* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: [1]
Print
Author Topic: Child of Spring: Chapter 11  (Read 2321 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Coren FrozenZephyr
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 157
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.359



View Profile
« on: 27 August 2012, 03:45:18 »

Finished! grin I thought this would be one of the shortest chapters, but somehow it ended up twice the length of the longest chapter to date. Characters take over sometimes.

1) [Travis] is now Torrent (thanks Judith!). Actually, which one do you guys prefer: Torrent, Tempest, Thunder, Tide?

2) Which version do you prefer (see the chapter below for context):

"The Way of Wind and Water. I thought of those lovers. I thought of the Way. I suppose it is true. I cannot stay angry at anything for long. Perhaps all these years following the Way has moulded me into something similar. Damp wood that won't catch fire."

OR

"I thought of the Way. The Way of Wind and Water. I thought of those lovers. Perhaps all these years following the Way has moulded me into something similar. I cannot stay angry at anything for long. Damp wood that won't catch fire."



PS: I've been digging through a lot of Kel's medical entries for research. They're really good! I greatly enjoyed reading them.



CHILD OF SPRING

This is the story of Winter and the Way of Wind and Water. He is one of the Gifted, those rare individuals born with natural magical ability. He has lived the life of a Krean monk since he entered the monastery at age six, but his heart is in Nybelmarasa, the last place in the world where the magic of the Ancient Krean still lives. In a year he will leave White Mountain, a place which has been home for seventeen years, and make the long journey to the Academy. Here he will learn the ways of magic from the mages of Nybelmarasa as they have been passed from the legendary emperor Dearan Asaen himself. Or so he hopes. It is said that our gifts define us, make us who we are. What would you do if you lost yours and how far would you go to get it back?



CHAPTER SUMMARIES

Chapter 1: The Songs of Wind
In which we meet Winter. Into the peace of the mountain, a new song has come on the Wind.

Chapter 2: Meditating on the Breath
On his way to the monastery, Winter runs into a friend. Why is Orange out of breath and what is he searching for?

Chapter 3: Song of the Family
In which Winter remembers. The two monks discuss the change that looms over White Mountain.

Chapter 4: War and Peace
Winter and Orange disagree about the coming war. Winter is troubled by the change that has come over his friend.

Chapter 5: The Virtues of a Balanced Diet
War is coming to the Port of Nor, and on the Mountain, Winter is locked in a battle of his own, trying to get twelve novice monks ranging from six to ten years of age through the morning practice. But first he must reason with Ker, who has a penchant for (mis)-quoting Master Kao and is very fond of daisies, as a source of nourishment.

Chapter 6: Swimming Dragon
In which we discover the connection between Swimming Dragon and Stormblade complexion. Swimming Dragon, Sinking in Prayer Position, Stand Like a Tree: Three more exercises and Winter can hand the novice monks over to Master Coldstream - and Winter has a secret weapon in a curious looking clay jar to make sure the children pay attention...

Chapter 7: Tamarind
In which we meet Pebble, novice monk and potential high priest, from whom we learn that Tamarind will regrettably not be joining Swimming Dragon practice, on account of his back.

Chapter 8: Practice is its own reward
In which Winter and the boys practice Swimming Dragon, finally. An hour later disaster strikes.

Chapter 9: Ebb and Flow
Winter deals with the brownie poo induced consequences of a loss of mindfulness.

Chapter 10: Stand Like a Tree
The last exercise of the morning practice and Master Coldstream can take over from Winter. But Ker seems to have misinterpreted the instructions.

Chapter 11: Nettle
Ker fell down the tree. Winter is summoned before the masters.


« Last Edit: 09 February 2013, 18:37:17 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 157
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.359



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: 27 August 2012, 03:46:36 »

CHAPTER 11
Nettle

When we are young and sensitive, we are also at our most hurtful. When the blood begins to slow, when we feel less sharply, when we have learnt how to bear hurt, we tread more carefully.

"You are a disgrace to the Way!"

"Compliments of the season to you too, Nettle." I am always maddeningly polite with her. I suppose I am still young and sensitive.

"Fine! Be like that. If Torrent is whom you wish to take after, then burn with him you shall!" From the way she said his name, you'd think I was consorting with demons, and sacrificed kittens in my spare time, by hitting them on the head with baby dolfolk.

Nettle and Torrent get along like dreamlice and dronomin, which is to say they get along like wooden houses and fire, screams and all. The long and short of it is that Nettle hates Torrent, and by proximity, Winter. I say this, of course, as a completely disinterested observer.

Yes, nettles are perhaps not the most affable plants of the forest, but you see, there is a way to handle them without getting stung. Once you take the time to look deeply rather than stamp around in wrathful protest (and I speak from experience), it dawns upon you rather quickly: As the needles grow in one direction (upward along the stalk, outward along the leaves), you simply need to make sure not to grasp in a way that rubs against the direction of growth.

Is this not what the Way teaches us, to observe and then follow the flow? I am not going to quote the Book of the Sea at you, but perhaps I may be allowed to paraphrase? If centuries of sailing ought to have taught the Gondolwain anything, it is this: No ship has sailed upwind by fighting the wind.

Torrent has done some observing of his own and has drawn a different conclusion: 'Gently touch a nettle and it'll sting you for your pains; grasp it as a lad of mettle and soft as silk it remains.' According to our resident (read: self-appointed) woodsman, if the nettle plant is clutched firmly rather than brushed against, it does not sting so readily, because the hairs are crushed down flat and cannot penetrate the skin, their zealotry having been quelled. He encourages me to try it some time.

I once explained to Torrent the many medicinal uses of nettles and their contribution to gardening everywhere in the hopes of showing that a blessing might be hidden in the most implacable of places: how the leaf is harvested to treat joint-bind; how some healers recommend the use of nettles to 'consume the phlegmatic superfluities in the body of man, which the coldness and moisture of winter has left behind'; how the dried powder can staunch the flow of blood from small cuts; how, sprayed over foliage, nettle extract deters pests and prevents fungal disease... He listened and took this as confirmation of his long-held conviction that the only way to derive any benefit from the irascible plant was to crush it. Not quite the point I was trying to make, but then that's the problem with metaphors. (Of course the leaves and root can also be boiled for a decidedly nutritious puree, but I believe I neglected to mention this at the time, lest it give him ideas.)

"What were you THINKING, Winter!?" She was now practically screeching, which is never a pleasant sound.

"Did you have a particular time-frame in mind, Nettlesai?"

"Excuse me?"

"I sometimes have more than one thought in a week. It would help if we could narrow the window of review, so I can pinpoint which thought you had in mind."

"Torrent has corrupted you," she said. "How can you jest about this? Shameful!"

Following Cloud's eminent example, I looked at my feet and feigned remorse. I may have shuffled a bit too. Maybe nudged the dirt with my right toe.

"What say you? Have you nothing to say in your defence? Say something!"

"I really couldn't say. I don't know what I'm accused with yet."

"You can't allow them to climb trees! They're children, Winter!"

"Better to climb trees when grey with age then?" I said this with my best Grass-voice. I also made sure to open my eyes wide in surprise, with as much innocence as a white-tailed fawn drinking his first dewdrop. All in all I think it was a sterling imitation, if I do say so myself.

"You think I'm doing this out of spite," she said. "Ah yes, the belligerent Nettle. There she goes again!" She thumbed through her rosary. I wondered what she was reciting. Twelve beads later she said, "Do you think I like being hated? I know the things you all say behind my back."

I paused for a while, my eyes closed, and contemplated. When I opened them again I cupped her hands in mine, "I have never spoken ill of you Nettle, to your face or otherwise."

"No, you have not." This seemed to make her angrier. She shook my hands off and assaulted the prayer beads again. I pitied them for the endless hours of abuse endured in silence. I often wonder, if our possessions could speak of us, what would they say? "You think you're any better? Oh yes, you're always so polite with me." The beads were orbiting at a feverish pace. "Know this: Politeness is not kindness."

I paused again and looked at her, at her face flushed with fury, at her hands, at the thumb flicking through the prayer beads, a part of her mind reciting at running-bird speeds even as she spoke. I instinctively reached for her hands again, but thought better of it and let my arms fall.

"Perhaps I have been unkind." I said. I watched a cloud drift past.

"You're cold, Winter. Distant."

I shrugged. "I don't get attached to one outcome."

"Oh no. This is not about detachment. Your problem is that you don't care about anyone - about anything."

"That is not true."

"Ah yes - the Flow. Winter cares about the Flow, we all know. And that is the only thing he cares about."

I stood, and listened. I once heard someone say of two lovers that they were like damp wood that won't catch fire. That they might shout, they might fight, but they could not stay angry with each other. I liked that phrase a lot.

The Way of Wind and Water. I thought of those lovers. I thought of the Way. I suppose it is true. I cannot stay angry at anything for long. Perhaps all these years following the Way has moulded me into something similar. Damp wood that won't catch fire.

I thought of the Way. The Way of Wind and Water. I thought of those lovers. Perhaps all these years following the Way has moulded me into something similar. I cannot stay angry at anything for long. Damp wood that won't catch fire.

"I'm confused, Nettle. I don't understand what you would have of me. First, you scold me for not taking the Way seriously, then you reproach me for caring too much about Flow."

"Well, let me tell you something: There is much more to the Way than Flow."

"The Way is the way of Flow. And Flow means following the Way."

"You are twisting the words!"

"Am I?" I stared at her hard. She held the stare. I felt the blood rise in my ears. I've had enough of your pig-headedness for one day! The tides of wrath receded. Damp wood.

"Perhaps I am." I conceded to her the possibility. I shrugged and smiled. "Do we not all twist what we see into what we understand? Perhaps it's inevitable. I wonder sometimes: Do we read the lines on the page, or do we each read ourselves into the lines?" I smiled again. "Well, let's just say then this is what I understand from the words and leave it at that."

"What you understand from the words! The arrogance! The question isn't what you understand from the words - it is: what do the words mean?" The rosary changed hands. "Let them hate me. Someone needs to do the right thing. And if I don't - who will?"

Torrent thinks I'm too gentle with her. But how could I not be? I understand. She has devoted herself to the life of the monk. And she works harder at it then the rest of us combined. Credit where credit is due: She is inexhaustible. I think she would have done so well at a more muscular religion. She is practically a one woman army.

How it must madden her, that the Flow comes to me so effortlessly. That in fact, I was born with the Gift. They call us Gifted, those born with natural magical ability. But do our gifts define us, make us who we are?

Once, when we were much younger, at the end of a teaching, as Master Kao was going out the door, Orange asked him what Flow felt like, just as Nettle asked what could be done to open it faster in one. He simply said, "The Flow is like writing in Ancient Krean." He then patted them both on the head and went to the mountain. Two questions with one aphorism, as is often his way. Nettle took this as encouragement to double her efforts. It was hard to open into Flow, she was on the right path, she must just persevere. After all, Ancient Krean calligraphy is known to be difficult. Infamously so.

It is said to be "difficult" to master the art of Krean writing, but this means only that the art must grow on you over many years. Most people use the word "difficult" for tasks which require extreme force or effort, tasks over which we must perspire, grunt, and groan. But the difficulty of writing Krean with the brush is to make the brush write by itself.

"We do what we think is right," I said. "Our interpretation often differs, but I don't resent you for it Nettle. I think that's what the Way teaches - flow with what is."

"What do you know of the Way!" I looked at her face, and wondered why I aroused so much disgust in her. "In truth, I doubt you know anything about the Flow either. No," she said. "You don't know the Flow - you can't know it. Flow comes naturally for you. But to  really know something, you must work for it. You must put in the effort to figure it out, to conquer it. Think: Who teaches better?  The singer born with perfect pitch, whose voice hits all the right notes without any effort on her part, or one who has worked her way through it - and can therefore pass the craft on? Compare the two skills: The first, like the Gift, is a mindless thing - like the mindless instincts of animals. The second is born from true understanding."

"Does the swimmer know more about swimming than the fish?" I considered my words for a moment. "Perhaps he does. Who knows?" I shrugged again.

"I hate it when you do that. I swear, if you shrug one more time, I'm going to tie your shoulders together with this!" The rosary bobbed up and down menacingly. "Just as I said: Cold. Distant." She exorcised an exasperated mouthful of breath. I watched her cheeks inflate with the rushing air. "In any case, you miss the point. Your fault is not that you care about the Flow - it is that you do not care about anything else." She exorcised another spirit.

"All this -" She swept a hand across the air. The beads rattled against each other. "Us, the monastery, the battle below - they are all ripples in a dream pool to you. You just watch them go by."

"Nettle, let it be all right. This is my last year here. In a few months, I will head south to Nybelmarasa." She jerked her hands away, but I'm faster. I cupped them and patted them on the back a few times. "Soon you won't have the distraction of correcting my crooked ways. Then you can devote yourself entirely to the teachings."

She broke loose. I almost checked my hands for the tell-tale white blisters. But names should not be taken too far. After all, I have not frozen anyone to death. Yet.

Incorrigible Nettle, always following the worst paths for the best reasons in the world! Hers was a strange sort of cowardice: she was ready to risk her life, but not her soul. And it was this pious cowardice which was at the origin of all her petty actions.

"I don't care if it is your last day on the Disk. You have disgraced the Way and you must answer for it." She smiled triumphantly. "I have requested a gathering of the masters."

"Have you lost your mind entirely? You've gone way overboard this time." I shook my head, as if to shake the nonsense I was hearing out of my ears. "This is too much. Even for you, Nettle!"

"Ah, finally something rattles the unshakable Winter!" The prayer beads continued to swirl. "Are you afraid? Good."

"Nettle, there is nothing to fear. No cardinal sin to answer for. That is my point."

"The sacrosanct Winter! The boy who, told not to wet his shoes, lifted the river and crossed under it. That was when you discovered you were Gifted, wasn't it? I remember. You were six." The dance of the spheres carried on. "You know, I always thought you ought to have frozen the river and walked over it. Would have been more fitting." The rosary revolved, faster and faster. I wanted to snatch it out of her hand and hurl it down the mountain. Then it stopped with the finality with which she does everything. The momentum carried the chain and wrapped it around her arm, from wrist to shoulder, like a snake waiting to strike. "Don't think you are untouchable just because you have the Gift, because you can enter Flow."

"Nettle, they haven't slept." The memory of two processions from the morning before came to me. "Master Kao just came back an hour ago. They worked all night - is Master Riversong even back yet?" The tide rose again and receded. When I spoke, my voice was calm, if somewhat cold. A mountain stream in the last days of winter, before spring has broken through. "Nettle, for once in your life, put things in perspective."

Let them rest. I did not understand what she could possibly hope to accomplish. She would be lucky if even three of them showed up. Aunt Winn would be there, to humour her. And maybe Master Kao. Perhaps Master Seastone as well, but I doubted it.

"Have you even visited the boy since?"

"Have you?" I said.

Of the two people here, one of them had not. And it was not me.

"Remember Sunrest?" she asked.

"Yes, what of him?"

"Tell me what you remember."

"He left before he took the vows. I was seven." I recalled times past. "Funny. We used to think he would become the youngest master White Mountain had seen in three centuries, since Mistbringer. I remember Orange and I betting on whether he would overtake her in the monastery's history."

"He did not leave. He was banished."

"I heard the rumours."

"Do you know why he was banished?"

"No one knows, Nettle."

There was a glint in her eyes. The prayer beads resumed their laborious revolution, patiently this time.  

"I know."

We went up and went in. I could not believe what I saw.

All the masters were there.
« Last Edit: 04 September 2012, 22:40:45 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 157
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.359



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: 04 September 2012, 08:50:50 »

Chapter done! Please see the first post for a few questions.
Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.098



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #3 on: 10 October 2012, 03:12:18 »

Ok, I just read the Chapters 10 and 11, so here are answers to your questions, Coren:

Travis question: Torrent sounds fine with me, Tempest would perhaps also be a good choice, but personally Torrent sounds good enough. (Should also be updated in previous chapters!)

As for the section where you presented two versions: I'd go with the second one, but the last sentence I'd suggest to change. Currently the last two sentences read "I cannot stay angry at anything for long. Damp wood that won't catch fire." Would change the last sentence more to "Damp wood doesn't catch fire." (The other sentence makes more sense with the first version, where there's talk about "something similar", which is then specified with the second sentence. Doesn't work that way with the second version.)

And a few smaller things I've noticed:

- Rosary: According to Wikipedia (never trust Wikipedia, but still...) a "rosary" is linked to Catholicism. I understand that there are similar objects in other religions where there are prayer beads, but maybe change the term "rosary" to something different. Perhaps a Caelereth-specific word, which is briefly explained?

- Also: Cardinal sins. Seem to be Christian as well. Maybe that should be reworded as well.

- On the text: It's not very clear to me exactly what happened to Ker. Maybe you're holding that back deliberately, but methinks the reader would definitely like to know after the "cliffhanger" at the end of the last chapter, so its a bit odd that the text goes more or less around the topic. Other than that again an entertaining read! :)

- Weren't there questions you wanted to ask about Windsingers if I remember correctly around Chapter 10? Looks like we're already past that and I haven't met one yet.

- How about the chapter reorganization? Didn't you want to re-structure things a bit, so that we have longer chapters? If we have a clear structure until this point we could easily put it up - otherwise we'll have to wait until the re-structuring is done.
Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Coren FrozenZephyr
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 157
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.359



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 11 October 2012, 03:08:51 »

Thank you for the comments, Arti. They're all spot on.

Due to certain developments in my life, I haven't been able to continue this story or contribute to Santharia as I would have wished. I am not sure when I will be able to make headway with the text again, but here's a quick response to your points:

- Torrent it is then! :)

- Perhaps I should just prune it down to: "I thought of the Way. I thought of those lovers. Perhaps all these years following the Way has moulded me into something similar. Damp wood that won't catch fire."

- Rosary, cardinal sin, Ker: All spot on. Will be addressed.

- Windsingers: Yes. I know the point I want to introduce them, but the story is taking longer to get there than I originally envisaged. It might be a while before they make an appearance. ;)

- Re-organisation: I think I should do this sooner rather than later. Due to RL, I can't produce as much as swiftly as I could during the summer, so waiting until the end of Act 1 is no longer feasible. Will think about how best to tackle this.

Thanks again for taking the time to go through the story.
Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Pages: [1]
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1093
Latest: sh4l0nda12
Stats
Total Posts: 144684
Total Topics: 11053
Online Today: 110
Online Ever: 580
(07 December 2019, 09:39:18)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 9
Total: 9

Last 10 Shouts:
24 October 2019, 13:31:22
Hi and happy 2019 shoutout from me.
22 February 2019, 06:47:10
A delightful 2019 shout-out to you all ^^
21 November 2018, 23:39:14
Seems none of us can stay away ..
09 March 2018, 23:37:46
Dream goes on as long as there are dreamers my friend.
17 January 2018, 01:23:22
Oh, how I wish we could reawaken the Dream :)
16 January 2018, 11:55:48
Hello everyone!
14 September 2017, 09:40:04
Hello all! It's been a minute since I poked my nose in here. Can't remember if I ever did anything useful.
09 May 2017, 14:17:18
Ah, too bad that internet is so restricted in China, Ferra. Can't be much fun surfing the web that way if Big Brother's watching you... Hope you enjoy your stay nevertheless!
03 May 2017, 17:41:19
Hi, dear Arti and other developers!

This year I am in China and cannot use any Google services including YouTube. For this reason I stopped uploading new Nepris videos. I can also not read any comments there.

It just crossed my mind that this information might be useful to you.

Cheers

F
26 March 2017, 12:48:56
Hello to anyone that might read this. :)
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx