Dark'Moon Blossom

Ayrazil

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Dark'Moon Blossom

« on: 05 August 2011, 03:16:06 »

“Today wasn't an ordinary day, I was taking some air fresh when suddenly I realized I didn't knew where I was, nor how I've arrived there. It was a forest and I can't tell which one. I walked for a while trying to understand where the destiny had taken me… I didn’t walked for a long time till I saw the ruins that raised in front of me; there, I found these strange and ancient scrolls… the scrolls, now I know, contained information that is unknown for almost all the races in Caelereth; or that best said, has been forgotten with the passage of time… I think it is now my task to bring to light all this ancient knowledge; for the better of Caelereth…”
(Extracted from Ayrazil's diary)

a) Categorization:

Magical Plants

b) Basic Overview of the Plant:

The dark’moon blossom is a flower of about one palmspan with an, almost, unequalled beauty; as it is to be expected of the reflection of Ava’s beauty. This extremely rare plant only grows in the new moon midnight and dies with the first touch of solar light at the daybreak. Because of its nature, the dark’moon blossom appears in the middle of big forests and according to ancient scrolls, it is said that only one of these flowers grows in Caelereth each new moon night; being only a few people the ones that have seen it during their whole lives, and making it impossible to find this coveted magical flower.

Laying aside the myths and legends regarding this precious blossom, no studies have been made of the properties and uses of the plant, and so on, no useful information is stored nor in the elven books, nor in the biggest library of Sarvonia; even so, it is said that the only touch of the dark’moon petals will make the person who touches it a “gifted”; a very talented wizard, if trained properly, capable of mastering the ancient magic of nature that the first inhabitants of Caelereth received from Esh-Ava, the Other, an being that the reason of the flower’s dead when the light of Ava, The Giver of Life, illuminates the sky.

c) Description:

In modern days, no habitant of Caelereth have claimed to see this beautiful plant; however, the ancient scrolls discovered by Ayrazil, Dzac Yah first degree mage and apprentice of the Ximax, Magical Academy, describe it as a flower with unequal beauty, with no more than a palmspan of width and approximately 2/3 of a fore in height, including the blossom’s stem, which petals bright with a light that looks like the moonlight during the full moon night.

These captivating blossoms have a dark green stem that rises from the ground with two or three leaves of the same color. At the top of the plant, the flower opens with crystal like, delicate and magnificent lighting petals.

In the discovery report made by Ayrazil, the mage; he establishes that in appearance, the flower may seems as a lily; a beautiful flower that grows in the Universe of Terra, and that as he claims does not have the beauty, nor the light, nor the magic properties of the dark’moon blossom; but he has described it that way because as he also says: “it’s impossible to compare it with that single flower and as I may think, it should be a heresy to say that Ava’s beauty showed in that blossom could ever be described…”.

d) Territory:

Unknown… Though some ancient scrolls says that because of its nature, the dark’moon blossom appears in the middle of big forests and that only one of these flowers grows in Caelereth each new moon night.

e) Usages:

No studies have been made of the properties and uses of the plant, and so, no useful information is available. Otherwise, it is said that the only touch of the dark’moon petals will make the person who touches it a “gifted”; a very talented wizard, if trained properly, capable of mastering the ancient magic of nature that the first inhabitants of Caelereth received from Esh-Ava, the Other, an being that the reason of the flower’s dead when the light of Ava, The Giver of Life, illuminates the sky.

It is also worth of mention that through Caelereth history no records of a person being touched by the dark’moon blossom have been recorded.

f) Reproduction:

This extremely rare plant only appears in the new moon’s midnight. The blossom grows with an amazing speed and it survives until the sun lights the sky in the daybreak of the next day. When the sun touches the flower, the dark’moon blossom immediately melt as if it was made of ice leaving only a short-timed bright shine caused by the reflection of the sun in the crystal like petals of the flower. However, it will appear again in the next new moon’s midnight in a different place between all Caelereth, and no one knows how this beautiful plant sprouts out of nowhere.

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Hello there! this is my first post, I don't know if I made it right or if you will accept it; but it is an idea I've got. What do you think?

PD: I would like you to help me with the name, I would like something related to dark'moon blossom but in the elves language or something like that, any ideas?


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Dark'Moon Blossom

« Reply #1 on: 05 August 2011, 21:12:02 »

Ok, a few comments for now:

- The words you're looking for in Styrásh can actually be found in the dictionary on the site already: "móh" means "dark" and "silarná" means moon. Put together you get something like "móh'silarná", or - as I often prefer to do - a shortened, derived version with a bend towards a better sounding word, which would be "móh'silá" or "móh'íarna" e.g. - take your pick!

- As for the Tharian (=English, Terran) term I'd call it simply "Darkmoon", as we don't usually have apostrophes in human words, unless they refer to tribal language.

- The name of the subject in question of the entry BTW is always written with a capital letter throughout the entry.

- "Laying aside the myths..." would be better written "Putting aside the myths..." I'd suggest.

- "nor in the elven books, nor in the biggest library of Sarvonia" ... better writher "neither in... nor..."

- Also: Careful with sentences that are running on, e.g. the second paragraph in the Overview (which is just one sentence stretching over seven lines or so). Better make a full stop instead of a semicolon. That said, I don't understand the last part of that sentence. Better rephrase that!

- The Overview also mentions that nobody knows anything about the plant, whereas you go on with describing it in the Description section. This is a bit contradictory.

- "...which petals bright with a light that looks..." should be "with petals bright" I assume

- You mention Ayrazil who discovered the flower - maybe you can add more about him, maybe in a Researchers section. And suggest to look for more details in that section when you first mention his name.

- Even while Territory is meant to be sketchy, you could elaborate more on that. Where it supposedly was found, e.g. could be independent from the climate (cold, hot etc.), which might be part of the fact that researchers conclude that it is merely a magical flower.

- Concerning the "Esh-Avá" thing - there are two things to remember:

First of all, you're writing an entry for the Santharian Compendium, and Esh-Avá is an elven concept. Whenever you bring in concepts of specific races, make sure to explain them and don't take them for granted. For example humans of Santharia wouldn't believe at all in Avá, probably haven't even heard here name. (There are still some entries on the site which have to be changed, so that they aren't written as absolute as they currently are - we're aware of this!)

Secondly, Esh-Avá is - like Avá - if you so want is a "cosmological principle", so you can't really say that "the first inhabitants of Caelereth received [magic] from Esh-Ava", unless you explain it properly - because Esh-Avá is actually the universe itself (at least that's how the elves see it). You could say that "Esh-Avá is the 'prison' of existence" while Avá is the opposite non-existing eternal principle. So... You're really getting in a quite difficult metaphysical area here, which doesn't entirely fit as of yet the way you wrote it.

Ok, so much about some first comments, Ayrazil - there are definitely a few hurdles to master with a very first entry, but just stick with it and amke improvements as you go along