* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Notifications & Notes
Masterplans/Projects
Dev Maps
Entry Templates
Picture Resources
Language Additions
Pages: [1]
Print
Author Topic: Great God Nehtor, Dance  (Read 474 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Deklitch Hardin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 101
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.696


Elf friend


View Profile
« on: 10 January 2012, 07:39:17 »
This is a traditional song sung by the Black Butterfly Rovers about the God, Nehtor. The bands of individuals seen by others as miscreants, outlaws and worse reflect on Nehtor in his identity as the Weeping God, and the God Alone. It serves as an additional sign, along with the black butterfly tattoo each member of the troops get when they become a fully fledged member. Parts of the song are changed to reflect the events in the Black Butterfly Rover's own life, and parts of it remain constant between singers.

The version of the song here is the one sang by the Erpheronian, Deklitch Hardin, who grew up a Black Butterfly Rover before being introduced to the Compendium by elven and human compendiumists while he was passing through Marcogg with his troop. These songs are highly personal and individualistic, and the Compendium is most grateful to the Compendiumist for sharing it with us.

Great Lord Nehtor, Dance
There is a God, named Nehtor and he weeps with you
In robes so blue
With dark hair and beard, and a pan flute, too
His robes are blue
He leapt so high,
He touched the sky,
Then he lightly touched down

Great God Nehtor,
God who Weeps,
God of Healing, Dance!

I first knew Him when I was in a Province,
As a Rover child
Mum had died, dad had lied and I had cried
Nehtor wept with me,
He wept with me,
Then he stepped closer

He said His name was Nehtor, then He danced a bit
Across the field
He flicked his head, hitched his robes, and he grinned
Then He leapt up high, until I smiled,
He reached for me,
He reached for me,
held me till my tears ceased

Great God Nehtor,
God who Weeps,
God of Healing, dance!

He danced when the Rovers laughed or when we cried
As we travelled around,
We spoke with tears of countless years and endless fears
Going through village and town,
When things went missing, we were blamed, and we cried,
And with us He wept

Great God Nehtor,
God who Weeps,
God of Healing, dance!
« Last Edit: 22 January 2012, 12:14:06 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged
"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, because there's none at all down here on Earth." - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 355
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.604


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #1 on: 10 January 2012, 10:33:17 »
Hey!  I have an illustration for this.... :)
Logged
"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Deklitch Hardin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 101
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.696


Elf friend


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: 12 January 2012, 02:27:15 »
It was that illustration that inspired the process of me coming up with this, Judith. :)

Edit: The poem/song is mostly there now. I'm satisfied with some of it ... I'm not happy with some of it. I invite comments, suggestions etc on it.

Edit II: I admit to borrowing the tune for this one from a real life song, kudos to anyone who picks it up ... trying to get the rhythm right in places was quite difficult, as were rhymes. :)
« Last Edit: 12 January 2012, 02:32:08 by Deklitch Hardin » Logged
"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, because there's none at all down here on Earth." - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Rayne (Alýr)
Dreamress
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 103
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 4.420



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: 12 January 2012, 06:22:51 »
Haha! Great allusion! clap I loved the original song growing up.
Logged
"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 178
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.147



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 12 January 2012, 19:45:07 »
I learned to play guitar with that song! Looking good, Dek!
Logged
The greatest danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Ding-dong!
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 355
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.604


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #5 on: 13 January 2012, 09:28:08 »
May I suggest 'leapt' rather than 'jumped' as a substitution?  Two reasons - first,  it's more medieval-sounding ('jumped' has a certain modern crudeness about it) and second, 'leapt' has a nice assonance and internal rhyme with 'wept', which you use several times in the poem.

Apart from that I would change nothing - it's simple without being simplistic, personal, and effective!
Logged
"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Deklitch Hardin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 101
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.696


Elf friend


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: 15 January 2012, 12:10:04 »
Thanks all for your thoughts on it. I've just realised now it didn't have the ! on it, so I've now fixed that up.
Logged
"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, because there's none at all down here on Earth." - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 355
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.604


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #7 on: 15 January 2012, 17:13:40 »
(sneaks in to aurie Dek)
Logged
"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Deklitch Hardin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 101
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.696


Elf friend


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: 21 January 2012, 23:14:00 »
Is this one ready to be blarrowed and for inclusion in the current update?

PS Thanks for the aura, Bard.
Logged
"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, because there's none at all down here on Earth." - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 451
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 22.101



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #9 on: 22 January 2012, 11:34:04 »
Will be included, yup!  cool
Logged


"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Pages: [1]
Print
+Santharian Development   +Forum   +Santharian World Development   +The Santharian Library   +Great God Nehtor, Dance
Jump to:  

Help, I'm a Newbie!
Search
Recent
Stats
Members
Total Members: 990
Latest: Ryvic Darkveil
Stats
Total Posts: 140957
Total Topics: 10685
Online Today: 56
Online Ever: 125
(21 June 2007, 19:36:12)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 30
Total: 30

ShoutBox!
Last 10 Shouts:
Artimidor Federkiel
Yesterday at 23:44:26
The Goltherlon forest is on the site, including a map - right here... ;)
Azhira Styralias
Yesterday at 23:11:32
Nevermind :P
Azhira Styralias
Yesterday at 23:02:30
Quick question: Where is the Goltherion Forest?
Seeker
22 May 2012, 07:41:35
Are Shabby and Dek the same person in my mind.  Strange.
Artimidor Federkiel
20 May 2012, 10:38:19
Ah yes, forgot to point out to Shabakuk that Chapter 5 is ready for testing - will do so now!
Deklitch Hardin
18 May 2012, 09:35:51
I am pleased it is going well for you though Seeker ... can't wait to try it and die. :D
Deklitch Hardin
18 May 2012, 09:35:13
No, I didn't Seeker. :( I think it is Master Anfang who is doing the testing
Seeker
18 May 2012, 08:30:42
Dek-   shoals is going very well.  Art is starting on chapter 6. A very important chapter.  Did you test chapter 5?
Valan Nonesuch
15 May 2012, 05:41:48
*Valan filches some parchments from around the corners of the pile before sauntering off attempting to look casual and tripping over the hem of his robes.*
Bard Judith
14 May 2012, 07:33:29
Waiiiiiit!   (Bard staggers back with a pile of Unfinished Projects so high her arms are trembling)  Let me stuff mine in there before you lock the room!  *looks guiltily around and snatches the Quenyss parchment off the top of the stack*
Show last 50
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.16 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc 		Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx