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Author Topic: Salsair, Vardynn Province, City  (Read 8907 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #15 on: 19 February 2014, 07:21:45 »

Here we go, no history today



Overview.

Salsair is a large city found in the northern province of Vardynn.  Where the waters of Lake Aelignós gently lap against the shore near the mouth of the Aelunn River, Salsair started out as a small fishing village.  Over time it grew in size and importance, where it now serves as a wonderful summer retreat for the wealthy who want to enjoy the beauty of the lake.  It also serves as a major hub for both fishing and agriculture in the area.

gently lap against the shore - nice!

Description.

Salsair is for the most part a typical Centoraurian city.  Narrow cobblestoned streets wind their way like a spider web through wattle and daub buildings.  Some are whitewashed with timber frames others simple mud covered homes of poorer citizens.  Some are larger stone buildings. 

Salsair is divided into a few areas.  There is the New City, which is outside the original walls.  This area is mostly found on the northern side of the city, following the Aelunn River.  This area is not protected by a defensive wall, though one is under construction, being found on the eastern side of the Aelunn.  The road north to Mirenn is unhampered by a gate.  On the east side of town, the wall is more completed, and Farmstead Gate controls the road to North Arlemaroth and Aregarth.  This road also leads to the Salsair Farmsteadings, for which the gate is named.

My dic didn‘t find farmsteading, just farmstead... Shouldn‘t it have a small letter?
 
The New City is inhabited by the more agrarian Salsair society.  Those who work the Farmsteadings live here, as well as woodworkers, foresters that cut trees in the Salvis Wood, stonemasons and others.  For the most part, this part of the city is very quiet and peaceful.

Don‘t the farmers live on their farms outside around the city?


The Old City is found within the original Salsair walls on the eastern side of the Aelunn.  This is a much older part of the city.  Here are found the alehouses, the merchants and Guild Houses and temples.  Coram’s Gate is the only gate into the Old City, and all traffic in and out is scrutinized by the city guard.

The Western Shore is a section of the city that has its own wall built around it.  It is within this area that many wealthy nobles and even a few wealthy merchants own summer retreats.  In the summer, this area is bustling with activity and a large contingent of guards keep the peace and undesirables outside the gates.  By contrast, in winter it is a ghost town, as everyone has long gone back to their permanent residences.  Only a handful of guards man the gates while a few patrol the empty streets on the lookout for thieves.

The Foiron is a temple devoted to Foiros.  It is a circular building, honouring the Circle which is a symbol of Foiros, the God of Fire and Justice.  Like the White Citadel, it has the same white cladding stones with intricately cut geometric designs cut into it along the upper edge, inlaid with gold.  During the day, with the sunlight on it, it seems to glow.  A tower rises from the center of the temple, which used to be the highest building in the city until the construction of the White Citadel.  At the top of the temple there is a room, the Foirostra, which is a semi circular room, opening wide to the south, facing Lake Aelignós, though in truth it was built to face the sun, the ultimate symbol of Foiros.  This room has golden walls, while a huge brazier in the center of the room blazes.  The effect is that it creates a marker for all the fishermen on the lake, which guides them at night or during poor weather, back to the safety of the city.  Outside the temple, 50 ceremonial braziers are always kept burning, and they form a circle around the temple, as well as creating a pathway to the temples ornate wooden doors.  A marble unicorn stands in the center of the temple, rising majestically on its back legs, while a unicorn against a blazing sun is carved into each of the double doors of Ashwude.  The Foiron is used by the Pheramethár of Foiros (the highest ranking cleric) as his summer retreat from his seat of power in Cemphiria.

Don‘t know, how this guy should be spelled..with or without á

The White Citadel stands in the heart of the old city.  This was the spot where Salaman built his palace at the founding of Salsair.  Over the course of time the palace was redesigned and reconstructed many times.  The last time was during the reign of Harhold, Duke of Aurora, in 987 aS.  He greatly reduced the size of the palace, using much of the leftover stone to build the old wall.  Though smaller in size, it was built much higher, giving him a spectacular view from the rooftop gardens that linked to his private solar. 

Lake Aelignós is famous for its beautiful white stone that forms much of its banks.  Though this stone is too soft for construction of buildings, Harhold used it simply as cladding for the darker building stones beneath it.  This white Citadel can be seen for strals in every direction and is a symbol of Salsair, being incorporated into its Coat of Arms.

Somehow I think the White Citadel should come before the Foiron, probably because you mention it there and I ask myself, what it is

Exomater’s Square is where most of the city’s buying and selling can be found.  Each morning, dozens of merchants haul their goods by cart to the square and set up in predetermined areas that they rent from the city council.  Each night they are required by law to remove their carts, leaving the square empty, where city workers clean the square.  Pigs do most of the cleaning, eating all the leftover garbage and rotting food left behind.  The owners of the pigs get the free feed for their animals in return for cleaning any dung the pigs might otherwise leave behind.  It is because of this that Exomater’s Square is sometimes referred to as Squealer’s Square.

A nice use of pigs! lol

Fisherman’s Quay is a stone projection into the lake where the local fishing fleet harbours their boats at night.  The quay can accommodate nearly fifty fishing boats, and iron rings and stone projections are used to moor the boats to the quay.  Fisher Street leads directly from the quay to Exomater Square so the fish can be taken to market and sold fresh.  Smoker Street leads directly to large smokehouses where other fish is dried for selling in other communities.

The Canal Area is an area found at the mouth of the Aelunn River where it flows from Lake Aelignós.  The original sandbars where the first inhabitants lived are joined by six stone bridges called the Six Maidens.  Each arched bridge has a stone statue of a maiden at the crown of the arch in the center of the bridge.  The six maidens refer to the architect’s six daughters, whom he immortalized in stone.  They do limit the bridges to pedestrian traffic only, as a cart would not fit beyond the statues.  Many buildings here are built upon stilts to protect them from flooding and flat bottomed boats are used to navigate between them, propelled by pole bearers.

The canal area also includes a large area on the western side of the Aelunn.  The original city here was flooded in 642 aS, when a storm completely changed the shoreline and how it emptied into the river.  Many buildings were washed away, and there were many lives lost.  The Night of Great Sorrow was the largest natural disaster in Salsair’s history.

The one thing this storm created for Salsair, which makes it unique in Santharia, is it created the Sunken City.  Many buildings made of stone were not washed away in the flood, but rather crumbled and fell or simply sank whole beneath the waves.  This area is now regarded as almost mystical by the populace and either avoided by most of them, while attracting the more adventurous among them.  Tales of spirits haunting the building can be heard whispered at night, as well as tales of lost treasure sunk under the water.

Maybe it would be even cooler, if part of the city, at the edge of the area where the disaster struck, was still intact , but sak slowly neneath the waves, within a few years. So you would have houses under water , which are whole, not broken and crumbled. Describe the underwater city a it more. How has it changed? Are uderwaterplants growing in the garden, have clamps and mussels settles there? Which other (special?) animals live there?

One factor about the Sunken City that is true without a doubt is that there are many sightings of Rivermaids there.  These sightings are usually made when the first rays of light at dawn or the last beams of light at dusk and usually only for a moment.  It is surmised that the Rivermaids use the sunken buildings as shelter at night, then during the day travel down the Aelunn to their hunting areas.  Some locals have come to calling the area Mertown.  For the most part, there is no interaction between the locals and the Rivermaids, though this is mainly because the Rivermaids show no interest in human activity.  Many a young man has caught a glimpse of these beautiful creatures and thereafter stood on the shores mooning over a lost love that was never really theirs to begin with.  See the section on Lore for a story of one such lad.


Location.

The Santharian city of Salsair is found on the northern shores of Lake Aelignós, one of the six bodies of fresh water that make up the Aerelian Lakes system.  This is in the northern province of Vardynn, part of the Kingdom of Santharia on the continent of Sarvonia.  Directly across the lake is found Salsair's sister city, Cargammon.

To the north, the great city Milkengrad is found, and further on, the provincial capital of Voldar.  To the northeast the rich and fertile Salsair Farmsteadings are found, sometimes called the Breadbasket of the North.  To the east, the ominous smoke of the Heckra Volcano rises toward the heavens.  In the west can be found the important coastal town of Thyslan.

People.

Salsair is a city of close to 65,000 people.  The vast majority are human, being mostly Centoraurian.  The Duke of Aurora has made his home here for centuries, and before that the Centoraurian Kings ruled.  Salsair has deep roots in Centoraurian history.  But, within the human community, a large number of Helcrani can also be found.  Many of these are relatively new to Salsair, being merchants who set up shops and industry.  This was because Salsair was a good stopping point between Milkengrad to the northwest and other Helcrani communities such as Menegula, Sostra Town, Codomma, Ahaiwanna and Heleroth to the east. 

I don't know if your town is a bit big, have to check this fief thingy again. I really don't know. The question is -  was there a counting of the citizens of a town? Did the Earl know, that there were 65 000 or did the people think back then only in terms of fairly big or so? We have numbers in other entries though. How did you come up with that number?

A community of Daran Gnomes also make their home within the walls of the Old City.  This community is divided into two main groups.  By far the larger of these groups has very good relations with the humans of Salsair.  They are referred to by many as the Salsair Daran, which has been shortened to Salran.  Salran trade, and interact with humans, not fearing to travel into human areas as well as inviting humans into their area.   A particular Daran Gnome, called The Salran, is even called upon to serve in the city council. 

The second community of Daran Gnomes is found deep within the Salran community, though they are separated by a wooden picket fence.  This group refuses to deal directly with the humans, and humans are banned from entering this community.  The Salran express their respect for the Darans by discreetly guiding humans away from the Daran area, and most Salsair humans have no idea this subgroup of Gnomes even exist.  This keeps the peace between the two Gnome groups.

Other races and tribes can be found here as well, and for the most part they get along.  Salsair has been at peace for many years and few want that to change by foolishly igniting the racial tensions that used to flare dangerously.

Coat of Arms.

Salsair has a Coat of Arms that consists of a White Citadel against an azure blue background emphasized by darker blue wave lines.  This represents the Duke’s Citadel, the white clad building within the city that is home to the Duke of Aurora, while the blue is obviously Lake Aelignós, which has long played an important role in the area.

Climate.

The climate of Salsair is very much affected by the Aerelian Lakes.  It is a place of mild winters and refreshing summers.  During the winter, very little actual snow falls.  There is much moisture, but this comes in the form of rain, though if conditions are right, a freezing rain can fall, leaving everything covered in a thin coating of ice.  Mornings can be a beautiful sight, with the sun coming over the horizon and refracting off the frozen fields.  This layer of ice usually melts during the day.

Summers are cool, again with much rain, though it is more prevalent at night.  The combination of warm days followed by a cooling in the evening has contributed to Salsair's reputation as a summer retreat for those wealthy enough to have a summer home there.

Wind is predominantly from the west and southwest, which is why the farmsteadings to the northeast get such moisture that allows for near continuous bumper crops.  In winter the wind switches to predominantly from the west and northwest.  The winds of winter are much stronger than the winds of summer, which causes the occasional blizzard, but the general mild climate dictates that these storms are rare and short in duration.

Have you looked at the Santharian climate? Maybe allow somt snow now and then? Especially consider the extremes...

http://www.santharia.com/places/santharia.htm#Climate



Mythology.

It is said that King Salaman was traveling across the Aurora Fields with his contingent of horse warriors and immense horse herd, when they drove the herd to the mouth of the Aelunn River to water them.  Salaman’s wife, Salsai became so enamoured of the location that she stated that she had finally found the spot where she could plant her roots and raise the kings children.  It is said that although as a true Centoraurian, Salaman could not understand her desire to stay in one spot rather than the nomadic way of her people, he was so much in love with her that he was unable to deny her every whim.  He chose a prime spot on a rise overlooking the sandbars that were home to the local fisherman, and he built her a palace that all who saw it were envious.  This must have made her quite happy, for she bore him 15 children, all boys but two.

Nice Lore... Next entry for you is a person‘s description ;)

Resources.

Salsair is rich in resources.  Of course, Lake Aelignós provides much of this.  Fishermen here make a good living throwing there nets from their fishing boats and bringing in hauls of Mithanjor and other varieties of fish.  Dried and salted, or smoked, this fish is then sold all over northern Santharia.

The Salsair Farmsteadings are famous throughout Santharia.  Due to the good amount of rainfall, the mild summers, early spring and late autumns, plus the rich dark soil in the shadow of the Heckra Volcano, crops grow quickly and full here.  Most years, farmers here are able to plant a second crop, called the Winter Harvest, which they collect in late autumn.  This has led to the farmsteadings being referred to as the Breadbasket of the North.  Grain here is delivered and sold throughout the north of the kingdom, not only in the province of Vardynn, but neighboring provinces of Xaramon,  Nermeran and Enthronia. 

The Equine Plains to the northwest are vast tracts of rich grasslands.  These are used by herders to graze many types of cattle and sheep as well as horses.  Thus, Salsair is able to sell much livestock to other areas of the kingdom.  Add to this the wool that these herds of sheep produce, and Salsair can claim to be a major trading hub.

Artisans in the city also use the wool to create much in the way of cloth, which is sold elsewhere.  Most of this cloth is taken by merchants and exported to Carmelad to be dyed, thus increasing its value.

The Daran Gnomes create much in the way of jewelry.  From wooden items to fine metal and gem encrusted trinkets, the Salran have created a name for themselves, and their Jewelry guild has insisted that each item be stamped with a tiny symbol bearing their mark.  Items with this mark often times are sold for up to three times an item without the mark goes for.

Water truly is a resource that Salsair is rich in as well.  From a haven for artists to come and create beautiful masterpieces commissioned by well paying nobles, to perceived special properties, it is the lakes themselves that draw people to the city.  Artists flood the city each spring, most by commission but many to simply paint and sell their works on the streets of Salsair, and they stay through the summer. 

As well, many of the breeders in and around Salsair firmly believe that the waters of the lakes have special properties that make their animals more special than other animals of the like.  This is especially true of the horse breeders.  Centoraurian horses are considered some of the most beautiful in the kingdom, and those from around Salsair even more so.

To add to this, and to expand the reach of the lake waters, a gnome inspired irrigation system is being created to bring water from the lake direct to the Equine Plains.  A man made aqueduct is being built that will bring water from Lake Salestra to the plains.  The aqueduct is fed by a oxen powered pumping station that draws the water up to the aqueduct, where gravity takes over and takes it ultimately to the plains.  It is not yet finished.

Do we know the term gravity? Cool idea, those unfinished projekts, they make the city a living one

Special Occasions.

Every fifth summer, people from all over Santharia travel to Salsair.  This is when the city holds one of the most famous festivals in the kingdom.  The Salsair Festival of the Horse takes place every fifth Burning Heavens during the second week.  It lasts for one week and started out as a Centoraurian festival dedicated to their horses.  The festival has grown and includes many events and tournaments.

On the first day of Burning Heavens, the month dedicated to Foiros, the renewal ceremony takes place.  This is when all the braziers around the temple, with the exception of the fire in the Foirostra, are extinguished.  The Duke is then allowed to light the first brazier with a brand lit in the fires of Heckra.  The other braziers are lit by nobles, clerics and a few by people of Salsair chosen by the clerics over the course of the year by exemplifying the spirit of Salsair.  This brand has been previously been carried from Heckra to Salsair, carried only by the High Cleric of the temple, and on occasion the Pheramethár of Foiros, if his health should allow it.  This ceremony is said to express the renewal of a new year and bring good tidings for the next.

I don‘t know, if the Heckra is active so you can get fire from it, nor if you could go near enough to a lava flow either... Well, yes, that might be possible, with some protection.

The last day of Burning Heavens is also important in Salsair.  This is the Dedication Ceremony.  Historically, this is when two people dedicate themselves to each other.  More often than not, it involves lovers marking their betrothal, but can be a lower individual dedicating their service to a higher figure.  Many nobles dedicate themselves to the Duke in this manner, though the Duke in most cases appoints a representative to accept the dedication on his behalf, for reasons to follow.  The two people to dedicate themselves each strip off one sleeve, exposing their arm.  The arm chosen usually is decided by the type of dedication to be done.  Lovers expose the left arm, as it is closest to the heart, while men swearing fealty to their lord will expose their right arm, which is associated with strength and holding a weapon.  A metal stick is heated in the fires, and on this stick is a small metal unicorn head about a thumbwidth in size, which is also heated.  The stick is held forth by the cleric and the two individuals press the inner side of their forearms together with the unicorn head between them.  The resulting scar in the shape of a unicorn head on each arm binds the two together for eternity.  It is because of this that obviously the Duke does not partake of the ceremony himself, for he would have hundreds of scars on his arm from nobles swearing allegiance to him.  On the rare occasion that the Duke does consent to this, as in a betrothal or even accepting of fealty from a particularly important noble, then this ceremony is private and held in the Foirostra, using the sacred flame.

Cool


Myth/Lore.

Ages long past, Tylunn was the son of a fisherman in Salsair.    By all accounts he was a hard working serious young man who never let his chores fall by the wayside.  One morning Tylunn was on his way to meet his father’s boat for a day on the lake pulling in the harvest of fish they would catch in their nets.  He heard some splashing in the water and the sounds of girls laughing.  His interest raised, he came to the edge of water near the Sunken City.  As soon as his presence was perceived, the figures in the water dove beneath the surface, leaving only ripples to show anyone that there was something was there.  Tylunn was baffled as anyone would be, and a bit concerned.  He called to the figures, but no answer came, and no one came up for air.  Curious, he crawled out onto the ruins of a partially submerged building and stared into the deep blue green waters of the lake.  At first he could see nothing, but then he thought he could see his face.  He wanted it to simply be his own reflection in the water’s surface, but the image got stronger until it was clear that it was not his reflection.  The face was one of a very beautiful young maiden.  It was clear for a moment, and then was gone.

Each morning thereafter, Tylunn was to make his way to that particular spot and stare into the water until the face that captured him so would reappear, then vanish again.  He began to dream of the face beneath the waves and his heart longed for her.  Soon he was not the same lad he had once been.  He began to miss going out on his father’s boat in order to spend more time staring into the water.  He began to go at twilight as well, and each time his maiden would be there staring up at him.

He tried to call to her, but each time he did, his maiden would disappear, so soon his time with her was one of silent longing.  He missed meals, he lacked sleep, he lost friends.  He was consumed by her; his every waking thought was of her.

Tylunn began to kneel, getting closer to the water, then took to lying on his stomach, his head out over the water.  One day, when sleep was threatening to overtake him, his head nodded downward, to where his nose broke the surface of the water.  Just as he was about to pull up, the water broke and the maiden’s lips touched his.  Ever so gentle it was a kiss that filled him with love and longing.  So each morning and each evening he would lower his face to the water’s surface and each time his maiden would come close enough to give him the sweetest of light kisses before disappearing into the depths.

Tylunn vowed to teach himself to hold his breath so that he might join her.  He asked his family, he asked his friends, but all simply told him the foolishness of his plan and advised him to leave her be.  But Tylunn was unperturbed and began to place his head beneath the water, holding his breath as long as he could.  Each day he could do so longer.

One day, Tylunn could not be found, though many searched for the young lad.  His family was convinced that he had drowned, seduced by the maiden into diving beneath the waves.  His father vowed to kill the folk beneath the waves, and each day he stood on the same shore that Tylunn had stood, harpoon in hand, hoping to kill the maiden.  But, he never saw her or any of her kind or even his lost son.

One day, about a year later, the father and his boat were caught in a sudden squall that blew in on the lake.  Trying to get back to the safety of Salsair, his boat was swamped and he fell into the water, prepared to die.  Just as he was about to sink beneath the waves, within sight of the shore and Salsair, he felt hands under him, holding him above the water and carrying him toward the land.  He was deposited gently in shallow water and he knew he would not drown.

Turning and staring out at the choppy waves, he saw Tylunn in the water, next to him the face of a beautiful young maiden, and between them a child.  Tears filling his eyes, the father waved goodbye to his son and his son’s family, never to see them again.  And never again would he hunt for the maiden with his harpoon.

I need to link from the Rivermaid entry to this one!

I have a look at the history tomorrow!

Nice town and not really something to nitpick!
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« Reply #16 on: 19 February 2014, 10:39:53 »

Quote
My dic didn‘t find farmsteading, just farmstead... Shouldn‘t it have a small letter?
Not in my dictionary either, but it must be in Arti's. :)  That is the way it is on the Vardynn Map, and I wanted to stay consistent with that.

Quote
Don‘t the farmers live on their farms outside around the city?
  Well, I figured that was a huge tract of land, and if there were that many homesteads there, it would create a town in of itself.  So, I figured that there are some houses their with farmers living there, but there are many more who are day labourers who go out only for the day during peak times in the season, such as sowing time and harvest time.  They don't own the farm or the product on it, but are paid wages.  I suppose I could explain that in the entry if it works for you.  Or, I could hold off and create a small Salsair Farmsteadings entry that names the families that live there, the crops, and the way they work.  Obviously, these would be farming nobility and not your run of the mill peasant farmer.

Quote
Don‘t know, how this guy should be spelled..with or without á
  Was a cop[y and paste.  Whatever you decide.  Though, if I think about it, without might make more sense.  With always makes me think elves.

Quote
Somehow I think the White Citadel should come before the Foiron, probably because you mention it there and I ask myself, what it is
  Yeah, I think I originally had it that way and changed it.  Now the text does not flow as nicely.  I'll move that.

Quote
Maybe it would be even cooler, if part of the city, at the edge of the area where the disaster struck, was still intact , but sak slowly neneath the waves, within a few years. So you would have houses under water , which are whole, not broken and crumbled. Describe the underwater city a it more. How has it changed? Are uderwaterplants growing in the garden, have clamps and mussels settles there? Which other (special?) animals live there?
  Good idea.  I'll work something in about that. :)

Quote
I don't know if your town is a bit big, have to check this fief thingy again. I really don't know. The question is -  was there a counting of the citizens of a town? Did the Earl know, that there were 65 000 or did the people think back then only in terms of fairly big or so? We have numbers in other entries though. How did you come up with that number?
  Well, from the look of the map, I judged it to be the same size as Voldar, but when I looked at the Voldar entry, it said it had 150,000 people.  I thought that was way to big, so I cut it to just less than half.  I'm okay with going a bit smaller if needed, but really it has been an important city for a very long time so it should be a city of substance.

Quote
Have you looked at the Santharian climate? Maybe allow somt snow now and then? Especially consider the extremes...
  I went based on what was on site.  I'll look closer at your link and see what I can do.  I never really thought there would be no snow, and I might have not gotten that across very well.  I'll reword it at the very least.

Quote
Nice Lore... Next entry for you is a person‘s description
  Maybe.....

Quote
Do we know the term gravity? Cool idea, those unfinished projekts, they make the city a living one
  Well, the aqueducts are mine, but the unfinished irrigation project I think was Raynes in the Lake entry.  I liked it.

Quote
I don‘t know, if the Heckra is active so you can get fire from it, nor if you could go near enough to a lava flow either... Well, yes, that might be possible, with some protection.
  It is.  We could always hire a dwarf. :p

Quote
Nice town and not really something to nitpick!
  You're getting soft or I'm getting smarter. rolleyes
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« Reply #17 on: 19 February 2014, 22:47:50 »

Let's assume, you are getting smarter... ;)

Without roaming through the history myself, I see no problems there (I do get soft..). The only remark I have

Quote
People have lived on the shores of Lake Aelignós since men walked the disk.

Well, if you want to say, that they lived there for a long time, then it is okay, otherwise no...

 more like

'since the tribes fled Fá'áv'cál'âr and ventured South, the shores were always inhabited' or something like this..

(even if it would be not like this, the current belief is, that it happened this way)

Ok, another aura for you being so smart (and because the number looks nicer)... and one for Mina also, who helps where he can..
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« Reply #18 on: 25 February 2014, 05:53:28 »

Wouldn't this pic fit for the mermaids/rivermaids and the story of that youth?
http://sandara.deviantart.com/art/hello-there-136072600
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« Reply #19 on: 25 February 2014, 10:52:36 »

 azn  Helloooooo  His name is Tylunn. :P

But, yes, that pic makes it look like I wrote the Lore for it specifically.
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« Reply #20 on: 02 March 2014, 05:12:53 »

Edits done in Fuchsia

Think I got all of it. :D
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« Reply #21 on: 02 March 2014, 13:16:22 »

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Where the waters of Lake Aelignós gently lap against the shore near the mouth of the Aelunn River, Salsair started out as a small fishing village.
Source, not mouth. 

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It also serves as a major hub for both fishing and agriculture in the area.
Being a center of trade would be logical as well.  It is after all located at the outlet of the Aerelian Lakes system, making it essentially a hub for waterborne trade. 

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There is the New City, which is outside the original walls.  This area is mostly found on the northern side of the city, following the Aelunn River.  This area is not protected by a defensive wall, though one is under construction, being found on the eastern side of the Aelunn.  The road north to Mirenn is unhampered by a gate.  On the east side of town, the wall is more completed, and Farmstead Gate controls the road to North Arlemaroth and Aregarth.  This road also leads to the Salsair Farmsteadings, for which the gate is named.
These seem to refer to different places.  I think the unprotected part might be the west? 

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Those that work the Farmsteadings are mostly day labourers and not landowners nor peasants who live on the land itself.  During the sowing and harvesting seasons, a parade each morning and each nightfall marks the many who work the fields.
The Salsair Farmsteadings are too far from Salsair itself to travel to and from each day.  It's 50-100km away, so it's going to take several days of walking just to reach.  According to stuff I've read in the past, medieval settlements were generally located about few hours' walk from each other (about 20km I think), so a farmer could leave for a neighbouring town at dawn, spend a few hours there probably buying and selling things, and be back home by sunset.  Perhaps instead of walking to and from it each day, the labourers stay there for the duration of the sowing and harvest seasons and return after?

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The Western Shore is a section of the city that has its own wall built around it. [...]
I find it a little odd that this paragraph is inserted between the Old City introduction and several sections that seem to be about locations within the Old City.  Maybe it could be moved elsewhere?

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Lake Aelignós is famous for its beautiful white stone that forms much of its banks.  Though this stone is too soft for construction of buildings, Harhold used it simply as cladding for the darker building stones beneath it.  This white Citadel can be seen for strals in every direction and is a symbol of Salsair, being incorporated into its Coat of Arms.
Why is this paragraph separated from the main White Citadel paragraph by something unrelated?

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Sunken City
Love this part. thumbup

One thought that occurs to me is that there might be legends about those lost in the original sinking being turned into rivermaids.  Regardless of the truth of the matter, it seems to be the sort of story that might spring up if rivermaids started appearing soon after. 

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Cargammon
Corgammon.

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Mythology.
Shouldn't this be part of the Myth/Lore section?

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Ephiagar is killed [...]
That should be "was", I think. 

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Later, the two sons of Tephron begin a civil war over control over the Centoraurian throne.  This throws the kingdom into chaos.  A man named Exomater takes the palace in Salsair and he claims to be the lost son of Ephiagar.  He names himself King of Centorauria.  Soon, many cities declare themselves independent.  In an effort to reunite the cities, Salsair comes into conflict with Thyslan.  They both form independent Duchies, as do many other of the city states.  Salsair became the capital of the Duchy of Aurora.  Under Curagana, Salsair once more joined with the other cities of Centorauria.
This whole paragraph is in present tense for some reason.  It should probably be in the past tense, I think.
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #22 on: 02 March 2014, 23:32:03 »

 :D  Thanks Mina, I have integrated your changes.  I created a new myth, which I quite like as per your suggestion.  Thank you for the comments.  Both you and Talia get Auried for your work on this. :)

The present tense History paragraph was because I was going from the History Tables, which are written in present tense, and I forgot to convert that when I was writing.

The day labourers I changed to wage labourers and put them in temporary camps during the busy season.  That can be expanded on during a Farmsteading entry, by myself or others.

One thing, however, is the New City.  I'm not sure I understand your critique on this, not that I might not agree with it, just that I don't understand it.

I had envisioned an original walled city, because of all the historic wars and sieges that have befallen Salsair.  In the recent years, as it became less important militarily and more important economically, that as the population boomed, that people were forced to build outside of the walls.  I didn't think they would go in only one direction, but equally placed around the wall.  Then a new wall would be needed, which I decided would be built in a counter clockwise direction from the eastern side going north then around to the western side, but that at the moment mostly only the eastern side is complete, with the gate to the road heading to North Arlemaroth and Aregarth.
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« Reply #23 on: 03 March 2014, 00:07:40 »

I see.  Well, I meant this part:
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This area is not protected by a defensive wall, though one is under construction, being found on the eastern side of the Aelunn.  The road north to Mirenn is unhampered by a gate.  
The next bit says the wall is more complete in the east.  

Edit: A zombie apocalypse? grin
« Last Edit: 03 March 2014, 00:11:34 by Mina » Logged

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« Reply #24 on: 03 March 2014, 03:37:41 »

I completely rewrote that paragraph, Mina.  Let me know if it makes more sense now.

 :D  Too much watching Walking Dead?
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« Reply #25 on: 03 March 2014, 11:49:30 »

Yes, I think it's clearer now. 
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #26 on: 04 March 2014, 06:21:09 »

Edit:  I changed the population from 65,000 down to 20,000.  After looking at a few more cities, it would seem that perhaps Voldar's 150,000 might be outside the norm of all the other cities and may need changing in an update. 
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« Reply #27 on: 07 March 2014, 14:54:11 »

Hey, a new myth!  :D

Otherwise  thumbup
The numbers of all cities have to be revised - but when and how? ;)
Are you colourblind? Fuchsia.... *shakes head and looks questioning at Altario* You are teasing!

Edit after another hour in bed: Sorry for altering your myth Altario, but I could not resist! Take what you like from you proposals!


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Another legend of the Sunken City is related here.

It is said that immediately after the storms and floods that caused part of the city to sink beneath the waters of Lake Aelignós, that the Clerics of Foiros begged the Duke to make offerings to the Twelve where the city had disappeared and many of the cities inhabitants had perished.  The Duke, who's own daughter was one of those who had died, angrily refused and cursed the gods.  The clerics were dismayed and ominously predicted dire consequences for the Duke's angry words.

As you have mainly clerics of Foiros in your city, this might be ok, otherwise they would be not my first choice for that problem, more clerics of Grothar. (Or the one cleric of Grothar had asked the clerics of foiros to help him, but that's not needed here to be explained). Maybe..*think* you could add: ..as the most influential group of clerics.. or something like this?


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True enough, within a fortnight, those who had died beneath the lake began to rise as zombiis.  The evil dead came up onto land each night and killed and fed on the people of Salsair.  The city guard was unable to stop them.  

Do we have 'zombies'?, The word? Might it not be better to describe them here?
....those who had died beneath the lake began to rise again, changed terribly, with pale, tumid skin, their former bright clothes hanging in worn, bleached rags from their unshaped limps.

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The evil dead came up onto land each night and killed and fed on the people of Salsair.
That's too unimaginative, Alt, what about..
The miserable dead came up onto land each night , dripping wet and smelling, and haunted their relatives, trying to get back into their houses and beds, ignoring their former beloved though, killing thouse who tried to get into their way. Nobody managed to chase them away, the guards were helpless. Trying to slash them did not work, they just moved on, not recognising, that an arm or foot was missing.
What do you think?  


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The clerics revisited the Duke and pleaded with him to appease the gods.
 They stated that the gods were very angry and that the Duke personally had to make a sacrifice to them.
 

I'm a bit out of action... but I think our gods would not care this much to be angry. At least it would not be the belief of the priests, the normal people might do it though. Why should they be angry?

Need to go, more later

Ok, here we go....

The citizens of Salsair wondered, why such a disaster had smitten their town, first the floods and part of the city sunken into the water, then the dead coming out of the water. What was amiss? Soon they realised, that there was a magnificent temple for Foiros, the god of fire, but only small places where Baveras, the goddess of water  and Grothar , the weathergod were worshipped.   Should they have been angry and therefore sent those plagues? Money was collected - everybody gave freely, soon the foundation of a temple for Baveras and Grothar were laid and in short time a two story building was raised close by the water - the base level, dedicated to Baveras was susceptible(??) to flooding, the upper dedicated to Grothar open to the winds, a building concept which was copied many times after and widely known as a Salsair  temple.

The risen undead though, what about them? Needed Queprur appeaasing also?




As soon as the new temple was finished, the Duke and Duchess, with a retinue of a hundred guards went to the shores of the sunken city, where the new temple was errected.   He began to pray to Baveras and Grothar, to Seyella and Eyasha and most of the Twelve , naming them and begging their forgiveness and asking that the curse be lifted from his city.

(Actually, I think it would be better to skip all other gods except Baveras, Grothar - and Queprur)

Against the plaintive cries of his wife, and the earnest advice of his guards, the Duke waded out into the water until it was up around his waist, raised his arms and began to pray to Queprur, calling out for her to end the invasion of the dead and bind them to her realm.
 He then offered himself as a sacrifice to them in order to seal the bargain.

Almost at once, dozens of the dreaded zombiis  drowned undead rose from the depths and grabbed the Duke, who stoically allowed himself to be dragged beneath the waves.  The Duchess screamed in her grief, surrounded by the guards, but no zombii one of these abominations who had been their  relatives came to the shore and all disappeared beneath the water.

Instead, suddenly the sound of laughter could be heard.  As everyone stopped and listened the laughing grew louder as did the sounds of splashing.  Looking out over the water, the Duchess was able to discern the shapes of rivermaids frolicking merrily.  One rivermaid in particular caught her eye, and it swam nearer the shore.  This rivermaid had all the features of her dear departed daughter who had drowned when the city sank.  The Rivermaid locked eyes with the Duchess for the briefest of moments, appeared to raise a hand in greeting, then dove beneath, its tail slapping the surface with a splash.

The Duchess and the clerics knew then that the gods had been appeased and once more granted life to those who had died in the disaster, allowing them to live as Rivermaids in the waters of the Aelunn river.

Nice story, need that to link to the rivermaid entry!

I dearly hope you are not too distressed...   ;)


« Last Edit: 07 March 2014, 16:26:29 by Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels » Logged

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« Reply #28 on: 07 March 2014, 21:32:58 »

It's morning before work, so I'll comment on your comments about my comments, which refer to comments made....  oh forget it.  Anywho, I'll comment here and do the edits this weekend (in between finishing on your Darian people  rolleyes)

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As you have mainly clerics of Foiros in your city, this might be ok, otherwise they would be not my first choice for that problem, more clerics of Grothar. (Or the one cleric of Grothar had asked the clerics of foiros to help him, but that's not needed here to be explained). Maybe..*think* you could add: ..as the most influential group of clerics.. or something like this?
I can do this, yes.

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Do we have 'zombies'?, The word? Might it not be better to describe them here?
....those who had died beneath the lake began to rise again, changed terribly, with pale, tumid skin, their former bright clothes hanging in worn, bleached rags from their unshaped limps.
 We don't have Zombies, but we do have Zombiis, at least according to the Undead Overview.  But, yup, a quick description is easy to add.  EDIT: Actually, Zombiis have their own entry, created by Viresse.

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That's too unimaginative, Alt, what about..
The miserable dead came up onto land each night , dripping wet and smelling, and haunted their relatives, trying to get back into their houses and beds, ignoring their former beloved though, killing thouse who tried to get into their way. Nobody managed to chase them away, the guards were helpless. Trying to slash them did not work, they just moved on, not recognising, that an arm or foot was missing.
What do you think?  
Agreed.  I haven't been at my best the last week.  I like this better.

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I'm a bit out of action... but I think our gods would not care this much to be angry. At least it would not be the belief of the priests, the normal people might do it though. Why should they be angry?
The gods became angry when the Duke cursed them after the death of his daughter.

I like the rewrites of the myth, and I'll apply them this weekend, then hopefully it will be ready for Arti to integrate. Thank you Talia, and Mina.  One more Auri for each of you. :)

PS;   angry  You just nevermind about my colour choices.  It's a personal choice. :P
« Last Edit: 07 March 2014, 21:36:40 by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #29 on: 18 March 2014, 04:36:59 »

Ok ALt, a few comments from here as well now that I've read most of the entry (got until Myth/Lore, will continue tomorrow):

- Don't forget to mention some more basics in the Overview - that Vardýnn ls located in Santharia and how many people live there and what tribe they primarily belong to. All key data the Overview should contain!

- Also you should ideally provide captions for the various sections of the site which you describe, like New City, Old City, White Citadel, Lake Aelignós, Exomater’s Square ("Squealer's Square") etc. That way we can make a nice list with bullets and stuff and make it easier for the reader to find something.

- Same thing should be made e.g.at the Special Occasions section - there are two such events, so why not make two captions?

- To fix:
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Some are whitewashed with timber frames, others simple mud covered homes of poorer citizen

At the top of the temple there is a room, the Foirostra, semi circular by design,...

...while a unicorn against a blazing sun is carved into each of the double doors of ashwude.

The one thing this storm created for Salsair, which makes it unique in Santharia, is that it created the Sunken City. (If you split this in sections with captions, make sure that the storm is explained briefly, so that the section makes sense whe read alone independently.)

Many a soul has been sucked below...

Rivermaids  --> rivermaids (a couple of times)

 Directly across the lake is found Salsair's sister city, Corgammon.

Try to avoid repetitions:
To the north, the great city Milkengrad is found, and further on, the provincial capital of Voldar.  To the northeast the rich and fertile Salsair Farmsteadings are found, sometimes called the Breadbasket of the North.  To the east, the ominous smoke of the Heckra Volcano rises toward the heavens.  In the west can be found the important coastal town of Thyslan.

...and most Salsair humans have no idea this subgroup of Gnomes even exists.

Of course, Lake Aelignós provides much of this.  Fishermen here make a good living throwing their nets...

This brand has been previously been carried from Heckra to Salsair...

A very nice entry so far and definitely an aura +1 well deserved, another aura will be coming tomorrow! I really like the diversity of the city and its unique character with the Sunken City idea for example, the Foiros temple with its ceremonial braziers, the gnome inspired irrigation system, the Centoraurian horses that thrive her and such events like the Salsair Festival and the Dedication Ceremony with the betrothals :) All beautiful touches that give the city something special, and of course with its location near the lake this is an absolutely lovely place for a summer retreat... - I should book my next holidays there... :D

Further checks to come tomorrow!  thumbup
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