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Author Topic: Ronce Falcon  (Read 4099 times)
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Stargaze
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« Reply #15 on: 05 September 2007, 09:38:30 »

Sorry I haven't added in any of your suggestions yet Decipher I've been really busy with RL but I will try and do them tonight and tomorrow.
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xerampelinae deicida
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« Reply #16 on: 05 September 2007, 14:17:16 »

What about usage? Amanters would find thin feathers useful for certain applications such as making light weight clothing.

DECIPHER: Good Idea....
« Last Edit: 05 September 2007, 18:16:42 by Decipher Ziron » Logged
Stargaze
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« Reply #17 on: 10 September 2007, 13:30:21 »

Ok I have made all the little changes that you have suggested Dechipher and once I get all of my eye witness accounts down on paper and sorted out I will also add those.

@xerampelinae-I didnt put in any usage because of people's belief that they are favored by Tsalokath and that would scare off many of the people that would try to capture them for that purpose and because they are so rare around every where else besides the Nimernith moutians that it would be hard for anyone to actually capture one.

Edit: Also I couldnt think of a better word for zig zagging so if anyone could help with that it would be greatly appreciated.
« Last Edit: 10 September 2007, 13:34:17 by Stargaze » Logged
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #18 on: 10 September 2007, 15:37:31 »

Hi Stargaze,

Just a few remarks, i start from the end:

Myth:"She let out such a scream that the wizard who had summoned her lost his hearing and sight."


Tsakolath is a demon lord and can't be summoned, she is much too powerfull. But you can word it this way:

"...... that the foolish wizard who thought he could summon a Demon Lord lost his  hearing and sight, a punishment she imposed on him for his brazenness"

it is not clear to me, if these wings are bird wings with feathers who look like scales or if it has batlike wings.

Maybe you should mention the  Aj'nuvic grounds near the Nirmenith Mointains as well, either that it is not seen there or maybe only in the harsh winter.

spellcheck!
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Stargaze
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« Reply #19 on: 11 September 2007, 10:36:10 »

Thank you for looking at my entry Talia.

I really dont mean to contradict you and I apologize in advance if it offends you but in Tslokaths entry it states.

Quote
She shows no preference for forms, or at least her summoners do not,

The wings have featheres and I will try to make it clearer for you and everyone else. And I will definately take your advice on Aj'nuvic grounds.

Again thank you and I am sorry if I was out of line for contradicting you.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #20 on: 11 September 2007, 15:17:25 »

I agree, there is a sentence in this entry which is a bit , well, "weird".To call her a girl-demon is not so fitting in my opinion and it is not stated clearly if their summoners were successful or not.

I started revising these old entries some time ago but got stuck. But as soon as I have posted Religious Magic and it is gone through I will come back to the demons - and then no common mage will be able to summon a Demon Lord. They are nearly as mighty as gods and who would then be able to accomplish the task of summoning them against their will? So it would be better to adjust your submission already now to the then valid "facts".
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
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