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Author Topic: Stone Hand Disease  (Read 4071 times)
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Dieren
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« on: 07 July 2012, 02:23:20 »

Edits are in green

Name:

The name is Galnós’danár, which means “Stone Hand” in Styrásh, named as such because it was first seen by the elves, and because the result is stone-like extremities. The humans often refer to it as the Stone Disease or Hard Fingers Disease, though in some villages, it is referred to as Bone Disease.

Miscellaneous/Diseases

Overview:

Stone Hand Disease is a skin disease that leads to the hardening of the skin. The skin turns white and hardens, the condition spreading through the body from the point of contact. It is prevalent mainly in northern Nybelmar. Stone Hand Disease is not contagious, and it is caused by touching unwashed blackstone, a stone found in Nybelmar. The waters of the Maren Nybeth are the only known treatment for the disease.

Symptoms:

The first sign that something is wrong is that the places where the victim touched the blackstone begin to turn pale and hard. At first the white spots will appear to be similar to calluses, but they will begin to spread past the tips until they begin reaching the knuckles. Sensation is dulled in the white spots and, when the whiteness reaches the knuckles, the knuckles begin to stiffen and become more difficult to bend.

Effects:

The effects of the disease are clearly seen as they are all external and easily visible. The skin turns white, beginning at the extremities, usually the fingers. The whiteness spreads from the tips of the extremities back to the body. The white spots are hard and begin with the appearance of stone. After it begins to spread, the texture begins changing to that of exposed bone.

When the whiteness spreads to joints, it hardens them, making them difficult if not impossible to bend. It appears to only affect the skin, never reaching the fat or muscle below, but it stiffens the skin to the point where the arms cannot bend at the elbows or shoulders.

Stone Hand Disease generally does not spread beyond the shoulders, though there have been reported cases of that happening. The rate of spreading begins decreasing severely when it reaches the shoulders, often to a rate where it appears to have stopped even if it hasn’t.

The disease is not by itself fatal, though, especially in villages, it can lead to death because, once it progresses far enough, the victim has a very difficult if not impossible time taking care of themselves.

Cure/Prevention:

There is no known cure for this disease. Amputations are known to slow or stop the spread of the disease but only if no white spots are left on the skin. If there are any remaining white spots, they will again begin to spread across the skin.

Soaking infected skin in water from the water from near the Nybelmar beaches in the Maren Nybeth within an hour for at least a third of an hour after infection works to stave off the disease about three-quarters of the time.

Originally, the people of the region thought that a god was had blessed the water, making it a cure-all, or at least a cure for Stone Hand Disease. They believed that it was a local god or minor deity, one centered only in the beach area of the Maren Nybeth.

Cause:

The cause of the disease is from a stone known as blackstone, which appears on the northern part of the continent of Nybelmar. Blackstone secretes a poisonous oil unless it is washed in the Maren Nybeth. The minerals near the Nybelmar beaches in the Maren Nybeth are thought to neutralize the oils. A simple way to avoid Galnós’danár is to avoid touching unwashed blackstone. This, and the fact that blackstone caused Galnós’danár, was not known for a long time, though, due in large part to the fact that white spots can appear hours or even days after contact is made with unwashed blackstone.

Blackstone often appears in rocks near those of semi-precious stones, and so at one time it was used for jewelry. Its use in jewelry was also due to the fact that large chunks of it have a tendency to break away from its rock, making mining of it unnecessary. Now, those who are travelling to areas with large blackstone deposits carry water from the Maren Nybeth with them to wash in case of contact with the blackstone.

Only Elves and humans are known to have contracted Galnós’danár, but that is mainly because they were the only two races that wear blackstone jewelry, in general. It cannot be caught by treating a person who is sick or being around them.

Blackstone oil has also been harvested from the blackstones to be used as a slow poison. Even with that, the disease has become much less prevalent. Blackstone jewelry is no longer made because the results of using the stone have become known.
« Last Edit: 19 January 2014, 18:49:22 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Jasper
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« Reply #1 on: 07 July 2012, 02:56:55 »

Hey Dieren!


Couple comments to get you started.


  • The overview needs more detail. Start by describing the basics of the disease, what it does, and where it's prevalent. You jump right into saying that it's not contagious, but truthfully I'm not even worried about how contagious it is until I find out WHAT it is! ;)
  • Your first symptoms are that the fingers and toes begin to turn hard. If it is essentially a skin disease, (which is all it can be, if it's contracted by just touching this blackstone, right?) then why would all the fingers and toes begin to see effects? why wouldn't it spread from just the skin that touched the stone? Why ALL extremities?
  • In the effects, a bit more detail/clarification would be necessary. Again, as a skin disease I don't see how it stops only at the shoulders/knees. Is it hardening the outer layer of skin? Or is it hardening the actual inner muscles and tissue of the hand and arm? As a compendium writer, you would undoubtedly have the chance to examine one of those amputated limbs for these kinds of detail!
  • Blackstone - interesting creation here! A couple suggestions. Firstly, it's very (veryveryveryveryveryvery ;) ) unlikely that the stone can be found over ALL of Nybelmar; that's a continent you're talking about, there' s a lot of land there! And a lot of people have specific territories, where a poisonous-oil secreting stone might not be welcome! Be prepared to talk to Coren, Miraran, and Viresse about how exactly it will fit in! Can the oil, once on one's skin, be washed off before one is infected? If not, it seems an awfully risky job to be harvesting this stuff!
  • Iferhem elves - Viresse has them described as a warrior-society, low on industry and isolated and unlikely to trade with the outside world. In my opinion, they don't sound like the type that would start harvesting, cleaning, and selling jewelry. Why would they mine this stuff in the first place?
  • Maren Nybeth- why this body of water? If all that's needed is a salt sea, seems like there are a lot of options.
  • You say humans and elves are the only races that have contracted it, as they are the only races that wear the jewelry. But why would wearing it matter, if it's already washed? Seems like the only people that would risk contracting it are those who harvested it! Also, if there's any risk that the jewelry could infect one with the disease, who would wear it?



Just some thoughts to get you started off; I love a good skin disease, and  nice stone-skin like this is something we seem to be missing! Good start Dieren, look forward to seeing where this one goes.  thumbup


EDIT: In my rush to comment I just noticed that you didn't have the "open for comments" dev icon up. Sorry for jumping the gun on commenting, I'm a little rusty it's been a few years since I've done this. :p
« Last Edit: 07 July 2012, 03:36:20 by Jasper » Logged
Dieren
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« Reply #2 on: 07 July 2012, 06:45:03 »

As a reply to your edit, that's actually my mistake. I thought I had that up. I will fix that now. Thank you. And thank you for your comments. I already fixed stuff because of you, and I'm going to post them. I'm a bit rusty at it, too.  ;)
« Last Edit: 07 July 2012, 06:47:35 by Dieren » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: 07 July 2012, 14:58:53 »

I see Jasper already helped out with first comments - good job! :)

Just wanted to say: Welcome back, Dieren! It's been quite a while since we heard from you, so it's always nice to see someone come back with fresh ideas and get right to work! Have a pleasant stay! cool
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Kelancey the Green
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« Reply #4 on: 07 July 2012, 23:34:13 »

I just would like to add, this is very creative and well-thought out! You have given me inspiration in my writing, Dieren--thank you!
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #5 on: 10 July 2012, 05:09:17 »

Wow haven't seen Nybelmar make the news in a loooooong time.

This would perhaps make more sense if certain people would perhaps develop a severe allergic reaction to this stone and develop the symptoms of the disease. Rather than have a vague, blanket disease that infects anyone who touches it (seems it would cause a severe downturn in jewelry making for everyone).
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« Reply #6 on: 11 July 2012, 04:18:46 »

Hey Dieren, Azhira's suggestion has quite a bit of merit here.
Perhaps this is a condition that affects the jewelrymakers themselves. The people who mine or are responsible for treating the blackstone?
The phrase "mad as a hatter" is a result of hatmakers suffering from mercury poisoning which could induce a variety of psychological symptoms. They used mercuric nitrate in order to separate fur from the pelt, but it takes time for that to build up in a person's body. Perhaps this works somewhat similar?

Other than that, Azhira's comment that it's very broad is something I must agree with. The entry needs to be refined a little before I think it's really going to shine. Elves and humans for instance, is a very wide set of sufferers given that they comprise most of the population of our little disc.
Without knowing who produces the stone, and who they trade it with, who wears the resulting product.

You say that the people of the Fallaerion Affaenath mined it first. Those would appear to be elves, judging from one of the maps here, and they're not exactly known for mining.

My advice to you is to let this sit for a while, sort out blackstone itself, and then come back and finish this. Or at the very least, develop the two concurrently. You're sort of putting the cart before the horse.

Sorry if the comments here are a little scattershot. I've swapped the icon for the time being.
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« Reply #7 on: 11 July 2012, 04:33:10 »

Minor correction: If I'm not mistaken, the name should actually be Gálnos’danár, with the accent on the first syllable instead of the second, due to how Styrásh shifts the stress of words when they are joined to form compounds. 
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Dieren
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« Reply #8 on: 02 December 2012, 05:19:36 »

I just got back to this and fixed some of the stuff with the blackstone. My changes are in purple.
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« Reply #9 on: 04 December 2012, 04:16:48 »

Hello again, Dieren! wave

Hope your next post won't be in a few months time, but rather a bit sooner as it took you a while to get back to this. Nevertheless, you've managed to come here again... Wohooo!  grin

So let's see what I have to comment:

- I would suggest that the Tharian (=English) name should be the primary one, so "Stone Hand Disease", because it just is easier to find and grasp in the Compendium. After all we're human writers, not elves.

- Overview should definitely contain some more details, as it's basically meant to be a summary of the key features of the topic you describe. Like: Where it is prevalent, how it is caused etc. Just briefly mentioned, no details. It's still too basic right now.

- You write: "It is prevalent mainly in northern Nybelmar and coastal villages in nearby continents." So what are the nearby continents? A bit more specific would be good, because Nybelmar doesn't exactly lie close to any other continents if I'm not mistaken.

- That "blackstone" is not mentioned on the site yet. Might be a good opportunity for a follow-up entry.

- You often refer to the disease as "it", e.g. in the Effects section. Just write "Stone Hand Disease" every now and then. It's easier to spell and use than "Galnós’danár", right? ;)

- "Amputations are known to slow ..."

- "Twenty minutes" is a very technical term and not very medieval. How about a "third of an hour"?

- You write that "minerals near the Nybelmar beaches in the Maren Nybeth are thought to neutralize the oil". As this is a fantasy site you could also at least throw in a bit of superstition and say that some say that this is actually something magical. Or attach a little story/myth to it why people believe that Maren Nybeth helps.

Okeydokey... Bascially very nice already, Dieren, only needs a bit of a final touch-up here and there I'd say. At any rate I already give you an aura +1 for returning to this one, let's hope we can chalk this one off soon!  cool
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Dieren
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« Reply #10 on: 04 December 2012, 12:36:46 »

New comments are in red. Where would I put an entry about blackstone?
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« Reply #11 on: 05 December 2012, 04:42:43 »

Good job, Dieren!  :D Here's still a little thing:

Quote
Originally, the people of the region thought that a god was had blessed the water...

But I guess we can already mark this one for integration then as far as I'm concerned... Well done!  thumbup

As for the blackstone: You'd put such an entry in the "Miscellaneous" Forum. On the site it would go in the category Miscellaneous --> Resources. You find all kinds of minerals there :)
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« Reply #12 on: 05 December 2012, 12:49:23 »

Is there a template for Miscellaneous-->Resources? I might just be missing it, but I can't find it.
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« Reply #13 on: 05 December 2012, 15:36:41 »

Good question actually, Dieren... Looks like we don't have an explicit one posted somewhere, but just have a look at other mineral entries like the Burning Stone e.g. and take the sections you find there. That should do the job.  :D
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