* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Notifications & Notes
Masterplans/Projects
Dev Maps
Entry Templates
Picture Resources
Language Additions
Pages: 1 2 [3]
Print
Author Topic: Surgical Procedures- Warning somewhat graphic  (Read 2367 times)
0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 60
Offline Offline

Posts: 833



View Profile
« Reply #30 on: 09 February 2011, 13:57:44 »
Agran's eye surgery doesn't seem to be on.

These are suggestions on how I would rephrase bits that don't work. Take 'em or leave 'em, but as always I try to preserve the original when polishing. Some of these bits need to be rephrased, even if not how I do it.

Quote
Eye Surgery- While a very dangerous and rather unknown Add "procedure" here, or remove the "a" at the start, eye surgery has been attempted and succeeded, leading to at least moderate vision improvement on the subjects. The surgeon will take a long and very thin needle was pushed through the outer part of the eye to break up any ‘blockages’ and the remaining pieces were gently sucked up using an equally long and thin tubeThe surgeon will push a long and very thin needle through the outer part of the eye to break up any 'blockages' and the remaining pieces are gently sucked up using an equally long and thin tube.  Since this practice is rather dangerous and requires an expert’s skill, it is difficult to find surgeons willing to perform this outside of New Santhala. There have been rumours of attempts by Northern healers to attempt this, but whether the surgery was a success, or more importantly, if the patient lived, have remained so far, unconfirmed. Remove last comma.

Tense clarification needed; I suggest present, as it is general rather than anecdotal.

Ath
Logged
"Me, a hedge robber? You must tell me more about myself." -- Errol Flynn (The Adventures of Robin Hood, 1938)
"It needs but one foe to breed a war, and those who have not swords can still die upon them" -- JRR Tolkien
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Seeker
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 395
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.705


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #31 on: 10 February 2011, 02:27:53 »
Changes made.  I think this is done.  Unless there are more comments.
Logged
Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 105
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.476


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #32 on: 10 February 2011, 02:35:16 »
Can we have a name reasoning for the Santhalian Section? Cesarean sections are popularly (but incorrectly) believed to refer to Julius Caesar being delivered by that method.
Logged
Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Seeker
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 395
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.705


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #33 on: 13 February 2011, 21:27:32 »
I now have the following sentence

"To date only the healers in and around New Santhala have been able to perfect the procedure giving birth to the name Santhalian Section."
Logged
Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 105
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.476


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #34 on: 13 February 2011, 22:37:08 »
Thwip! Twang!
Logged
Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Pages: 1 2 [3]
Print
+Santharian Development   +Forum   +Santharian World Development   +Miscellaneous (Moderators: Seeker, Valan Nonesuch)   +Surgical Procedures- Warning somewhat graphic
Jump to:  

Help, I'm a Newbie!
Search
Recent
Stats
Members
Total Members: 990
Latest: Ryvic Darkveil
Stats
Total Posts: 140937
Total Topics: 10685
Online Today: 56
Online Ever: 125
(21 June 2007, 19:36:12)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 14
Total: 15

ShoutBox!
Last 10 Shouts:
Seeker
Yesterday at 07:41:35
Are Shabby and Dek the same person in my mind.  Strange.
Artimidor Federkiel
20 May 2012, 10:38:19
Ah yes, forgot to point out to Shabakuk that Chapter 5 is ready for testing - will do so now!
Deklitch Hardin
18 May 2012, 09:35:51
I am pleased it is going well for you though Seeker ... can't wait to try it and die. :D
Deklitch Hardin
18 May 2012, 09:35:13
No, I didn't Seeker. :( I think it is Master Anfang who is doing the testing
Seeker
18 May 2012, 08:30:42
Dek-   shoals is going very well.  Art is starting on chapter 6. A very important chapter.  Did you test chapter 5?
Valan Nonesuch
15 May 2012, 05:41:48
*Valan filches some parchments from around the corners of the pile before sauntering off attempting to look casual and tripping over the hem of his robes.*
Bard Judith
14 May 2012, 07:33:29
Waiiiiiit!   (Bard staggers back with a pile of Unfinished Projects so high her arms are trembling)  Let me stuff mine in there before you lock the room!  *looks guiltily around and snatches the Quenyss parchment off the top of the stack*
Deklitch Hardin
13 May 2012, 08:12:31
and throw the key into the deepest river we can find, or the midst of one of the volcanoes
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
13 May 2012, 03:19:29
Then I say we lock the Unfinished Projects room.  If Arti ever gets in there.... big trouble. rolleyes
Deklitch Hardin
13 May 2012, 02:54:30
I'm amazed you can see the Altario projects pile considering it is dwarfed by my unfinished projects. For which I apologise.
Show last 50
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.16 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc 		Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx