Melóráel

Miraran Tehuriden

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #15 on: 05 August 2006, 20:50:38 »

And please relocate the Telepathy section to the Special Abilities part, to ensure continuity in our entries.


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #16 on: 06 August 2006, 03:46:15 »

Sorry bout that I thought that that would fall into the ANYTHING ELSE part of the beast template all right just moved it.


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #17 on: 07 August 2006, 01:10:20 »

So any more comments Im open to any more suggestions


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Smith in Exile

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #18 on: 07 August 2006, 05:40:06 »

Quote

The Melóráel have the amazing ability to learn and comprehend the native tounge of the people they are around. And they communicate back to the people the same way they talk to each other.

This is unnecessary and it complicates things way too much. They can be trained and they can transmit emotions and images - it should be enough. Also maybe you can add that they can be trained just by some Coor'rhem - who, through some training process or something, are able to understand these animals and transmit images and feelings at their turn.

PS: about the spelling - both versions are right, and they are both used on the website. So it doesn't matter which one you prefer, just be consistent throughout your entry.


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #19 on: 07 August 2006, 05:53:29 »

All right hows that (its in blue) under usage


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Smith in Exile

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #20 on: 07 August 2006, 06:22:50 »

it's ok with me now


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #21 on: 07 August 2006, 10:54:11 »

so what next does it have to go through another Mod and the an Admin like the CDs or what?


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xerampelinae deicida

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #22 on: 07 August 2006, 14:20:36 »

Hows the night vision on this animal?
If its real good the elves could aim their bows based on tellepathy in the middle of a moonless night.

They could help cause a great deal of chaos in the enemy ranks by tellepathicly communicating where people are so they can be shoot in their camp from long distance.


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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #23 on: 07 August 2006, 19:04:21 »

Coorhem use swords Xera, not bows.

Decipher


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #24 on: 08 August 2006, 13:23:47 »

Actually Decipher the Coor'rhem use bows not only in hunting but the will use poison arrows to kill a target at great length.


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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #25 on: 08 August 2006, 23:29:31 »

My bad


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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #26 on: 09 August 2006, 06:07:10 »

No problem man

Oh and what else do I need to do? Or is it good?


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Smith in Exile

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #27 on: 09 August 2006, 17:09:34 »

Arti needs to integrate this. Don't worry about it.


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #28 on: 24 August 2006, 04:13:55 »

Ok, I'm here finally to comment a bit as well:

- Spelling: We basically use British English as it looks more medieval, so we usually have "ou" instead of "o" in "colour" etc. I usually try to fix these things in this direction when I put stuff on the site. It is recommended to use the British English whenever possible.

- You have a bunch of "Its’ " throughout the text, a form which to my knowledge doesn't exist, it's just "its tail" and whenever you want say it is you can used "it's". But that's about it.

- A bunch of other misspellings can be found as well, like "king of surface" (*hehe*), " It is able to this", "only have gaurd" etc.

- On the whole telepathy thingy: Well, considering that it really works that way, how could human researchers ever know about it? Like you say "when one Melóráel sees danger it alerts the others by sending mental pictures allowing the others to see the approaching" or "The Melóráel can not only send mental images to each other with a mere thought but they can also send emtional sesation that can be felt by the recipient." - A researcher could never confirm the absolute truth of such sentences, only suggest something like that. It would be more a thing people tell stories about or have superstitions in this regard, a local belief. And that's also the way I would write about it here. That people rumour that this could be so, that they think of them to be pets from the Gods or something with all these special abilities etc. The word "telepathy" could be used by today's scholars to explain this phenomenon, but I wouldn't use it for basic observations. Something like that - at the moment this part doesn't seem to work. You could describe certain experiments in a Researcher section or something.

Maybe even a secondary name could originate from this unqiue ability?

- The Latinised form "Praesidium" sounds quite strange for a beast's name, doesn't it?

- At the end you say "The Melóráel will use their telepathy to inform the Coór'hém of rival clan activity." Well, how far would such a telephatical contact reach? Is it supposed to be focussed from beast to beast or is it basically a community thingy, probably only triggered by certain events, more unconscious than explicitly intended?

All in all: A nice work for a first entry, Navar - needs a bit of tweaking here and there from my point of view, so with a bit of additional work it should be integratable soon! grin


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Navar The Rogue Assassin

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Re: Melóráel

« Reply #29 on: 24 August 2006, 09:41:32 »

Arti I don't quite have the time to fix every thing promptly but ill get to bits and pieces when I can (sorry school work church you know how its is) but I should be done in less than a week

Oh I can deal with the telepathy know, the only way that it is know that they can use telepathe is because they have used it on people before such as the Coór'hém,

Oh and the Latin thing O.O you have been the only person I know (and I know alot) to pick up on that, some times when I cant think of a name Ill go to my Latin Dictionary, but its not a name persay but more of a title, like a worker ant or a soldier ant, wow Im still amazed that you pick up on it.....how?

Ill get to the rest later sorry I cant do it now but Ill do my best to get it done quickly


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Melóráel