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Author Topic: Brutalizer  (Read 4519 times)
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merin
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« on: 18 March 2014, 08:49:22 »

So this is my first actual post, little envious I'll get something wrong but here we go. Basically I got the idea from the great Maul
Name: Brutalizer
Overview: Blunt weapons Hammer
Description: Brutalizers are commonly used by Warlord Losh-Oc Orcs, and are made up of a heavy block of metal with holes drilled through it and spikes on either end atop of a long wooden shaft. Most Brutalizers are made of iron making it a prized weapon among the Losh-Oc Orcs. Shaft lengths tend to be two peds and unlike its sister hammer the shafts are commonly made of steel and have a pike at the end of it.
Usage: Brutalizers are a weapon mostly known and keep secret by the Losh-Oc Orcs.   
Fighting style: Brutalizers are surprisingly fast despite their size and weight, due to the holes drilled into the head of it. When facing more than one foe, the wielder swings the maul as hard as they can from side to side keeping them from getting close enough to attack. When facing one enemy the wielder will strike at their foe until they make a mistake, then punish them for their failure by smashing their skull, or impaling them with the shaft of the Maul.
Origin/ History: No one knows for sure how the makings of the Brutalizer came to be, but it believed that it was made by a great Losh-Oc Orc that got his hands upon a pillaged Great Maul.
« Last Edit: 18 March 2014, 09:53:58 by merin » Logged

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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #1 on: 18 March 2014, 13:26:53 »

Hi, Merin.  Good to see you've jumped in. :)  I will comment in my ever favourite colour of cerubell.  

First Comment, please put spaces between the sections so that it is not a giant block of text that is very hard to read. :)
Name: Brutalizer

Overview: Blunt weapons Hammer

Description: Brutalizers are commonly used by Warlord Losh-Oc Orcs, and are made up of a heavy block of metal with holes drilled through it and spikes on either end atop of a long wooden shaft. Most Brutalizers are made of iron making it a prized weapon among the Losh-Oc Orcs. Shaft lengths tend to be two peds and unlike its sister hammer the shafts are commonly made of steel and have a pike at the end of it. How do the orcs, who are not known for skilled forging, according to the entry (they use crude weapons) create an iron head with drilled holes in it?  This seems a bit advanced for them, in my opinion.  Also, if the shaft of the maul has a spiked end, does this spike then interfere with the users ability to wield it?  Wouldn't want to stab yourself while swinging it wildly about  ;)

Usage: Brutalizers are a weapon mostly known and keep secret by the Losh-Oc Orcs.  How do you keep a weapon like this secret?  Perhaps stating that the Losh-Oc are the one tribe that prefers this weapon could be said, but I think saying that they are the one tribe knowing about it is too far.

Fighting style: Brutalizers are surprisingly fast despite their size and weight, due to the holes drilled into the head of it. When facing more than one foe, the wielder swings the maul as hard as they can from side to side keeping them from getting close enough to attack. Not good to take lines word for word from another entry. When facing one enemy the wielder will strike at their foe until they make a mistake, then punish them for their failure by smashing their skull, or impaling them with the shaft of the Maul.

Origin/ History: No one knows for sure how the makings of the Brutalizer came to be, but it believed that it was made by a great Losh-Oc Orc that got his hands upon a pillaged Great Maul. Is there any way that you could create a small legend to go with this?  An orcen hero in such and such battle defeated so and so and took the weapon from him?  A quick read of the Great Maul entry will give an example of this.


Keep up the effort, Miren.  Details are your friend.  The more you can add to make this special, the better the entry will read. :D  I will aurie you for dipping your toe in the Dev waters.  thumbup
« Last Edit: 04 April 2014, 00:59:49 by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: 07 April 2014, 00:08:43 »

Merin, I always love to see a new weapon developed.   Altario gave you a good set of comments to start with.  Once you address his comments lets see where the entry is and go from there.  Looking forward to what you come up with to really flesh out this entry.
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