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Author Topic: Herool’s Prowl  (Read 6426 times)
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Decipher Ziron
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« on: 26 July 2007, 03:22:36 »

Idea I had...may at one point write the fable...Enjoy!!!



Herool’s Prowl

‘Herool’s Prowl’ is a song/poem recited by many Zhunite children. It relates to the story of Herool, a huge fabled Seawyrm which had the ability to talk telepathically to his victims before luring them into his trap. In the tale he would lure swimming children to a hidden place with promises of treasure, and would devour them. It is supposed to teach children the importance of suspicion and to forget your own greed. It is also, more blatantly, a warning of the children to avoid the dangers of the coast, Seawyrm or otherwise...

Herool, Herool,
You hear his song,
Herool, Herool,
So sweet and long,

Herool, Herool,
Tells you his lies,
Herool, Herool,
The follower dies,

Herool, Herool,
Ignore the beast,
Herool, Herool,
Forget his treats,

Herool, Herool,
Forget your greed,
Herool, Herool,
Retreat with great speed,

Herool, Herool,
You think you’re a winner,
Herool, Herool,
Has made you his dinner,

Herool, Herool,
You hear his song,
Herool, Herool,
So sweet and Long,
« Last Edit: 12 August 2007, 17:30:11 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #1 on: 26 July 2007, 03:40:03 »

Very interesting song Decipher, but I noticed something:

Quote
Herool, Herool,
Forget your greed,
Herool, Herool,
Retreat with great speed,

Although I'm not a poet, I noticed that this last line breaks the rythm

He-rool, He-rool,
For-get your greed,
He-rool, He-rool,
Re-treat with great speed.

So we have 4 in the first line, 4 in the second line and 4 in the third line, but the fourth line has 5. You can shorten the line by using different words or shorten some words, as I said I'm no poet but...
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #2 on: 26 July 2007, 03:40:28 »

Ooops...Now I read it aloud I see that 'with great speed' ruins flow....*edits*
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #3 on: 26 July 2007, 03:54:27 »

Thanks Arceon...you were correct...not to sound ...whats the word...pretentious?...but I would say this has very few flaws so would it be possible for this to be blarrowed quickly?

*realises 'Blarrowed' should be a dev slang term for 'marked for intergration'*

Please note- Decipher is not a poetry expert, so there probably are errors...please dont miss interpret his proactivity as arrogance....
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #4 on: 26 July 2007, 03:57:34 »

It is supposed to teach children the importance of suspicion and to forget your own greed.


as well as making sure they dont go off exploring dangerous places.. the coast can be prettyt hazardous for children...
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Avrah Kehabhra

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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #5 on: 26 July 2007, 04:08:16 »

will add Mira...
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #6 on: 26 July 2007, 22:23:20 »

*attempts to bump this up to people's attention*
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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #7 on: 27 July 2007, 02:28:59 »

Hey Decipher! I like the idea very much, a fine addition to the project I think. I was thinking that I might write some music to bring the song more alive, in fact, as soon as I wrote the line I've started off and I hope to present it to you within two hours as I really have to make dinner (I feel famished), but afterwards I'll finish up, I just have to finish my accompagniment.

Note that as soon as I started composing the music, the first and final verses gave me some troubles, because the second and fourth line lack the first syllable present in all the other verses. Therefore, I propose to change these two, for example.

Now hear his song
Ye hear his song

So sweet and long

Music soon to follow (I really hope you like), but first... foooooood!
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #8 on: 27 July 2007, 02:35:50 »

Thank you Gean! I think that is a great idea...

I added a 'you' rather than a 'ye' since this feels more...sarvonian?....I find it hard to imagine Zhunites commonly using it as part of their slang....

Otherwise the rythym is fine?

*anticipates the composition...but waits for Gean to satiate his mortal hunger*
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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #9 on: 27 July 2007, 04:32:40 »

Argh, that will of course happen right now  buck . My webspace is inaccessible, so I can't upload the music... at least, not to there, but I've asked our dear Sage to upload the file and post a link to it here, so it should be up within the next 24-hours, probably soon. Stay tuned ;)
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« Reply #10 on: 27 July 2007, 04:38:25 »

Nice Deci!  Much better than your last.

"Practice makes perfect."  :D
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #11 on: 27 July 2007, 04:55:33 »

Okeydokey, and here I am already with the musical piece Gean has produced to go with Herool’s Prowl :)

Download it here:
Herool's Prowl (2:11 minutes, 2 MB)

I like both, the poem/song Decipher wrote and Gean's interpretation of it! Woo-hooo!!! Hope you enjoy as well :D
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #12 on: 27 July 2007, 05:06:17 »

Verry nice work, both of you!
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Avrah Kehabhra

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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #13 on: 27 July 2007, 05:06:49 »

A tiny explanation of my interpretation for Decipher:
The oboe part is ment as the singer's voice. It follows the text almost literally. Here and there at the end of the line, an extra 'vowl' is added, for example at the end of first verse.
I've created two melodies for the verses, so that it won't becoming boring to here the same thing six times. 1,3,4 and six have the same melody, as do 2 and 5. Furthermore you can here added pre- and postludia and interludia (the accompagniment without voice before, after and in between the 'vocal' parts.).

Now that I hear again, I think it needs a bit more tempo, but for now I'm awaiting your comments first.
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- Shakespeare's Twelfth Night
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« Reply #14 on: 27 July 2007, 05:17:18 »

Now that you mention it, Gean, a bit more tempo could indeed be beneficial I think. You've made the "Dusk is here" lullaby in a similar tempo I guess, so Herool leans a bit on this side and that effect could be avoided somewhat with more tempo. But that's just an observation from my side.
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
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