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Author Topic: Raevalem- ABANDONED  (Read 4948 times)
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #15 on: 22 September 2010, 02:37:28 »

I think either Osther or goblins are fine. One could say the Oghak clan is smaller maybe, aggressive and quick. They would live in the mountain ranges of Aden. They are more a nuisance than a deadly army of human eaters...but their numbers are great and they excel at hiding in the caverns making surprise attacks and ambushes. They are not so bad in smaller numbers and the humans have been able to deal with them long-term, but stirring up an entire group of Oghak can be bad news. Maybe?
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No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #16 on: 17 October 2010, 01:08:15 »

So, continued updates in red to the description section. Once again, anything in black has not been editted, though suggestions for those sections are welcome.
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #17 on: 17 October 2010, 08:35:34 »

The overview looks good! However, it is not entirely clear of Raevalem is still currently in use or something long past. The overview tends to focus on the past founding and while you mention "it serves", it is not clear. Perhaps say something like "Though its original purpose has changed, Raevalem serves as a penitentary in the current day...etc"

At some point, you may wish to mention how the Erpheronian government supports and funds Raevalem currently. Do the Erpheronians view the settlement as important or something long past its prime?

Hrm...I have some ideas brewing in my head that may help with the history. Raevalem deserves an interesting, intriguing (and oft times violent) past!  thumbup
« Last Edit: 17 October 2010, 08:40:14 by Azhira Styralias » Logged

No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #18 on: 17 October 2010, 08:53:31 »

Ah, where to put that...

Raevalem should still be in use. Maybe not as good as it was in the heydays but it's still the last port of call for any ship to Akdor, aurium mines that sort of thing.
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Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #19 on: 03 November 2010, 03:53:43 »

I'd like to see some progress with this Raevalem entry as well - this is a very important port, just like maybe Ciosa is down in Manthria, which isn't accidentally called "Port Cael" (meaning: with connections all over the world, or at least the eastern half of it). Raevalem is the focal point between Northern Sarvonia, Santharia and Akdor, so even if the Erpheronians didn't get too far into Northern Sarvonia, having Raevalem is extremely vital.

This sentence in the overview BTW isn't properly constructed (also the whole thing stretches over five lines!):

Quote
...but the unfriendly terrain further north hindered this progressas did the presence of orc tribes further restricted Erpheronian expansion into this region...

I would recommend to make the vital importance of this place even clearer, also in the overview. The Overview BTW should also contain inhabitant numbers. Also to keep in mind: Raevalem now isn't actually an Erpheronian colony anymore, but rather a Santharian one.
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Amabella Catston
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« Reply #20 on: 13 August 2013, 15:28:00 »

Sorry - I just found this on the third page.

Is this entry still being worked on? I would love to develop Raevalem, and could use some of the material and the comments here as a starting point, but I would like permission first. I see it is says "On Hold, Raevalem 0 Priority" on Valan's schedule, but I'm not sure if this means the entry is available upon request.
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #21 on: 13 August 2013, 18:46:54 »

Looks like Valan may have dropped the entry. As a courtesy, PM or email him to ask if he's still interested in finishing it or if you could possibly take over and add your own touches. It would then be a dual authorship entry and those are always nice  grin

Raevalem is distinct in that it is a major Santharian colony in a largely unexplored region of the world so alot can be made of it. My development is to the eastern peninsula and up to the rift. Aden is really entirely open for alot of ideas and concepts. Once you start in an undeveloped area, you can't stop, believe me  cool
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No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #22 on: 13 August 2013, 19:38:03 »

I've PMed Valan, so let's see what he has to say. The entry has progressed already quite a bit, so seeing this one continued and finished would be very much appreciated, whoever wants to do it.  grin
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« Reply #23 on: 30 August 2013, 17:12:40 »

A note on Raevalem: PMed Valan twice, I know that he has seen the thread and the question already before that. He also received my PMs, but for some reason he doesn't respond. He had enough time to do so, and as that didn't happen I give permission myself that you can pick up here, Amabella, if you want. Just make sure to integrate what's already there in your work when you continue.
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Amabella Catston
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« Reply #24 on: 31 August 2013, 10:30:21 »

OK - I'll keep this on my development schedule then. I PM'ed him as well, but so far no response.

Once I have a working draft, I would prefer to set up a separate thread for it - call it version 2 - in order to keep the original text in this thread as a reference.  
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