Arine falcon

Dreamer's Code
Bellring a Member
Report Mistakes/Typos
Report Easter Eggs

About Masterplans
Santhworld: Program
Santhworld: Lorehold
Santhworld: Nepris
Santhworld: Trivia
Santharia: Manthria
Nybelmar: Zhunite Pl.
Sarvonia: Icelands

World Map Overview
Distances in Caelereth
Climate Map of Sarvonia
Continent: Aeruillin
Continent: Akdor
Continent: Cyhalloi
Continent: Nybelmar
Continent: +Details NE
Continent: +Details NW
Continent: +Details SE
Continent: +Details SW
Continent: +Politics
Continent: Sarvonia
Lands: Icelands
Lands: +Tribes
Lands: Caael'heroth
Lands: Iol Peninsula
Lands: Kanapans
Lands: Kuglim Lands
Kingdom: Santharia
Kingdom: +Ancient
Kingdom: +Provinces
Kingdom: +Rivers
Kingdom: +Routes
Details: Manthria
Details: Ráhaz-Dáth
Details: Silvermarshes

Create Beasts
Create Plants
Create Races/Tribes
Create People
People Nomenclature
Create Places
Create Gods, Myths...
Create Spells/Magic
Create Library Entries
Create Misc. Stuff

Reserving Resources
Arbaon Pictures
Bard Judith Pictures
Eratin Pictures
Faugar Pictures
Grunok's Pictures
Ingeborg Pictures
Isilhir Pictures
Koldar Pictures
Linda Tso Pictures
Quellion Pictures
Quellion Pictures II
Shayan's Pictures
Seeker Pictures
Sheil Pictures
Sheil Pictures II

Proverbs & Sayings
Styrásh (Elvish)
Thergerim (Dwarvish)
Kuglimz'Seitre
Kh'omchr'om (Orcish)
Trollish

[Researcher thale]

my new
seths ideas my words
bard Judith's suggestions
Arine Falcon

The Arine Falcon is a extremely fast bird of prey, which is found flying over much of Southern Sarvonia from Celeste mountains to the boarders of the Rahaz-Dath desert. They have often been domesticated to be used as hunting birds to keep rabbits and other rodents out of farmers fields. They are named after the elvish word for strike a name given for their fast, sudden dives to grab their prey.

Appearance

“The scariest thing you can come across in a pleasant place”. With their fierce streamlined body and sharp threatening talons it is not hard to see why they are feared by many. When - uncommonly - they are standing on two legs a adult female reach and height of two fores although some have been recorded 3 fores tall. All this hard lean body is wrapped in short well-kept crimson feathers that keep it warm in the winter but let it stay cool in summer. They have amber eye surrounded by yellow feathers which are very keen, able to see their prey from up to two strals away. Their wing span is 3 fores at full span so they can glide for ages with little stress. The wings are pointed at the tips a feature used to perform brilliant dives. The talons are long and curled to catch their target and hold it until it is ready to eat.

Special Abilities

The most impressive ability is their blisteringly fast speeds. Dropping hundreds of peds in seconds to catch prey spotted from far away, is the norm from these birds. They are one of the fastest bird on or over the Sarvonian continent, however what they gain in speed they lose in flexibility, once they start diving they have great difficulty changing direction so much that often in strong winds they have been blown into tress or rocks. They achieve such great by freefalling from a very great height, normally half a stral.

Another asset they have ready is extremely good eyesight; they are believed to be able to see mice or rats from two strals away give or take a few dashes. It is common folklore that their eyes are shaped like the glass farseer causing their great eyesight, a idea proven wrong ages ago but not told to many.

Territory
Although they can live anywhere in Southern Sarvonia, their preferred habitat is the vibrant Alianian Hills, as they are perfect breeding grounds for the rodents that they prey on. Generally the sky over the Alianian hills is held by a female in its prime while males and young birds a forced to less fertile lands. Plains or steppes are it habitat as its hunting method relies on nothing blocking the space between it and its prey.

Behaviour

Normally they are solitary creatures only interacting when in mating season or in disputes over territory. When they cross paths they will send out threatening calls to frighten of the other bird. If this fails they starting showing their flying ability by diving close to the ground. Only if both of these fail will they fight. First they will begin to circle each other, working out the weakness of their opponent and their strengths. Then often they will feint attacks before coming to blows to try and scare the other bird into running away. Once they are ready to fight they give harsh calls and fly at each other, once they have given their call they either win or die

Diet
They generally prefer to eat nothing bigger than a small rabbit but if times are hard they have been seen with leverets and coa-coas. For those who live on the Alianian hills the Tarep is a favourite food due to the fact the rabbits inhabit the same area. Mice are often caught although in huge numbers due to their tiny size. The weirdest thing caught by the Falcons is grass snakes; the snakes slow speed makes them prime targets for lunch in an Aríne’s eye. Other birds have rarely been taken by the Arine but birds can escape much easier than any other animal. One thing they never eat is carrion as often it gives them sickness or other health issues. To make the actual kill they dropped the prey to stun it then slash its throat with their dreaded talons.  

Mating

At high summer the females start to spray out pleasant scent marking (called “the perfume of the hills” by the hobbits) from high in the air to attract males to them. The sent can waft for unto 10 strals before it becomes to diluted.  It is often called the smell of change by the hobbits of the Alianian hills, as soon after it is smelt leaves begin to darken and fall. The month or so after the spraying the males begin to perform for the female's approval. The strongest and fastest is allowed to breed with the female. After that the males are chased away and eggs are laid on a high cliff or a tall tree. The eggs hatch in mid spring and their mother spends the next two years teaching them to survive until the mating season.

Myth/lore

In many tales told by the Dogodan Halfings the Falcons are meant to be silent yet watchful guardians that will attack and trouble any wrong doer they see. In rumours of giant red falcons sweeping down to assist hobbits held up by bandit’s a told when really drunk. It is often used to symbolize the wind, most of the time it glides like a gentile breeze but then it plummets downwards like a sudden fierce gale.[/color]

Usage

Used as birds of prey to hunt rodents in farmers fields or simply for the joy of seeing them fly they have been domesticated by many different peoples. A large strong leather glove is required to control this powerful predator as well as a great amount or training.The bird will sit on a man hand until spotting a target, and will return the kill to it's master Although Southern Sarvonia they are used to keep farmers fields free from pests. Many Centoraurians use one around breeding time to attack foxes that may prey on young livestock. Although they cannot kill foxes they do scare them of by eying them from up high. their red features are highly prised by many artisans due to their rich colour and texture. some hobbits have tried catching the scent in a bag but this often has failed.

[Jonael Tomeskrift]

Heya Thale, welcome to the Bestiary ^^

This is a nice even bird you made here. I must say I'm real glad you didn't fall for the niche most newbies fall for, which is designing a beast that's so impressive and unique that it often has problems fitting in. On the other hand, I'd say that while the bird you have here is beautifully even, it is also a little bland. It's missing a bit of spice, something that stands out as a tasty morsel to the reader... I'd recommend fleshing out some of your sections with a bit more narrative and description of just how they achieve the feats you've mentioned so far. (sorry for all the food references... I'm just having my dinner, haha)

I'll leave ya with that task just now, give it a try and if nothing comes up or you're stuck we'll have a brainstorm together, see what we can come up with. All in all what's there's a nice solid skeleton for an entry, well done

EDIT: I'm also putting this back to work in progress since there's still some work to be done

[Bard Judith]

I don't know, Jonael... don't you think gambling falcons are pretty impressive?

Quote:  "The most impressing ability is their blisteringly fast dices."   

I'd stay away from games of chance with these birds, gotta say....

[Researcher thale]

thanks for the comments, have stopped their gambling habit and added and improved the entry

[Bard Judith]

(gives Thale an aura for having a sense of humour)

[seth ghibta]

Hi Thale! First, well done on an excellent start, this is a well rounded bird and you've clearly a fair bit of knowledge on how your falcon works. seeing as you've added stuff according to Jonael's comments, I'm assuming it's ready for comments again, but if not feel free to ignore these/ use them when you're ready. grammar/spelling stuff (admittedly my spelling is awful) in pink, other notes (feel free to ignore, they will mainly just be suggestions) in yellow.

Arine Falcon

The Arine Falcon is a extremely fast bird of prey, which is found flying over much of Southern Sarvonia from Celeste mountains to the boarders of the Rahaz-Dath desert. They have often been domesticated to be used as hunting birds to keep rabbits and other rodents out of farmers fields. They are named after the elfish word for strike and< strike; a name... name given for their fast, sudden dives to grab their prey.

Appearance

“The scariest thing you can come across in a pleasant place”. With their fierce streamlined body and sharp threatening talons it is not hard to see why they are feared by many. When - uncommonly - they are standing on two legs a adult female reach and height of two fores although some have been recorded 3 fores with some really big ones. All this hard lean body is wrapped in short well-kept crimson feathers that keep it warm in the winter but let it stay cool in summer. (wow, giant red falcons, briliant! What I would suggest is that generally speaking big birds of prey are hawks, kites, eagles, so it might help to avoid confusion if you emphasize that this bird is a falcon. do they have pointed wings and a small blunt head like a falcon, or is it just their amazing dives that mark them out as falcons? They have amber eye surrounded by yellow feathers which are very keen, able to see their prey from up to two strals away. Their wing span is 3 fores at full span so they can glide for ages with little stress. The talons are long and curled to catch their target and hold it until it is ready to eat.

 Special Abilities

The most impressing<impressive? ability is their blisteringly fast speeds. Dropping hundreds of peds in seconds to catch prey spotted from far away, is the norm from these birds. They are one of the fastest bird on or over the Sarvonian continent, however what they gain in speed they lose in flexibility, once they start diving they have great difficulty changing direction so much that often in strong winds they have been blown into tress or rocks. nicely thought out, well done.They achive such great by freefalling from a very great hight, normal half a stral.[/color]

Another asset they have ready is extremely good eyesight; they are believed to be able to see mice or rats from two strals away give or take a few dashes. It is common folklore that their eyes are shaped like the glass telescopes causing their great eyesight, a idea proven wrong ages ago but not told to many. this is a lovely detail, and a reason that I'd love to see a myth/lore section on this entry. I am, admittdly, biased in this respect, as I think no entry is complete without some weird story attached. but nonetheless I would, if I were you, consider a short myth/lore section. a large, bright red bird is very likely to attract some sort of smbolic worth among people, especialy if it is feared, as you say in the appearance section. maybe an omen of ill-luck? have a look at what people live near its habitat, see if anything strikes you.

Territory
Although they can live anywhere in Southern Sarvonia<comma here? their preferred habitat is the vibrant Alianian Hills, as they are perfect breeding grounds for the rodents  that they prey on. Generally the sky over the Alianian hills is held by a female in it’s<no apostrophe needed prime while males and young birds a forced to less fertile lands. Plains or steppes are it habitat as it’s<ditto hunting method relies on nothing blocking the space between it and it’s<and again, I'm just as bad, honestly. running it throufgh a spellchecker might help prey.

Behaviour

Normally they are solitary creatures only interacting when in mating season or in disputes over territory. When they cross paths they will send out threatening caws (oh! just realised, don't think you have notes of their calls in the appearance section - not necessary by any stretch of the imaginatuion, but it might add some extra depth) to frighten of the other bird. If this fails they starting showing their flying ability by diving close to the ground. Only if both of these fail will they fight. First they will begin to circle each other, working out the weakness of their opponent and their strengths. Then often they will feint attacks before coming to blows to try and scare the other bird into running away. Once they are ready to fight they give harsh calls and fly at each other, once they have given their call they either win or die. That is a lovely way to put it, and another slightly mythic sort of touch?

Diet
They generally prefer to eat nothing bigger than a small rabbit but if times are hard they have been seen with hares and pigeons. coa-coa and leveret are more santharian termsFor those who live on the Alianian hills the Tarep Rabbit is a favourite food due to the fact the rabbits inhabit the same area. Mice are often caught although in huge numbers due to their tiny size. The weirdest thing caught by the Falcons is grass snakes; the snakes slow speed makes them prime targets for lunch in an Aríne’s eye. Other birds have rarely been taken by the Arine but birds can escape much easier than any other animal. One thing they never eat is carrion as often it gives them sickness or other health issues. How do they eat - can they eat on the wing or do they have to land? do they swallow some prey whole or pluck/skin it first? feel free to ignore these, they're just suggestions as to how you might add extra detail.

Mating

At high summer the females start to spray out scent marking from high in the air to attract males to them. The sent can waft for unto 10 strals before it becomes to diluted. that's a brilliant touch. can't help wondering, is it noticeable tyo passers-by? can't be fun to find yourself covered in falcon-scent It is often called the smell of change by the hobbits of the Alianian hills, as soon after it is smelt leaves begin to darken and fall. Nice integration, well done! The month or so after the spraying the males begin to perform for the female's approval. The strongest and fastest is allowed to breed with the female. After that the males are chased away and eggs are laid on a high cliff or a tall tree. The eggs hatch in mid spring and their mother spends the next two years teaching them to survive until the mating seasonfull stop.

you said near the top they're sometimes domesticated for hunting and pest control. that might make a short Usages section? things like how easily they are tamed, what sort of working or companion animals they make might be good to see. and, as I mentioned (read "whined") before, I'd personally love to see a little myth/lore section, though don't feel you have you have to. If you're uncertain where to go with that sort of thing, feel free to ask, or have a look at entries already on the compendium. Anyway, this is a very good start Thale, aura from me for getting onto it so quickly and thoroughly!

[Bard Judith]

Bright red feathers would be of interest to our amantry industry, hatters, and the like.  The scent might be of interest as a very exotic / expensive ingredient in perfumery.   Also as a reagent for Wind spells or incantations involving speed or agility?

Can they be trained to the wrist, like most birds of prey? 

[Researcher thale]

thanks to seth and bard Judith for their comments, have put some of the ideas into the entry.

[Artimidor Federkiel]

You still working on this one, Thale? Cause it looks quite good already, doesn't it? I'm trying to collect entries for this week's update, so whatever can be considered finished, I'll see to get in!

[Researcher thale]

i would say that the entry is ready for posting, it's finished now. thanks for helping everyone

[Valan Nonesuch]

Not without one last once-over

The Arine Falcon is a extremely fast bird of prey, which is found flying over much of Southern Sarvonia from the Celeste mountains to the boarders of the Rahaz-Dath desert. They have often been domesticated to be used as hunting birds to keep rabbits and other rodents out of farmers fields. They are named after the elfvish word for strike, a name given for their fast, sudden dives to grab their prey.

Appearance

“The scariest thing you can come across in a pleasant place”. Can we attribute this quote to anyone? a look at The Unentried People List suggests two names off the bat: Kli’ven Poul and Worril Sayan With their fierce streamlined body and sharp threatening talons it is not hard to see why they are feared by many. When - uncommonly - they are standing on two legs a adult female reach and height of two fores although some have been recorded 3 fores with some really big ones "really big ones?" are we talking about a fish you just caught? It seems rather out of place. All this hard lean body is wrapped in short well-kept crimson feathers that keep it warm in the winter but let it stay cool in summer. They have amber eye Only one? surrounded by yellow feathers which are very keen because of the way you've put this phrase together, it becomes unclear whether or not it is the feathers or the eye(s?) that are keen), able to see their prey from up to two strals away. Their wing span is 3 fores at full span so they can glide for ages with little stress. The wings are pointed at the tips a feature used to perform brilliant dives. The talons are long and curled to catch their target and hold it until it is ready to eat.

Special Abilities

The most impressive ability is their blisteringly fast speeds. Dropping hundreds of peds in seconds to catch prey spotted from far away, is the norm from these birds. They are one of the fastest birds on or over the Sarvonian continent, however what they gain in speed they lose in flexibility, once they start diving they have great difficulty changing direction, so much so that often in strong winds they have been blown into tress or rocks.SPACEThey achieve such great by freefalling from a very great height, normally half a stral.

Another asset they have ready is extremely good eyesight; they are believed to be able to see mice or rats from two strals away give or take a few dashes. It is common folklore that their eyes are shaped like the glass telescopes changing "telescope" to "farseer" (the Santharian name of the exact same device) would be a nice touch causing their great eyesight, a idea proven wrong ages ago but not told to many. We're working with renaissance level technology, so this sort of statement doesn't really make sense. The dissection an examination on that level of something like an eye is probably beyond us. Best to leave it out

Territory
Although they can live anywhere in Southern Sarvonia, their preferred habitat is the vibrant Alianian Hills, as they are perfect breeding grounds for the rodents that they prey on. Generally the sky over the Alianian hills is held by a female in its apostrophe needed prime while males and young birds a forced to less fertile lands. Plains or steppes are its habitat as its hunting method relies on nothing blocking the space between it and its prey.

Behaviour

Normally they are solitary creatures only interacting when in mating season or in disputes over territory. When they cross paths they will send out threatening calls to frighten of the other bird. If this fails they starting showing their flying ability by diving close to the ground. Only if both of these fail will they fight. First they will begin to circle each other, working out the weakness of their opponent and their strengths. Then often they will feint attacks before coming to blows to try and scare the other bird into running away. Once they are ready to fight they give harsh calls and fly at each other, once they have given their call they either win or die.
Where do they make their nests? What of?

Diet
They generally prefer to eat nothing bigger than a small rabbit but if times are hard they have been seen with leverets and coa-coas. For those who live on the Alianian hills the Ttarep Rabbit is a favourite food due to the fact the rabbits inhabit the same area. Mice are often caught although in huge numbers due to their tiny size. The weirdest thing caught by the Falcons is grass snakes; the snakes slow speed makes them prime targets for lunch in an Aríne’s eye. Other birds have rarely been taken by the Arine but birds can escape much easier than any other animal. One thing they never eat is carrion as often it gives them sickness or other health issues. To make the actual kill they dropped the prey to stun it then slash its throat with their dreaded talons.  

Mating

At high summer the females start to spray out pleasant scent marking (called “the perfume of the hills” by the hobbits) from high in the air to attract males to them. The sent can waft for unto 10 strals before it becomes to diluted.  It is often called the smell of change by the hobbits of the Alianian hills, as soon after it is smelt leaves begin to darken and fall. The month or so after the spraying the males begin to perform for the female's approval. The strongest and fastest is allowed to breed with the female. After that the males are chased away and eggs are laid on a high cliff or a tall tree. The eggs hatch in mid spring and their mother spends the next two years teaching them to survive until the mating season.

Myth/lore

In many tales told by the Dogodan Halfings the Falcons are meant to be silent yet watchful guardians that will attack and trouble any wrong doer they see. In rumours of giant red falcons sweeping down to assist hobbits held up by bandit’s are told when really drunk. It is often used to symbolize the wind, most of the time it glides like a gentile breeze but then it plummets downwards like a sudden fierce gale.[/color]

Usage

Used as birds of prey to hunt rodents in farmers fields or simply for the joy of seeing them fly they have been domesticated by many different peoples. A large, strong leather glove is required to control this powerful predator as well as a great amount or training.The bird will sit on a man's hand until spotting a target, and will return the kill to it's master Although Southern Sarvonia they are used to keep farmers fields free from pests. Many Centoraurians use one around breeding time to attack foxes that may prey on young Young what? I presume horses. Although they cannot kill foxes they do scare them of by eyeing them from up high. Their red features are highly prized by many artisans due to their rich colour and texture. Some hobbits have tried catching the scent in a bag but this often has failed.

My notes:
You're using "They" and "It" quite a bit. Replacing some of the "they"s with "The falcon"(s) or "the Arine" would improve the entry. As it is, this makes it boring and uninteresting to read, much like a list.

As a rule, we use British english spellings here, for the sake of flavour. Don't worry yourself too much about it, but if people ask you to alter things to include British spellings, they are right to do so.

Also as a rule, don't capitalize the names of other plants or animals. Tribes and peoples (Centoraurian, Dogodan hobbits) are capped, but races usually aren't.

There's a few cases where you're using very colloquial language. I'd avoid it if you can. "really big one" for instance could be easily replaced by "very large examples" so that it doesn't ruin the tone you've managed to achieve.

   About this Board
   Dev Introduction
   Developer's 1x1
   Technical Forum Stuff
   Advanced Forum Help
   Testing Thread
   Where's the game?

Advanced search

[Members]

Members Total Members: 990 Latest: Ryvic Darkveil Stats Total Posts: 140952 Total Topics: 10685 Online Today: 51 Online Ever: 125 (21 June 2007, 19:36:12) Users Online Users: 1 Guests: 44 Total: 45 Drasil Razorfang

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Last 10 Shouts: Artimidor Federkiel Yesterday at 23:44:26 The Goltherlon forest is on the site, including a map - right here... Azhira Styralias Yesterday at 23:11:32 Nevermind Azhira Styralias Yesterday at 23:02:30 Quick question: Where is the Goltherion Forest? Seeker 22 May 2012, 07:41:35 Are Shabby and Dek the same person in my mind.  Strange. Artimidor Federkiel 20 May 2012, 10:38:19 Ah yes, forgot to point out to Shabakuk that Chapter 5 is ready for testing - will do so now! Deklitch Hardin 18 May 2012, 09:35:51 I am pleased it is going well for you though Seeker ... can't wait to try it and die. Deklitch Hardin 18 May 2012, 09:35:13 No, I didn't Seeker. I think it is Master Anfang who is doing the testing Seeker 18 May 2012, 08:30:42 Dek-   shoals is going very well.  Art is starting on chapter 6. A very important chapter.  Did you test chapter 5? Valan Nonesuch 15 May 2012, 05:41:48 *Valan filches some parchments from around the corners of the pile before sauntering off attempting to look casual and tripping over the hem of his robes.* Bard Judith 14 May 2012, 07:33:29 Waiiiiiit!   (Bard staggers back with a pile of Unfinished Projects so high her arms are trembling)  Let me stuff mine in there before you lock the room!  *looks guiltily around and snatches the Quenyss parchment off the top of the stack*

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Artimidor Federkiel

[Azhira Styralias]

Azhira Styralias

[Azhira Styralias]

Azhira Styralias

[Seeker]

Seeker

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Artimidor Federkiel

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

[Deklitch Hardin]

Deklitch Hardin

[Seeker]

Seeker

[Valan Nonesuch]

Valan Nonesuch

[Bard Judith]

Bard Judith

[Artimidor]

	Powered by SMF 1.1.16 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream