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« on: 07 December 2006, 21:24:25 »

Kreeswind

First revision, Done


Introduction/Overview
This small hamlet is situated in the western part of the Santharian province Manthria on the continent of Sarvonia. Looking out over the Gulf of Maraya and with the Auturian Woods behind it, it’s easily overlooked.
What makes Kreeswind special is the boats that are produced here: Some of the finest fishing boats on this side of the continent for shallow waters are crafted in Kreeswind . About 300 200 souls have their home built here.

Description
Kreeswind has quite a reputation in this region. Unfortunately, it's not a good one. Built on a burnt down site of a strange cult and burdened by a curse, the village doesn't appeal to travellers. Staying here overnight is something only few people decide on, while most just want to keep moving. Half empty warehouses and ghostly white houses give this village a bit of a ghost town appearance. This area also has quite a few hermits and - so it is said - madmen.

The village is actually split in two by a stream. The north side is the “original” Kreeswind and contains a few wharves and some houses where the boating families live.
Originally a fishing village, the wharf’s purpose has changed. Instead of offloading fish it is now used to dock boats that are being built. Next to the wharves are the houses: White, relatively small and made of wood. The boat building is a family business so one house contains a whole family.
When the first five families came here, they found old worn down houses. They used that wood, complimented with what they bought in Ravenport.

There is a reason why Kreeswind switched from fishing to boat building: There are no more fish. Now this might seem odd. It is. In the month Jeystar in 1526 a.S. Over the course of two days all the fish left. It is part of the Kreeswind curse, where an elven female cursed the village. This event almost meant the end for the village. The Elves of Quetin felt obligated and helped the village by supplying some wood. This wood was then used to build a few ships.


The south side was added later when there was a need for trade goods storage. Warehouses nowadays stand neatly in line, with a row of stores and merchant houses a little ways off. It is obvious that this part was built with a purpose.
First there was trade with Ravenport and Saloh to sell the boats. Then the monastery of Malise islets and later an agreement was made with the Elves of Quetin.
The monastery supplies high quality Y'rom honey and the alchemical monks there are a source of knowledge about this region and guardians of a small shrine of Baveras, attracting a few clerics and monks.
One small merchant set up trade in Kies flower retrieved from the woods.
Since the Kies flower only grows in the forests surrounding the Gulf or maraya it's very expensive and is used for its vitamin rich fruits.
The occasional merchant coming from Ravenport and Saloh brought in more trade opportunities.


For merchants and travellers that had business in the area, there is a small inn called “The Lost Mate”. The innkeeper used to be a fisherman and on one of his voyages his ship got into a storm. In that storm he lost one of his shipmates. He vowed never to set foot on a ship again and started the inn. Containing only three rooms it has a real family type feel to it.

Although Kreeswind is one village on the map, there really isn’t much that binds the two parts together. There is very little contact between the two groups: Boaters and traders.
The boaters get lumber and necessary supplies from the traders and give them boats in return. That is the only real contact. The traders sell these boats, along with y’rom honey from the monastery, Kies flower and overseas supplies. It is suspected (but investigating that is discouraged) that some of the merchants deal in other things as well. Scows arriving at odd hours in the night and loads being carried into the warehouses under torchlight…and the next morning the goods are no longer there.

Location
Kreeswind lies on the west coast of the Santharian province Manthria on the continent of Sarvonia.
It is located at the coast of the Gulf of Maraya, near the Malise Islets and has the Auturian Woods behind it. To the south you will find Ravenport and to the north is Rhenos castle, part of the legend of The Four Brothers.
There are rumours that Kreeswind is built upon an old town that was destroyed long ago. Apparently being the site of some sort of horrible cult, people didn’t want to come here.

People
Since not many people wander into this region without specific business, the people of Kreeswind are pretty much to themselves. Only the merchants are a bit more outgoing, but only enough to sell their goods.
There are many travellers using the Auturian trail of course, that’s good for business, but as soon as people hear about the curse however, they are in a hurry all of a sudden.

The 300 people living here can be split into a few groups. The majority of the people build boats or are employed in related industries like making ropes and sails and cutting trees.
Then there are the merchants selling goods traded with Quetin and the monastery of the Malise Islets.

The majority of Kreeswind  is human, and there is not much room for any other races. Since everyone is very much to himself, an outsider will not be greeted warmly.
Not that the people here are rude; just not interested.

In the area surrounding the village there is also a high concentration of hermits, with varying degrees of sanity.

The people of Kreeswind pretty much keep to themselves. They watch Lorehaven with great interest, seeing as it has a boating industry of its own. But then again, Kreeswind boats are made for a special purpose: Shallow water fishing.


Coat of Arms
Having only 300 people it doesn’t really have its own coat of arms. However, the most influential man in town does have one and slowly but surely this is starting to be adopted as the town’s own. It consists of a dark blue background depicting the sea, and a scow with reefed sails. Obviously this belongs to a merchant.

Climate
The summers are cooled from the breezes from the Gulf of Maraya, but are still reasonably warm. The winters are short and mild. Rain is very common here, since it rains more than half of the year. 

Mythology
There is not real mythical reason why this village was founded here, since it is so young, but more a geological one: The stream provides fresh water, the sea provided fish, the forest provides trees and the countryside provides some other goods like Kies flower.

Flora
The flora here is very diverse.  On the one hand is the flora from the Auturian woods that, on the other hand the coastal flora, like y’rom.

Fauna
The fauna here is mostly insects and any stray animals that come from the Auturian woods.

Resources
Trees from the forest, used for the boats
The Kies flower for trade
Y’rom honey from the monastery

Myth/Lore
When the first families arrived at the location where Kreeswind is founded, they found remnants of some old houses. It is said that a strange cult housed here, but where they went no one knows.
And then there is the curse. A young man and an Elven female fell in love. Neither Humans nor Elves approved. The young man was punished by his family. He died.
The Elven female cursed the town for taking away her loved one. From that day on there would be no more fishes near Kreeswind. It is said that the soul of the young man still wanders the village and every time he passes through a wall he makes it a bit whiter.


History
1501 a.S. : Founding by five fishing families
1516 a.S. : Ten families now live here, boat building is starting, since the old boats no longer suffice.
1524 a.S. : A merchant from Ravenport buys a boat. When he came to Kreeswind and saw the magnificent boats at the wharves he knew there would be a market for them. Especially for the shallow waters found around islands on the west coast like Malise and Songgrass.
1526 a.S. : The Kreeswind curse
1527 a.S. : The main focus of Kreeswind shifts from fishing to building boats
1531 a.S. : A small group of merchants settles here to take up trade with the monastery of Malise Islets
1550 a.S. : Trade with Quetin starts
1551 a.S. : 200 people now live in Kreeswind


« Last Edit: 15 December 2006, 20:46:40 by Wanderer » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: 07 December 2006, 23:22:50 »


Hello, what about a few comments?


Kreeswind

Introduction/Overview
This small hamlet is situated in the province Manthria on the continent of Sarvonia. Looking out over The Gulf of Maraya and with The Auturian woods behind it, it’s easily overlooked.
What makes it special is the boats they produce: Some of the finest fishing boats on this side of the continent. About 200 souls have their home built here.

I looked a bit around the map and I think we might have a problem here - with the amount of people inhabiting little villages. Nepris has not more, but I think two houses should represent a bit more than  200. Not your fault though.

Description
The village is actually split in 2 by a stream. The north side is the “original” Kreeswind and contains a few wharfs and some houses where the boating families live.
Your layout, spellchecking is so fine, why do you use then 2 instead of two?
Originally a fishing village, the wharfs’ purpose has changed. Instead of offloading fish it is ( a bit more formal for an compendium entry does not hurt, others think different though) now used to dock boats that are being built. Next to the wharfs are the houses: White, relatively small and made of wood. The boat building is a family business so 1 house contains a whole family.
White and out of wood? How?


The south side was added later when there was a need for trade goods storage. Warehouses neatly in line, with a row of stores and merchant houses a little ways off. It’s obvious that this part was built with a purpose.
Why as there a need, what kind of purpose except selling ships? 

For merchants and travellers that had business in the area, there is a small inn called “The lost mate”. Containing only 3 rooms it has a real family type feel to it.

Although Kreeswind is 1 village on the map, there really isn’t much that binds the 2 parts together. There is very little contact between the 2 groups: Boaters and traders.
You need to explain this better. What do the traders really trade? The goods the boat-builder produce? Ships? Plants? Traders normally need a lot of people to have a outcome. The honey business could probably be done by one family. Maybe they have special relations to the elves?

Location
Kreeswind lies on the west coast of Manthria, a province of the continent Sarvonia.
Between The Gulf of Maraya and The Auturian woods, close to the Malise Islets. To the south you will find Ravenport and to the north is Rhenos castle, part of the legend of The Four Brothers.

People
Since not many people wander into this region without specific business, the people of Kreeswind are pretty much to themselves. Only the merchants are a bit more outgoing, but only enough to sell their goods.
Well, I think they will see some more people, for the Auturian trail is passing the village, a main road from Ravenport to the north, maybe even to Saloh. You need to look pretty close at the map to see it. I looked for the road map which is hidden somewhere in the depth of the forum,maybe I‘ll find it later for you.

The 200 people living here can be split into a few groups. The majority of the people build boats or are employed in related industries like making ropes and sails and cutting trees.
Then there are the merchants selling goods traded with Quetin and the monastery of the Malise Islets.

The majority of Kreeswind  is human, and there is not much room for any other races. Since everyone is very much to himself, an outsider will not be greeted warmly.
Not that the people here are rude; just not interested.

Coat of Arms
Having only 200 people it doesn’t really have its own coat of arms. However, the most influential man in town does have one and slowly but surely this is starting to be adopted as the town’s own. It consists of a dark blue background depicting the sea, and a scow with reefed sails. Obviously this belongs to a merchant.

Climate
The summers are cooled from the breezes from the Gulf of Maraya, but are still reasonably warm. The winters are short and mild. Rain is very common here, since it rains more than half of the year.

Have a look at the climate in the Santharia entry and Lorehaven. Don‘t know now, if it rains half a year, it is protected from the northern winds through the lands to the northwest.

Mythology
There is not real mythical reason why this village was founded here, but more a geological one: The stream provides fresh water, the sea provided fish, the forest provides trees and the countryside provides some other goods like Kies flower.
A village so young has surely no mythical reason for its founding developed yet.

Flora
The flora here is very diverse.  On the one hand is the flora from the Auturian woods that, on the other hand the coastal flora, like y’rom.

Fauna
The fauna here is mostly insects and any stray animals that come from the Auturian woods.

Resources
Trees from the forest, used for the boats
The Kies flower for trade
Y’rom honey from the monastery
They take the trees from the Auturian wood, are there no problems with the elves?

Myth/Lore
It is believed that the eldest son of the oldest family – whose name shall not be named – brought disgrace upon himself and his family by leaving the boating business and heading into the Auturian woods. Had he gone off with a boat everything would’ve been fine, but leaving your family for something non-nautical is just not done.
When the son wanted to return he was thrown out of the village. The son cast a curse saying that no one of his family would ever be able to find fish again.
It is said that from that day forward, the fish staid away from Kreeswind.

History
1501 a.S. : Founding by 5 fishing families
1516 a.S. : 10 families now live here, boat building is starting, since the old boats no longer suffice.
1524 a.S. : A merchant from Ravenport buys a boat
why should he do this, was it cheap or especially good?
1527 a.S. : The main focus of Kreeswind shifts from fishing to building boats
1531 a.S. : A small group of merchants settles here to take up trade with the monastery of Malise Islets
1550 a.S. : Trade with Quetin starts
1551 a.S. : 200 people now live in Kreeswind

That is a nice start (don‘t be disappointed now!). Some questions which might help you to add some more flesh to it.

 - Why is this village so young? Such an ideal place was surely settled earlier.

- Why hasn‘t it grown bigger with such a good ideal place to live in?

-  What are the relations to Ravenport, the most important town in this area? Ask Gean Firefeet about his plans with Ravenport, it will have a major ship building „industry“ as well, always trying to get the say about this part of the gulf of Maraya.

- Be a bit more descriptive with what you have - houses, what do people wear (will help you with that) etc

I recommend to read the Shneerin entry from Gean (yours doesn‘t have to be this elaborate and long) or the places one Grunok did (go to her teampage..)

A promising start!

-

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« Reply #2 on: 08 December 2006, 16:36:22 »

Right, i'm updating it now. The Kreeswind curse is a legend that i will also do in a while, as well as a tale of the cult that had houses here before. i uppped the population a bit to 300, but i do think that a guideline on city sizes should be done soon :) And i did see the Auturian trail, but it didn't seem like much of a route to me :) But you're right, everyone from Ravenport would use this trail.
Maybe i'll do a little story on that as well, put in some bandits in the mix :)
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« Reply #3 on: 14 December 2006, 22:01:58 »

Now i would like some more comments. I'm not done yet, but i would like some more views :)
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« Reply #4 on: 15 December 2006, 00:03:31 »

Will check this evening, Wanderer ;) - Stay tuned!
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« Reply #5 on: 15 December 2006, 05:44:48 »

Ok, trying a detailed check here as well, dealing with the first part for today:

Legend:
yellow ... corrections
orange ... comments
grey ... unclear passages

Introduction/Overview.
This small hamlet is situated in the western part of the Santharian province Manthria on the continent of Sarvonia. Looking out over the Gulf of Maraya and with the Auturian Woods behind it, it's easily overlooked.

What makes it special is the boats they produce: Some of the finest fishing boats on this side of the continent are crafted in Kreeswind. About 300 souls have their home built here.

Description.
The village is actually split in two by a stream. The north side is the “original” Kreeswind and contains a few wharfs (my dictionary claims that "wharves" is correct...) and some houses where the boating families live.

Originally a fishing village, the wharfs’ purpose has changed. Instead of offloading fish it is now used to dock boats that are being built. Next to the wharfs are the houses: White, relatively small and made of wood. The boat building is a family business so one (Don't use appreviations like 1 or 2 here for "one house" - you won't do that in an essay at school, and neither in the Compendium. I don't correct all your other abbreviations you made that way, just keep it in mind for next time!) house contains a whole family.

When they came here, they found old worn down houses. They used that wood, complimented with what they bought in Ravenport. The Kreeswind curse turned their houses white. (That's a bunch of very unclear stuff for the reader. First it isn't really clear what you mean with "they". Then the Kreeswind curse is not mentioned until this point at all, so at least in small additional sentence it should be explained what it is and what it has to do with houses turning white.)

There is a reason why Kreeswind switched from fishing to boat building: There are no more fish. Now this might seem odd. It is. Over the course of two days all the fish left. (When? Please give approximate dates!) It’s part of the Kreeswind curse. This event almost meant the end for the village. The Elves of Quetin felt obligated and helped the village by supplying some wood. This wood was then used to build a few ships.
(Note: I see now that you try to elaborate the curse in more detail here, but you definitely need to rearrange things better. The tale itself belongs into Myth/Lore. Here a short, very basic reference would do so that the reader approximately gets the idea without learning to many details. Ideally it shouldn't be summarized in own paragraphs, but be an addition to the paragraph, where the white houses are explained., so that's why I mark the text below as gray.)

[The Kreeswind curse is a story about how a young man and an Elven girl fell in love. Neither Humans nor Elves approved. There was a conflict in which the young man died. The Elven girl cursed the village and then killed herself]

After 24 years the agreement with Quetin ended. In those 24 years the Elves of Quetin got used to trading with Kreeswind. A new deal was made, this time with the merchants.


The south side was added later when there was a need for trade goods storage. Warehouses nowadays stand neatly in line, with a row of stores and merchant houses a little ways off. It’s obvious that this part was built with a purpose.
First there was trade with Ravenport and Saloh to sell the boats. Then the monastery of Malise islets and later an agreement was made with the Elves of Quetin.
One small merchant set up trade in Kies flower retrieved from the woods. The occasional merchant coming from Ravenport and Saloh brought in more trade opportunities. (Good to see such references being made, it shows that you try to incorporate existing stuff. If things are only very sketchy on the references on certain locations on the site, feel free to add some more elaboration to it, e.g. what the monks at the Malise Islets are famous for except honey producing. There could be an artifact of a saint there, so that certain pilgrimaes takes place for example, something to give the region a bit more life of its own. Also the usage of certain products could be mentioned if it isn't obvious, e.g. what is kies good for?)

For merchants and travellers that had business in the area, there is a small inn called “The Lost Mate” (Maybe I short sentence could be added why it is called this way?). Containing only 3 rooms it has a real family type feel to it.

Although Kreeswind is 1 village on the map, there really isn’t much that binds the 2 parts together. There is very little contact between the 2 groups: Boaters and traders.

The boaters get lumber and necessary supplies from the traders and give them boats in return. That is the only real contact. The traders sell these boats, along with y’rom honey from the monastery, Kies flower and overseas supplies. It is suspected (but investigating that is discouraged) that some of the merchants deal in other things as well. Scows arriving at odd hours in the night and loads being carried into the warehouses under torchlight…And the next morning the goods are no longer there.

(In general I recommend to add at least something like an atmospheric paragraph in this section as well, setting the mood here, maybe as an introductory paragraph. Take a look for example at entries like Shneerin to get an idea what you could do in this respect.)

Location.
Kreeswind lies on the west coast of Manthria, a province of Santharia, located at the south of the continent Sarvonia. (Santharia = southern kingdom at the continent of Sarvonia)

Between The Gulf of Maraya and The Auturian woods, close to the Malise Islets. (Construct whole sentences!) To the south you will find Ravenport and to the north is Rhenos castle, part of the legend of The Four Brothers.

There are rumours that Kreeswind is built upon an old town that was destroyed long ago. Apparently being the site of some sort of horrible cult, people didn’t want to come here. (Well, here's an interesting idea you could build some stuff on!)

People.
Since not many people wander into this region without specific business, the people of Kreeswind are pretty much to themselves. Only the merchants are a bit more outgoing, but only enough to sell their goods.
There are many travellers using the Auturian trail of course, that’s good for business, but as soon as people hear about the curse however, they are in a hurry all of a sudden.

The 300 people living here can be split into a few groups. The majority of the people build boats or are employed in related industries like making ropes and sails and cutting trees.
Then there are the merchants selling goods traded with Quetin and the monastery of the Malise Islets.

The majority of Kreeswind  is human, and there is not much room for any other races. Since everyone is very much to himself, an outsider will not be greeted warmly. Not that the people here are rude; just not interested. (Well, you can go into more detail here, e.g. stating that in this region there live also a bunch of hermits strewn over the place, maybe greylers, and that there have been incidents of certain madmen living there, which don't shed the best light on the village. Or at least people don't want to talk about these weirdos. You know, there's no need to be overly explicit about such things, but just a few pointers in a certain direction can make the place much more interesting.)

The people of Kreeswind pretty much keep to themselves. They watch Lorehaven with great interest, seeing as it has a boating industry of its own. But then again, Kreeswind boats are made for a special purpose: Shallow water fishing.

---

Ok, that's it for today - a promising start, Wanderer. hopefully my suggestions can help to make it even more unique! :D
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« Reply #6 on: 15 December 2006, 20:47:33 »

Artimidor: There is a bunch of stuff related to this place: myth / legends (i.e. the strange cult). Should these be done here? Or in a different entry in a different area?
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« Reply #7 on: 19 December 2006, 05:11:46 »

Well, Wanderer, if you have concrete ideas you can and should already sketch these things here, though you don't need to go into extreme detail of course. If you have much more on something and wish to develop it further, then you can make an own entry out of it of course, but first it should have priority to get this main entry done, which you can then use as base for adding more :)
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