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Author Topic: The Tandala Depths WIP  (Read 10007 times)
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Jonael Tomeskrift
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« on: 24 May 2011, 06:41:56 »

The idea behind this entry is to open a new sandbox underneath the Tandala Highlands. While this is obviously open to encourage development from everyone, my intention behind this is to create a setting for the Goblin Empire. Once the general space is defined, the next entry will be their territories alone, focussing more on their politics and squabbles, the different powers that hold it, and of course maps! But yeah, as I said, consider this a new sandbox I'd like to invite you all to play in. I'm gonna go easy on the wildlife and fauna sections just now, in the hope that once some entries crop up I can fill those sections with them. Ta much, Jonael

Special thanks to Val who's already 'tearing through' the entry so far ^^

Coast to coast, taking in the vast scale of the Tandala Highlands, it seems almost logical that sooner or later the enormous space underneath this north-sarvonian mountain range would be exploited. Crowned with majestic mountains, the Tandala Highlands stand sentry over the immense natural wealth and mystery that it holds within its belly. Like ants, various races have attempted to conquer these mountains’ interior, amongst them the the mysterious Ylossian Dwarves and more recently the Goblins. Dark and secluded, vast chambers and tunnel systems slither through the Tandala Depths, only briefly rising to the surface and the light of the sun. While in the heyday of the Ylossian Dwarves these passages would have been relatively easy to enter, after the Troll War (488 b.S.) the majority of these entrances were demolished to contain the greenskin threat that moved south through it.

Description
Much like its peaks, the Tandala Depths are a dark raw place. What little alteration occurred at the hands of the Ylossian Dwarves has since settled, crumbled and once more given way to the course of nature. Chambers have collapsed, earth movement has shifted great rocks, causing caverns to be crushed and others to form. While primal and ancient, the belly of the Tandala Highlands is a place where the spirit of survival reverberates through the very rock. From the <animal> to the goblins, both animal and plant have struggled through centuries to gain a foothold in these vast uncontested caverns. Given the enormous range of the Tandala Mountains, it is only natural that its interiors offer a varied display of geology. Closer to where the Rayne and Teiphra Rivers dissect through the mountain ranges, the caverns are known to be damper, often boasting wondrous stalagmites and stalactites. Although it may be hard to believe, given the robust and solid bedrock, caverns north of the Calmarios Forest are known to have been penetrated by roots and other resilient vegetation. Further into the north, and predominantly in the eastern depths of the Tandala Highlands, gems and majestic lakes of lava dominate the earth. Given the rock conditions, some of these sections are so resilient that even simple caves can form impenetrable forces. At the same time this greatly limits the expansionistic nature of the goblins, limiting their progress through natural spaces, while mining and digging are astonishingly complex feats.

Rising tall above all other peaks, the Dragon’s Maw towers, searing into the sky. Much like the peaks, the caverns around the Dragon’s Maw are still populated by horned drakes and dragons, predominantly the earth dragons that make their homes in these rocks. This is one of the main reasons why the Goblin Territories never stretched further into Tandala Depths than just west of the city of Astran. Much like the Tandala Highlands above, the exact reaches of the Tandala Depths are shrouded in mystery and unknown. It is said that in more recent years, the goblins now hold extensive and fairly accurate maps of the ‘recovered’ ylossian caverns and tunnels. Yet even these only use a limited proportion of the Tandala Depths. The secrets of the other areas are guarded by dragons, nature and all forms of other guardians of the depths. Though goblins as a race are still fairly reluctant of contact to outside races (some of whom were once enemies), their self destructive greed and backstabbing nature have resulted in a fair bit of information about the Tandala Depths surfacing.

Geographers and researchers alike speculate that the Goblins have secured an empire that stretches from the Allsiscaey Mountains in the south east, deep under the Rayne River and into north. All the while never straying much further east than Astran, and steering clear of the Dragon’s Maw and the infested caverns that surround this ancient place.

This Tandala mountains wall, before the Third Sarvonian War (298-203 b.S.), was thought to be impassable because of the harsh climates past the foothills. However, orcs from the north eventually found pathways through the Tandalas, believed to have been constructed by the mythical Ylossian Dwarves. After the war, many of these tunnels were destroyed. However, the Gob-ocs have since reopened them and taken residence in the Tandalas. Despite the fact that they have been passed before, many still believe them to be difficult to journey through, and thus the Tandalas mark the northern natural border of the Kingdom of Santharia.

Location
The Tandalas are located on the Northern Santharian border, stretching from the western till the eastern coast. The Tandala depths, though less expansive as the mountain range, stretch under great parts of these mountains. With a lack of consistency the caverns and tunnels form denser systems in some areas, predominantly the east, and more scarce in the west.

It is located south of the Ashmarian Lands, the most prominent part featuring the highest mountains in the highlands, the Dragon’s Maw, just north and east of Nyermersys, the captial of the northernmost Santharian province of Nermeran. The mountains of Tandala move southward and eventually become the Allsiscaey Mountains; whether the Tandala Depths stretch into the womb of these mountains is unknown though.

People
Despite the deep darkness of the Tandala Depths, some races and tribes have attempeted and even succeeded in claiming these vast caverns and tunnels as their own. Initially excavated and turned into a thriving empire, the Ylossian Dwarves called these halls under the mountains their home. After the Third Sarvonian War the tunnels were salvaged and used by the masses of greenskins that then went on to raid the north of the Santharian Kingdom. It is as a consequence of this campaign that the greenskins known as the Gob-Oc Orcs then came to settle in the Tandala Depths, after being pushed back and sealed off towards the end of the Troll War.

     The Gob-Oc Orcs
The Tandala Highlands are home to the Gob-Oc, a tribe of orcs, summarized by the term “goblins”.  They make their home in the intricate network of caverns and tunnels said to have been dug out by the Ylossian dwarves, a more or less mythical dwarven tribe. After the Third Sarvonian War (298-203 b.S.), the Gob-Oc made a home out of these salvaged tunnels. Though the Gob-Oc tend to be a very warlike tribe, they never seem to get in skirmishes with ogres and trolls. As a race they seem much more intent on their own internal struggles, and continuously unearthing more and more treasures and secrets from the Ylossian era. These orcish goblins are known for creating incredible pieces of weaponry out of the rich supply of metals and minerals that exist in these Caverns.

     The Trolls
Though less of a dominant race within the Tandala Depths, the perimeters of this cavern system sometimes house trolls. Predominantly, the Ghereghut (Cave Trolls) and the Kloighut (Mountain Trolls) naturally settle in the caves that exit in the Tandala Highlands. Depending on the size of the caves, these trolls may live in communities of anywhere from two to thirty trolls. Rarely will a troll wander down into the passages and depths below unless they have business with the Gob-Oc Orcs, for trade in goods or weaponry. It is known from goblin accounts that individual Trolls also reside within, deeper into the goblin territories. These individuals are usually under goblin control, be they as guards or henchmen. As the goblin saying goes, “a little bit of troll goes a long way”. Other than the stray individuals though, there exists no permanent tribe of trolls within the Tandala Depths.

     The Ylossian Dwarves (extinct)
The Ylossian Dwarven Clan were an ancient, mythical dwarven tribe that is said to have inhabited the Tandala Depths many thousands of years before Santhros united the southern kingdoms of Sarvonia under his reign. They are said to have worshipped Aephesvil, a dwarven half-god created by Trum'Baroll (the dwarven equivalent to the Santharian God of the Smiths,Urtengor), which brought them wealth as well as their destruction. As many other clans Ylossian dwarfs had nocturnal vision, which is believed to be one of the main reasons for their domination of the Tandala Depths. Remnants of their once grand empire suggest that the caves they lived in were actually kept pitch black. In the time of the goblins, this has now changed. Famous (though as of yet unaccounted for) Ylossian settlements include: Dawi’Amkort and Daln’Grang.

Mythology

- Though many a goblin expedition claims to have found the cave where Aephesvil last stood, most if not all of these claims have been revealed as frauds and weak claims for power and leverage in the goblin society

Flora/Fauna
Though dark and isolated, these caverns hold a variety of plants and wildlife. While scarce, these specimen make up some of the most resilient creatures in Santharia. The harsh conditions in which they live ensure that only the strongest and most adaptable survive.

There are records which suggest that goblins have in fact attempted to cultivate bountiful plants found in the Tandala Highlands within the dark caves they call home. One such plant is the ---. Though the goblins are not very open about the process they followed, it is suggested that they slowly cultivated these along corridors, slowly drawing them deeper and deeper into the tunnels until the plants became reasonably adapted to the darkness and climate.

Resources
The Tandala Depths are rich in natural resources, as both ores and precious stones. It’s raw depths, to a large extent untouched by its short list of inhabitants, provide only to the determined though. Though abundant resources are well kept within the rock. The Ylossian Dwarves learned to carve through this rock and were rewarded with vast resources which sustained them and made them wealthy. The goblins, now residents of these depths, have made various attempts at efficiently mining the ores and precious stones found here. To outside knowledge though they have yet to succeed in achieving a level of mining that may be deemed a ‘successful industry’.

Regardless of their level of efficiency though, the Gob-Oc have learnt to thrive on these natural resources, using them to aid them in repairing salvaged items and constucts, presumably from the dwarves. Metals are often mined from the mountains and used for making weaponry, usually iron and coal which are found relatively close to the surface. Precious stones and crystals found here include the Dasthomm (Amethyst), the Oontrom (Ruby) and the Hotron (Garnet). There is also suggestive evidence as to the presence of Mithril in the far recesses of the Tandala Depths, though whether this is true or not, the Goblin’s won’t admit.

It is noteworthy that although the metals and ores are found closer to the surface, goblin mines will never break the surface of the Tandala Mountains. Shafts used for ventilation and natural light may be tediously found, but a mine will never come to the surface. All the mining and relevant operations take place within, keeping access to these resources exclusively to the goblins. This venture appears to have worked for them considering that individual armour and weapons have surfaced into Sarvonia which suggest goblin craftsmanship may come to rival that of the dwarves.

History

ca. 11.000 b.S. The Ylossian Ruin
The first tribe to occupy the Tandala Depths are the Ylossian Dwarves. As the myth is told, Aephesvil, one of the Un’Sthommerons (“the dwarven fathers”), created by Trum’Baroll (Urtengor), carves these dwarves out of the rock of the Tandala Mountains. It is said that Aephesvil stays with his children for many years, trying to protect them, but as time goes on it becomes more and more apparent that the dwarves no longer need his protection. Soon he is no longer being worshipped as he had once been. Given his neglect, his body begins to turn to stone again till he can no longer call out to his children. However, being active in mind, Aephesvil often moves back and forth, trying to draw attention to himself. When trying to catch the attention of a young dwarf, he tips over too much and his body shatters, sending shards of rock across the dark cave floor.

ca. 10.500 b.S. Utt Karaz ("Our War")
The young dwarf, a Dawi’Amkort Ylossian dwarf, is put on trial by the members of his clan for murder. The Daln’Grang, the other clan that lives in the Tandalas and share the tribe name of the Ylossians, begs and pleads that he should be taken off trial. Indeed he is, but not to freedom, but rather to an execution sentence. The Daln’Grang, enraged by this act of injustice, demand that the Dawi’Amkort give over all unmarried women and half their ore or else they will resort to violence. The Daln’Grang draw their weapons and attack the other clan. This war, called the Utt Karaz (“Our War”) lasts approx. 90 years, in which time cities are destroyed, burned, and ravaged. Ylossians die left, right and center, causing the population to dwindle to 150. When offered help from neighboring dwarven tribes, the Ylossians state the war is theirs and turn the aid away.

ca. 10.490 b.S. Ransack of the Tandala Tunnels
Soon the dark elven clan living in the Hovel Frond Forest catches wind of the war occurring deep within the Tandala Depths and, sensing that the divine force within the mountains has vanished, move in for the kill. Once there, they kill dwarven men, women, and children without mercy, leaving none alive. They search for the treasures of Aephesvil. However, even with their superb elvensenses, they cannot find these treasures and depart from the Tandala caves empty-handed. As they leave, they cast a spell on the structures to hide them from both good and evil, so that the treasures should never be found again.

The Age of Awakening (1655 - 822 b.S.)

1650 b.S. The Dragonstorm
A storm of dragons crosses over the Tandala highlands on a quest to avenge the death of the famous adamant dragon named Seargon who is said to be invincible and immortal. This dragon was killed to prove knight Wengerim’s love for Lady Jenefra. The dragons are lead by Ol’dém’bréy, a powerful blue-green dragon. They laid waste to cities and kill hundreds of innocent people as they move towards Voldar where they wage war on the city. It isn’t until the priests of Foiros ask for their God’s help that a cold fall upon Voldar forces the dragons to return to where they came from. Many of the dragons that came from the north settle into the high peaks of the Tandala Mountains, perching there like stalking predators over the southern low-lands. Though their settling had less of an effect on the Tandala Depths as such, many earth dragons though dug deep into the caverns below Dragon's Maw, settling around the pockets of magma lakes and dark cavern systems.

The Age of the Blood (822 - 50 b.S.)

289 b.S. Re-discovering of the Ylossian Mines
During the Third Sarvonia War, entrances to mines are found by orcish warriors flooding into southern Sarvonia from the north. Whether these mines are actually those of the Ylossian dwarves and, if so, how the seal is broken, no one really knows to this day.

188 b.S.   The Great Victory
The Third Sarvonian War is won by the allies, and the orcish invaders are pushed back. It is said more orcs die in the skirmishes among clans than by any other races. Ashz-Oc and the Losh-Oc return to their northern territories. However, orcs having no homeland to return to have no choice but to stay and fight. They flee into the caverns and tunnels they have discovered and use them to invade the southern part of the continent before the allies discover them, whereupon they close them. Those orcs who have not perished make their homes in the caverns and tunnels of the Tandala Depths and thus take the first steps towards forming both the goblin race and territory.

The Age of the Change (50 - 500 b.S.)

300 Emerging from the Dark
Various raids and pillages break out around the northern border by a new orcish invasion. This gives rise to the acknowledgement of a new orcish tribe taking residence in the tunnels and caves of the Tandala Depths.

488 The Troll War
Raids and attacks increase in the coming years before, in 488, an army of approximately 6.000 greenskin warriors attacks from the Troll Mountains, just south of the Tandala Highlands, and connected by various tunnels and passageways now maintained by the greenskins residing within the Tandala Depths, marching in unknown armor and under an unknown flag. Supported by several troll clans, the army kills and pillages, retreating before an army can be formed to stop them. Lord Holm quickly gathers up an army to push the Gob-ocs back. However, when following the retreating orcs into the valleys of the Troll Mountains, Lord Holm and his army fall into a trap, as reinforcements to the orcish army have been waiting for them. Lord Holm and many of his men fall.

Before the orcs can plan a new campaign, reinforcements of the human army arrive from Jernaís and Astran. The orcs are defeated, forced to retreat through the tunnels in which human men can only follow under heavy loss of life. The orcs escape into the darkness and Ximaxian magi are called in and spend half a year destroying 80 strals of tunnel.

523 An Uncontained Threat
Orcs prove formidable in re-opening the miles of tunnels and caverns below the Tandalas, entering through a passageway other than that which was sealed of after the Third Savonian War. After several failed attempts to dislodge the goblins and other greenskins out from the Tandala Depths, the territory is first announced as contested. Soon enough though allies are forced to admit that the Goblins have more than just set up camp within the Tandalas, but rather, have established a thriving empire that stretches far and wide within the Tandalas.
« Last Edit: 27 May 2011, 20:53:10 by Jonael Tomeskrift » Logged

Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #1 on: 25 May 2011, 19:43:52 »

When you get into the history of this, I'll confer with you.  I have some notes somewhere about the SW III era and some battles fought down here that affected Northern development. :D
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« Reply #2 on: 25 May 2011, 21:40:48 »

Haha, psychic, I was actually just having a look at the history section

I don't quite know how to proceed though. Basically since most of the Tandala Highlands History takes place underneath it's surface, it classes as Tandala Depths History too... do I simply copy across and modify in context, or should I leave out bits, etc?

Alt, if you want to swing some of these notes past me, I'm on IRC
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« Reply #3 on: 26 May 2011, 17:16:13 »

Read up on the Caeltakker Keep.

From there, I asked for the rights to expand on Caeltakker (the man) and recieved no objections.  

My ideas for him were that he was an Antislar general, leading troops from the north and given the command of the Ylossian mines.  He is a real piece of work, as the entry states, but in the end will be done in by one of the many women he kidnaps.  She and her lover will devise a scheme to kill Caeltakker and succeed.

As far as his command goes, he is a military genius, and though he is oft attacked by men from the south, Nermerans, he successfully defended the mines and Tandala Depths.

Was going to, but haven't yet, create some good battles and how it was under Caeltakker that many of the tunnels were built for the express purpose of attacking Astran.  This, I have not yet researched completely, so might be contradicted by other entries.  These were just my initial thoughts.

One of the rumours will be that Caeltakker's heart was cut from him, placed within a foundation stone, and embedded within the foundations of Caeltakker Keep.  Thus, the reason for a fortification changing its name from Greyrock Castle to that of an enemy general.

EDIT:  As you are creating this, and my entry is still in the brainstorming phase, you create what is best for you, Jonael, and I will adapt Caeltakker and his role to whatever you make of it.  My ideas are not in any way binding. :D
« Last Edit: 26 May 2011, 17:32:27 by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: 26 May 2011, 18:40:02 »

Well I'm really liking some of the ideas that are there so far. This general seems like a fierce character who would dearly enrich the history of the Tandala Depths.

I only have a concern with one aspect that you suggested: "As far as his command goes, he is a military genius, and though he is oft attacked by men from the south, Nermerans, he successfully defended the mines and Tandala Depths."

I just don't think that having the Tandala Depths succumb to the control of a human general seems right.. this is a hostile dark territory... the ylossian dwarves had to give up their sight in light to control it, the goblins will have countless sacrifices applied to them too in order to call these subterranean lands theirs. It just doesn't sound to me like an environment a human general could have control over that easily, if you know what I mean? How about this though: By human perception, Caeltakkar is given control of the Tandala Depths, and while he is not in full control of it's deep innards, using his cunning and military excellence, with regular raids and skirmish patrols from the surface (possibly eminating from this keep), he ensures that nothing is able to establish itself within the caverns. Thus it can safely be said that he is 'in control' of the Tandalas'.

Raids and expeditions into the dark seem much more viable than to place the humans in there for good. If the timing is right I can then use his demise as the starting point for 'proper' goblin settlement of the Depths? How does all of this sound to you? Would you be willing to compromise in that regard?
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« Reply #5 on: 26 May 2011, 20:35:04 »

I'm good with that.  He was given strategic command of the area, but tactically, he would not be leading any of the underground armies.  :)
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« Reply #6 on: 26 May 2011, 22:17:47 »

I'm good with that.  He was given strategic command of the area, but tactically, he would not be leading any of the underground armies.  :)

Well, he could lead occasional attacks, noteworthy ones which we could then go on to record and write about. All of his encampments and his HQ will remain outside of the mines and caverns, with only small encampments inside of the mines and caverns (and even those not too deep into the Depths) That way we'll be able to give Caeltakker an interesting and powerful campaign while at the same time not damaging the impregnability of the Tandala Depths. Sound good?
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« Reply #7 on: 06 June 2011, 21:51:50 »

URI!

First section only. Rest coming. I'll stay off history until you and Alt finalise that.

As per my usual method, orange is comments and red is grammatical correction. Orange may be vital but with different solutioins; I won't prescribe how you can fix it, but offer ideas

Like it. Like it a lot.

Ath


Coast to coast, taking in the vast scale of the Tandala Highlands, it seems almost logical that sooner or later the enormous space underneath this North Sarvonian mountain range would be exploited. Crowned with majestic mountains, the Tandala Highlands stand sentry over the immense natural wealth and mystery that it holds within its belly. Like ants, various races have attempted to conquer these mountains’ interior, amongst them color=red]the[/color] mysterious Ylossian Dwarves and more recently the Goblins. Dark and secluded, vast chambers and tunnel systems slither through the Tandalan Depths, only briefly rising to the surface and the light of the sun. While in the heyday of the Ylossian Dwarves these passages would have been relatively easy to enter, after the Troll War (488 b.S.) the majority of these entrances were demolished to contain the green-skin threat that moved south through it.

Description
Much like its peaks, the Tandalan Depths are a dark raw place. What little alteration occurred at the hands of the Ylossian Dwarves has since settled, crumbled and once more given way to the course of nature. Chambers have collapsed, earth movement has shifted great rocks, causing caverns to be crushed and others to form. While primal and ancient, the belly of the Tandalan Highlands is a place where the spirit of survival reverberates through the very rock. From the <animal> to the goblins, both animal and plant have struggled through centuries to gain a foothold in these vast uncontested caverns. Given the enormous range of the Tandala Mountains, it is only natural that its interiors offer a varied display of geology. Closer to where the Rayne and Teiphra Rivers Dissect? Not quite the right word, I fear dissect through the mountain ranges, the caverns are known to be damper, often boasting wondrous stalagmites and stalactites. Although it may be hard to believe, given the robust and solid bedrock, caverns north of the Calmarios Forest are known to have been penetrated by roots and other resilient vegetation. Further into the north, and predominantly in the eastern depths of the Tandala Highlands, gems and majestic lakes of lava dominate the earth. Given the rock conditions, some of these sections are so resilient that even simple caves can form impenetrable forces. At the same time this greatly limits the expansionistic nature of the goblins, limiting their progress through natural spaces, while mining and digging are astonishingly complex feats.

Rising tall above all other peaks, the Dragon’s Maw towers, searing into the skyThis is nonsensical. There is no verb. Try cutting the second comma and changing the Present Participle to an indicative verb - sear. Much like the peaks, the caverns around the Dragon’s Maw are still populated by horned drakes and dragons, predominantly the earth dragons that make their homes in these rocks. This is one of the main reasons why the Goblin Territories never stretched further into Tandalan Depths than just west of the city of Astran. Much like the Tandala Highlands above, the exact reaches of the Tandalan Depths are shrouded in mystery and unknown. It is said that in more recent years, the goblins now hold extensive and fairly accurate maps of the ‘recovered’ Should this be Ylossian? ylossian caverns and tunnels. Yet even these only use a limited proportion of the Tandalan Depths. The secrets of the other areas are guarded by dragons, nature and all forms of other guardians of the depths. Though goblins as a race are still fairly "reluctant of" makes no sense. Perhaps "wary of" would be better, but a change should be made. Also, "contact with" not "to". reluctant of contact to outside races Avoid parentheses. Try "races, some of whom..."(some of whom were once enemies), their self destructive greed and backstabbing nature have resulted in a fair bit of information about the Tandalan Depths surfacing.

Geographers and researchers alike speculate that the Goblins have secured an empire that stretches from the Allsiscaey Mountains in the south east, deep under the Rayne River and into the north. All the while Either join these sentences or add a verb. That is, "into the north, all the while" or "north. All the while, it never strays...and steers"never straying much further east than Astran, and steering clear of the Dragon’s Maw and the infested caverns that surround this ancient place.

This Tandala mountains wall, before the Third Sarvonian War (298-203 b.S.), was thought to be impassable because of the harsh climates past the foothills. However,spaceorcs from the north eventually found pathways through the Tandalas, believed to have been constructed by the mythical Ylossian Dwarves How can mythical dwarves construct anything? You need to clarify this. Is this "People think, but it's wrong" or "Scholars believe this (and they aren't mythical)"?. After the war, many of these tunnels were destroyed. However, the Are they not Gob-Oc Orcs?Gob-orcs have since reopened them and taken residence in the Tandalas. Despite the fact that they have been passed before, many still believe them to be difficult to journey through, and thus the Tandalas mark the northern natural border of the Kingdom of Santharia.

Location
The Tandalas are located on the Northern Santharian border, stretching from the western till the eastern coast. The Tandala depths, though less expansive as"not as expansive as" or "less expansive than" the mountain range, stretch under great parts of these mountains. With a lack of consistency the caverns and tunnels form denser systems in some areas, predominantly the east, and more scarce in the west.I'm not sure what you want to say here. It's unclear, structurally. Something like "The spread of the caverns and tunnels is inconsistent,  and forms denser systems in some areas than in others, predominantly in the east rather than in the west" Do you see what I'm saying?

They are located south of the Ashmarian Lands, This next makes not a lot of sense. Perhaps along the lines of "...Ashmarian Lands, with the most prominent part -which features the highest mountains in the highlands, including the Dragon's Maw - standing just north-east of ..." or some such thing the most prominent part featuring the highest mountains in the highlands, the Dragon’s Maw, just north and east of Nyermersys, the capital of the northernmost Santharian province of Nermeran. The mountains of Tandala move southward and eventually become the Allsiscaey Mountains; whether the Tandala Depths stretch into the womb of these mountains is unknown though.I like the use of "womb" here :P. Evocative term.

People
Despite the deep darkness of the Tandala Depths, some races and tribes have attempted attempeted and even succeeded in claiming these vast caverns and tunnels as their own. Initially excavated and turned into a thriving empire, the Ylossian Dwarves called these halls under the mountains their homeThis last doesn't work. I think you need a bit more; perhaps "They were initially excavated and turned into a thriving empire by the Ylossian Dwarves, who called these halls under the mountains their home" Also, this suggests they are not mythical, as you state earlier.. After the Third Sarvonian War the tunnels were salvaged and used by the masses of green-skins that then went on to raid the north of the Santharian Kingdom. It is as a consequence of this campaign that the Are you hyphenating this word or not? You do earlier but not heregreenskins known as the Gob-Oc Orcs then camePicky, perhaps, personal taste, probably, but "then" sounds a bit... "and then and then and then". Would a "next" work better? Just a humble idea; if you don't like it, or if I'm being overly-picky or sensitive, ignore me. to settle in the Are they the Tandala Depths or the Tandalan Depths? You've mixed them up; are you going to make both acceptable? I said this in the IRC; I have no preference, others may, so ask around if you want a definite choiceTandalan Depths, after being pushed back and sealed off towards the end of the Troll War.

     The Gob-Oc Orcs
The Tandala Highlands are home to the Gob-Oc, a tribe of orcscut the second comma, summarized by the term “goblins”.  They make their home in the intricate network of caverns and tunnels said to have been dug out by the Ylossian dwarves, a more or less mythical dwarven tribeagain, what are they? You may need to change this, depends on the answer . After the Third Sarvonian War (298-203 b.S.), the Gob-Oc made a home out of these salvaged tunnels. Gob-Oc are known for creating extraordinary weaponry that rivals the dwarven designs. Though the Gob-Oc tend to be a very warlike tribe, they never seem to get inSounds a bit...odd for a Compendium entry. I don't know why. Perhaps "involved in" rather than just "in" skirmishes with ogres and trolls. As a race they seem much more intent on their own internal struggles, and continuously unearthing more and more treasures and secrets from the Ylossian era. These orcish goblins are known for creating incredible pieces of weaponry out of the rich supply of metals and minerals that exist in these Caverns. Crystals and precious stones are also mined out of this region.

     The Trolls
Though less of a dominant race within the Tandala Depths, the perimeters of this cavern system sometimes house trolls. Predominantly, the Ghereghut (Cave Trolls) and the Kloighut (Mountain Trolls) naturally settle in the caves that exitexist in the Tandala Highlands. Depending on the size of the caves, these trolls may live in communities of anywhere from two to thirty trolls. Rarely will a troll wander down into the passagedpassages and depths below unless they have business with the Gob-Oc Orcs, for trade in goods or weaponry. It is known from goblin accounts that individual Trolls also reside within, deeper into the goblin territories. These individuals are usually under goblin control, be they as guards or henchmen. As the goblin saying goes, “a little bit of troll goes a long way”. Other than the stray individuals though, there exists no permanent tribe of trolls within the Tandala Depths.

     The Ylossian Dwarves (extinct)
The Ylossian Dwarven Clan were an ancient, mythical Same issue. Were they real or not?dwarven tribe that is said to have inhabited the Tandala Depths many thousands of years before Santhros united the southern kingdoms of Sarvonia under his reign. They are said to have worshipped Aephesvil, a dwarven half-god created by Trum'Baroll (the dwarven equivalent to the Santharian God of the Smiths,Urtengor)Parentheses could be avoided here, perhaps with dashes?, which brought them wealth as well as their destruction. As many other clans Ylossian dwarfs had nocturnal vision, which is believed to be one of the main reasons for their domination of the Tandala Depths. Remnants of their once grand empire suggest that the caves they lived in were actually kept pitch black. In the time of the goblins, this has now changed. Famous (though as of yet unaccounted for) Parentheses. Use commas here insteadYlossian settlements includeno colon: Dawi’Amkort and Daln’Grang.
« Last Edit: 08 June 2011, 06:54:35 by Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: 06 June 2011, 23:05:33 »

The dissect that Ath has mentioned should likely be "bisect" or "cuts in two"
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« Reply #9 on: 10 June 2011, 06:22:42 »

Is the history ready for a Uri yet, Jonael?
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« Reply #10 on: 10 June 2011, 06:39:24 »

Not yet, sorry. Give me till tomorrow.

Also, the history's a bit of a wobbly issue just now. As it stands in the text, it is the old history modified and tweaked a little. If I am to go through with my plans to alter the goblin history completely, then major changes will occur... thus the question becomes: Do I complete this entry as it stands now, only later modifying the history of it, or do I wait until the new history has been debated, corrected and accepted, only then completing the entry?
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« Reply #11 on: 10 June 2011, 06:56:54 »

No probs Jonael, take as long as you need. Don't feel pressured; but I said I would check, and I don't want you waiting for comments on it. Just post when it is.

Also - ask someone else that! :D Although it may be better not to have a history/have a very sketchy one if you do finish this now, otherwise people may get wrong ideas.

Just my san (not enough there for two :) )

Ath
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« Reply #12 on: 10 June 2011, 09:26:10 »

I'll confer with you on Caeltakker when I start writing, Jonael, so that I keep it within any ideas you have for the Depths.  Still researching.
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« Reply #13 on: 20 June 2011, 05:56:00 »

Jonael, you might know this already, but maybe not (I at least had forgotten it, if I had read it at all), but here your tunnels are mentioned. Don't know, if you need it.
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« Reply #14 on: 30 June 2011, 03:54:17 »

Just wanted to say that I love having an entry on the Tandala Depths... The area seems really cool, offering lots of interesting ideas to explore.

I don't know if you've seen the entry on the Mines of Ghun'gob - these are also beneath the Tandala, so make sure to check that one out. Also in the Tandala tunnels was Noggi Penmark, who could be mentioned. Hope these entries provide some additional inspiration! :)

You'll get another aura when I can give you another one, Jonael! (Already gave you one today.) But it looks like you're making nice progress and have some great ideas for this place! Looking forward to check it when you're more or less done!  thumbup
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