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Author Topic: The Cylian Poppy  (Read 5001 times)
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Ankhi Doomhand
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« on: 31 January 2015, 15:19:38 »

Category- Medicinal herbs -->Poisonous Herbs. The herb is already in the overview, but it doesn't have an entry yet.

Overview-
              The Cylian Poppy is a flowering plant with blindingly bright white petals surrounding an iridescent gold coloured center. The foliage is jagged, spiky and sharp enough to latch onto leather without trouble. It is mainly used for its thick, milky sap, which is a highly addictive narcotic, and a rather strong one at that, but can also be used in deadly brews with the right levels of skill, which is colloquially known as "Murdrum" in certain cities.

Description-
              The Cylian Poppy is usually approximately two fores high at its maximum height in the summer when it flourishes, but it can retract to as small as one palmspan during the colder seasons. The stem is rather thin (around one nailsbreadth), allowing the plant to swing around as it needs to to latch onto its prey, which it latches onto with its leaves and leeches off of for food while simultaneously releasing a powerful shatír'ó'chón'cár (lit: winged spirit) into the subject's body, not only numbing them to the pain, but also causing them to fall asleep while still in the plant's grasp.
              It should be noted that this effect seems to be amplified based on the level of sentience of the subject. Creatures with extremely high levels of sentience, such as elves and men, have even been known to become unknowingly addicted to the shatír'ó'chón'cár and felt compelled to wander the area where they had been caught in the plant's trap until they got caught in another one. This, after a few months, usually results in the death of the victim, unless they first realize that what compels them to keep visiting the area is, indeed, their addiction to the flowers drug, which is a near impossibility when they as they become mindless slaves to the plants by coming within five peds of it due to what is assumed to be some sort of aura emitted from it, making it mighty hard to escape the call of the Poppy.
              The leaves of the plant seem to have pulsating veins all over them and can vary in length from three nailsbreadths to a full palmspan. The radius of the flower, however, is always around one third larger than that, so as to hide the leaves from any people, whatever race they may be, and to lure them into its trap. The Cylian Poppy flourishes in warmer climates, but can retract its stem to avoid over exposing itself to the cold should conditions temporarily cool. That said, the poppy should never be  exposed to conditions too far below the freezing point of water for more than two moons, or it will shrivel up to a nailsbreadth and not come back up until conditions of room temperature or better are reached or it dies for lack of food.

Territory-
              The Cylian Poppy is found only within one league's radius of the Thaelon forest, particularly around Ephirn's Lake, where it is believed to have originated. It is unknown exactly how far the plant grows from the lake in each direction due to the likelihood of a researcher accidentally getting addicted during their research. They are able to escape the plant's grasp because of their knowledge of its effects, but they must separate themselves from their research permanently in order to avoid any residue shatír'ó'chón'cár affecting them.

Usages-
              The most common usage of the Cylian Poppy is as a narcotic, which is administered either using the leaf in its basic form or through the extracted sap, which is often modified with a pinch of forget-me-nut powder to remove the urge to go on a quest to Ephirn's Lake, a side effect of the drug which made early dealers of the drug lose customers rather quickly. However, every once in a while, dealers of the drug will "forget" to add the forget-me-nut powder to the drug, and the user is sacrificed to the plants to keep them alive after constantly being drained of their sap. The drug can also be refined to the point of causing the brain of the user to shut down completely, creating an instant and untraceable death.
              The entire plant is believed to have connection to the Netherworld, though again, this is just unverified superstition, as are most things concerning the Netherworld. The sap is believed to be usable in a brew with some vaninen concoction, a touch of veell elixir, and a few ods of wizardleaf for a frightening potion that, upon lighting, is said to summon a mystran hoard large enough to take out a small town in minutes and haunt it for years on end. This may be mere myth however, because no known person has ever lit one of these and lived to tell of it, which, given the power of a mystran, should not be incredibly surprising.(Moved to Myth/Lore section)

Reproduction-
              The reproduction of the Cylian Poppy is just as confusing as any other part of it; it sends spores into the body of a victim who's died while still attached to the leaf of the plant they were killed by. If a victim of the Poppy dies from the  from the plant, the plant senses the lack of pulse and releases chemicalspulses of aura to speed up the decomposition of the body, before releasing tiny spores into the body, which, once inside, reassemble into a seed like structure, which eventually grows into a new flower.
              Due to this form of reproduction requiring new generations to grow no more than a few fores away from the previous, the plants often grow in thick clumps that dot the Thaelon forest. The plant can spread further, however, if it mistakes an incredibly deep sleep for death and sends spores into the host while it is still alive, who, with any luck, will move around the forest, spreading the plant's seed. It should be noted, however, that the plant can't live too far outside the Thaelon forest. Travelers have been found dead on the roads a few leagues from the forest with traces of Cylian Poppy spores in their body. In these cases, the spores appear to be shriveled up, leading many to draw a line directly outside of the forest and declare it the extent of the plant's growth.

Myth/Lore-
              Although it is unknown exactly how the Cylian Poppy originated, an interesting tale concerning the subject is held by some of the people in Carmalad. They believe that the plant is born of the spirit of Ephirn that was created when the light elves refused to perform their Rite of Return on him, but instead sunk him in what is now known as Ephirn's Lake. They believe that his spirit, still searching for the human woman he sought after his life ended, continues to search for her, only to be continuously foiled by the boundaries of the Thaelon forest. Other stories state that the reasons for the existence of Ephirn's spirit aren't quite so romantic. They say that either his spirit is angry for his death or the spirit is composed of all the hatred of humanity he'd pent up over years of assisting humans, who he considered less than him. The last one, however, is usually held by those with a hatred towards elves in general, and is the least common of these fables.
              The entire plant is believed to have connection to the Netherworld, though again, this is just unverified superstition, as are most things concerning the Netherworld. The sap is believed to be usable in a brew with some vaninen concoction, a touch of veell elixir, and a few ods of wizardleaf for a frightening potion that, upon lighting, is said to summon a mystran hoard large enough to take out a small town in minutes and haunt it for years on end. This may be mere myth however, because no known person has ever lit one of these andbeen fool enough to light one of these, and if they have, they haven't lived to tell of it, which, given the power of a mystran, should not be incredibly surprising.
« Last Edit: 07 February 2015, 17:43:10 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged
Mina
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« Reply #1 on: 01 February 2015, 01:09:39 »

The large blocks of text are a little hard to read.  You should probably split them up into paragraphs. 
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Ankhi Doomhand
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« Reply #2 on: 01 February 2015, 01:23:23 »

Ok, hopefully that's spaced a little better now.   :)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #3 on: 02 February 2015, 17:06:03 »

Okeydokey, so let's see what we have here:

- First of all: Good to see an entry that is already referenced somewhere finally get its own entry. :)

- A note on spelling: Traditionally we use British spelling throughout the site in entries, because it looks more medieval. In general this means to write "colour" instead of "color" etc. (see e.g in the first sentence)

- Also tiny note on how to write things: As entries are scholarly written texts we'd say "It is" rather than "It's". Just an observation.

- Another thing is that the subject of the entry is always written with a capital letter, so you'd write "Cylian Poppy", however, other things that are referenced in the entry are written in lower case, unless it's a proper name, so you'd write ("wizardleaf", "mystran" etc.)

- "Final Ale"... Hmmm... How about playing a bit with a word that stands for "deadly"? Like "Fatal" --> "Fatale"? ;)

- "Neurotoxin" sounds more like 20th/21st century terminology than something a Santharian scholar would say. Also a term like "cognitive" or "hormones". Always try to describe things in more medieval terms, even if it means to "sacrifice" scientific accuracy for, say, conjectures, speculations, superstition, that sort of thing. Similarly I would say that exact measuring of periks would also be problematic, so I would try to keep things more vague in the description.

I see that you integrated some nice lore already in the Usages and later in the Reproduction and Origins section (which maybe should better be renamed to "Myth/Lore", fits better and is more often used in such entries). These are nice ideas and this is primarily how the "magic" of an entry works: to make it part of the overall fantasy theme permeating this world. Therefore: let these ideas more dominate the entry - or rather - reduce the scientific explanations in the Description section, merely hint at something supernatural going on that you follow throw in Myth/Lore and write about it in more medieval terms in the Description.

That's it from my side, Doomy :) A nice entry for a start, which still needs a few adjustments, but you'll get there. An aura +1 well deserved! - BTW: Don't forget to mark changes in another colour, so that we can see where you did updates!  thumbup
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Ankhi Doomhand
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« Reply #4 on: 03 February 2015, 06:52:26 »

Thanks for all the commentary, I'll try to work in all this somehow. Sad I have to get rid of my technobabble though. cry You will be missed. RIP technobabble. Right, not too gloomy Doomy. You can do this. :P Seriously though, thanks. Now, to work!!!!!! evil evil :D

Also, I can't help but notice that you seem to have a love-hate relationship with the apostrophe. On one side, we have elvish, with an apostrophe every two letters, then on the other, we here have you telling me to change "It's" to "it is". I'm fine with it, just saying. :P
« Last Edit: 03 February 2015, 11:40:02 by Ankhi Doomhand » Logged
Ankhi Doomhand
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« Reply #5 on: 03 February 2015, 10:45:15 »

Ok, modifications complete.
1. Removed (most) technobabble
2. Added magibabble
3. Fixed some trivial things (spellings, apostrophes, etc)
4. Changed Origins section to Myth/Lore, moved the mystran thing there
5. Invented an eleven word for neurotoxin
6. Modified various smaller things (wordings, etc)

Should I add some kind of backstory to the whole mystran thing? It feels incomplete, but then again, authorial bias, not to mention my tendency to babble a little in any writing, as you saw in the Description section.
« Last Edit: 03 February 2015, 11:46:38 by Ankhi Doomhand » Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #6 on: 05 February 2015, 17:37:30 »

Nice changes there, Doomy :) "Murderum" looks good, maybe the shorter "Murdrum" would be a tad better on the tongue, but either way it's fine. The "winged spirit" and the Styrásh term for it also is much better now, this fits nicely in a fantasy setting. And together with all the other settings: all in all nice work.  cool

Apostrophes: love-hate relationship? Well, I love them where they fit and hate them where they don't... :P
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Ankhi Doomhand
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« Reply #7 on: 06 February 2015, 07:08:15 »

About the entry: thanks a lot!  grin Besides, that's the nicest anyone's ever been to me *sniff*  ;)

About the apostrophes: Nonsense Arti. This is the internet, where no nuance can exist on penalty of death!!!!! evil
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