* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: 1 [2]
Print
Author Topic: Guild of Librarians update  (Read 6453 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #15 on: 12 January 2012, 14:00:27 »

And the beginnings of the history are done. In this case, I believe it's a little prudent to over-elaborate on the history. It's a big block.
There's a prose history and a timeline to go along with it as soon as I've got the latter fleshed out a little more.

Just to be clear Shaba, what might I have missed in the earlier comments? Comments always help me flesh out the bones of these entries. Obviously the issues with R'unorian Government will go in the government Overview (which needs rewriting)

I'm working on getting the name of the XXX tribe figured out, thanks for reminding me of that. If you'd care to lend a hand, I always like seeing new faces at R'unorian Studies.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 192
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.321



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: 13 January 2012, 03:24:54 »

The history looks good to me. Although I have to say that I know nothing about the R'unorian timelines, so all I can check is consistency within the entry.

If you wanted to flesh things out more, you might look for ideas in the Questions and Suggestions I made at the bottom of my first post in this thread. You've added a few sentences about Gatherers since then, which reacts to my first question; the other things I wrote might still be worth considering. However, and as I said, you are under no obligation to address these comments, and there'll be no offence taken if you decide not to do so. It's your entry.
Logged

The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 192
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.321



View Profile
« Reply #17 on: 15 January 2012, 22:57:27 »

So just to be sure, Valan:

You are planning to extend the history, yes? 'Coz otherwise you could have a blarrow, of course, save for that XXX tribe/caste you need to name. :)
Logged

The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #18 on: 15 January 2012, 23:51:51 »

Yes, there's a few other details I want to see about sorting out, and the history stops kind of abruptly a little after Santhros, which bugs me a little.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 857



View Profile
« Reply #19 on: 16 January 2012, 04:30:00 »

Red and orange for errors and comments. Quite a fine-toothed comb, I hope.

Athviaro



Name: R'unorian Guild of Librarians

Overview: Along with the Imperial Court and Guard's Council, the Guild of Librarians is one third of the triumvirate that advises the R'unorian Empress. The Guild of Librarians also performs a function similar to both the Enkyklopadië Nybelmarnica or the Compendium of the Santharian Dream "and the Santharian Compendium" is better here, I think. A more realistic way to refer to ourselves. in that it gathers and records information in a scholarly fashion for future use.

Function: The Guild's supposedly impartial ultimate goal is to "acquire all knowledge of things physical, intellectual, and spiritual I'd put a comma here, but it's very much a matter of style. and to preserve this knowledge for the benefit of future generations". In order to accomplish this, the Guild gathers and records information from wars, to fashion to philosophy to new methods of cooking, and stores it in the Great Library of Glara.Would a better way to phrase this be something along the lines of "from wars to fashion, from philosophy to new methods of cooking, and..." If you do it the way you have, you'll end up overdoing the commas  or underdoing them.
In practice, the Guild is one-third of the R'unorian Triumvirate that advises the Empress.Did you know that a member of a triumvirate is a triumvir? Not really relevant, but an interesting titbit. The various branches and organs of the Guild of Librarians act in R'unor's interest in matters of trade with foreign nations,You need something here to make this work grammatically. The easiest would be to insert "as well as", but you could do "...nations. They also conduct..." if you prefer that.conducting the census of the kingdom, the education of its peoples and, if rumour is to be believed, espionage.

Organization: The organization of the Guild of Librarians is much like that of the Sarvonian Compendium in some respects. At the base of the Guild is the "laity", a workforce of people who produce food, paper, ink and other things as required by the Guild.

Above these are various apprentices, those who work to copy and collect Would "collate" be a better second verb here? the notes produced by the Guild's gatherers or various colleges. The apprentices are responsible for the legwork in keeping the Great Library organized, among other duties, in order to familiarize themselves with the workings of the Guild. More senior apprentices may be assigned to synthesize notes into an acceptable summary to be included in one of many indices. Apprentices are formally approached by the various colleges of the Guild for induction into their ranks.When? Are there entry criteria? This sentence feels like it needs a little more to complete the idea.

The gatherers are the eyes and ears of the Guild of Librarians. They are its agents in Nybelmar and Sarvonia You may want a comma here. Up to you. and are also the source of income for the Guild.The source of income or a source of income? I presume the Guild has some measure of control over taxation, for example. Many of the gatherers are merchants of one sort or another, and send goods or monies back to the Guild with their reports. Through these and other influential connections the Guild controls a significant proportion of R'unor's trade with the outside world. The Guild possesses the best contacts, information and maps of locations outside No "of" here. of R'unor and so has an advantage when it comes to trade. A gatherer is not necessarily a particularly learned person, merely one who knows what sort of information or articles might be of interest to the Guild. Indeed, most gatherers often have no concept the value of some of the items or information they procure.

Above these are the Librarians, who maintain the Great Library and its records. The librarians organize themselves into four broad colleges, based on specific areas of expertise.

The College of Mechanists is dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge of mechanisms and their improvement, as well as advances in metallurgy, architecture, masonry and woodcraft. They count famed inventor Gregory Firelance among their number, and are partly responsible for constructing the mechanical hand used by Empress Kirvosa Flameseer.

The College of Alchemists is dedicated to the craft of alchemy and its associated schools, as well as knowledge of medical arts and techniques. The College of Alchemists operates hospices Hospital is an older and more Santharian-sounding word; furthermore, if the Alchemists are healers, they would not work in a hospice, which is predominantly a place where people go to be comfortable before inevitable death rather than a house of treatment. in major R’unorian cities, and is responsible for training many R'unorian healers.

The College of Magi studies, but does not teach or learn, magic. The construction that makes the most sense here is "Members of the College of Magi study, but do not teach or learn, magic." or "Members of the College of Magi study the magical arts, although they do not practise them." They are also, strangely, interested in the study of religions and spirituality. The College of Magi has been responsible for collecting the scriptures of the? R'unorian deities into three books (the Book of the Skies, the Book of the Seas and the Book of the Stones respectiveRespectively, but to be honest it's redundant here. I'd prefer dropping the brackets and respective/respectively, and using a dash after "books").

The College of Travellers studies living thingsI reckon a colon here, thus "living things: plants, animals..." or another dash. Up to you. A semicolon might be all right as well., plants, animals, races and tribes. They also research politics, cultures and customs. They catalogue and dissect animals, study agriculture, and observe festivals and other peoples in order to construct a complete profile. The Travellers are the largest of the colleges and also spend the most time abroad.

How freely is information shared between the colleges? Do the Magi and the Travellers work together to examine religion, for example?

Each college appoints from its own ranks ten Librarians Omnibus, who form the Guild's council to the Empress. These then elect from their own number a single Speaker, who leads and moderates the group. The Librarians Omnibus lead the Guild as a whole and give direction to each of the colleges. To avoid confusion, the Speaker and Librarians Omnibus are referred to as a whole as The Omnibus.

The Omnibus nominally advises the Empress, alongside the Imperial Court and Guard's Council. Since the end of the reign of Mogh, the triumvirate that advises the Empress also hasTo avoid a tense shift, "...Empress has also had..." the ability to veto her decisions if two thirds of the triumvirate agreesagree to do so. While this may seem to place the power in the hands of the advisors to the Empress, it is rare that these groups agree amongst themselves, let alone with one another. [1]

Appearance: The Guild's lay people "members"? "laity"? "people" doesn't seem to work.wear no special garb, nor do the gatherers. Apprentices are given dark red robes marked with a pair of grey stripes down the back and front, which serve as a uniform. Full librarians have similar dark red robesI think a comma here though these lack stripes. The Librarians Omnibus are awarded a silver medallion with the Guild Seal emblazoned on it, while the Speaker wears a silver mantle over his or her robe.

Guild gatherers can be of almost any race, tribe or profession, though as a rule gatherers in foreign lands tend to be sailors or merchants of one sort or another. The ranks of apprentices and librarians are largely populated by R’mart and XXX, and this filters up to the ranks of the Librarians Omnibus.
[Remove Extra Space]

Coat of Arms: The seal of the Guild of Librarians is a stylized vashkoon head, one eye replaced with a sunburst, encircled by three curving lines that each end in a spiral. The coat of arms, or elements of it, features prominently in the architecture of the Library Towers. Each symbolno comma, is intended to represent one of the R'unorian gods. The vashkoon head represents Hel’fik, while the sunburst represents Gorgamoth. The curving lines are intended to represent the tendrils of MurlarPerhaps a comma here who attempts to hide secrets.
On the reverse, where applicable, are often written the words "All the knowledge in the world is already known"comma the motto of the Guild.

I'd like a little bit about Hel'fik and Gorgamoth like what you wrote about Murlar. Just a phrase, like I mentioned in the IRC.

Location: The Guild of Librarians is housed in the Great Library on the island of Glara, a short distance southwest from the city of R'unor.

History:
The Guild of Librarians traces its history back to a minor R'mart family called Glara, and its household Either no comma after Glara or a comma after household. that "Which", I think, would be better. fled the isle of R'unor during the Glorious Reclamation, in which the combined forces of the R'mart and Blaar'kr subjugated the orcs of R'unor.

Their crude ship reached a small islet south of the main island,Comma here is debatable. but foundered soon afterwards, beaten to scraps by the surf, leaving both the family and household stranded.

This sentence needs to be put into the past, otherwise it's fairly nonsensical.Despite the comparative adversity, the family survives and constructs what would become the basis of settlement on the island, and the beginning of the Library itself. Delete space It is common among R'mart to keep a tome of collected knowledge, a car'ido, which preserves the wisdom of generations past. The Glaran Car'ido marked the earliest known comprehensive record of flora or fauna of R'unor, and certainly the oldest surviving example of any such attempt. Following the Unification of R'unor, the contingent that arrived on Glara was surprised to find a thriving, if minute, settlement, which was quickly incorporated into the burgeoning kingdom.

The Guild of Librarians was formally formed following the unification of the Kingdom of R'unor itself in 2997 b.S.Another full stop here, as the previous one is part of a word, as it were. Construction of the Great Library had begun in 3172 b.S.I reckon a comma here but the structure was soon found to be too small to house the rapidly growing collection, and additions were needed. Construction began anew in 3003 b.S.Again, I think a comma with the formal completion of the Great Library in 962 b.S.


ca. 3251 b.S. The Glara of R'unor flee the beginnings of the Glorious Reclamation.
A small R'mart family flees R'unor in a crude boat, which lands on what would become known as the island of Glara, and founders there, stranding them.

ca. 3250-3245 b.S. Settlement of Glara begins.
The Glara, lacking the means to build a boat, begin to settle on the island, constructing the beginnings of a small community.

3230 b.S. R'unorian explorers arrive on Glara.
A R'unorian expeditionary force arrives on Glara and is surprised to find the settlement there.

3229 b.S. Glara joins R'unor.
A formal invitation to join the burgeoning Kingdom of R'unor is extended and accepted by Glara.This means that Glara both extends and accepts the offer. You could put a comma after "extended", or put "extended to Glara and immediately accepted" or other rephrasing of your choice.

3178 b.S. First gatherers dispatched to the Isle of R'unor.
The first gatherers are sent to R'unor as part of the military forces consolidating control of the Isle of R'unor.

3172 b.S. Construction begins on the First Library.
Construction of the first building intended to house the records of the fledgling guild begins

3100 b.S. Construction of the First Library Completed.
The First Library is completed and soon proves incapable of housing all the information intended for it.

3003 b.S. Construction of the Great Library Begins.

2997 b.S. The Guild of Librarians Formed.
The Guild of Librarians is inducted formally Into what?.

2962 b.S. The Great Library Completed.

2036 b.S. College of Alchemists Formed.

1957 b.S. College of Mechanists Formed.

1402 b.S. College of Magi Formed.

1005 b.S. College of Travellers Formed.

938 b.S. The Omnibus Formed.
The Omnibus is formed to govern and direct the assorted Colleges.

45-60 a.S. The Bloodied Empress Reigns.
Vanawe Turtleblessed, the Bloodied Empress, reigns over R'unor. Her campaign of cruelty against orcs eventually sparks an uprising which leads to her death. Many orcs flee to the more outlying islands, or take refuge with one of the guilds.

61 a.S. Orcish Uprising.
Mogh the Half-Orcen leads a bloody uprising against the Empress, beginning with an or theaudacious capture of the city of R'unor itself, and ending with her flayed corpse being paraded through the streets.

61- 89 a.S. Reign of Mogh.
Mogh implements a number of cultural reforms, which includes granting greater freedoms to the guilds of R'unor.This works, grammatically, but it looks like it's not going to. Perhaps that's me being a bit overly picky, but perhaps "...reforms, including greater freedoms for the guilds..." would be acceptable, as that alleviates it. Several of the guilds take this opportunity to expand beyond R'unor for their own safety.

88-89 a.S. Flameseer Rebellion.
Kirvana the Flameseer begins a rebellion against the Emperor Mogh, culminating in the Flameseer herself storming the gates of the Imperial Palace and throwing Mogh to an angry mob.

90 a.S. The Flameseer Ascends.
Kirvana is formally crowned Empress of R'unor. Her first act as Empress limits the power of future rulers through the creation of a triumvirate council to advise the Empress.

90 a.S. Creation of the Triumvirate.
The Guild of Librarians' OmnibusNot technically correct. Since the Guild is a single entity, I don't think that it should be The Guild of Librarians'. You could put "the Guild's" or "the Guild of Librarians's". Alternatively, just put "The Librarians Omnibus" or "The Omnibus"., Imperial Court and Guard's Council form the Triumvirate by imperial order to advise, aid, and if necessary, comma before "if" or none before "the" limit the Empress.

[1]The compendiumist digresses that the entry must contain a cursory explanation of R'unorian politics in order to be as clear as possible to the reader. This explanation has been largely simplified to avoid becoming a treatise on R'unorian government which would surely exceed the normal and natural length of an entry of this scope.
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #20 on: 29 January 2012, 05:02:26 »

Finished! I think.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 192
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.321



View Profile
« Reply #21 on: 30 January 2012, 06:59:56 »

Bravo!  :D

But you haven't addressed Athviaro's comments yet, unless I am very much mistaken?
Logged

The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #22 on: 30 January 2012, 07:20:32 »

Yes, Ath indicated that. I'm working through them at the moment.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #23 on: 03 February 2012, 15:26:27 »

Believe I've covered all of Ath's fixes.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 192
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.321



View Profile
« Reply #24 on: 04 February 2012, 07:27:14 »

Splendid! Good work!

Two tiny things:

Quote
Above these are various apprentices, who work to copy and collate the notes produced by the Guild's gatherers or various colleges. The apprentices are responsible for the legwork in keeping the Great Library organized, among other duties in order to familiarize themselves with the workings of the Guild. More senior apprentices may be assigned to synthesize notes into an acceptable summary to be included in one of many indices. Apprentices are formally approached by the various colleges of the Guild for induction into their ranks. [Space here] The criteria varies between the colleges but usually involves the apprentice personally collecting and synthesizing information about something new. This process can take quite a while and not all apprentices survive the ordeal or return to the Great Library afterwards.
... 'The criteria varies' is bad grammar, because criteria is the plural of criterion. You could say: "The criteria vary ..., but usually involve ...". Or maybe, instead of criteria: "The manner of examining the worthiness (or otherwise) of an apprentice varies between colleges, but usually involves ..."
Logged

The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #25 on: 05 February 2012, 01:13:11 »

And mended. I also noticed I'd neglected another of Ath's comments, hopefully that all works out.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 192
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.321



View Profile
« Reply #26 on: 05 February 2012, 01:22:51 »

Quote
Apprentices are formally approached by the various colleges of the Guild for induction into their ranks.The criteria vary between the colleges but usually involves the apprentice
... Old chap! You still need a space in the yellow bit and though you changed 'varies' to 'vary', you didn't change 'involves'.

But it's all minor stuff, which I trust I can rely on you to attend to. So I bestow a blarrow and congratulatory aura!

Logged

The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Valan Nonesuch
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.510


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #27 on: 05 February 2012, 01:25:37 »

Solved it again!  :D
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 857



View Profile
« Reply #28 on: 05 February 2012, 02:58:22 »

*Concurs in congratulatory aura*

*Valan has broken 100*
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Pages: 1 [2]
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[12 December 2017, 16:17:36]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]

[02 September 2016, 04:06:03]

[02 September 2016, 02:44:27]
Members
Total Members: 1040
Latest: leaftanya12
Stats
Total Posts: 144681
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 54
Online Ever: 226
(06 November 2012, 05:38:23)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 56
Total: 56

Last 10 Shouts:
14 September 2017, 09:40:04
Hello all! It's been a minute since I poked my nose in here. Can't remember if I ever did anything useful.
09 May 2017, 14:17:18
Ah, too bad that internet is so restricted in China, Ferra. Can't be much fun surfing the web that way if Big Brother's watching you... Hope you enjoy your stay nevertheless!
03 May 2017, 17:41:19
Hi, dear Arti and other developers!

This year I am in China and cannot use any Google services including YouTube. For this reason I stopped uploading new Nepris videos. I can also not read any comments there.

It just crossed my mind that this information might be useful to you.

Cheers

F
26 March 2017, 12:48:56
Hello to anyone that might read this. :)
22 December 2016, 02:38:16
Merry Christmas everyone!
29 November 2016, 01:45:48
Hey all!
11 November 2016, 09:19:02
Calling all developers; come help me write the New-Santhala article ^^
15 September 2016, 02:24:10
Still no problems here, Erutan...
14 September 2016, 14:55:28
Still having trouble accessing the RPG side, anyone else? Or is it just me?
27 August 2016, 21:17:33
Short note: We had a bit of downtime Friday/Saturday night due to a server change. Site went online first, message boards took a while longer - now everything should be back to normal.
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx