her fatal purposes. From this first vine, many grew and began to do the work of the death goddess.

Another far more disturbing myth is also spread about this plant. It is rumoured that if one receives a flower picked from this plant as a gift, they will die before the next dawn. This ancient tale is spread because famed assassin Veljik Liferipper gave one to each of his wives before he killed them. Not only was he a great contract killer, he was also a sadistic fiend. [Deleted sentence.]

[Morden Peshirgolz]

OK, I'm no expert, but until one of the members gives you a check, I can at least comment on the basics. Here goes, in red.

Name: Queprur’s Blight (Any nicknames?)

Overview: These beautiful flowers are not only pleasant to look at; they produce a fibrous rope of extreme strength and a lethal poison that can kill in minutes. Only with great familiarity and much experimentation could one find the darker purposes of this flower. A sentence or two more would be nice here. Perhaps something about it territory, and what kind of plant it basically is. Not too many details, but just drop a hint or two on its appearance. Also, as a note for the future, stay away from poisonous plants. There are already a lot of them, and realistically there shouldn't be (since then everybody would go around killing each other or dying by accident).

Appearance: These plants are famed widely for their color. A deep purplish midnight blue that is almost as black as the Void itself. These treacherous beauties possess five petals the color described above. There are eleven snow-white stamens (too technical of a term, a medieval researcher would not know that this structure was called a stamen, since we have no Santh name for it) protruding from each. A single pistil (same problem as above) the color of fresh-flowing blood grows from the center of each flower. They tend to grow in clusters of five to eight on a vivid green vine. (What does the vine look like? How long is it? You assume that the reader knows what this particular vine look like.) The petals flourish outward and up, almost like a near black campfire. The flowers never measure more than one and a quarter palmspans across. Quite frequently the plants grow so closely together their vines are intertwined and can cover an area of near fifteen peds. The vines have a tendency to grow on the ground, though climbing is not unusual. You could stand to add plenty of detail to this piece. You haven't even mentioned what its roots look like, or if it even has roots. Perhaps you could invent some strange structure it has for latching on to the ground? Does it have any leaves, or just flowers? More details, please, this is an interesting plant.

Territory: These lethal lovelies grow only in temperate climates where the winter won’t kill the whole plant. In the wintertime, the flowers close and shrink into a bulb shape the size of a few nailsbreadths and curl up into the vine. Whilst the flower is very delicate, the vine is highly durable and can even be made into a very light, strong rope. These deadly graces grow all over Caelereth (If it can't stand the cold, it obviously doesn't grow all over Caelereth. Most of Northern Sarvonia is very cold in the wintertime, with areas that are bitterly cold all year round, so it couldn't grow there.), and some folks plant them in their gardens. (This is too widespread for a poisonous plant. Do most people in the real world just grow marijuana or coca plants in their backyards? It is like they are asking someone to pick the plant and use it to kill them. It doesn't make sense to me to have people growing poisonous plants as a hobby.)

Usages: The flower – The flower can be made into a vile poison that many a Kasumarii has favored for decades. The well-earned nickname of this concoction is “Void Liquid” as it can cause death to a target in mere minutes. The assassin coats their chosen weapon in this poison, and then use them on unsuspecting targets that become mere pawns in death’s little game. (How does the poison do its work? What body systems does it affect? Is it a narcotic or some other type of known drug?)

The exact process for making the poison requires one to gather two firkins of milk from Strata cows, and four firkins of water, a handful of salt and about six to ten flowers. The mixture must be allowed to simmer for no less than three hours, without boiling. It then must be strained of all excess pulp, keeping only the grotesque liquid that remains. The Kasumarii tribe has used this poison for countless years in their practices of assassination. It has also been given a degree of praise among necromancers (Huh? Why would a necromancer care about a poison? Unless it is useful as a spell reagent, that is...), being whispered across the lips and to the ears from one magus to another for many decades.

The vine – One can take the vine and weave it with care into a rope of great strength. Often times, this rope can withstand up to seven pygges of force before the risk of breakage. This makes it highly preferred amongst thieves and hired killers alike for scaling tall obstacles and choking opposing forces to death from behind.

Any usages besides one's ending in death? A few non-killing usages would help to flesh the plant out a little more.

Reproduction: Queprur’s Blight flowers have no formal breeding (I don't think there is such a thing as formal breeding for plants, so this phrase really isn't necessary), as they rely solely on nature to run its course. Birds eat parts of the flower getting the pollen in their system. Their body is unable to digest it and the plant begins to grow inside the bird until it bursts with the vine growing from its carcass. This is how this unique flower gained its devious name. (Bwahaha, very devious indeed. However, why then do the birds keep eating it. Perhaps there is something very alluring about this plant, that makes them unable to resist?)

Very good idea, Lorek. You just need to add more detail, and expand the plant just a little besides being a pure death-machine. Not that death-machines aren't fun, but it's a little one-dimensional as is. Good work, and good luck!

[Bard Judith]

Good to see you back and starting in right away, Lorek!   However, I do have a major complaint! 

Not that this isn't well-written ... but did we REALLY need ANOTHER poison?   

Could you possibly stretch that creative mind of yours and see if there is something else this plant could do (and if you are really attached to it being poisonous, add rather than substitute) that might be more important than killing people?  I'm also not impressed with the very simple receipt being given in the Compendium - scholars are indeed interested in sharing knowledge, but this is the medieval equivalent of posting how to make a letter bomb!  "Hey, this is what this deadly poison looks like, and this is how to make it!"    Urgh.....

There are very few plants that exist solely to be 'pure death-machines', as Morden put it well, and it certainly should not be its primary usage.  Perhaps you could change this into our Flax, as we don't yet have any good plant-fiber plants - you've already mentioned that the vine makes good rope.    It would be so much more interesting to have it be a fiber plant which happens to be poisonous - so that the flax workers have to be very cautious in preparing the material....and perhaps we're not totally aware of all the hazards (like hatters going mad from the mercury used in hat preparation in Victorian England) but we know it's a dangerous job ....?   Just a thought!

[Mannix]

And one more thing I'd like to add, with a name like Queprur's Blight, isn't it likely to have myth/lore section?

[Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth]

Yes, I was going to note that as well, Mannix.
Just plug in a myth/lore section, and finish rounding out the concept as per Judy's suggestions, and I'll be glad to uri this

[Decipher Ziron]

@Judy: Haha! Not so much 'Mad as hatter'....more 'Dead as a ropeweaver' 

[Miraran Tehuriden]

So that's where that expression came from...

[Lorek Sarnif]

Sorry for the delayed responses but the weekend was kind of busy for me. Just a few things I feel need interjected. One being that I am very attatched to it being a poison, but I will give it other purposes, Master Bard. Lord Miraran, your inputs are always highly valued and your opinion respected from my stand point, so thank you. Mister Ziron, I would like to publicly thank you for the vote of confidence you've given me and promise you here and now you won't be let down. Morden, thank you for all of the good comments. Much appreciated. Lord Mannix, the myth/lore section is optional, but I will get around to giving it a very dark myth surrounding it. Much love from me to all of you in the coming year. Thanks for the great comments. *Gets to work before someone cracks the *

Edit: I think I incorporated everyone's comments so I'm putting the exclamation mark back up. If I missed any, I apologize. In that case, point out the comments that I missed an I'll get to work on them. If not, leave more, please. Thank you my fellow compendiumists. Much love from me to you.

[Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth]

Name: Queprur’s Blight

Nicknames: None. Really now? No elvish name? Nothing descriptive of its appearance? Nothing at all?

Overview: These beautiful flowers are not only pleasant to look at; they produce a fibrous rope of extreme strength and a lethal poison that can kill in minutes. Oh dear. Let's not mix in the bad with the good here, break up the sentence a bit. Only with great familiarity and much experimentation could one find the darker purposes of this flower. Thin petals of a hypnotic nearly obsidian hue grow from a broad green vine. Okay... how about

"The beautiful flowers are not only pleasant to look at; they are also extremely useful to a variety of people. Some use the *stems, leaves, whatever* to create an extremly strong rope, while others, well-versed in dark secrets and poison-craft, can extract a deadly poison from the aptly-named "Queprur's Blight"

. On that note, if very few know about the poison qualities, why is the plant so ominously named? [/color] One can catch a glimpse of these gorgeous plants in nearly any temperate climate.

Appearance: These plants are famed widely for their color, a deep purplish, midnight blue that is almost as black as the Void itself. These treacherous beauties possess five petals of identical color. There are eleven snow-white stamens protruding from each. A single pistil the color of fresh-flowing blood grows from the center of each flower. They tend to grow in clusters of five to eight on a vivid green vine. The petals flourish outward and up, almost like a near black campfire. The flowers never measure more than one and a quarter palmspans across. Quite frequently the plants grow so closely together their vines are intertwined, choking other plants to a horrible death from lack of sunshine and water. *gulp* Not exactly a gardener's best friend, eh? Nice description! These vicious violets And nice alliteration! can cover an area of near fifteen square peds. The vines have a tendency to grow on the ground, though climbing is not unusual. When the vines do climb, they rarely survive as there is no way for them to nourish themselves. The vine is about as thick as an orc warrior’s forearm and grows to a length of almost six and one half peds.

The dense roots grow deep into the ground and look like short hooks of wood. They absorb water through the root and run it the length of the vine. This combining with the light of the sun allows them to make their own food just like most other plants on Caelereth.

Territory: These lethal lovelies grow only in temperate climates where the winter won’t kill the whole plant. In the wintertime, the flowers close and shrink into a bulb shape the size of a few nailsbreadths and curl up into the vine. Whilst the flower is very delicate, the vine is highly durable and can even be made into a very light, strong rope. The vine is thick, yet light. Is it hollow? These deadly graces Graces sounds a bit odd here, but keep[ it if you will. grow all over Caelereth, and some folks plant them in their gardens unaware that the plant is a capable poison and highly addictive drug.

Usages: The flower – The flower can be made into a vile poison that the Kasumarii have  favored for decades. The well-earned nickname of this concoction is “Void Liquid” as it can cause death to a target in mere minutes. The assassin coats their chosen weapon in this poison, and then uses it on unsuspecting targets that become mere pawns in death’s little game. The poison works by attacking one’s nerves Do we know about nerves? Not sure, you may just want to use mind, or body. and sending them into painful convulsions. Breathing then becomes labored, blood flow slows, and then death ensues only minutes later.

The exact process for making the poison requires one to gather two firkins of milk from Strata cows, and four firkins of water, a pinch of salt and about six to ten flowers. The mixture must be allowed to simmer for no less than three hours, without boiling. It then must be strained of all excess pulp, keeping only the grotesque liquid that remains. The Kasumarii tribe has used this poison for countless years in their practices of assassination. It has also been given a degree of praise among necromancers, being whispered across the lips and to the ears from one magus to another for many decades.

The flower can also be picked, allowed to dry and smoked. When this is done, it clears one’s thoughts and induces a state of euphoria. Usually only one flower is needed to achieve this effect, however more experienced users require more of the flower to get this feeling. The smoking of these flowers can occasionally induce hallucinations. This use of the plant is famed amongst scholars for the effect of mind clearing so they can focus on their tasks at hand. Many mages also put it in their pipes to help them think more clearly for casting and researching spells and reagents. Let one be warned now, use of it this way can very rapidly cause addiction to it. Should one refrain from its use for more than a week, they will find themselves unable to focus clearly for months. Afterward, the addict’s thought process returns to normal.

The vine – One can take the vine and weave it with care into a rope of great strength. The rope is ten times stronger than normal rope at only one quarter of the thickness. It is not only durable but flexible as well allowing it to be made into bowstring. It is also highly revered in shipyards for loading heavy cargo. Many a farmer uses this rope to tie his or her horses to plow fields. It can also be used for grappling hooks in siege warfare should the need arise.

Reproduction: Queprur’s Blight flowers ugh.... bad pun, man the oddest form of reproduction ever documented, as they rely solely on death- every mode of reproduction requires nature to "run its course". Birds eat parts of the flower because of its alluring scent, thereby getting the pollen in their system. Their body is unable to digest it and the plant begins to grow inside the bird until it bursts with the vine growing from its carcass. This process is how this unique flower gained its devious name.

Myth/Lore: The only mythDon't say the only myth- it restricts future development. that surrounds this plant is that Queprur herself planted the very first vine to strangle out other plants and serve her fatal purposes. From this first plant, many grew all around the disc of Caelereth and began to do the work of the death goddess.
have a space
The following is a poem written by a Kasumarii assassin about his love for this vine.

Blight of My Darling Queprur, by Allekij Nightblade:

Oh, dearest Queprur, how I revere your Blight.
The near black flowers possess a captivating scent.
When I see them, the petals set my eyes alight.
I coat my blade in their poison, to my enemies’ lament.
Blight of My Darling Queprur, your uses be many.
Containing power beyond that of kings.
Strongest beauty beyond that of any.
I love your scent among other things.

Over all, not bad- a couple of flaws here and there, but this'll be blarrowable in no time! I like the appearance section ecspecially.

[Lorek Sarnif]

Okay, all comments incorporated. Ready for more comments and/or approval.

[Alysse the Likely]

Okay, comments in orange




Name: Queprur’s Blight

Nicknames: Lethal Pulchritude, Ishím Aváth. The first is a nickname given to it by the scholar Kristoff Neijeln (perhaps he should be named as a researcher?) The second is its nickname among the elves literally meaning “deceitful beauty“.

Overview: These beautiful flowers are not only pleasant to look at; they serve quite a few other purposes as well. The petals can be used as a drug or a poison. Also the vine makes excellent rope. Only with great familiarity and much experimentation could one find the darker purposes of this flower. Thin petals of a hypnotic nearly obsidian hue grow from a broad green vine. One can catch a glimpse of these gorgeous plants in nearly any temperate climate. (you should list the usages of this plant in order from most common--the rope--to least known--the poison.)

Appearance: These plants are famed widely for their color, a deep purplish midnight blue that is almost black. These treacherous beauties possess five petals of this odd color. There are eleven snow-white stamens and a single pistil the color of fresh-flowing blood growing  from the center of each flower. The flowers tend to grow in clusters of five to eight on a vivid green vine. The broad petals flourish outward and up, almost like a near black campfire. The flowers never measure more than one and a quarter palmspans across. Quite frequently the plants grow so closely together their vines are intertwined, choking out other plants from lack of sunshine and water. These vicious plants can cover an area of near fifteen peds square. The vines have a tendency to grow on the ground, though climbing is not unusual. When the vines do climb, they rarely survive as there is no way for them to nourish themselves. The vine is about as thick as an orc warrior’s forearm and grows to a length of almost six and one half peds. (Anything that grows that thick would be useless as a rope--you couldn't tie knots in it or use it effectively)

The dense roots grow deep into the ground and look like short hooks of wood. They absorb water through the root and run it the length of the vine. This combining with the light of the sun allows them to make their own food just like most other plants on Caelereth.

Territory: These lethal lovelies grow only in temperate climates where the winter won’t kill the whole plant. In the wintertime, the flowers close and shrink into a bulb shape the size of a few nailsbreadths and curl up into the vine. Whilst the flower is very delicate, the vine is highly durable and can even be made into a very light, strong rope. These deadly graces grow all over Caelereth, and some folks plant them in their gardens unaware that the plant is a capable poison and highly addictive drug.

Usages: The flower – The flower can be made into a vile poison that the Kasumarii have favored for decades. The well-earned nickname of this concoction is “Void Liquid” as it can cause death to a target in mere minutes. The assassin coats their chosen weapon in this poison, and then uses it on unsuspecting targets that become mere pawns in death’s little game. The poison works by attacking one’s body and sending them into agonizing convulsions. Breathing then becomes labored, blood flow slows, and then death ensues only minutes later.

The exact process for making the poison requires one to gather two firkins of milk from Strata cows, three firkins of water, a pinch of salt and about six to ten flowers. The mixture must be allowed to simmer with a cover for no less than five hours, without boiling. It then must be strained of all excess pulp, keeping only the grotesque obsidian liquid that remains. The Kasumarii tribe has used this poison for countless years in their practices of assassination. It has also been given a degree of praise among necromancers, being whispered across the lips and to the ears from one magus to another for many decades. (I'm not sure the Compendium researchers would want to give the EXACT process for making this poison, where anyone could read the recipe and use it.  More likely they would say it is a closely guarded secret among the Kasumarii--who would also be unlikely to give up the recipe.)

The flower can also be picked, allowed to dry and smoked. (in a pipe?  Mixed with usual pipeweed or by itself?) When this is done, it clears one’s thoughts and induces a state of euphoria. Usually only one petal is needed to achieve this effect, however more experienced users require more of the flower to get this feeling. The smoking of these flowers can occasionally induce hallucinations. This use of the plant is famed amongst scholars for the effect of mind clearing so they can focus on their tasks at hand. Many mages also put it in their pipes to help them think more clearly for casting and researching spells and reagents. Let one be warned now, use of it this way can very rapidly cause addiction to it. Should an addict refrain from its use for more than a week, they will find themselves unable to focus clearly for months. Afterward, the addict’s thought process returns to normal.

The vine – One can take the vine and weave it with care into a rope of great strength. The rope is ten times stronger than normal rope at only one quarter of the thickness. (Again, if it's as thick as the forearm of an orc, you can't do this.)  It is not only durable but flexible as well, allowing it to be made into bowstring. It is also highly revered in shipyards for loading heavy cargo. Many a farmer uses this rope to tie his or her horses to plow fields. It can also be used for grappling hooks in siege warfare should the need arise.

Reproduction: Queprur’s Blight flowers have the oddest form of reproduction ever documented, as they rely solely on death to spread the vines. Birds eat parts of the flower because of its alluring scent, thereby getting the pollen in their system. Their body is unable to digest it and the plant begins to grow inside the bird until it bursts with the vine growing from its carcass. This process is how this unique flower gained its devious name.  (Any specific type of bird?)

Myth/Lore: The only known myth that surrounds this plant is that Queprur herself planted the very first vine to strangle out other plants and serve her fatal purposes. From this first vine, many grew all around the disc of Caelereth and began to do the work of the death goddess. (I wouldn't say this is the only myth--maybe just the best known or most common one.  That leaves room for future developers to use this flower in their lore.)

The following is a poem written by a Kasumarii assassin about his love for this vine.

Blight of My Darling Queprur, by Allekij Nightblade:

Oh, dearest Queprur, how I revere your Blight.
The near black flowers possess a captivating scent.
When I see them, the petals set my eyes alight.
I coat my blade in their poison, to my enemies’ lament.
Blight of My Darling Queprur, your uses are many.
Containing power beyond that of kings.
Strongest beauty beyond that of any.
I love your petals among other things.


This is a good start, Lorek!  You could use a bit more detail in some areas, I think, but overall it seems pretty thorough.  With the few corrections and suggestions I've made, it should be ready for a Herbarium expert to look over.  Good work!

Alysse

[Lorek Sarnif]

Thanks for the great comments, Alysse. Much appreciated and they shall be put in at my earliest opportunity.

[Lorek Sarnif]

All comments incorporated, Alysse. It is now ready for an Herbarium mod to look over. Thank you for the help.

[Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels]

Lorek, I was just in the mood to look at your poem - but keep in mind, that I'm quite picky (more than others  )

I changed quite a lot, but tried to stay true to what I thought you had intended. A few words beforehand, but that is just my opinion :

Oh, dearest Queprur, how I revere your Blight.
The near black flowers possess a captivating scent.
When I see them, the petals set my eyes alight.
I coat my blade in their poison, to my enemies’ lament.
Blight of My Darling Queprur, your uses are many.
Containing power beyond that of kings.
Strongest beauty beyond that of any.
I love your petals among other things.

You want to write a poem, so try to avoid too common phrases, especially, if they do not fit well, like
When I see
The near black --- that's not poetical
I love your petals among other things. - that is outright boring!

Then: I tried to fit a scheme:
Each line has 5 pronounced syllables, many and any don't fit well, for they have feminine endings, but that is ok.
Of course *revere* sounds better or describes better what you meant, as possess, but it did not fit the rhythm.

So, what do you think?

Ishím Aváth

Oh, dearest Queprur, how I love your Blight.
Black flowers with a captivating scent.
I see them: petals set my eyes alight.
Their poison wreaks my enemies’ lament.

Oh, Queprur's Blight, you aid so many
Your powers best the might of kings
Your lovely midnight blue surpasses any
hue. Purple petals give me dreamer's wings.

[Miraran Tehuriden]

Their poison wreaks my enemies’ lament.

Does not make sense. I propose; "Their poison brings naught but torment."

Also, if you omit "midnight" from the second verse, it will flow better imho.

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Members Total Members: 990 Latest: Ryvic Darkveil Stats Total Posts: 140926 Total Topics: 10684 Online Today: 56 Online Ever: 125 (21 June 2007, 19:36:12) Users Online Users: 1 Guests: 45 Total: 46 Vesk Lyricahl

[Seeker]

Last 10 Shouts: Seeker Yesterday at 07:41:35 Are Shabby and Dek the same person in my mind.  Strange. Artimidor Federkiel 20 May 2012, 10:38:19 Ah yes, forgot to point out to Shabakuk that Chapter 5 is ready for testing - will do so now! Deklitch Hardin 18 May 2012, 09:35:51 I am pleased it is going well for you though Seeker ... can't wait to try it and die. Deklitch Hardin 18 May 2012, 09:35:13 No, I didn't Seeker. I think it is Master Anfang who is doing the testing Seeker 18 May 2012, 08:30:42 Dek-   shoals is going very well.  Art is starting on chapter 6. A very important chapter.  Did you test chapter 5? Valan Nonesuch 15 May 2012, 05:41:48 *Valan filches some parchments from around the corners of the pile before sauntering off attempting to look casual and tripping over the hem of his robes.* Bard Judith 14 May 2012, 07:33:29 Waiiiiiit!   (Bard staggers back with a pile of Unfinished Projects so high her arms are trembling)  Let me stuff mine in there before you lock the room!  *looks guiltily around and snatches the Quenyss parchment off the top of the stack* Deklitch Hardin 13 May 2012, 08:12:31 and throw the key into the deepest river we can find, or the midst of one of the volcanoes Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin 13 May 2012, 03:19:29 Then I say we lock the Unfinished Projects room.  If Arti ever gets in there.... big trouble. Deklitch Hardin 13 May 2012, 02:54:30 I'm amazed you can see the Altario projects pile considering it is dwarfed by my unfinished projects. For which I apologise.

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Seeker

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Artimidor Federkiel

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

[Seeker]

Seeker

[Valan Nonesuch]

Valan Nonesuch

[Bard Judith]

Bard Judith

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

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