Santharian Development

I told Arti I'd write him a sestina for the site, because I think it's teh only traditional form in which I haven't composed anything for Santharia. So I wrote one.

This was extremely difficult to write, and even though I've finished it, I'm extremely displeased with it. There are some parts that flow nicely, but others which need a lot of work. My greatest fear is that I'll have to change one of my end-words, and compose the whole poem again. This end is more likely that I'd like it to be.

For those who aren't familiar with the sestina, it is (I think) an italian poetry style. It is one of the most difficult types of poetry to compose, and only the most skilled writers could do it effectively. It involves choosing 6 end-words and using them in varying order in each of the six-line stanzas, then all of the words in the last three lines (called the envoi).

The inspiration for this sestina came from another that employed the echo element, though the intentions of the speaker were a little more duplicitous. Also, in the sestina I wrote (being the masochist I am) I composed it in the meter of the ballad.

Maybe some of the other poets could help me work this poem a bit?

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O Echo

O Echo, tell me how to make
this maiden elf my lover.
…love her
What shall I give to woo her heart
to love me evermore?
…more
But how much more before I cause
her tender heart to fall?
…all
This I shall do, but will her heart
still love me in forever?
…ever
What shall I do to woo my love
when I go to behold her?
…hold her
And if she proudly turns away
and heartache bids me cry?
…cry

If fear should seize my love and Nehtor
bids her then to cry?
…cry
I wish to calm her fears and show
I love no one above her
…love her
How might I comfort her, ensure
her warm heart grows not colder?
…hold her
How will she love me if I stay
to hold her evermore?
…more
And if I’m always by her side
to cherish her forever?
…ever
What of her heart my I receive
by coming to her call?
…all

How much to lose if patience in
the course of time grows small?
…all
O, surely, for my broken heart,
I’d curse my fate and cry!
…cry!
How long should I beweep my state
if then she loved me never?
…ever
I need her by my side as friend,
companion and as lover.
…love her
How much need I to cherish her
to doubt me nevermore?
…more
So when I go to cherish her,
to love her and behold her?
…hold her

And how might I prove to my love
I’m not a stone-heart soldier?
…hold her
I’m nervous, though—what could I lose
if I should briefly stall?
…all
Apart from me, in courting, tell
me are there anymore?
…more
Alas! If I should lose her favor
I should moan and cry!
…cry
How may I prove to her that I’m
a far more faithful lover?
…love her
And should I promise her that I
will love her to forever?
…ever

Will she be faithful if my life
cold Queprur were to sever?
…ever
What shall I do when all my heart
I finally have told her?
…hold her
My only wish, my one desire
is to become her lover!
…love her!
Yet would he rheart be gained by always
standing by her tall?
…all
I’d die before I’d leave her side,
before I’d make her cry.
…cry
Yet, if by accident I did,
I’d grieve forevermore
…more

Oh no—unless…what could I give
so she might weep no more?
…more
I’d give my life, and hold that I
will love her to forver.
…ever
And do you know what I would do
if I did make her cry?
…cry
Yes! After all the tears, when all
my promises I’ve told her?
…hold her
You know what I would give to her
to make her soft heart fall?
…all
And yet, the most important act
I shall do for my lover…
…love her

I’ll give her all, and hold her, cry
should she cry, cherish more and love
forever. Thank you, friend. Goodbye.
…bye