Alvang

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #15 on: 04 November 2007, 22:38:12 »

Ok, now that I have some more time again, a Sarvonian Places entry is just right to check in more detail... So here we go, let's start:

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grey ... unclear passages

Entry Title.
The Fortress and Enclave of Alvang

As we're talking here about the fortress, town and island at the same time, we could as well add that directly to the title of the entry.

Overview.
The desolate fortress and town of Alvang built upon a tiny island in the north of the Ancythrian Sea has been the bane of most races for many long years. This dark monstrosity was created back in 110 b.S. during The Age of the Blood by the minions of the dark elven witchking, the Móch'rónn Saban Blackcloak. Since then it has been known to be the center for all dark elven activities. Now it has become deserted and run down after the alleged death of Blackcloak in the third century a.S. The dark fortress and town have begun to crumble after years of being abandoned as a result of the untamed forces of the powerful winds that blow across the island. Most think Alvang was the name of just the fortress, but since it has been abandoned and all other names were lost in the past, it has become a common habit among the people to call the fortress and, also, the town, Alvang.

Here it would be interesting to try to deduce the name of "Alvang" from Styrásh, the elven tongue and find a meaning for it that makes sense in the way we see that fortress/island. I looked around in the Styrásh vocabulary list and cam up with the following idea:

The original name of the fortress was "áll'valán" a short form of "áll'valanáj", which means "above (or higher) than the Dream (meant is the Dream of Avá)". This would show us the hubris of the Móh'rónn, who thought that he could become a God-like being himself.

Additonally I propose that Caltharians (need the ok of Judy for that) who live in that area have certain endings for settlements (like the Avennorians have "-ran" in Starmiran, Marduran etc. Such a Caltharian ending could be "wang" or "vang", which would eventually result in the currently known name of "Alvang".

The enclave of Alvang has become known as "Sorcerer's Isle" throughout the land since it housed many dark mages and the Móch'rónn himself for a time. People of both Elsreth and Cavthan, the nearest ports in the Ancythrian Sea, believe that the closer one sails to Alvang the more perilous the journey will be. This might partly be because of the dangerous reefs that exist around the enclave and the storms that rage in this region. But many claim that the troubles in the sea are mainly due to dark magic coming from the isle. Even noted historians believe that the magical trap that was activated on the notorious Witchking's Night millenia ago is still the reason for the dangerous seas and the evil that is said to emanate from the abandoned isle. At any rate ships that travel too close to Alvang rarely come back in good condition. Alvang has been supposedly uninhabited for many years and ghost stories swarm to the place like flies to honey.

Location.
The dark fortress of Alvang is built upon a tiny isle in the northern Ancythrian Sea, called "Sorcerer's Isle" by many, others refer to it by the name of the fortress itself. The sea is located in the northern half of the Southern Sarvonian Continent, and the fortress as well as the town of Alvang resides on this island which is officially part of the Enthronian Province. To the west of the sea are the High Fores that feed into this large body of water. There are two cities on the coast of the sea Elsreth and Cavthan. Being on the coast of the mass of water in which this island fortress was built they are the closest cities to be found. (These two sentences are repetitive and one could be easily removed.) There are two reefs located near this isle, the Blood Reef on the southeast and the other, the Twilight Reef directly to the south. Both reefs are rather odd in referring to the color of the coral which is red for one and deep blue for the other.

Description.

A short note ahead: I notice that you describe Alvang without really going further back to the time before Saban. If you do that, there needs to be a reason why nobody lived there. I therefore add below that its an inhospitable rocky environment and that foul magic was used to make the fortress and the town out of it. Hope that's fine with you.

If you look at the history part, you also see the "Declaration of Alvang" mentioned there. If we make this island uninhabited before Saban's arrival, then that declaration cannot be put into Alvang. I will change that in the history tables. The term "Alvang" also wouldn't make much sense pre-Saban if we follow the deduction of the name I tried to elaborate above. BTW:

Why Saban went to Alvang isn't really mentioned anywhere, or? You could e.g. still add something that it is supposed that Saban ended up in Alvang, because he found a magical source there that was left over from the War of the Chosen. So the place might have been considered cursed already prior to Saban's arrival. Just a suggestion.)

Upon the small island in the middle of the Ancythrian Sea, which was shunned by many for its inhospitable rocky environment, the dark elf, Saban Blackcloak had his minions build a tall, intimidating fortress. The building was created more than a century before the unification of the tribes to form Santharia and was accomplished by foul magic ("evil" alone is rather unspecific) and housed the vilest things in the world from the moment of its creation and, possibly, until now. The dark grey stone (maybe you could specify the type of stone?) that was used to create this terror is said to still run red with the blood of many. People say that until this very day the stone is stained crimson after the Battle at Alvang which is also called The Witchking's Night. This castle of evil used to house Saban and his minions, who believed in him to be the son of the reincarnation of Coór, Coór'melór, and thus he was named the Móch'rónn (Dark Lord). Few that have claimed to have seen the inside of this terrible monument are still alive today. Most consider those men that claim to have set foot on Alvang to be mad and don't believe them. But despite of that many stories are told of the dark acts that were conducted within those blood-soaked stone walls - and of things that supposedly still happen there.

Does the castle lie on an elevated position? Has it any special features?

Around the castle is a small town, lying in ruins now, built during the time of Saban Blackcloak to house the dark mages loyal to him. The town was built to the north of the great fortress (in the previous sentence you say "around the castle"), the ramshackle huts barely enough to survive the storms that swept across the island, but they survived them, as they probably were strengthened by magical means (otherwise after 2000 years you won't see much of ramshackle huts). That was in days past though. Few ships have ventured close to the isle and survived in recent days. Some believe that the magic trap that was triggered on Witchking's Night and caused the demise of so many foes of Saban is still somewhat active and is the source of evil that still hangs the island and the sea around it. Others say that the bladeserpents act as wardens to keep people away from the fell island. Though some still find themselves near the island and come back alive to tell of what they saw. There have been reports of small huts gone to pieces with time, collapsed upon themselves by the trials of age. The castle is said to begin to give way under the pressure of time and constant storms. Sailors have said to see the tall foreboding towers swaying in the winds during great storms. On the few days, when there are calm waters around the little island, ships that drift close enough tell of crumbling walls and a worn mountain of stone where a masterpiece of evil once stood. It is very rare that too curious adventurers survive a close encounter with Sorcerer's Isle and live. Sailors shun the island and deem it cursed, and they consider everyone cursed as well who deliberately sets a foot on Alvang. The few ships that do come back bring back interesting tales of the crumbling monument and lots of ghost stories. Many an adventurer is said to have sailed into the heart of the sea to discover its secrets, and has not returned.

Some adventurous sailors have attempted to sail to the island, yet they turn back, due to bladeserpent attacks and dangerous storms that seem to come out of nowhere. One ship has actually set sail to the island and returned with two survivors that were driven blind and mute, and most said they were insane. The owner of the shop Dark City in Cavthan, Meercos, claims to have also traveled to Alvang just recently and that he managed to return with treasure from the deserted town. Merrcos said that he convinced a man and his ship to take them there, on the way encountering a bladeserpent but getting away. When asked why he went he just shrugs and says it was for the treasure. The owner is a macanti and many do not believe his tale, but there are others that do. He tells of the ruined city of Alvang, shabby huts blown apart by the wind long ago. Other accounts tell us that frequently water covers most of the island but the pieces of the huts stay, the memory of darkness a stain on the land. Meercos speaks of shadows that followed him when he ventured on the enclave, always watching his every movements. He says that the fortress was the more fearsome thing he had ever seen, the towering mountain of stone swaying in the wind - a sight that made him doubt whether he could still trust his senses. The large gatehouse and blood-soaked wall were gone to pieces, Meercos recounted, piles of crumbled stones showing nothing of the high gates former glory, the fortress bending to the will of time.

(More to come later!)


« Last Edit: 05 November 2007, 02:28:00 by Artimidor Federkiel »	Logged

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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #16 on: 06 November 2007, 05:47:21 »

Ok, let's continue where I left off yesterday:

The fool claims he entered the fading fortress. He described what he had seen to a researcher for the Santharian Compendium as follows: (I suggest to add some direct speech on here as well in order to get some life into a mere description in. Quotes always help to make something more realistic (as you don't claim that it is the absolute truth), and at the Compendium author can distance himself/herself even a bit from what is described.)

"In the entrance hall there sat a large oak table, split down the middle, old blood has stained the surface and the water that frequently rose took its toll on the hard wood. The remains of wooden chairs were scattered about. Remnants of the once living littered the floor. The thing that caught my eye was a rusted steel sword that had been driven straight through the wood of the table, and a barest remains of someone or something.

I searched the upper rooms, finding no sign of the battle that seemed to have taken place in the great hall. I went through taking artifacts and the like. Little amulets, trinkets and anything I could find. I couldn't open one of the doors, a strange metal door at the top of the fortress. I put my hand to the door to push it open and the metal burned red hot and scorched my hand!"

This our researcher could confirm, as he saw proof of it, Merrcos' right hand was indeed showing the signs of having been severely burned. Though, undoubtedly, the injury could have been caused by something else as well.

"I left after that, going back to the great hall. I assure you, I heard cries of anguish and pain coming from a door on the left side of the hall but I didn't stay long enough to see what it was. I have returned to the ship with my treasures, and survived the return trip - and I should leave it at that, as I don't plan to go to this eerie place that soon again ."

-- Merrcos' Hartnan on his adventure at Alvang

Unfortunately, there is no one else to prove the story true. The sailors and the captain of the ship that supposedly took Merrcos to the island were reported dead no less than a week later after the alleged visit to Alvang, their ship was lost at sea. The owner of the "Dark City" shop in Cavthan has been proclaimed mad by the people of the town, saying that he believes that he actually went to Alvang and the ghosts now follow him in the form of shadows, sneaking up on him in the dark. An Eyashene mindsoother was called to help him, but was unable to do so, despite the fact that she witnessed several feverish attacks on him, which erupted seemingly without reason.

That story is the closest thing to a description of the haunted island, some believe it, others think that the man's story is just the ravings of a mad man. Only the ghosts said to haunt the island will probably know the truth.

Coat of Arms.
As of now the island is uninhabited and there is no coat of arms. None remember the time of Saban Blackcloak and his terrible reign upon the island and there is no known evidence of the small town and fortress having a coat of arms. If there once was one then that information has been lost in time.

People and Culture.
In times long past dark elves, orcs, and dark mages populated the island, filling the small piece of land with every ounce of evil they possessed. The many different tribes that had been enlisted by the Móch'rónn are mostly lost in history. The isle was populated by a mix of dark elves, orcs, mages, and other creatures that flocked to the fortress for one reason, power. Now the only thing that could be living on the island are ghosts or zombies, and you can't exactly call that "living". Sailors that get caught in a storm around Alvang have reported mysterious phenomenons in that area. Such as hundreds of ghost faces being reflected in the rain several peds above sea level. Others tell of ghost sailors fighting against drowning or ghost ships crossing in the distance. More tales can be heard of watchers looking at passing ships from the enclave of Alvang and shrieks being heard from out of nowhere. Sailors believe that the spirits of all those that were killed on the Witchking's Night still haunt the island. These are just the tellings of sailors but none dare to challenge their words.

Climate.
Throughout the year there are storms in the Ancythrian Sea. The summer is the harshest time of year for storms. When these storms hit they become extremely violent with high winds and thunderstorms that can capsize a ship. This also can cause severe floods which will make Sorcerer's Isle seemingly disappear. During these few floods water will cover the entire island, leaving only the bloodied battlements of the forgotten fortress as a beacon of warning. When the waters recede the ancient ruins of a long deserted town still remain. The shattered homes that once housed dark mages seem to be forever cursed to haunt the place. The storms might wash away some of the taint upon the land little by little but always sailors come back to port with the stories of a haunted fortress and a ghost town.

Here you could add that this "strange and aggressive climate" (as is written in the Ancythrian Sea entry) doesn't seem to be explainable for many a scholar, and that therefore people think that the storms are generated by magic that is lingering in Alvang, or in the depths of the sea close by...

Flora
Nothing is known for sure about the plants that can be found on his isolated island, but some source of food can be found there since there is one creature brave enough to visit the haunted island, the white deer.

Fauna.
The White Deer are strong swimmers, most noticeably demonstrated in the successful colonization of the islands of Denilou and Alvang. (Have to admit: I don't quite understand that sentence properly.) The sea is home to the notorious bladeserpent, a beautiful yet deadly creature that has caused misery to many a sailor and their families. Encounters with the bladeserpent have only happened at night, and in the northern part of the sea, close to the enclave of Alvang. Some say the serpents are guardians for ghosts against intruders into their island, but that's just one of many sailors' tales. What seems to be sure is that there are dark secrets buried in the depths of the sea, and while this all seems to make a good tale for a travelers listening to such accounts, one might rethink if one plans to cross the sea for some reason.

Okeydokey, rest will follow tomorrow - stay tuned!


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #17 on: 07 November 2007, 04:30:16 »

Myths/Lore.
An old tale is told about the town of Alvang, which usually scares sailors from going far north on the sea. Its origins are lost in time but there isn't a soul that lives on the Ancythrian Sea that hasn't heard of it, or at least a part of the true story. The people tend to believe this story and stay clear of Alvang because of that. What happened on Alvang that day is a mystery to all yet that doesn't stop people from spreading stories about ghosts putting a curse on them, and the spirit of Blackcloak cutting out the hearts of the other members of the crew that went to the island. If you can peal away the layers of sailor tales you might actually get the original story for once. Here's the closest thing to the original tale to be found, the tale as it was written down in "Master Tribell's MIraculous Narrations".

The Undiscovered Sea. There was once a boy who thought he could do anything. Ever since he was little, anything that he was told was impossible, or forbidden, he’d try his best to try it anyway. He was the kind of child who, if given a pair of wings, he might also have been able to fly with them (Suggest to formulate it a bit "softer".). His spirit was stronger than the spirit of an entire army. He had more energy than all of the other children in the world. But it did not last forever.

Now this young man decided that he wanted to be a sailor. So, when he was old enough, he left Cavthan, his hometown, and sailed the world for thirteen years. When he returned, he was even more headstrong and confident than before. Once he had seen the world, and had come home to settle down again (otherwise: repetition of "a bit"), he thought for a bit. “Now, I’ve sailed all of the seas in the world - I've been to the hot waters of Aeruillin, and I've seen the dangerous reefs of Nybelmar, and even have been on Akdor's shores, but one sea I still haven't mastered....” He only just realized that he had never sailed the entire Ancythrian Sea. He had traversed the sea to the west before, but he had never ventured to the mysterious north. At first, he was not really interested in the trip and preferred to enjoy a fisherman's life instead - but the temptation didn't die down. One day finally, he overheard a man talking about the evil town in the northern part of the sea that was guarded by ghosts of the vengeful dead. This piqued his interest even more, and fired up his curiosity. So, he formed a crew and set sail for Alvang, despite the warnings of the townspeople.

Twenty was the number of men that set sail that day, yet only two returned. One week after the ship left, a few broken pieces of plank with two ragged, old men on top, floated to the Cavthan shore. One of them, the captain of the vessel, could not talk. The other was blind. They both were scratched up very badly, and their skin seemed to be a yellow colour. Now though the blind man was not also mute, the townspeople could get some words out of him, but not much of a logical sentence. “Lights,” he would say, “Pretty Blue Lights.” The captain, who was mute stayed to himself from then on, jumping at every noise he heard, and cowering at every whisper. He never looked at the stars again, they seemed to scare him. He would always sleep alone, in the dark, with his head covered. No one ever was able to find out what happened on that ship so long ago. And no one ever had the courage to find out.

Question: With the captain of the vessel do you mean our "hero" of the story? You don't really specifiy that and connect it to the first part of the story. Maybe you could write something like: Some say that they recognized the captain as our "hero", others claim that it isn't him - and he couldn't tell as he seemed to suffer from amnesia.

- Master Tribell's Miraculous Narrations", p. 79

History.
As already stated above: The Declaration of Alvang needs to be removed, as it doesn't fit into your description of the island.

All history events should also be written in present tense BTW.

Also worth considering is that - also mentioned above - there was something magically fascinating on the island prior to Saban. We might keep that very vague, but it would add to the general mystery of the island. You might also mention e.g. a torture dungeon or something that goes deep down, which would make a great background for adventures...

---------------------------------

Okeydokey... I'm through! Quite a lengthy and elaborate entry, Garret, and a very nice work for a first Places submission

- I tried to make some passages sound a bit better or add some details here and there I thought that would work in the context, but I didn't change any essentials - so I hope you like the adjustments, which were just made to make what is already there a bit more elaborate. - Have a look at the posted things, and where applicable see to make some more additions/adjustments, otherwise I think you've done quite well here!


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #18 on: 07 November 2007, 09:21:27 »

Art,

I realise this only relates peripherally to this topic, but what do you intend to rename the Treaty of Alvang? How about the Treaty of Doovens?

Trel.


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #19 on: 07 November 2007, 15:53:16 »

Yep, renaming that treaty seems necessary - Doovens looks fine, as it lies close by in that region, so I also would say to go for that


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #20 on: 08 November 2007, 23:04:31 »

a) In that context it makes even more sense to have Doovens be moved slightly to the major crossroads

as I proposed a while back... (rubs hands, looks up innocently and whistles)

b) "Additonally I propose that Caltharians (need the ok of Judy for that) who live in that area have certain endings for settlements (like the Avennorians have "-ran" in Starmiran, Marduran etc. Such a Caltharian ending could be "wang" or "vang", which would eventually result in the currently known name of "Alvang"..."

No objection here - that could be added to the entry. I'd suggest 'wan', 'vang', and 'wain', with the following etymology.

" It is thought to be derived from the 'sloppy' Caltharian way of saying 'wain', the old word for 'wagon', and the oldest word for 'home' which Caltharian used when the region was first being settled..." In which case I'd like to make sure that in closeups of the area we have a few settlements named (or renamed if necessary) things like 'Calswain', 'Vangfield', and 'Manimaniwan' (an ancient village now deserted!)


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #21 on: 09 November 2007, 03:13:04 »

Cool with me, Judy!

Doovens will be moved as soon as we have our Caltharian entry done, then I'll fix the map and when Alvang goes up I'll adjust the name of the treaty as well.

The passage you provide for integrating here is also good to have to have a proper explanation. And yep, it was also part of the idea to have further settlements named according to such a scheme in a more detailed map. So all good with me, I'm only waiting for Garret here to integrate the last comments


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Garret Arroway

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #22 on: 10 November 2007, 08:14:01 »

Sorry it took so long, school bites

Well newest edits made in Teal! Couple things tho . . .

Didn't understand what ya wanted me to do with the naming of the island . . .

And the edits that were put in for - Master Tribell's Miraculous Narrations, not my story so didn't think i should edit it . . . I found it and had to do with Alvang and fit in, if i need to be removed just let me know


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #23 on: 10 November 2007, 14:40:08 »

I wouldn't say that the island is really small. According to this map, it's about 2700km² in size (assuming the map uses km/strals), which is probably fairly large.


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Alvang

« Reply #24 on: 10 November 2007, 17:13:18 »

Some answers:

Naming.
Well, I actually explained that quite thoroughly, so I don't know where the difficulty lies, but I try again in short form:

- Prior to Saban people had a name for the island that was not "Alvang" and had nothing to do with a "Witchking". Maybe it was a name that somehow hinted how rough the terrain is there, that it is considered uninhabitable etc. (would elaborate on that a bit, so that it is clear why no one settled there)

- Saban occupies the island and names it "All'valán" ("Above the Dream"), as this is what it represents for him - the place should help him to rise above the Dream of Avá

- Once Saban is gone, the Caltharians begin to refer to the island as "Alvang", as the original meaning of the island is lost. The new ending just means "settlement" for the Caltharians, so they transform the name to what it is now, "Alvang".

Undiscovered Sea story.
With my corrections/additions I tried to improve the story further, so I'd say you can add that in, and I'll update the Cavtharn entry as well accordingly then, where it was originally posted. It's not that the story changes drastically or something.

Island Size.
Yes, the island indeed isn't that small as it might appear here in the entry - Mina seems to have inside information about it's exact size as well... lol

But as already mentioned there could be vast parts of the island that consist of rough terrain, of rocks, or even a small mountain chain etc. Then there'd be little left to actually build such a settlement.


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #25 on: 10 November 2007, 21:18:04 »

Um, well, actually I measured it by holding up a ruler to my monitor. lol


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #26 on: 11 November 2007, 01:26:17 »

Alright yall, all new edits in purple this time . . . Hopefully I caught everything and understood yall right . . . And about the story, I hadn't wanted to edit it without permission, forgot to put that in last reply, but hopefully the edits are satisfactory . . .


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Re: Alvang

« Reply #27 on: 11 November 2007, 17:06:28 »

Now the entry sparkles already in all the colours of the rainbow... Spotted some things e.g. in the naming explanation that are a bit bland, but I'll see to adjust that a bit on integrating the entry, if that's fine with you, Garret! - Hope the other suggestions were taken in as well properly, so I think we can now indeed prepare it, before you run out of colours!

Update arrow given! - Congrats on your first thorough Places entry, well done! thumbup


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Alvang