Mira, this is a great entry you have here, I could hardly find points to nag about No really, a great basis for the rest of the entry.
In your notes you speak of the size of these birds, but in the appearance section you do not mention how big these birds actually are; you reference to other birds, but could you add the size to the appearance as well?
And the nest, how do I picture this, is it one gigantic nest in the central tree where they all nest? or are there multiple smaller nests? if there is only one, do they all help constructing it?
About that family-group, what is counted as family? is it only the male, female and younglings? or is there some greater family?
Well, apart from these little questions, I find your text very good; thought out and well-written, bravo
...I am very sorry, it is indeed Tharian, My not yet fully awake mind is getting me to work for my pay
About the styrash name, as the wasp would be found in regions in which elves live (right?), they would have given the beast a styrash name, no? It is for such a reason that it might be good to add the elven name, but not to use it too often in the entry.
The styrash name is great, but I doesn't have to be used all the time... You can still use the Thelian name "sarvonian wasp", so you can switch these terms a bit in the entry itself, sometimes beginning a paragraph with the styrash term, and in later sentences refering just to the Wasp or Sarvonian Wasp. It makes it all just a bit more readible. Linen'ýhtreán (Small Poison) or Sarvonian Wasp
The Sarvonian Wasp ( maybe you could check out what a wasp would be called in Styrash, somewhere along the line of sháti'yil (flying spear)? )
Overview: The Sarvonian Wasp is of an average size for an insect. It is very well known for its distinct coloring and painful sting. It is on the largest, usually in queens, the size of a palmspan.(this sentence is a bit strange, maybe formulate it differently: "the largest examples of the Sarvonian wasp, usually the queens, can grow up to one palmspan") These unwelcome insects will dig into walls and cause serious damage to wooden buildings, even, in the worst cases, causing them to collapse. They are also known to kill with their sting when provoked into swarming.
Appearance: The Sarvonian Wasp has a length that varies from, the largest queens at a palmspan, to the worker drones, at about 2 and a half nailsbreaths. (could you formulate this differently? I do not quite catch your meaning) The wingspan is usually around 2 nailsbreath on each wing. The wasps weigh less than a mut, although the researcher, Almun Greyeyes reports here about one which was much bigger:
Journal Entry: Today, a swarm of wasps attacked some of the maids in their quarters. They looked the same as the ordinary Sarvonian Wasp, but were much larger. I do not know what caused this engorgement in the insect's size but it was peculiar. Right know I have the largest of the specimens of the swarm. Guardsmen and Knights had been called in to exterminate the dangerous insects. A Ximaxian Fire mage eventually burned the wasp's nest and killed them.
The specimen that I have in front of me is of an enlarged size. It is about two palmspans long, with wings of one palmspan. The weight is the most enormous difference. This insect weighs about five times that of the ordinary wasp, at a half-od. I believe that the venom sac is overlarge, as the thorax is slightly swollen. If any more wasps of this size are noted in swarms, I intend to have the species obliterated to the farthest extent.
Could you specify the report? Where was this? Who is this Almun Greyeyes? Write something about him, or create another paragraph: RESEARCHER and then elaborate on the man. Is he the main reason whe know so much about the wasps? was he important in discovering them?
Luckily for the Sarvonian Wasp, this never needed to be done. Wasps of that extreme size were never seen again. We do not know if that was a mistake in the plans of the divine gods, or lying on Almun Greyeyes'es part. We do know that the wasps are colored in stripes of a light tan and very dark blue. (this is a strange leap of subject, you should better create a new line: "The colouring of the Sarvonian Wasp are stripes in light tan and very dark blue, this probably to repell possible predators, etc." Elaborate a bit, why these colours? are they effective?)
Special Abilities/Things to note: The wasps are rather poisonous, and sting in using the thorax. the stings will swell for many days, and are rather painful and itchy. ( could you elaborate on this? Are there ways to repell the wasps? certain herbs to heal the stings?)
Territory: Sarvonian Wasps live in Southern to middle Sarvonia. They will live in anything wooden, from trees to houses. They will live as far north as fairly warm climates go. They hole themselves into their nest in the winter, and wait until spring, during which they look for a new wooden place for a nest for the following year.
Habitat/Behavior: If you happen to see any Sarvonian Wasps, they will be either in their nest, building and putting aside the wood pulp for food, fighting other wasps and insects, or swarming because you have disturbed them. If the swarm, prepare to flee, for they can be very dangerous. They will fight other colonies for territory, and a victorious wasp swarm will take over the enemy, until a single queen can have up to 3 or more nests under her rule. Swarms of up to and over 500 wasps have been risen, and when they migrate to a new home, if they attempt to turn a single place into one nest, it usually collapses from the weight or from being weakened by being hollowed out.
Diet: Sarvonian Wasps only eat wood pulp, and occasionally nectar, which is given to the young. The wood pulp is obtaned from the nest, and that is why the wasps build a new nest every year.
Mating: When a strong male wasp wants to attempt to mate the queen, he first must chase her in flight. If he catches her, the two mate, and slowly the tired and worn-out queen eats the male to regain her strength. She mates as often as a male wants to try, but she will always eat the male, because she is weakened from the flight.
Great Entry Mahvalan! A very good start you have here! I posted some comments, hope you find them to some use. One overall thing though: Maybe you could fleshen the whole out a bit, add some atmosphere to it, more text every paragraph, and than you will probably soon have a good complete entry
oh, and keep checking what you have written, there were some tiny typo's in the text, easily removable when you read your own work a second time
Basic Overview of the Plant The Injèr’cál’merin, or just plain Lantern, is a plant commonly found in deserts. It has adapted itself to the hot and dry climate of these places, so that it is one of the most common flowers in certain deserts. The Lantern has a close relation to the Purple Lantern, or arryi, which lives only in certain unique climates. Whereas the Purple Lantern is a rarity, the common Lantern is one of those plants which does not attract too much attention by travellers. It has never been regarded as one of the most beautiful plants, but a poet named Frigor the Weird once composed a poem about it. Until this very day travellers still laugh about that poem, since it shows exactly what the plant does; it makes things look more beautiful, and Frigor certainly experienced that while writing his poem.
Description The Injèr’cál’merin grows to about one ped tall, its size depending on the conditions it’s living in. Because the Lantern uses the scant moisture of the desert, it will grow taller when situated near a watersource and smaller when in the midst of a patch of dry land. The Lantern looks like a small patch of grass with some longer stems protruding from it. These stems are full of smaller branches which make the plant look bigger than it really is. These smaller branches are the main source of water for the Lantern, as they use their own drought to suck moisture in from the air around them. Unlike its cousin, the purple lantern, the Injèr’cál’merin does not have very long roots, so in times of extreme frost there is a great chance that the plant will perish. This however is often countered by the fact that the seeds from the Lantern do usually survive the freezing winter, so that in springtime, these seeds can flourish and become new Lanterns. From about a half ped up, small flowers hang from the stem; they exist of three or four petals, with curled edges, resembling lanterns. (For a proper idea how it looks like, look at the picture from the arryi) The petals seem to be made of parchment, bleak and frail. This in account of the drought they have to endure, these petals do not rely too much on moisture. One Lantern usually has about ten to twenty flowers, and they are seen through most of the year, except in winter, when the plant resembles a skeleton more than a plant because all the flowers are gone and the only thing remaining are the stems. (Unlike it’s cousin the purple lantern, which flowers have the ability to survive the extreme frost) The plant blooms in spring, when there is the most moisture in the air, it then sucks up as much water as it can, so that it might survive the following dry summer, autumn and winter. This is why the plant seems completely dry all through the summer, because it is surviving almost solely on water it had amassed during the spring. When it has had too little moisture, its flowers wither and fall to the warm desert sand.
Territory As mentioned before, the Lantern is a true desertflower, so it will be encountered in almost every desert in our world. It has been sighted at the Ráhaz’Dath desert in southern Sarvonia, but is also known to grow near the stone fields of Peat. Almost everywhere where drought is a normal occurrence one can encounter this plant. It has been tried to transfer the plant to a more normal climate, but then a strange thing happens: the plant starts gathering moisture, but when no drought is encountered, it bursts its stems, the whole plant seems to crack and burst, and soon the plant will lie lifelessly on the ground.
Usages The Injèr’cál’merin is one of those plants not known for any beneficial attributes, but it does have its uses. The petals of the flowers are a treat for the tongue and when chewed relieve the mind somewhat. The person who ate it will feel a bit light-headed for the next couple of hours, in which everything appears nicer and better than it would otherwise seem to be. We have reason to assume that the poet who wrote the complimentary poem about this plant had at least consumed two whole plants to get to the state of mind he was in.
Myth/Lore/Origins As mentioned before, the Lantern is not a very remarkable plant, a bit ugly actually, certainly not appeasing to the eye, and certainly not the stuff of legends. There is however one thing very unusual about this plant, namely, the poem “Petals of a Lantern” by the poet Frigor the Weird. It seems that the poet had become enamoured by the plant and he devoted an entire poem to it. It was only after the “usage” of the plant was discovered that the poem began to make any sense. The poem itself is not one fit for legends as its metrical form is completely inconsistent. This however shows in full colours the effect that this plant can have on even the best poet:
Petals of a Lantern
A myriad of colour Informs the perfect shape; A hundred blending hues to form A lovely woven cape.
The beauty of the light, It’s holding me in awe; It is the thing I love the most; Amazing what I saw.
As touched by holy rain, The petals are so bright; I can’t believe my eyes no more, I’m crippled by its might.
Lost in that one view, Begone is woe, despair. A ray of sun in darkening times, This flower oh so fair.