Santharian Development

Santharian World Development => Places and Map Design => Topic started by: Valan Nonesuch on 15 December 2009, 11:08:16



Title: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 15 December 2009, 11:08:16
•  Overview
Far to the north of Sarvonia, the ruins of Cort'Mangar, once a great city populated with dark elves and orcs, sits in the north of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth. South of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar, on the western coast of the Sea of Tears, Cor'tam'Angarek as it was called, the City of the Dark Claw in orcen, was believed to have been home to the ancient Ae'es'th'er'oc tribe and dark elven spellcasters. Built to stand against the savage Dinali, Cor'tam'Angarek stood strong for over two and a half millennia. The city was shattered by the birth of Shadespelll gorge, some few stralls from the city, the vile taint of the Netherworld seeping out into the city and the land around it, killing everything. Since its destruction, Cort'Mangar has become a place of nightmares; a desolate shell, surrounded by wasteland, inhabited by terrifying abominations that some say emanate from the Netherworld, the city's former residents made into the very Shades that haunt its fog-shrouded streets. Some claim it cursed, but regardless, the shadowy inhabitants of Cort'Mangar are not to be trifled with.


•  Description
Few people have ever visited dead Cort'Mangar, seen its ruin and its desolation, and survived. The first records of a fortified city, populated with nightmares, came from the journal of Marvan Swiftrook, an Erpheronian explorer to Caael'heroth. Swiftrook and his companions found Cort'Mangar, but their fates are uncertain as Swiftrook's journal was discovered by Kaa'er'darshin Mist Hunters in the possession of a Ghun'Moirta'Oc in the Mists of Osthemangar some two centuries later.
Syras Kelweather, an Injerin Explorer, recovered Swiftrook's journal from the custody of the Mist Hunters at some point around 1400 a.S. Drawn by the mad ravings and descriptions in the journals, Kelweather discovered a second entrance to Cort'Mangar, a great vaulted bridge across one of the chasms around the city, and added further to the notes of Swiftrook.

"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful…" Marvan Swiftrook wrote of the shattered, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the riven and ruined walls of the city, which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and its unearthly inhabitants.

Much of Cort'Mangar's remaining construction seems slapdash. Block shaped orcen buildings standing alongside great elven towers of night, broad streets broken up by arcane circles of stone megaliths engraved with some sort of symbols. Researchers cannot approach the city close enough to investigate these further, for fear of life and limb.

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction, stand easily 160 peds tall in their broken state, as has been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great, black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds.

The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcen built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater the surface of the ruins heavily, or litter the mist covered streets.

Very little of the city itself can be distinguished where it is shrouded within the mists. Those structures which are not towers are laid out in an ordered grid, long since broken and mutilated by the destruction of the city. The orcen ruins are blocky, with harsh corners and heavy battlements around what must have been doors or windows. Though few remain, orcen wall defenses seem to have tapered to a spike-ringed tower with an open top.

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around the ruins is in a state of permanent changelessness. The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends from the city for about ten strals in all directions. It does not rain or snow within these ten strals usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh impossible for any one man. The second reason for this pervasive darkness is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld.
Kelweather wrote "This desolation is not natural, like the plains of ice to the east. It is a dead place. It is the taint of evil that has seeped into the land here. As though some grim malice has taken hold of it and made this its own. Its den."
 It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of its "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place. Few dare approach the ruins and this remains mere conjecture.

The ruins can only be approached by two means. The south, where Marvan Swiftrook undoubtedly made his ill-fated expedition, and the west. Initially, only the southern route was known yet, upon later exploration, the Injerín explorer Saryas Kelweather discovered a great bridge that crossed the body of the Shadespell Gorge and ended near the city. This is the only known crossing of the Gorge and remains structurally sound despite its age, suggesting the use of magic in the construction.

•  Location
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caaehl'heroth in the north-easternmost section of Northern Sarvonia. The nearest visible landmark, Mount Osthen, is estimated to be some hundred strals from the ruins. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking its otherworldly aura into the region.

•  People
In the long ago days before Thar, the king; the fortress of Cor’tam Angarek, ("City of the Dark Claw" in an ancient, long since dead orcen dialect) was an orcen fortress, built to keep some enemy , from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek and girded it for war. This enemy, believed, from recovered artefacts in the Shaddhar mountains, to be an offshoot of the Dinali, feared soldiers of the Chosen Eckra the Cruel

Eckra the Cruel, one of several chosen dwelling in the North of Sarvonia ruled from the Keep of Tak'dinal. His soldiers were the fearsome Dinali, by all accounts a barbaric and violent people who some scholars infer to have been of Ice Tribes stock at some point, twisted by cruelty, malice and magic into engines of killing. Eckra was among the most feared of the northern Chosen and his keep remains a Forbidden Zone, on the peninsula of Kru'ul. He is thought to have perrished in the Battle of the Winds along with the other Chosen in that region and their armies when the Eight Winds Bay was created.

Fragmented records from Injerin libraries suggest that during the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves were believed to have enslaved the orcs inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war, making Meph'guor and other monstrosities to do battle.

After the destruction of Cort’Mangar1, the exact cause of which remains unknown, the only inhabitants of the ruins are the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” (lit. Faces of Night; Kh'om'chr'om) to orcs. Terrible spectres who flit silently among the decaying city. "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!"

"They are not alive, but neither do they seem to be dead. They are as the leaves on a dying tree, their colours faded to nothing, clinging to the branches before the storm wind blows them away. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands of these creatures. They seem faded, the impression of life left long after life has deserted this place, like a footprint in the mud. I can feel... wrongness about this place, about these walking shadows. They and it are paradox."
Kelweather called these creatures "Náfreánh" (lit. Faded; styrash) and refused to speak of them further in his notes

The nature of the creatures remains unknown. Two of Swiftrook's expedition were killed by the Shades, Swiftrook himself seems to have barely survived.

"Their eyes! They see me! Like dull emerald orbs, their eyes perceive me. I am frozen in place. One pair grips my soul. Another looks as well. And another. More and more can see me hiding! I rise in my spot. I hear cries of pain as my companions react. Suddenly…they are around me. A Shade suddenly appears next to me. I watch in horror…its long, graceful fingers reach out to touch my companion. The old man Riggs twitches violently! The shade’s touch bore into the man’s forehead…he falls to his knees…

[...]

Poor Riggs and Foeman…I run and can only watch as their bodies shake and scream for mercy. The shades converge on them…their flesh melts away to reveal the same inky blackness underneath. The shades devour them. They become one.

[...]

My shoulder is cold. I was hurt. Like a dagger of ice under my skin. I was touched. The shades tasted me. Gods.

Why does the world look so grey…?
"

The Shades appear to be cunning, at least in some sort of mindless predatory fashion like that inkling of intelligence which exists in wolves and in other such beasts. Whether or not they feed or simply add to their numbers with this deadly touch is unknown.

"We can divine very little based on Swiftrook's observations. He was obviously in a state of panic when he wrote what he did. He may very well have been dying, or going mad. What we can conclude from Swiftrook's journals and later notes by Syras Kelweather is that the creatures inhabiting these ruins are not natural. Neither are they the result of magical tampering, such as with Meph'gu'our or their ilk, but something else entirely.

Most closely, they resemble the stories of the Shadow Elves, the Moh'rhim of Fa'val'car.
However, taking into consideration the history of the area, these may very well be the spirits of those inhabitants of the city, the ancient Ae'es'th'er'oc, the dark elves who conquered the city and any foolish or unlucky enough to run afoul of it since.

The influence of the Netherworld is unusually strong in this region, we have several places where it seems to bleed into Ca'el'hereth like ink seeping through paper, Chaos Rifts. The Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar, the Mists surrounding it, the Shadespell Gorge and Cort'Mangar.

Whatever these creatures are, they are not living, rather they seem to be caught between Cael'hereth and the Netherworld, much like a fly trapped between window panes."

-Vekarn Kha’mal, Discussions on the North

Kha'mal, a Volkek-Oshra demonologist, has published several treatises on the precise nature of the various phenomenon around Caael'heroth. His earlier work, "Ineffable Madness" garnered support among scholars to the theory that the nature of Cort'Mangar lies with the Netherworld.

The Osther-Oc believe them to be the spirits of the orcish warriors that inhabited the city, punished for angering the land and cursed to keep all creatures from it for eternity, and share this belief with the Kaaer'dar'shin Half Orcs.

•  Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of western Caaehl'heroth, the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow, making the soundless air seem strangely dead.

This becalmed aura extends for six or seven strals in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke.

The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar, nor its coast, and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or blinks stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending. The air smells of cold and faintly of decay, despite any flesh in the city having rotted away aeons ago.

•  Mythology
Fragment of Dinali text, recovered near the orcen ruin of Ogh ca. 730 b.S.
"And we fled to the sea, we crossed it and came to land, and were driven back into the sea by monsters."

Osther-Oc Oral History (transcribed and translated from Kh'omchr'om by Tharoc Wargrider)

In the days of our grandsires' grandsires, vermin came to the land. The clans fought them, but they could not kill all the vermin, weak as they were, for they were too many.
To keep the vermin from their lands, the clans built a fortress. They built its walls high and strong. They called it "of the Dark Claw", and there they made camp.
The clans killed the vermin, drove them back across the mountains and thought them crushed and dead and returned to their camps, never more to cross the mountains.
But the vermin returned, and brought more with them.
And music of battle sounded on the plains and the spirits rose up, angered by the blood of the vermin.
The angered spirits tore open the land, and made it barren and drove orc and vermin both from it.
And in their anger, the spirits cursed the fortress. They tore down its walls and broke its camps and killed its peoples.
They cursed its people to keep all from it, and to walk the land for as long as stone is hard and water is wet.
And the cursed warriors died and rose up, clothed in the night.
Their faces were the night, and they rose and kept the land from vermin and from orc.



•  History

Author's Note: Information derived from old Injerin records, orcen oral histories and from scrolls recovered by Saryas Kelweather.


11700 b.S. - Dark elves and Orcs Migrate North
Dark elves and orcs migrate north together to Caaehl'heroth to conquer unknown lands. The dark elves prove superior and no longer share power with the orcs and begin enslaving them to be used as laborers and mercenaries. The orcs call themselves the Ae'es'th'er'oc clan and become subjugated under dark elven rule for the next several centuries.
      
ca. 11500 b.S. - The Deep Winds Portal is Built
Accounts are few and much of the origins of the tower is steeped in myth, but it is generally believed by some scholars that the tower of Osthemangar was built sometime after Fá'áv'cál'âr was destroyed and the elves moved north. The exact nature of the construction is not known, but some believe that dark dwarves had a hand in it. Most likely, the portal was built as a means for the dark god Coór to enter the world of Caelereth, bringing forth his dark armies with him. The Mists is believed to have come about at this time also. Once the portal was opened, the Netherworld atmosphere seeped into the world corrupting it.

ca. 11000 b.S. - Invasion of the Dinali
The Dinali migrate and settle the Peninsula of Kru'ul and begin incursions into the Peninsula of Aden across the Ice Sea. They come into contact with the dark elves and Ae'es'th'er'oc. A war begins over territory as the human Dinali attempt to move east across the Aden Peninsula.

ca. 10150 b.S. - Cort'Mangar is Built
The fortress city of Cort'Mangar (originally orcen "Cortem'Angarek" is built as a defense against the Dinali barbarians. The city is built using strong stone works mined from a nearby chasm. The dark elves use ancient magic to help build the city and construct high towers within.

ca. 9500 - 9000 b.S. - The War of the Chosen
The War of the Chosen devastates much of Caelereth, including Caaehl'heroth. One of the largest battles thought to have been fought during this war was centered around Cort'Mangar.

ca. 9600 b.S. to 9500 b.S.    The Rise of Eckra the Cruel
A powerful Archmage known as Eckra the Cruel builds Tak'Dinal Keep in the region which should later be known as the Forbidden Zone. Eckra slowly expands his domain until he is the sole master of the peninsula he is in. Eckra builds more armies to crush the orcen and dark elven warriors in Caaehl'heroth. The Dinali are reinforced with fresh troops while the orcs and dark elves retreat into Cort'Mangar for one last stand.

ca. 9450 b.S. - Humans and Icelanders Join the War in the East
The humans in the Stone Fields of Peat and the Icelands are forced to enter the War of the Chosen as mercenaries for the sorcerers. They are used in battles and magic experiments as expendable material and they prove to be hardy yet undisciplined warriors.

ca. 9023 b.S. - The Battle of the Winds
A great battle between the four most powerful archmages in Northern Sarvonia takes place at this time. It ends with the unleashing of incredible forces that rip the land apart and create what is now know as the Eight Winds Bay. It is also said that the archmages and their armies are destroyed when the sea rushes in to fill the gaping wound they made in the earth.

ca. 9023 b.S. to 9000 b.S. - Years of Cleansing
With the death of the archmages at the Battle of Winds, this makes it much easier for the combined races to throw off their shackles of servitude and cleanse the land of the remaining acolytes of human magic, and the last armies of the archmages. These years are marked by the use of elven Xeuá magic, to heal the wounds the archmages created.

ca. 7500 b.S. - The Shadespell Gorge Is Born
Eventually, long after the Portal is built and after the War of the Chosen, the Netherworld instability finally reaches its climax and a one huge earthquake rocks the region. The Netherworld energies burst forth from the crack and suck in all living life nearby, including Cort'Mangar. The orcs and dark elves likely are caught by surprise and are turned into hideous living shadows in a matter of a few blinks. The city falls apart, towers crumble and thousands of inhabitants are lost.

ca. 4700 b.S. The Year of Ghosts
Injerin records and orcish oral history report strange, unnatural weather out of the north-west from across the Sea of Tears. Storms the carry the sounds of battle, unnatural wailing and screaming in the wind and a persistent smell of death in the air occur almost monthly for a year before suddenly disappearing.

ca. 1000 a.S. Erpheronian Explorer Marvan Swiftrook Discovers Cort’Mangar
Shortly before his disappearance in the Mists, Marvan Swiftrook discovers the Shadespell Gorge and the city of Cort’Mangar. His discovery and narrow escape from the Shades slowly drives him mad. His journal tells of a mysterious people that live in the city now completely overrun with shadow and Netherworld presence.

ca. 1200-1300 a.S. Swiftrook's Journal recovered by Kaer'dar'shin Mist Hunters
A group of Mist Hunters recovers Marvan Swiftrook's journal from a G'hun'Morta-Oc in the Mists. This journal would later find its way into the hands of Syras Kelweather and from there into the possession of the Santharian Dream.

ca. 1400 a.S. Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar
Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar by way of a bridge over the end of the Shadespell Gorge and observes the creatures Swiftrook called "Shades".

[1] The compendiumist has attempted to maintain scholarly neutrality by avoiding subscription to any of the dozen theories as to the cause of the opening of the Shadespell Gorge.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 05 February 2010, 13:59:30
It is finished!
*cringes and then falls over*


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels on 05 February 2010, 14:24:55
*lends Valan a hand to get to his feet again, gives him some cookies and a glass of Tali  wine*


I couldn‘t sleep, and as I have won half an hour for me, I looked out for something enjoyable to do before the day begins and I found your submission on the top. Not that this town is very enjoyable, but your way of writing it, was. I‘ve got some proposals , and Azhira surely has a lot more to say, but I think it is nicely written and not much needed to add, though of course here and there some additions are possible. (I mean, plainly spoken, it is long enough!!)


•  Overview
Far to the north, the ruined city of Cort’Mangar looms in the north of the peninsula of Cael’heroth. The city, believed to have been fortress-like in it’s days as a settlement now sits cracked and decaying like a putrid egg near the infamous Shadespell Gorge.

Is it a ,city‘? Or a town? I see a huge town, when I say city, do you want to hint at that? Was it so huge? Maybe try to give a number below, even if that is difficult. Where there living 100, 1000, 10 000 or 100 000 people? Maybe that is impossible to say, but then you could estimate the squarepeds of the ruins, or say, how long it takes to surround them, or x peds to y peds..

I like the comparison with the putrid egg, that was a word which has escaped me so far!

•  Description
"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful…" Mavram Swiftrook wrote of the broken, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the cracked and broken walls of the city, which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and it's unearthly inhabitants.

Maybe here how widespread they are

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction, stand well 160 peds tall in some cases as have been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds. The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcish built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater the surface of the ruins heavily, or litter the mist covered streets.


'like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds. 'I love such an imagery! ,mist covered streets‘


"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins of Cort'Mangar. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around Cort'Mangar is in a state of permanent changlessness. The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends for ten strals from the city. It does not rain or snow within these ten stralls usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh impossible for any one man. The second is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld. It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of it's "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place.

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area", permanent changlessness Great!

What about smell? It is cold, so you won‘t smell much, but there could be something strange, maybe a hint of something burnt, the bitter smell of smoke?

•  Location
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caael’heroth the north-eastern most section of Northern Sarvonia. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking it's otherworldly aura into the region.

•  People
In the long ago days before Thar; the city of Cor’tam Angarek, City of the Dark Claw in an ancient, long since dead orcish, was an orcen fortress, built to keep Erpheronians from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek During the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves joined the orcs in inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war. After the destruction of Cort’Mangar, the only inhabitants of the ruins are the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” or “Faces of Night" to orcs who flit silently among the decaying city. "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!"

Why have you suddenly another name? .. long since dead orcish ??
Maybe you could add another sentence or two describing those inhabitants of today? And which orcs are visiting the town?

•  Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of Caael’heroth, the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow making the air seem strangely dead. This becalmed aura extends for six or seven stralls in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke. The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar, nor it’s coast and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or seconds stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending.

Resources? There are none, but maybe there were? Do people come here to try to find lost valuable things? Precious metals, artifacts, magic items lost in time? Any adventures? Who researches this town, who wrote the report you are here presenting? Mavram Swiftrook?


Rest  later! Family is awake!


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels on 05 February 2010, 15:05:08
•  Mythology
Old Aerpheriane text:   (Who are the Aerpherians? Add that in a half sentence, not everyone is familiar with the North)

In the days of long ago Erpheronia, men and orcs did war upon each other on the great plains of Caael'heroth. The Proudmen did seek to expand their dominion further into the north and drove the orcs before them.

The orcs built a great, black city of war upon the coast and they named it Cor'tam'angarek: The City of the Dark Claw. Dark Elves, wielders of forbidden and black arts and magic, joined in the war alongside the orcish hordes. They too came to Cor'tam'angarek and raised tall, black towers in which to cloister themselves.

Enemy after enemy they (who?) burned, swords black with blood, pyres and crows blackening the skies above the sites of the battles they waged across the land. And the Proudmen they drove back to the mountains, but they could do no more.

Here, they (who?)  did work their magic, summoning forth the strange and terrible powers which lurked elsewhere. Blood they did call for, and battle and they built great circles from which to call their newfound weapons. Demons they summoned. Beasts they created, terrible and vile creatures the like of which may be found no more. For in their search for greater and greater power, the elves dove to deeply and far too greedily also.

The Proudmen pushed their forces towards Cor'tam'angarek, intended to besiege it's black walls and high towers, but they never reached their goal. The orcs, elves and their monstrosities marched forth in a dark flood from their fortress and met the Proudmen on the plain to the west of Cor'tam'angarek.

They brought forth too much power in their last battle and in doing so they rent the very earth upon which they stood. They wounded the land and evil poured forth from it. The evil drove them mad, driving the very flesh from their bones and tainting the spirits of those caught up within the cataclysm with blackness.

And so their weapons fell back on themselves?

They drove back to Cor'tam'angarek, blight and madness and evil following in the wake of their grim crusade. They descended upon the fortress and tore down it's high walls with malice. Its towers they broke with their hatred. The streets were rent in twain by madness. It's peoples were slain and rose again to join battle against their fellows. And the flames of the city expired, and the sounds of life ended with the last of the violence. Cor'tam'angarek was no more, neither man, nor beast of the field tread the ground. Birds of the air forsook it's dark skies. Madness and Decay and Death held illimitable dominion over all.


I like the tone, the feeling you create very much, the way you are telling this with those partly short sentences. Can‘t excatly nail down, what it is that I like. But you need to say a bit more clearer, who did what, give them some names, describe who did what.


•  History

ca. 9800 b.S. The City of Cort'Mangar is Built
Scholars estimate that the ancient dark elven city of Cort’Mangar is built to function as a fortress city against incursions from the Aden peninsula. It is said that the city had spires far grander and taller than any known in the present day.

Ahh  well, that contradicts a bit with those 160peds you metion above. Or are these 160 peds only the remaining rest? The Ximax academy has far higher towers.

ca. 5000 b.S. Cort'Mangar is destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar
The Battle of Osthemangar rages for many days over most of the northern reaches of Caaehl'heroth. Cort'Mangar's defenders fall to a siege that lasts over several weeks. As the dead lay in the thousands among the fresh ruins, the influence of the Netherworld presence along the chasm somehow infects the bodies. Over time, Cort'Mangar becomes a city of shadow.


That is a bit unclear: The Erpheronians did not succeed with their siege, I thought, so who brought the city to fall then?

ca. 1000 b.S. Erpheronian Explorer Marvan Swiftrook Discovers Cort’Mangar
Shortly before his disappearance in the Mists, Marvan Swiftrook discovers the Shadespell Gorge and the city of Cort’Mangar. His discovery and narrow escape from the Shades slowly drives him mad. His journal tells of a mysterious people that live in the city now completely overrun with shadow and Netherworld presence.

Please explain from where the name Cort‘Mangar comes, should in the history not be mentioned the name you have above?


Great work, Valan! I like it, a neat masterwork! :thumbup:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin on 05 February 2010, 15:43:30
Just a quick observance.  Caaehl'heroth is spelled wrong in your Overview.

EDIT:  Actually, it is spelled wrong everywhere but the History section.

Interesting read, however.  Looks good. :)


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 05 February 2010, 20:25:15
:clap:

Valan,

I like Talia's suggestions, so please see about working with her comments. PM me if you need help, especially the History section where the background of the city may need some clarification.

Also, I would take other sources of information about Cort'Mangar from someone else in addition to Marvan Swiftrook. Marvan visited the city only briefly, as detailed in my Shadespell Gorge entry. Perhaps account for orcen legends, or myths from the Injerin elves. The Injerin are long time record keepers and would have some information. Of course, nothing concrete! The city is far too old and twisted now and gone in myth. It is always good to have different sources when describing ancient places, especially when they sometimes contradict and add holes here and there. For example, some orcen clans might view the city as a place of reverence while the elves view it as a place of evil. Dark elven myths would be a fantastic source of information if they can be found. It is highly unlikely you meet a Shadow elf though...but get creative!


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: The Silent Watcher on 05 February 2010, 21:35:42
I agree with evrything said so far. Good work, Valan.

In the dim and distant past when I was given my Masterwork approval, I decided to create a place further south, about half way up Caaehl'heroth, which would be another large settlement built around the Gates of Hell'wrung.
It was built by an ancient human/Dwarf allied army to hold back the encroaching orcen hordes.
Long story short, they failed miserably and the Gates have been in orcen hands ever since, apart from short periods when one army or another managed to wrestle them away.

I never actually got round to starting the project properly, but if you want any more info, just PM me and I'll see what I can do.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 05 February 2010, 23:27:31
Talia: Aerpheriane is the Erpheronian dialect of Tharian (it's listed under their tribal language heading, sorry I'll clear that one up right away. I didn't mean to get into anything resembling a Nybelmarian length but it seemed far too short before. I'm not sure what exactly Cort'Mangar was, I get the impression it was a fortified settlement of some sort

Alt: It's that H. I kept forgetting it it seems. All fixed now.

Watcher: I'll take you up on that offer if/when I get rid of some of the other shame inducing entries on my to do list.

Azhira: I knew I'd forgotten something. I seem to remember an Injerin explorer mentioned in the gorge entry. I'll have to look that up. I thought it would have been drow dark elves, not shadow elves though?


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Seeker on 06 February 2010, 00:30:04
Valan

We really need more places like this around, I am going to love this city once you are done with it.  Looks great so far!


Make sure you read well the Shadespell Gorge entry their appears to be details in that entry that are missing here.

An example :

Quote
The ruins known as Cort’mangar sit along the south edge of the gorge. This ancient city is thought to have been a once fortified city during the War of the Chosen. It is also thought to have been used during the massive Battle of Osthemangar in 5000 b.S. It is here nearest the ruined city that an impressive stone bridge spans the width of the chasm. The bridge seems to smoothly erupt from the ground like clay, creating a curve above the shadowy tendrils. Most scholars agree that the bridge was likely created using powerful earth magic to shape the stone. As it would have taken many days walk to circumvent the rift to reach the other side, the bridge provided a quicker path, if a dangerous one. Cort'Mangar today, according to the few accounts available from various explorers to the region, is a place of eternal night. It sits forever haunted and cursed, inhabited by strange creatures of the shadow.

We will want to see that this entry provides maybe even more insight into the things mentioned in the Shadespell entry, otherwise there is no need for another entry.  

 As an artist I thrive on the detail provided in order to visualize a picture.  (as you can guess)  So whatever you are picturing in your mind try to get it into words in the description.  What are the streets like, what are the buildng made from, are all the building black or are they gray.  Is there anything like mossess, fungus growing even.   Are there any sounds (well I can't draw that)?   Are there any other building besides the towers that  you would want someone to visualize.   Is there a wall around the city?   Does the fog leave the ground and building wet, does that turn to ice?  Or is everything dry?  

These are just some thoughts, not everything needs to be answered.  I apologize if any of this was already mentioned, I did not read through everyone's comments carefully.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels on 06 February 2010, 00:37:36
Hi Valan, with half a day gone and some food in my stomach, some things get clearer ;)

Quote
Talia: Aerpheriane is the Erpheronian dialect of Tharian

Oh well, I'm sure, other people don't know this either, so tell it!  :)

I have now read this sentence again and know, what I missed this morning:

Quote
In the long ago days before Thar; the city of Cor’tam Angarek, City of the Dark Claw in an ancient, long since dead orcish language, was an orcen fortress, built to keep Erpheronians from encroaching further into Caael’heroth

You have three names: 

- Cort'Mangar
- Cor’tam Angarek
- Cor'tam'angarek

The last two should be the same, or is there a difference between orcish and elfish names? Cort'Mangar is obviously a short form Cor’tam Angarek, but you need to tell us that! The sentence above might still be misleading, I would make it plainer, that City of the Dark Claw is a translation of Cor’tam Angarek.

Maybe the orcish linguist could make up something, so that Cor means settlement e.g. tam 'of ' or 'clan' and Angarek Dark Claw?

Proposal , example
In the long ago days before Thar,  the (long deceased? mighty ) orcish clan of the Dark Claw built a fortress they called Cor’tam Angarek or 'the stronghold of the Dark Claw' (or whatever you want to name it, could be something entirely different, refering to their gods, whatever!) ,  to keep Erpheronians from encroaching further into Caael’heroth
 





Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 February 2010, 01:54:34
Talia: Naming the city after a clan of orcs: It doesn't sound quite right, and seems to take away from the mystique of the region by being too concrete.
On the subject of names, the Battle of Osthemangar (which destroyed Cor'tam'Angarek and tore open the Shadespell Gorge) occured circa 5000 b.S. So roughly 6000 years ago. Since there would be no way to recover documents from the ruins themselves names would be hard to find or verify. Orcen history seems to me to be more of an oral history than a written one in any case. Oral histories have an excellent track record in some cases but they can decay just as easily as written ones. So I'll leave the old names out if you don't mind.

Seeker: I've got to say I'm envious of your ability to draw but I've tried to integrate your comments as best as I can.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 06 February 2010, 02:23:49
Valan and others...

What I wrote in the Shadespell Gorge entry is intentionally vague and open to interpretation. The Shadespell entry is to be used as a guide rather than concrete fact. Try to be consistent with the Shadespell entry, but Valan is free to interpret and create new ideas about Cort'mangar as he pleases. Other than what is in Shadespell, I have no other ideas for its direction as I never intended to develop the city myself.

I use alot of orcen oral history and tradition to help explain the region. One could also find ruins in nearby places with the old orcen language on it explaining stuff. There is evidence of the extinct tribe all over Caaehl'heroth, which is an idea I am developing and have mentioned in my Kalta'Goor entry. So feel free to go that route too.

Also Valan, I have no ideas about the Battle of Osthemangar, or what it involved. The battle is mentioned here and there, but there are no facts about it. So go ahead and develop that idea if you wish to maybe help explain how the city came to ruin. We can discuss ideas anytime.  :thumbup:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 February 2010, 02:36:33
Well if there's no one to tell different, you can say that the Erpheronians laid siege to the city, took evil to task, kicked their asses and then the corpses started rising up and being evil, rather than say everyone collectively getting theirs handed to them by elves messing around with Forces Beyond Their Ken. I mean, the humans were the only ones to really walk away from that. Winners, no matter how badly they get bloodied, write history.

I've added Kelweather to the entry, if I can get some sort of orcish input I think it'd be well on its way.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: The Silent Watcher on 06 February 2010, 04:46:28
*Hastily scribbles down copious notes for the Gates of Hell'wrung entry*

Orcen oral history is kept by story-tellers who are revered in a similar way to shamen. They are highly respected members of the tribe, and are exempt from fighting etc.

I actually created one in a field report sent to Azzy by Ishmael Valaire. I'll se if I can find it. It's in the Library somewhere.

Epheronians, eh? Sound like prime candidates for building the Gates, if you ask me! And that would tie-in nicely with your entry as well, Valan. Give some extra history and length to both our tales.

I've been a bit out of touch Santh wise, as you know, but feel free to ask me any orc-related posers, as well as Azzy. I'm sure we can bash something out between us!


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 February 2010, 05:09:01
Thar: So is it fair to assume that the most we would have from the orcs is that the ones at Cort did something bad and that they all died/rose as shades? Any story tellers in Cor'tam'Angarek would have died with the fortress I'd wager. So the best we have is a second hand "This is people doing it wrong" greek allegory sort of way of looking at them.

Erpheronians... Hmm. It would explain why they haven't moved further north from Aden. In my head they haven't crossed the Shaddhar mountains since the Battle of Osthemangar. The weirdness surounding Cort'Mangar might be just enough to discourage them from ever leaving their settlements on the peninsula. I like it.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: The Silent Watcher on 06 February 2010, 05:43:16
I think that's a fair assumption, Val. That's how folklore gets distorted, the further away from the source of the events you are, the less likely you are to get the true facts.

As for the Epheronians, I'll wait to see what you do with them here before I make any solid plans.

I still need a Dwarven leader to ally with them over the Gates, though.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 February 2010, 06:17:35
You'd want a Kurakim dwarf then. They've got decent relations with the Injerin and they fight orcs alongside the Injerin, so they'd be more apt to co-operate with another ally against the orcs. Your only problem there is that they live somewhere in the Prominent mountains. It's a bit of a hike to Caaelh'heroth from there.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on 06 February 2010, 06:21:10
There are also the dwarfs in the Imlith Mountain, which I believe is closer to where you are talking about.

Dek


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: The Silent Watcher on 06 February 2010, 06:27:32
See how out of touch I am? Whoever I choose, they need to have been in the area a loooooong time ago.

Now let's stop hijacking this thread.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 06 February 2010, 11:18:43
I think my basic idea was that during the Battle of Osthemangar, there was a great cataclysmic event that broke open the Shadespell Gorge. This resulted in Netherworld energies destroying Cort'Mangar and its inhabitants. However, what really happened was the city and inhabitants merged with the Netherworld presence in a twisted in-between realm. Likely, time stopped for the people of the city and as Shades, they still believe they are fighting a battle.

That is one myth/theory that scholars could have created over the years. There could, of course, be others.

As for the Epheronians, another of my ideas for them is that they have been at war with the orcs of Aden for many years. Perhaps, one could propose that the Battle of Osthemangar was fought by the Erpheronians (knights of Armeros etc) against the orcs of Cort'Mangar. When the orcen shamans sought to unleash a terrible spell against the humans, they ended up destroying themselves. Erpheronian lore now tells of how the humans fled the battle and settled Aden more or less in peace. They never explored much past Cort'Mangar knowing the terrible place it is now.

The remaining surviving orcen clans kept up the war with the humans but were eventually wiped out thus leading to their extinction. Essentially, by this explanation, the Erpheronians and orcs have a very ancient history in Caaehl'heroth. Likely, the lore is so old that much is forgotten by now.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 07 February 2010, 13:25:36
As should be obvious already, edits in red. Orcish views added to the mythology (the section probably needs a bit of text to frame it).

I'm open for suggestions to add to the history.
Part of it will probably include the arrival of men on Aden.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 09 February 2010, 04:23:12
Ok, here comes an Uri!

Overview
Far to the north, the ruined fortress of Cort’Mangar looms in the north of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth. The city, believed to have been fortress-like in its days as a settlement now sits cracked and decaying like a putrid egg near the infamous Shadespell Gorge.

(Overview can be a bit more detailed, at least touching upon other key points of the entry, like People or Myth. Also you don't mention that we're talking about the Sarvonian continent e.g. - always have in mind that the reader has no idea about what lies where in Caelereth, so make things as clear as possible.)

Description
"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful..." Mavram Swiftrook wrote of the broken, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the cracked and broken walls of the city (Which city? Is the fortress named Cort'Mangar, or is there a city called Cort'Mangar, as "spires of Cort'Mangar" could refer to the whole city... In general the title itself doesn't mention what you're talking about, so just update it accordingly to e.g. "The Fortress of Cort'Mangar". Maybe if the fortress is called Cort'Mangar you might decide to give the city its own name, just to make things perfectly clear, right now this might be rather confusing.), which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and its unearthly inhabitants.

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction, stand easily 160 peds tall in their broken state, as has been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds. The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcish built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater the surface of the ruins heavily, or litter the mist covered streets. (So, is it only the fortress that features the towers? Ot is the fortress part of the city? How many towers are there?)

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins of Cort'Mangar. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around Cort'Mangar is in a state of permanent changelessness. The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends for about ten strals from the city. It does not rain or snow within these ten strals usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh impossible for any one man. The second reason for the darkness that seems to have infested itself in the area is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld. It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of its "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place.

The ruins can only be approached by two means. The south, where Marvan Swiftrook undoubtedly made his ill-fated expedition, and the west. Initially, only the southern route was known yet, upon later exploration, the Injerín explorer Saryas Kelweather discovered a great bridge that crossed the body of the Shadespell Gorge and ended near the city. This is the only known crossing of the Gorge and remains structurally sound despite its age, suggesting the use of magic in the construction.

(There could be some more description here, going into further detail of what kinds of buildings can still be partly found, perhaps underground passages etc. Places like this are a nice challenge for the imagination!)

Location.
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caaehl'heroth, the north-eastern most section of Northern Sarvonia. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking its otherworldly aura into the region.

People.
In the long ago days (proper English?) before Thar the city of Cor’tam Angarek ("City of the Dark Claw" in an ancient, long since dead orcish dialect), was an orcen fortress, built to keep Erpheronians from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek. (Aha, here we finally learn more about the city... All things that should be mentioned properly in the Overview! - However: The "Erpheronians" as such didn't exist before 2200 b.S., Valan (see their entry), and Marvin Swiftbrook arrived there not before 1000 b.S.! Yet you continue in the next paragraph that the dark elves joined the orcs, who had been defending themselves against Erpheronians, who wouldn't arrived for the next 8000 years... So I guess there are definitely some changes needed!)

During the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves joined the orcs in inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war. Since the destruction of Cort’Mangar (How did that happen? Could be at least mentioned here.), the only inhabitants of the ruins are the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” or “Faces of Night" to orcs, terrible spectres who flit silently among the decaying city. "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!" The Injerín explorer Kelweather called these creatures "Náfreánh" (Styrásh for "faded"). The commonly held theory states that these creatures are the spirits of the dead caught between Caelereth and the Netherworld.

Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of Caaehl'heroth, the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow, making the soundless air seem strangely dead.

This becalmed aura extends for six or seven strals in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke.

The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar nor its coast and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or moments (The term for "seconds" in Santharia is actually "blinks" BTW.) stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending. The air smells of cold and faintly of decay, despite any flesh in the city having rotted away eons ago.

----------------------------------

Ok, so much for the basic part... Now with myth and history as has been mentioned above we're getting on shaky terrain, referring to Erpheronians which weren't really there. I'll have to check the historical development maps and see how that could be explained better.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 09 February 2010, 04:48:06
Ok, back from some history excursions...

The main thread of interest are the ancient timelines, which you find here (http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,8939.0.html). As you can see the area you're talking about isn't very well developed in terms of human tribes, all that seems to be clear is that the humans up there were called the "Dinali".

You find a few rough pointers here and there if you search the site, e.g. in the Northern Sarvonian (http://www.santharia.com/places/northern_sarvonia.htm) entry or at the entry on the Great Sundering (http://www.santharia.com/history/great_sundering.htm). The most you find at the Peninsula of Kr'uul  (http://www.santharia.com/places/kruul_peninsula.htm)entry, where they are described as somewhat twisted humans.

But probably this all mainly refers to the area with the Peninsula of Kru'ul, which lies west of the Lands of the Kuglimz. So what tribe you have up there exactly before the War of the Chosen is very unclear, and still something to decide. They could be Dinali as described, or be offsprings of the Dinali and develop to something entirely different.

That's also something Azhira might be interested to chip in, as this is an interesting territory up there...


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on 09 February 2010, 05:06:06
From my research into the Eight Wind Bays, the Dinali were the human troops of Eckra the Cruel. They supposedly still inhabit the Peninsula of Kr'uul, killing or doing worse things to those foolish enough to venture too far into that blighted land.

Eckra was, of course, only one of the four archmagi involved in the Battle of the Winds. The Dinali are only mentioned with regards to Eckra, the tribes/races used by the others aren't mentioned ... although as two are described as white mages, it could be assumed that they are human/elf troops. Of the fourth archmagi, no real mention of his troops are made.

Yairock isn't mentioned anywhere else on site, from what I can tell. As Yairock was the archmage 'of the north' he might be the most relevant to you, Valan.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 09 February 2010, 05:24:19
Ehhh...the Dinali! Of course!

I think I might have added to the confusion. I refer to the Erpheronians as being the humans up there involved with Cort'Mangar and they really didn't exist yet as a tribe. What could be said are humans *from* the Erpheronian lands of South Sarvonia, or make them the Dinali. I would prefer to use the Dinali as they are an established human tribe up in that area, or used to be. They are extinct now, I believe.

But yes...one needs to establish certain timelines of the tribes before proceeding. I do know that the orcs have always been up there, in the form of the extinct Aes'Os'th'er'oc. But as Arti said, we'll need to decide the pre-Erpheronian human tribe. Expanding on this Yairock might be interesting, too.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 09 February 2010, 12:51:28
So it sounds as though I've more work to do?

Drat. That's killed my bit about the Aerphereine documents I think. Hmm. I suppose I'll save them for later anyways. I doubt the Dinalli would be much for the style there anyways, to say nothing of writing. They seem... barbaric? The orcish history should still be fine, except for the location they drive the vermin back to.


Azhira: The settlement of Ogh might be an old Dinalli one?


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 09 February 2010, 13:18:15
Yes, Ogh could be a Dinali ruin. The name seems orcen though. Perhaps the settlement changed hands over the years and Ogh was once known by another Dinali name.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 09 February 2010, 14:11:32
I can work with that. I can work with that indeed.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 10 February 2010, 03:59:14
The Erpheronians definitely came much later to the north and then from the Peninsula of Aden, and it's also unclear how far they actually got with all the orcs around as such. So if Erpheronians are involved, the key events would need to be moved around 2000 b.S. or so. Actually not everything needs to pre-date the War of the Chosen, because this is so early on in time that it is hardly "real", it's basically all mythical at that time. It doesn't hurt to have battles and crumbled fortresses when Erpheronia was around. So you might look into that as an option.

The Dinali as far as I can see and as Deklitch already pointed out basically were defined as the inhabitants of the Peninsula of Kr'uul, and as such very specially designed for that purpose see (the Chosen Eckra and his malicious intents, Forbidden Zone etc.) So they are mentioned in the timeline more or less just to have a rough idea what could be out there in the northwestern section of Northern Sarvonia, yet the people up there (even if they by now are extinct) could have developed into something entirely different. I guess it would make much more sense if they aren't Dinali as described in the Eckra the Cruel context, but something of their own. If so, you'd need at least to have a rough idea what they are for this entry...


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 10 February 2010, 04:34:46
Part of the problem might be that if we move it that much closer, the information probably needs to become a little bit more concrete. Which puts parts of my entry well back past square one I think

In any case, let me see if I understand what I can and cannot do here.

1. Move the events forward in the timeline to 2000 b.S. so that the Erpheronians can be involved.
2. Remove the erpheronian references and
-a) replace them with Eckra's Dinali
-b) claim that the humans are from Erpheronia (?)
-c) replace them with some other sort of Dinali
-d) The Mysterious Fourth Option


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 10 February 2010, 05:13:06
Yeah, these are the options methinks, more or less I'd say. Though 1) isn't an absolute must if you don't want to go with an Erpheronian option...


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 10 February 2010, 05:57:03
If you remove the Erpheronian option, then you would be keeping consistent with the lore already on-site. I don't see anything wrong with moving the events forward. You would have a 3000 year gap between the city's destruction and the time when the Erpheronians were born. Those 3000 years could give rise to the orcs that the later humans would have to contend with.

But if Cort'Mangar was built to defend against incursions from Aden, and you can't use the Erpheronians! So that leaves a tribe of Dinali or a pre-Erpheronian human tribe from South Sarvonia. It would be easy to simply create a Dinali tribe that could be involved in the Battle of Osthemangar and get wiped out.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 26 February 2010, 03:23:53
Right. There it is. I think I've fixed the last of those problems, though I forgot to pull out the second colour until I was just about done. Uncertainty Proudmen have been excised and replaced with the Dinali. I tried adapting the previous text but the tone was out of place so it's been removed.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 27 February 2010, 02:33:01
Yellow pen, here I come!

 Overview
Far to the north of Sarvonia, the ruined fortress of Cort’Mangar looms in the north of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth. The city, believed to have been fortress-like in its days as a settlement now sits cracked and decaying like a putrid egg near the infamous Shadespell Gorge.

So short… You mention first fortress, then city. I think it is a city. Perhaps that it was once believed to be a heavily fortified city would be a better description. Maybe mention the Shades in the Overview or what is believed the city was used for.)

•  Description
"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful…" Marvan Swiftrook (Mention who Marvan Swiftrook is for the readers’ understanding. He was an Erpheronian explorer. What were his motives for going up there?) wrote of the broken, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the cracked and broken walls of the city, which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and its unearthly inhabitants.

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction, stand easily 160 peds tall in their broken state, as has been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds. The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcish built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater the surface of the ruins heavily, or litter the mist covered streets.

Very little can be distinguished from the mists within the city itself. Those structures which are not towers are laid out in an ordered grid, long since broken and mutilated by the destruction of the city. The orcish ruins are blocky with harsh corners and heavy battlements around what must have been doors or windows. Though few remain, orcish wall defenses seem to have tapered to a spike-ringed tower with an open top.

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins of Cort'Mangar. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around Cort'Mangar is in a state of permanent changelessness. The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends for about ten strals from the city. It does not rain or snow within these ten strals usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh impossible for any one man. The second reason for this pervasive darkness is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld. It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of its "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place. Few dare approach the ruins and this remains mere conjecture.

The ruins can only be approached by two means. The south, where Marvan Swiftrook undoubtedly made his ill-fated expedition and the west. Initially, only the southern route was known yet, upon later exploration, the Injerín explorer Saryas Kelweather discovered a great bridge that crossed the body of the Shadespell Gorge and ended near the city. This is the only known crossing of the Gorge and remains structurally sound despite its age, suggesting the use of magic in the construction.

•  Location
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caaehl'heroth the north-eastern most section of Northern Sarvonia. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking its otherworldly aura into the region. (Excellent description!)

•  People
In the long ago days before Thar (For the reader, who is Thar?); the fortress of Cor’tam Angarek, (lit."City of the Dark Claw" in an ancient, long since dead orcish diaclet) was an orcen fortress, built to keep some enemy (believed to be an offshoot of Ekcra's Dinali people) (You have to define for the reader who Ekcra’s Dinali people were. You’ll need some history in this section as most readers are unfamiliar with the history of the North), from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek and girded it for war. (Also some timelines in here would be great. Keep the dates vague, non-specific as this happened sooooo long ago.)

(Again, not to be specific too much.)During the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves joined the orcs in inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war. After the destruction of Cort’Mangar1, the exact cause of which remains unknown, the only inhabitants of the ruins are the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” or “Faces of Night" to orcs. Terrible spectres who flit silently among the decaying city. "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!" Kelweather called these creatures "Náfreánh" (Faded; styrash). The commonly held theory states that these creatures are the spirits of the dead caught between Caelereth and the Netherworld.

(When doing translations, keep them consistent. The standard as recommended by Arti is to have the translation in parenthesis. For example: "Hav’ak Lohks” (orcen lit. “Faces of Night”.) and "Náfreánh" (lit. Styrash “The Faded”.)

•  Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of Caaehl'heroth (not all of Caaehl’heroth is cloudy and grey! Only the Misty parts and Cort’Mangar. The Kaaer area and Icelands are not.), the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow, making the soundless air seem strangely dead.

This becalmed aura extends for six or seven strals in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke.

The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar, nor its coast and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or seconds stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending. The air smells of cold and faintly of decay, despite any flesh in the city having rotted away eons ago.

•  Mythology
Fragment of Dinali text, recovered near the orcen ruin of Ogh ca. 730 b.S.
And we fled to the sea, we crossed it and came to land, and were driven back into the sea by monsters.

Osther-Oc Oral History (transcribed and translated from Kh'omchr'om)  Who translated it? Is this the Dinali text mentioned above?)

In the far off days of the past, vermin came to the land. The clans fought them, but they could not kill all the vermin, weak as they were they were too many.
To keep the vermin from their lands, the clans built a fortress. They built its walls high and strong. They called it "of the Dark Claw", and there they made camp.
The clans killed the vermin, drove them back across the mountains and thought them crushed and dead and returned to their camps, never more to cross the mountains.
But the vermin returned, and brought more vermin with them.
And music of battle sounded on the plains and the spirits rose up, angered by the blood of the vermin.
The angered spirits tore open the land, and made it barren and drove orc and vermin both from it.
And the spirits rose up and cursed the fortress. They tore down its walls and broke its camps and killed its peoples.
They cursed its people to keep all from it, and to walk the land for as long as mountains are hard and oceans are wet.
And the cursed warriors died and rose up, clothed in the night.
Their faces were the night, and they rose and kept the land from vermin and from orc.

(The Injerin are known to be record keepers so perhaps they have some lore that would help with the history of Cort’mangar. They existed during this time and maybe they have fragments of lore from the dark elves, too. I think another piece of mythology is important here if you can manage it.)


•  History

Author's Note: Information derived from old Erpheronian records and from scrolls recovered by Saryas Kelweather. (Wasn’t the city pre-dated the Erpheronians? Did Saryas get the scrolls from the Injerin libraries? If the Dinali were involved, then maybe records existed from the Eight Winds Bay people who lived in Folkmore (again the Injerin off-shoots).

ca. 9800 b.S. The City of Cor'tam'Angarek is Built
Scholars estimate that the ancient dark elven city of Cor'tam'Angarek is built to function as a fortress city against incursions from the Aden peninsula. It is said that the city had spires far grander and taller than any known in the present day.

ca. 5000 b.S. Cor'tam'Angarek is destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar
The Battle of Osthemangar rages for many days over most of the northern reaches of Caaehl'heroth. Cor'tam'Angarek's defenders fall to a siege that lasts over several weeks. As the dead lay in the thousands among the fresh ruins, the influence of the Netherworld presence along the chasm somehow infects the bodies. Over time, the name is basterdized and the city of shadow becomes Cort'Mangar. (It is mentioned above that it is unknown how Cort’Mangar came to ruin. Here is why.)

ca. 1000 b.S. Erpheronian Explorer Marvan Swiftrook Discovers Cort’Mangar
Shortly before his disappearance in the Mists, Marvan Swiftrook discovers the Shadespell Gorge and the city of Cort’Mangar. His discovery and narrow escape from the Shades slowly drives him mad. His journal tells of a mysterious people that live in the city now completely overrun with shadow and Netherworld presence.

[1] The compendiumist has attempted to maintain scholarly neutrality by avoiding subscription to any of the dozen theories as to the cause of the opening of the Shadespell Gorge. (It is always good to mention theories of various kinds from various scholars. It gets different points of view to the reader to decide.)


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 27 February 2010, 04:34:27
I'd thought of Cort'Mangar as a fortress first, a city second if at all. Doubt this is the last bunch of edits I'll have to make, but we'll try to get the rest done in any case.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 05 March 2010, 05:31:32
Azhira made various good points (got an aura already for that!), so see to address those, Valan! Also the points I made are only partly covered yet, so make sure to go through these things thoroughly!

I guess the concept with the Dinali offshoot works better now. I might suggest however that you give this offshoot tribe of the Dinali at least some sort of unique name, even if it's only a mythical one. Even though not too many specifics are known about them, simply to have it would be good enough. Otherwise they'd just stay vague unnamed somewhat Dinali-related guys, and even if we change the name later, we'd find references to them much easier. So nothing wrong with that, especially as the distinction between the Dinali and these guys is somewhat of importance.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 03 April 2010, 05:15:31
I think I've just about covered everything there, with the exception of the Injerin bits. I've questions I need to ask regarding Kelweather if I'm to have any hope of making sense.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: seth ghibta on 05 April 2010, 19:58:01
this is me finally getting round to reading this, and aurying you for the fantastically atmospheric descriptions throughout. nice one! :thumbup:
...i don't really have anything useful to say... :buck:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Tharoc Wargrider on 05 April 2010, 22:17:04
Here are a few comments from me, Valan.

•  Overview
Far to the north of Sarvonia, the ruined fortress of Cort’Mangar looms in the north of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth. The city, believed to have been fortress-like in its days as a settlement now sits cracked and decaying like a putrid egg near the infamous Shadespell Gorge. Mmmm. Sounds lovely! Have you ever thought of writing holiday brochure descriptions?

•  Description
"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful…" Marvan Swiftrook, an early Erpheronian explorer to Caael'heroth, wrote of the broken, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the cracked and broken walls of the city, which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and its unearthly inhabitants. The words 'cracked' and 'broken' already seem to be making a nuisance of themselves, Valan. Perhaps you could use different words to vary the text a little?

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction According to who?, stand easily 160 peds tall in their broken state, as has been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great comma black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds. The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcish (I prefer orcen, but there you go!) built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater (Towers don't crater a surface. Towers stick up, craters go down. Perhaps 'besmirch' would be better?the surface of the ruins heavily, or (and?) litter the mist covered streets.

Very little can be distinguished from the mists within the city itself. (Very little of the city itself can be distinguished where it is shrouded within the mists) Those structures which (that?) are not towers are laid out in an ordered grid, long since broken and mutilated by the destruction of the city. The orcish ruins are blocky comma with harsh corners and heavy battlements around what must have been doors or windows. Though few remain, orcish wall defenses seem to have tapered to a spike-ringed tower with an open top.

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins of Cort'Mangar. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around Cort'Mangar is in a state of permanent changelessness (stagnation?). The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends for about ten strals from the city (In which direction?). It does not rain or snow within these ten strals comma usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh-on impossible for any one man. The second reason for this pervasive darkness is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld. It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of its "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place. Few dare approach the ruins and so this remains mere conjecture. I understand why you use the name Cort'Mangar so freely throughout this paragraph, but perhaps you could replace at least one of the instances with 'the city', or 'that city'? Personally, I think it would read a lot smoother if one of the references to the name were changed.

The ruins can only be approached by two means. The south, where Marvan Swiftrook undoubtedly made his ill-fated expedition comma and the west. Initially, only the southern route was known yet, upon later exploration, the Injerín explorer Saryas Kelweather discovered a great bridge that crossed the body of the Shadespell Gorge and ended near the city. This is the only known crossing of the Gorge and remains structurally sound despite its age, suggesting the use of magic in the construction.

•  Location
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caaehl'heroth in the north-eastern most section of Northern Sarvonia. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking its otherworldly aura into the region. Perhaps you could include some suggestions of distances here? I doubt the explorers would have been able to gauge precise distances due to the mists, etc, so rough estimates would suffice.

•  People
In the long ago days before Thar, the king; the fortress of Cor’tam Angarek, ("City of the Dark Claw" in an ancient, long since dead orcish dialect) was an orcen fortress, built to keep some enemy (believed to be an offshoot of Ekcra's Dinali people), from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek and girded it for war. You use 'orcish' and 'orcen' within the same sentence here. I suggest using either one or t'other. I am prepared to overlook your bestowing the ancient orcs with the skills needed to build tall towers. Personally, I see that as being a much more recent acquisition, but for the sake of this entry I shall not argue the point. After all, you haven't said that they were architecturally sound structures, nor pleasing to the eye!

During the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves joined the orcs in inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles (What is summoning circles?) and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war. After the destruction of Cort’Mangar1, the exact cause of which remains unknown, the only inhabitants of the ruins are were? the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” (Faces of Night; orcish) to and? orcs. Terrible spectres who flit silently among the decaying city (Who are these terrible spectres? This sentence seems to have been tagged on as an afterthought. Maybe changing the full stop after 'orcs' to a comma would help to integrate it better?). "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!" Kelweather called these creatures "Náfreánh" (Faded; styrash). The commonly held theory states that these creatures are the spirits of the dead caught between Caelereth and the Netherworld.

•  Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of western Caaehl'heroth, the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow, making the soundless air seem strangely dead.

This becalmed aura extends for six or seven strals in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke.

The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar, nor its coast comma and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or blinks stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending. The air smells of cold and faintly of decay, despite any flesh in the city having rotted away eons (Is this word a liitle modern for us medieval simpletons? Perhaps generations would be better?) ago.

•  Mythology
Fragment of Dinali text, recovered near the orcen ruin of Ogh ca. 730 b.S.
And we fled to the sea, we crossed it and came to land, and were driven back into the sea by monsters. Speech marks.

Osther-Oc Oral History (transcribed and translated from Kh'omchr'om) By who?

In the far off days of the past (In the time of our grandsires' grandsires), vermin came to the land. The clans fought them, but they could not kill all the vermin, weak as they were they were too many.
To keep the vermin from their lands, the clans built a fortress. They built its walls high and strong. They called it "of the Dark Claw", and there they made camp.
The clans killed the vermin, drove them back across the mountains and thought them crushed and dead and returned to their camps, never more to cross the mountains.
But the vermin returned, and brought more vermin (I think you can remove the second 'vermin', and the sentence would sound more authentic.) with them.
And music of battle sounded on the plains and the spirits rose up, angered by the blood of the vermin.
The angered spirits tore open the land, and made it barren and drove orc and vermin both from it.
And the spirits rose up (They have already risen up. Perhaps say "And the spirits in their anger cursed the fortress"?) and cursed the fortress. They tore down its walls and broke its camps and killed its peoples.
They cursed its people to keep all from it, and to walk the land for as long as mountains are hard and oceans are wet.
And the cursed warriors died and rose up, clothed in the night.
Their faces were the night, and they rose (Again, they are already risen!) and kept the land from vermin and from orc.
A very well done piece of rarely seen ancient orcen myth, Valan. You have done a very good job of using the basic language of the orcs. I can almost see the original Kh'omchr'om version of this. *note to self: check to see if an original version is possible with what we have available*

•  History

Author's Note: Information derived from old Injerin records and from scrolls recovered by Saryas Kelweather. Do we know where he recovered them from?

ca. 9800 b.S. The City of Cor'tam'Angarek is Built
Scholars estimate that the ancient dark elven city of Cor'tam'Angarek is built to function as a fortress city against incursions from the Aden peninsula. It is said that the city had spires far grander and taller than any known in the present day. Would the dark elves have used Kh'omchr'om in naming a city?

ca. 5000 b.S. Cor'tam'Angarek is destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar
The Battle of Osthemangar rages for many days over most of the northern reaches of Caaehl'heroth. Cor'tam'Angarek's defenders fall to a siege that lasts over several weeks. As the dead lay in their thousands among the fresh ruins, the influence of the Netherworld presence along the chasm somehow infects the bodies. Over time, the name is bastardized and the city of shadow becomes Cort'Mangar.

Delete one line betwixt here and the passage above.
ca. 4700 b.S.
Injerin records report strange, unnatural weather out of the north-west from across the Sea of Tears. Storms the that? carry the sounds of battle, unnatural wailing and screaming in the wind and a persistent smell of death in the air occur almost monthly for a year before suddenly disappearing.

ca. 1000 b.S. Erpheronian explorer Marvan Swiftrook Discovers Cort’Mangar
Shortly before his disappearance in the Mists, Marvan Swiftrook discovers the Shadespell Gorge and the city of Cort’Mangar. His discovery and narrow escape from the Shades slowly drives him mad. His journal tells of a mysterious people that live in the city now completely overrun with shadow and Netherworld presence.

1??? a.S. Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar
Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar by way of a bridge over the end of the Shadespell Gorge and observes the creatures Swiftrook called "Shades".

[1] The compendiumist has attempted to maintain scholarly neutrality by avoiding subscription to any of the dozen theories as to the cause of the opening of the Shadespell Gorge.

A very interesting account, Valan. You paint a very grim picture of this region, which is as it should be. I was worried that this entry, being at first glance similar to my intended Gates of Hell'wrung, would use much of the terminology, history and ideas I had planned for them. However, I see that you have left more than enough room for another defensive fortress to be built within Caael'heroth, and for that I am grateful!

Overall, I liked this entry very much. Once I started reading, it was impossible to stop. You draw the reader in with your skillful writing, and make us want to know more of this dread place. Well done, Val!  AURA +1


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Seeker on 06 April 2010, 01:09:36
I don't have any more suggestion.  However I just wanted you to know I love what you got here.  This is a wonderfully creepy place.   :thumbup: :thumbup:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 April 2010, 02:16:25
The fact that we're into complements and nit-picking is quite encouraging from my point of view. Could this possibly be the light at the end of the tunnel?

To clarify for you Thar: Orcs built the city/fortress. stuff. The War of the Chosen happens. Dark Elves show up. They build *really* tall towers. And magic stuff. (The sort of magic that gets shoved into a closet when people mention it!) And then everything went balls up.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Tharoc Wargrider on 06 April 2010, 03:31:00
I am heartened by the fact that, on this occasion at least, it wasn't the orcs who caused things to go, as you so eloquently said, balls up!

I see you have created some new Kh'omchr'om within this entry, Val. Could you PM me proper translations of them? I'm collecting as many new words as I can from around the site in order to update the dictionary. Thankee in advance.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 April 2010, 04:08:56
The person to go to there would be Azhira Thar. I'm borrowing words from her Shadespell Gorge entry.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Tharoc Wargrider on 06 April 2010, 04:27:05
Hmmm, a cunning ruse, master Nonesuch. I like your style.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 06 April 2010, 04:54:16
I've changed the use of the word eons to aeons (british spelling does look much nicer, I'll give it that.)

I have the exact translation of which part of "Cor'tam'angarek" means what I think, but it's buried under a few months worth of IRC logs which I am loathe to look through. And I wouldn't know the first thing about cunning. Or flowers for that matter, though I was unaware that roses existed in the north. :P

I'd be happy to try to help you improve the orcen (it really is a much nicer word, I'll have to make sure I change all of the orcish's to it) language. I had an awful time trying to put something together with it.

I've left off some of the changes in the myth section. I've found that texts like that have this odd habit of repetition, but have nixed some of that. Edits in orky lime


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Tharoc Wargrider on 06 April 2010, 05:10:04
I am embarassed by your attributing me as the translator of your orcen myth, Valan. Thank you, sir.

By the way, this colour is orc-snot green.  ;)


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 13 April 2010, 11:07:03
So far, this is a good start, Valan.  :thumbup:

1. The Overview could use some beefing up. Perhaps be a bit more clear where Cort'Mangar is at and maybe a bit of background to get the reader interested. As it is, the Overview is rather bare.

2. The People section is written in a very "real" sense. I suggest giving the Shades a bit more of a mysterious and vague explanation. Maybe a quote from Swiftrook's journal or observations from Kelweather. Also, whose theories do you speak of?

3. Since this is very ancient history, perhaps keep the tone of the entry vague. Try to gather different scholarly sources. What evidence is there about the War of the Chosen? Or is this some scholar's belief? Many theories abound about the Great Pyramids or Stonehendge, but no one alive today can definitively explain them.

4. In Description, you say the dark elves built Cort'mangar, but in People, you say the orcs built it. I would say that the ruins observable today hint strongly at orcen construction techniques not seen today (contemporary orcs don't build cities like Cort'Mangar anymore. Why? Maybe, as some theories suggest, because the dark elves built it with orcen laborers. Or perhaps the dark elves alone built it, but after the city's defeat, the orcs moved in and captured it for awhile changing the architecture and giving it a more orcen feel. But once the Shadespell Gorge erupted (again, no one knows exactly when that happened) the city was quickly enveloped in Netherworld evil trapping the orcs inside.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 16 April 2010, 23:10:14
I seem to be running into this problem all the time.

The city/fortress whatever: Built by orcs.
The great big evil towers: Built by dark elves (likely using whatever subjugated labor they had on hand.

The history identifies it as a dark elven city
Quote
Scholars estimate that the ancient dark elven city of Cor'tam'Angarek
(which is the history entry found elsewhere, except it calls the "city" Cort'Mangar)


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 17 April 2010, 01:16:55
Yeah...entirely my fault for being so inconsistent, Valan. Sloppy development.  :(

When the Gorge was written, the concept of Cort'Mangar was an afterthought written in to account for its presence on the map. The only consistent concept I had was the extinct Aeh'os'th'er'oc ruins in the area. It is not until now that I have a better history idea.

The bottom line, I think, is that I want to go in the direction of the Aeh'os'th'er'oc history.

Cort'mangar was originally an Aeh'os'th'er'oc city built long before the dark elves came. In my revised history, the Aeh'os'th'er'oc were an advanced civilization of orcs who thrived over most of Caaehl'heroth. The dark elves invaded and subjugated the orcs and conquered Cort'mangar. The city was then used as a base of operations during the War of the Chosen. The dark elves added their own architectural elements in the form of massive towers of night (likely a tribute to Coor). In the end, the city was destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar (a detail still to be finalized).

Remember, all of this is from a developer POV. For the average compendiumist, much of this history is mythical and conjecture. The history must be gleaned from ancient scrolls, tribal myths, artifacts etc. Alternate explanations are also likely depending on the researcher you ask.

Make sense?


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 21 April 2010, 03:03:44
I see you haven't taken care of yet of Azhira's latest comments, so in that case I refrain from checking the entry again in detail otherwise we'd probably comment on the same thing twice. So make it easier for the commenters, Valan - do your homework once you get some good suggestions and pointers, then it makes sense to give this another - hopefully final - check.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 24 April 2010, 06:30:49
Overviews, my persistent nemesis.

Relevant changes made in Pink. I am slowly but surely running out of white text in this entry as well as colours to use.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 30 April 2010, 04:58:46
Comments!

- The Overview still doesn't mention anything about the castle's former inhabitants. Dark elves? Orcs? None of these things are mentioned in the Overview. This is rather essential information I'd say. Give us a glimpse of that mystery in that paragraph. The Overview should be the key to the whole entry and give you the most important things straight away, so that you don't have to read the whole entry.

- There's something missing in this sentence, right?

Quote
Now its only inhabitants are dead air and the mysterious Shades that haunt its fog shrouded streets.

- In the People section: You say that there first was the city of "Cor’tam Angarek" ("City of the Dark Claw"), then the dark elves come and then you talk about "After the destruction of Cort’Mangar..." So... Reading that section alone - when did the name Cort'Mangar arise? So still a bit shaky there.

So there are still a few things missing, but we're getting there... I think...


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 30 April 2010, 08:24:50
In addition to Arti's comments above...

Overview
Far to the north of Sarvonia, the ruined fortress of Cort’Mangar looms in the north of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth, south of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar. The city, believed to have been fortress-like in its days as a settlement now sits cracked and decaying like a putrid egg near the infamous Shadespell Gorge. Now its only inhabitants are dead air and the mysterious Shades that haunt its fog shrouded streets.

I mentioned elsewhere about the history of the now extinct orcen civilization, the Ae'es'th'er'oc. I am further expanding them in future entries such as the Caaehl Mountains entry and I already mentioned them in the Kalta'Goor entry. Those ancient orcs built great places all over Caaehl'heroth. Cort'mangar was believed to be one of their cities, so make that clear in the overview. It was a fortress city built to defend their lands from invaders from Aden (Dinali). Also give a bit more info about the Shades. The overview is a summary of the entry itself.

•  Description

I would suggest writing a bit about Marvan Swiftrook's account in the beginning of the entry. Detail some of what he saw and how his writings came to be known today. It opens the description with an eerie eyewitness account because scholars now do not know what it really looked like in its heyday.

"Erpheronia’s majestic castles hold not a candle to these dark ruins. I find them strangely beautiful…" Marvan Swiftrook, an early Erpheronian explorer to Caael'heroth, wrote of the shattered, jagged spires of Cort'Mangar. These massive towers rise above the riven and ruined walls of the city, which enclose the mist which obscures much of the rest of the city, and its unearthly inhabitants.

Who are these unearthly inhabitants? The reader is left hanging until much farther down the entry when you actually mention the Shades.

Much of Cort'Mangar's remaining construction seems slapdash. Block shaped orcen buildings standing along great towers of night, broad streets broken up by arcane circles of stone megaliths engraved with some sort of symbols. Researchers cannot approach the city close enough to investigate these further, for fear of life and limb.

Someone will need to approach close enough to gather more details. It may be possible to approach the city closely long enough before disturbing the Shades. If not Marvan, maybe Saryas was able to get closer. Or perhaps the Mist Hunters were able to get in. They are best equipped to handle Netherworld hauntings. However it happens, I think we need another account apart from Marvan. His visit was all too brief.

The towers of Cort'Mangar, supposedly of dark elven construction, stand easily 160 peds tall in their broken state, as has been estimated by the use of complicated mathematical formulae. The design of these towers is strange, more like they were grown than crafted, resembling nothing more than great, black backbones stretching into the sky, splintered tops clawing at the clouds.

The towers stand in sharp contrast to the blocky orcen built ruins below. In several places, jagged shards of towers crater the surface of the ruins heavily, or litter the mist covered streets.

You need to clearly distinguish the belief that the lower ruins are orcen while the later tower ruins are dark elven. The dark elves essentially built another city atop the orcen one. There are visible differences in structure (layers) but it is not too clear here of that.

Very little of the city itself can be distinguished where it is shrouded within the mists. Those structures which are not towers are laid out in an ordered grid, long since broken and mutilated by the destruction of the city. The orcen ruins are blocky, with harsh corners and heavy battlements around what must have been doors or windows. Though few remain, orcen wall defenses seem to have tapered to a spike-ringed tower with an open top.

Do any accounts give a relative distance width of the city? Or how high the walls may have been?

"I can sense a palpable malevolence in the area" is what Swiftrook wrote of the region around Cort'Mangar. It is true that there seems to be less light the closer an observer approaches to the ruins. The cause of this seems to be two-fold. The weather around the ruins is in a state of permanent changelessness. The air does not stir unprompted and a permanent bank of dark cloud extends from the city for about ten strals in all directions. It does not rain or snow within these ten strals usually referred to as the "Desolation of Cort'Mangar". Nothing green grows on this frozen plain. It requires a great deal of effort to do more than crack the ground and digging is nigh impossible for any one man. The second reason for this pervasive darkness is thought to be the sapping influence of the Netherworld. It may be that the proximity to the Shadespell Gorge, or one of its "tributaries" sucks the very light and life out of a place. Few dare approach the ruins and this remains mere conjecture.

Who refers to this as the Desolation of Cort'mangar?

When it comes to Netherworld opinions, you need a Netherworld scholar to help make those suppositions. The most current scholar of that sort is Vekarn Kha'mal, the Volkek-Oshra demonologist. Netherworld studies are highly conjectural as only one known person has visited the Netherworld (Quagoth). Maybe a paragraph or two highlighting Vekarn's thoughts on these tributaries? Just a thought.

The ruins can only be approached by two means. The south, where Marvan Swiftrook undoubtedly made his ill-fated expedition, and the west. Initially, only the southern route was known yet, upon later exploration, the Injerín explorer Saryas Kelweather discovered a great bridge that crossed the body of the Shadespell Gorge and ended near the city. This is the only known crossing of the Gorge and remains structurally sound despite its age, suggesting the use of magic in the construction.

•  Location
The Ruins of Cort’Mangar are located on Caaehl'heroth in the north-easternmost section of Northern Sarvonia. The nearest visible landmark, Mount Osthen, is estimated to be some hundred strals from the ruins. The Ruins lie to the south-west of the Deep Winds Portal at Osthemangar and at one end of the Shadespell Gorge. Cort’Mangar and the immediate region are often referred to as a whole as “The Desolation of Cort’Mangar”. Scholars suspect that a fissure from the Shadespell Gorge extends underneath the city itself, leaking its otherworldly aura into the region.

•  People
In the long ago days before Thar, the king; the fortress of Cor’tam Angarek, ("City of the Dark Claw" in an ancient, long since dead orcen dialect) was an orcen fortress, built to keep some enemy , from encroaching further into Caael’heroth. The orcs built high walls and tall towers in Cor’tam Angarek and girded it for war. This enemy, believed, from recovered artefacts in the Shaddhar mountains, to be an offshoot of the Dinali, feared soldiers of the Chosen Eckra the Cruel

First, who is Thar? Here you introduce the orcen name of Cor'tam Angarek, but give no clue to the reader that it is the ancient formal name of Cort'mangar.

Second, you say it is a fortress, but above you say it is a city. Which is it? We know it is a city, maybe say fortified city?

Third, give some history about Eckra and the Dinali. A reader may have no idea who they are! A future Dinali entry may expand on what you write about them here.

Fragmented records from Injerin libraries suggest that during the War of the Chosen, Dark Elves were believed to have enslaved the orcs inhabiting the city, building dark spires of impossible heights, summoning circles and eventually creating twisted, evil creatures for the war, making Meph'guor and other monstrosities to do battle.

There are other sources of the dark elven take over. The Osther-Oc do have legends and stories as well. It was their ancestors who were conquered after all!

After the destruction of Cort’Mangar1, the exact cause of which remains unknown, the only inhabitants of the ruins are the enigmatic “Shades”, "Hav’ak Lohks” (Faces of Night; Kh'om'chr'om) to orcs. Terrible spectres who flit silently among the decaying city. "They do not walk. They…slither on barely perceptible legs. As if their lower bodies are bathed in shadow. I see hundreds of them. Maybe thousands!" Kelweather called these creatures "Náfreánh" (Faded; styrash). The commonly held theory of Santharian scholars states that these creatures are the spirits of the dead caught between Caelereth and the Netherworld.

Your translations need some work. Ideally, the format is "Hav'ak Lohks" (orcen lit. "Faces of Night"). The same with "Náfreánh" (Styrash lit. "Faded").

An approximation of the destruction of Cort'mangar is in the Gorge entry I think. The Battle of Osthemangar I think?

You introduce the Shades here as a common knowledge. Where is the ominous mystery surrounding them? Where are the vague descriptions? Where is the anxiousness in Kelweather's words? What about a mention of Marvan's encounter?

The Osther-Oc believe them to be the spirits of the orcish warriors that inhabited the city, punished for angering the land and cursed to keep all creatures from it for eternity, and share this belief with the Kaaer'dar'shin Half Orcs.

This last part may need some thinking. I don't know how the Kaaer would think at this time, so its best to leave that bit out.

•  Climate
The weather surrounding Cort’Mangar can hardly be called such. Like much of western Caaehl'heroth, the ruins are perpetually shrouded in cloudy greyness. It does not rain or snow about Cort’Mangar, nor does the wind blow, making the soundless air seem strangely dead.

This becalmed aura extends for six or seven strals in every direction from the ruins, leaving the ground cold, dusty and desolate. A perpetual black fog lies on the ruins themselves, obscuring the ground from easy inspection, and wreathing the towers like fell smoke.

The air is biting cold, and only grows colder as the approach of the city continues. No wind touches Cort’Mangar, nor its coast, and sea-faring vessels daren't approach it for fear of becoming becalmed. Time behaves oddly within the Desolation, twisting and knotting, warping like wood left to dry. There is no discernible pattern to how this behaves, days can last blinks of the eye, or blinks stretch on endlessly until they seem to be days in ending. The air smells of cold and faintly of decay, despite any flesh in the city having rotted away aeons ago.

•  Mythology
Fragment of Dinali text, recovered near the orcen ruin of Ogh ca. 730 b.S.
"And we fled to the sea, we crossed it and came to land, and were driven back into the sea by monsters."

That's it? Surely more could be gleaned from this fragment...the monsters could have been anything. What relevance is this fragment to the Shades specifically?

Osther-Oc Oral History (transcribed and translated from Kh'omchr'om by Tharoc Wargrider)

In the days of our grandsires' grandsires, vermin came to the land. The clans fought them, but they could not kill all the vermin, weak as they were, for they were too many.
To keep the vermin from their lands, the clans built a fortress. They built its walls high and strong. They called it "of the Dark Claw", and there they made camp.
The clans killed the vermin, drove them back across the mountains and thought them crushed and dead and returned to their camps, never more to cross the mountains.
But the vermin returned, and brought more with them.
And music of battle sounded on the plains and the spirits rose up, angered by the blood of the vermin.
The angered spirits tore open the land, and made it barren and drove orc and vermin both from it.
And in their anger, the spirits cursed the fortress. They tore down its walls and broke its camps and killed its peoples.
They cursed its people to keep all from it, and to walk the land for as long as stone is hard and water is wet.
And the cursed warriors died and rose up, clothed in the night.
Their faces were the night, and they rose and kept the land from vermin and from orc.

The little myth is nice.


•  History

Author's Note: Information derived from old Injerin records and from scrolls recovered by Saryas Kelweather. (Where did he get the scrolls?)

ca. 9800 b.S. The City of Cor'tam'Angarek is Built
Scholars estimate that the ancient dark elven city of Cor'tam'Angarek is built to function as a fortress city against incursions from the Aden peninsula. It is said that the city had spires far grander and taller than any known in the present day.

ca. 5000 b.S. Cor'tam'Angarek is destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar
The Battle of Osthemangar rages for many days over most of the northern reaches of Caaehl'heroth. Cor'tam'Angarek's defenders fall to a siege that lasts over several weeks. As the dead lay in the thousands among the fresh ruins, the influence of the Netherworld presence along the chasm somehow infects the bodies. Over time, the name is bastardized and the city of shadow becomes Cort'Mangar.

Above you say the city's destruction was unknown. Here you are specific about it. Likely, the humans bastardized the name. Maybe the current name came from the Erpheronians.


ca. 4700 b.S.
Injerin records report strange, unnatural weather out of the north-west from across the Sea of Tears. Storms the carry the sounds of battle, unnatural wailing and screaming in the wind and a persistent smell of death in the air occur almost monthly for a year before suddenly disappearing.

It's better that the records be orcen, not Injerin. The orcen sources are more reliable.

ca. 1000 a.S. Erpheronian Explorer Marvan Swiftrook Discovers Cort’Mangar
Shortly before his disappearance in the Mists, Marvan Swiftrook discovers the Shadespell Gorge and the city of Cort’Mangar. His discovery and narrow escape from the Shades slowly drives him mad. His journal tells of a mysterious people that live in the city now completely overrun with shadow and Netherworld presence.

ca. 1200-1300 a.S. Swiftrook's Journal recovered by Kaer'dar'shin Mist Hunters
A group of Mist Hunters recovers Marvan Swiftrook's journal from a G'hun'Morta-Oc in the Mists. This journal would later find its way into the hands of Syras Kelweather and from there into the possession of the Santharian Dream.

ca. 1400 a.S. Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar
Syras Kelweather rediscovers Cort'Mangar by way of a bridge over the end of the Shadespell Gorge and observes the creatures Swiftrook called "Shades".

[1] The compendiumist has attempted to maintain scholarly neutrality by avoiding subscription to any of the dozen theories as to the cause of the opening of the Shadespell Gorge.

Overall, the entry requires some more detail. I know the Gorge entry is all you have had to use as a reference. I was hoping you would expand considerably on what I wrote, but what I see describes not much more than the Gorge entry, if less. You added the Dinali concept, which is good, but underutilized here. The Gorge entry has more detail on the Shades then here, and I would expect more about them in this entry. The sources of information are inconsistent and all too brief. Marvan and Saryas' accounts are barely here at all.

This is not an easy subject to write on, I will admit. Myth/historical entries have to be written with just enough detail to warrant a historical footnote, but not enough to give away their mythological aspect. Your best course of action is to take far ancient history from orcen legends and Injerin records. Then, use Marvan and Saryas for eyewitness accounts (Shades). Lastly, use a Netherworld scholar for the Netherworld opinions.

Yes, you are building alot of this entry around my places, people, tribes and myths...welcome to Caaehl'heroth! Azhira's playground of doom!  :evil:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 01 May 2010, 01:17:39
Well, yeah, this indeed isn't a simple project you've got yourself into, Valan... :D For one it is at least a masterwork, and secondly you're closely watched by Azhira, who knows the region very well... - so you need to live up to that a bit. Places entries are never easy, and here you have the chance to really make an essential entry for the North. That's why it's also important to listen to the Northern Sarvonian expert and try to elaborate what is offered to you what you could/should add. Remember, it's a masterwork ;)

I see you're feeling more at home at other entries, which is perfectly fine, but I also think there's a bit more potential in here, eh?  :cool:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 01 May 2010, 02:46:51
Valan,

Please feel free to point out any inconsistencies with my comments. If I am being unfair or harsh, please tell me. I want you to succeed. I've never had anyone develop a places entry in my area before and places tend to get more scrutiny than say a beast or plant entry. I hope you are encouraged to forge your own path. I am just trying to remain consistent with what I have already written in other entries.  :thumbup: I am not trying to write this for you nor am I trying to push you into following my vision. If you feel that I am at any point, let me know.  :heart:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 13 May 2010, 00:15:30
I started out having one issue, and then I started looking at the history tables.
I hate the history tables. So much. :crazy:

No one is sure exactly what the Battle of Osthemangar was yes? Who fought it and how or why are unknowns.  It wouldn't have been the Chosen, they're all dead at this point.

The Deep Winds Portal is created circa 9000 b.S, as is the Shadespell Gorge. The history also mentions that the Shadespell Gorge was created during the War of the Chosen. But the Battle of the Winds is supposed to have killed off the four chosen that had taken up residence in the north about a quarter of a century beforehand. They and their armies drown when the Eight Winds Bay is created. As an aside, if we know that the Battle of the Winds occured circa 9023 b.S. and that the Shadespell Gorge was created by chosen, it isn't circa 9000 b.S. since it had to have been created before or during the Battle.

The Shadespell Gorge entry suggests that Gelgath tore open the Gorge and started ripping up the White Armies or perhaps that the death of drakes during the Battle broke the fissure open with their falling corpses.

If I were to point to the Battle of Osthemangar as the single defining reason, there would still be the question of what exactly destroyed Cor'tam'angarek, whether fire, or magic or acts of gods, which I gather is sort of opposed diametrically to what we're doing here.

The Osther-Oc believe that the spirits were pissed off at the bloodshed and perversion of nature and destroyed the place, salted and burned the earth and said "Don't Come Back".

It could very well be that the elves finally pulled a Lovecraft and summoned something beyond the ken of mortals from the Netherworld that then invited it's buddies along for the ride. Or perhaps the Shadespell Gorge grew underneath the city, and the bloodshed and chaos just made it easier for the corruption of the netherworld to seep into the place.

The way it's worded at the moment, it subscribes to none of these theories allowing for any or all of them to be true.

I seem to have managed to get off topic writing this so I'll just add that current edits are in gold and that I think I've managed to cover most of the bases. The overview and the history/myth bits are still eluding me as to what to do with them.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Seeker on 14 May 2010, 02:42:42
Side note about Valan :):

I was thinking abut Valan the other day and I believe there is a strong case to be made that Valan is actually a machine or a computer and not actually human.   :grin:

1) In its short tenure here I believe it (Valan) knows more facts (both big and small) than most anybody here.
2) It doesn't understand sarcasm.  ;)
3) Its conclusions are almost always infallably accurate if not also blunt and to the point.
4) It does not come across as being young or old...it just is.
5) It already ranks 11th in the list of users who have being logged in for the most time.
6) It deserves a +1 aura for just being so dedicated (like a dedicated server). :D


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 14 May 2010, 09:59:03
Oh Miraran...

Where art thou with one of your juicy comments dripping in sarcasm? This just begs for your biting wisdom right about now... :rolleyes:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Bard Judith on 14 May 2010, 10:49:33
If so, we could make a good case for putting the Valan up for the Turing test.  I'm pretty sure most computers don't use expressions like 'pissed off' correctly, while on the other hand they generally know when to use 'its' and when to use 'it's'....

However, Seeker's arguments are most convincing, and the body of data amassed gives one to think.  Do we have any precedent for admitting non-human intelligence as a Compendium researcher? 

Why, yes, we do!  We've got Brownies, elves, dwarves, Azhira, and even the odd orc (and Ava knows Tharoc is as odd as they come) on the staff so far...why not a computing dweomer?


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 14 May 2010, 12:00:50
Do we have any precedent for admitting non-human intelligence as a Compendium researcher? 

Why, yes, we do!  We've got Brownies, elves, dwarves, Azhira, and even the odd orc (and Ava knows Tharoc is as odd as they come) on the staff so far...why not a computing dweomer?


Wait...

Did you just insult me?

Non-human, maybe. But intelligent?? That hurts.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 14 May 2010, 12:13:28
Quote
I seem to have managed to get off topic writing this so I'll just add that current edits are in gold and that I think I've managed to cover most of the bases. The overview and the history/myth bits are still eluding me as to what to do with them.

Valan, we need to work through some of these issues. Its obvious the history I laid out in the Shadespell is inconsistent. The only way to get this right is if I help sort this out.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 14 May 2010, 14:11:44
Agreed.

I seem to start writing these posts and turning on the "purge" switch, so forgive me if I'm being verbose or otherwise incoherent.

At the moment, the timeline I've got in my head is this. Some of it is meta, some of it is framing pulled straight from the history tables and some is adjusted

ca. 9600 b.S. to 9500 b.S.    The Rise of Eckra the Cruel
A powerful Archmage known as Eckra the Cruel builds Tak'Dinal Keep in the region which should later be known as the Forbidden Zone. Eckra slowly expands his domain until he is the sole master of the peninsula he is in. No mention of the Dinali here.

ca. 9600 b.S. to 9500 b.S Dinali offshoot arrives on Aden.
Maybe they weren't quite as tough as the rest, maybe they weren't entirely crazy, whatever happened, this bunch show up on Aden.

c.a 9400 b.S Cor'tam'angarek is constructed
The orcs run into the... hmm. I don't know what to call this bunch. Let's call them the Adenites for now. The orcs run into the Adenites about a century after they show up. They've colonized north of the mountains of Caith at this point, and the orcs don't like this. They build their fortress/city.

c.a 9200 b.S.-5000 b.S. Dark Elves conquer Cor'tam'angarek

And here is where it falls down. The Dark Elves have to take over at some point but they've got 4000 some odd years to do it.

ca. 9500 b.S. to 9000 b.S The War of the Chosen
'Nuff said.

ca. 9450 b.S.       The War of the Chosen
The humans in the Stone Fields of Peat and the Icelands are forced to enter the War of the Chosen as mercenaries for the sorcerers. They are used in battles and magic experiments as expendable material and they prove to be hardy yet undisciplined warriors. This is sort of unrelated. But the idea has been running through my head that genetically, at some point, the Dinali were Ice Tribes stock. Eckra got on board with this plan before the other Chosen in the north did, and had longer to muck around with his slaves until he had a bunch of fearsome barbarians to work with.


ca. 9023 b.S.       The Battle of the Winds
A great battle between the four most powerful archmages in Northern Sarvonia takes place at this time. It ends with the unleashing of incredible forces that rip the land apart and create what is now know as the Eight Winds Bay. It is also said that the archmages and their armies are destroyed when the sea rushes in to fill the gaping wound they made in the earth.
Art assumes this is between Coulande, Dra'va'ensele, Eckra and Yairock, though the thread mentions only three, but Coulande and Dra'va'ensele merged their forces to fight Eckra so do they count as two or one? Not strictly important. They all die here.


ca. 9023 b.S. to 9000 b.S.    
Years of Cleansing
With the death of the archmages at the Battle of Winds, this makes it much easier for the combined races to throw off their shackles of servitude and cleanse the land of the remaining acolytes of human magic, and the last armies of the archmages. These years are marked by the use of elven Xeuá magic, to heal the wounds the archmages created.
And that's it confirmed. The survivors mop up the mess, declare Tak'Dinal the Forbidden Zone and go on their merry ways.


ca. 9000 b.S.     
The Dragon Survivors of the War of the Chosen Move On
According to currently known lore, the dragons that survived the War of the Chosen move off to live in far away lands to settle after the conflict. Myths tell that some dragons came to live high in the North.
This is handy. So the War of the Chosen is finished, according to this, circa 9000 b.S. A nice little book-end to all this.

The Elven Empire of Fá'áv'cál'âr Falls
According to elven myth, the elven empire of Fá'áv'cál'âr falls when the gods destroy it utterly. During this time, it is said that rebellious dark elves migrate north into Caael'heroth where they can worship Coór.I pulled this from the history tables. Apparently it's from the Mists entry. The fall of Fa'va'cal'ar is supposed to be mythic isn't it. The diaspora of the various races and tribes is supposed to be a direct result of this. Fa'av'cal'ar has no history table, which probably means this would have happened ridiculously long ago.


The Shadespell Gorge is Born
It is generally believed that the Shadespell Gorge is created during the War of the Chosen. Unknown forces, perhaps a battle or a summoning gone wrong, open the crack in the earth that allow the Netherworld's presence to burst forth.
So this is one of the cracks. If all of the chosen are dead and the War is over, this is misplaced. Looking over here (http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,13720) is a lovely bit of fact-finding by Artimidor. For this, he is presently my hero. According to this topic, not all of the Chosen would have died during the battle of the Winds, but it sounds likely that they were extinguished sometime between then and around 9000 b.S. So I was sort of wrong and this isn't completely wrong, but it's a crack in the windshield and we might as well fix it now, before it gets bigger.

Where it gets interesting is here. There's a fellow mentioned by the name of Yairock. It's assumed he's Dark/Evil and he's listed as "Archmage of the North". Mihran the Just apparently rules of the East, Coulande over the South and Dra'va'ensele over the west. Eckra rules from the Peninsula of Kr'ull, across the Plains of Rilla, likely to about the Imlith mountains in the west, the base of the Themed'lon to the north, and a wee bit of territory to the south, not including the Marshes or the Prominents. Note, this is just a guess. It says he rules a fairly large area that includes Kr'ull and what is now the Eight Winds Bay.

That would leave Mihran, who is Kanapan friendly, with the land from the Gulf of Glandor, not including the Stone Fields of Peat, across to just shy of the Imliths and everything south of that line.

It would make sense then for Dra'va'ensele to rule over the spit of land west of the the prominents. He's supposed to be half-elven and Injerin.

Coulande... well I've sort of carved up most of the region, so perhaps Mihran rules a little further to the North and less so to the west, which would put everything in the middle that isn't already covered except the Water Marshes in his hands.

That leaves us with Yairock, and a whole slice of land that includes Eph'denn and pretty much anything north and west of it. It's separated from the rest by the Sea of Tears and there's really nowhere else to put him unless it's with the Ice Tribes. But that doesn't make much sense. From what I get, they weren't ruled over directly by any one Chosen, but rather they happened to live in a region that a bunch of Chosen were fighting over but didn't have any Chosen of their own. Unluckily for them.


The Deep Winds Portal is Built
Accounts are few and much of the origins of the tower is steeped in myth, but it is generally believed by some scholars that the tower of Osthemangar was built sometime after Fá'áv'cál'âr was destroyed and the elves moved north. The exact nature of the construction is not known, but some believe that dark dwarves had a hand in it. Most likely, the portal was built as a means for the dark god Coór to enter the world of Caelereth, bringing forth his dark armies with him.

The Mists is believed to have come about at this time also. Once the portal was opened, the Netherworld atmosphere seeped into the world corrupting it.

This works fine. If everything is still a shambles after the War of the Chosen, very few groups could stop whoever did this and no one would really care enough to. There's still probably a few relatively potent magi floating around from the War, so one of them might have had a hand in this.

However, we then run into the problem of the Battle of Osthemangar. We have no idea who is doing what here, and 500 years sounds like a very long time for the orcs to be fighting the adenites. It would also mean that the Dark Elves took over Cort'Mangar during the War of the Chosen. What would keep Yairock from taking a look over there. Well hey! The Shadespell Gorge sounds like a good idea. It's supposed to have opened up during the War. So someone does something incredibly, colossally bad. They tear open the Shadespell. Let's assume this is Yairock. He wants nothing to do with the place, and so he moves himself away from the western area of Caael'heroth, and starts encroaching on the territory of Eckra, which would set the stage nicely for the Battle of the Winds.


ca. 5000 b.S.   
Cort'Mangar is destroyed during the Battle of Osthemangar
The Battle of Osthemangar rages for many days over most of the northern reaches of Caaehl'heroth. Cort'Mangar's defenders fall to a siege that lasts over several weeks. As the dead lay in the thousands among the fresh ruins, the influence of the Netherworld presence along the chasm somehow infects the bodies. Over time, Cort'Mangar becomes a city of shadow.
We'll assume the Battle of Osthemangar is huge. Because Cort'Mangar is a very long way away from Osthemangar. And there's a giant evil blighted chasm in the way now. That leaves the question, who is fighting it? Also, this is now five thousand years, give or take, after the city/fortress was constructed. I realize elves are long lived, but this seems too far off and it makes it disjointed as compared to the rest of the history which, cracks aside, all fits together rather well.

This has taken maybe an hour to put together and it's not quite coherent or at all organized.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Bard Judith on 14 May 2010, 14:22:20
A 'purge' switch, hmmmm?   Ahah!  More evidence for the 'Valan-is-a-computer' theory!

Here in South Korea they are labeled 'reset' buttons, though....


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 25 May 2010, 07:24:01
Valan-Bot,

I think you are about ready here. Just need to integrate the stuff from the revised history tables (if you like what we came up with). You can use the new tables in this entry, and I'll use it for Shadespell. I think its about time we get this wrapped up and make you a member.  :D


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 26 May 2010, 04:20:12
Well, that sounds jolly good! :D - The history thing was definitely the main problem here, but actually getting stuck a bit with this entry helped us to get these dates right, so something good comes from that as well! Just make sure that the version of the history stuff fits to the one defined in the other thread, and the proposal on how to handle it seems quite elegant to me :)

BTW: If you use events exactly as they are defined in the other thread, please mark that in this entry here, so that I don't integrate event twice!

Anyway, so once you're done with the fine-tuning just mark the entry for integration, and well, prepare your membership details! :thumbup:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 31 May 2010, 11:23:57
I've transplanted the some of the history from the discussion thread wholesale. it is in green


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 01 June 2010, 02:04:49
So anything else that's still not done yet, Valan? As once the History is up to date and Azhira is ok with these changes, we can finally conclude this one, I'd say.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 01 June 2010, 05:43:39
I think the overview section still needed work before we got into all of that business with the history.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 01 June 2010, 10:26:45
Here is an idea for a possible overview that accounts for the new history. Feel free to use ideas from it, or make your own.

"The ancient ruins of Cort'Mangar stand broken and long-forgotten in the desolate wastes of the peninsula of Caaehl'heroth, west of the infamous Deep Winds Portal. According to orcen and dark elven lore, the fortress city was a powerful bastion of might and only recently has some sages concluded that it was perhaps one of the largest strongholds in all of Northern Sarvonia during the Era of Harmony. The city stood as a defense against the barbaric armies of the ancient Dinali human tribes of Aden and withstood the devastation of the War of the Chosen. After standing strong for over 2600 years, Cort'Mangar crumbled when the very foundation of the region shook as the darkness of the Netherworld spilled into Caelereth forming the Shadespell Gorge, which was just a few strals from the fortress city. Cort'mangar and all of its inhabitants perished within a few blinks, it is told, with never a warning. Scholars describe the city today as being cursed with Netherworld taint forever trapped in seething darkness and despair."


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 04 June 2010, 01:56:48
Overview in Blue. Here's hoping I can finally get this monolithic masterwork monkey off my back.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 04 June 2010, 03:32:18
There's some more essential stuff in Azhira's suggestion - can you get some of that in the final version, Valan? As some things should definitely be in there. And I'd say then we mark it for integration.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 04 June 2010, 04:12:47
Agreed! :clap: This is ready to go up. Congrats Valan!  :hug:

Get your member page ready for Arti! You and Shaba can have a member party together.  :pet:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on 04 June 2010, 04:18:56
Yay! Valan Bot gets to be a member! :pet:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: M´ruk Loshashzuck on 04 June 2010, 08:17:35
Congratulations Valan!


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 04 June 2010, 08:35:29
Edits in orange


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 04 June 2010, 09:26:55
Edits in orange

Your enthusiasm is palpable. Simply too much for me to take. Your impending membership is that dreadful, hrm?  :P

Oh yes. Bots are emotionless. Except those with an emotion chip, of course. But those are rare.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Agran Velion on 04 June 2010, 09:35:46
Congratulations Valan!

And I believe a bot with a emotion chip is referred to as an andriod (or in my eyes it is at least).


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 04 June 2010, 10:21:21
No, strictly speaking an android refers to a robot that exhibits human (specifically male) form.
Data is an android, regardless of possessing emotions, while say... Wall-E is not.


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Seeker on 04 June 2010, 10:31:14
Even though I have not commented much I have been admiring your work here.   :clap2:  Well done my friend.  Not only on this but all the contributions you have made since you joined.  Aura +1 from me.

Must get some travel plans ready, I wonder where we are going to hold your party.  :)


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on 04 June 2010, 11:33:03
Thanks for reminding me of the alterations I need to make to my organizer Seeker!


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on 04 June 2010, 11:38:13
No, strictly speaking an android refers to a robot that exhibits human (specifically male) form.
Data is an android, regardless of possessing emotions, while say... Wall-E is not.

Even in TNG there were some exceptions to this ...

- Lal, Data's 'daughter' chose a 'female' form.
- The wife of Data's, and Lore's and B4's creator was recreated as an android ... which was discovered by Data during an adventure. She also had a 'female' form.

Androids can therefore be in male or female form, regardless of what Valan-Bot says :)

Also ... Data did eventually get emotions ... :D


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 05 June 2010, 23:04:29
Okeydokey, will be up this update - so next thing I need from you is your team page stuff, Valan! Just put together what you want to have on it and send it over! :D

And then I guess we'll have an inauguration party, together with Shab... - And we're still waiting for Dek to get around to finishing his!  :cool:


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on 06 June 2010, 00:19:20
I'll get around to it one of these centuries


Title: Re: Cort'Mangar- Masterwork
Post by: Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang on 06 June 2010, 03:49:55
Quote
Okeydokey, will be up this update


Wahey! Congratulations, Valan!