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Author Topic: The Nightfog Cliffs  (Read 7749 times)
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Arin Woodwealth
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« on: 02 January 2008, 00:45:26 »

Comments by Grunok in this green.
Comments by Bard Judith in this yellow.
Comments by Artimidor Federkiel in this orange.
Comments by Drúadan in a shade of red.

The Nightfog Cliffs

Overview.
The Nightfog cliffs are a series of small mountainous islands, situated in the Adanian Sea. The cliffs are a famed Blue Drake hunting ground, and are often visited by ships containing hunting parties. Marduran is the main staging ground for these hunts. The Rocen Worm, the sole member of its kind left, also has its home here. Fishermen and women tend to avoid this area, though not as fearfully as the Dead Fisherman's Grotto. It is believed that the cliff is used as a smuggler's den of sorts, by the infamous smugglers that plague Marduran. However, due to the increased activity in the area by the drake hunting parties, this is much less common than in past years. The cliffs are the subject of a small number of myths and stories, most including the Blue Drake.

Image Caption.
An artist's depiction of the Nightfog Cliffs at dawn.

Description.
The Nightfog Cliffs are exclusively mountainous. Each island looks like a mountain peak rising from the sea. On the largest island, a plateau of sorts stands. Due to the general rockiness of the area, it is wise to bring certain supplies with you, especially if you are hunting the Blue Drake. A rope is always useful, though the noise you may generate shuffling up it may scare any prey away. It is worth bringing good boots, as these can be a good alternative to rope, allowing you to traverse up the cliffs making less noise. Food supplies are important, because you are unlikely to find any tasty sustenance once on the cliffs, if any at all.

As you move towards the peaks, you will notice the water becoming dangerously shallow, and occasionally a rock will stick up. Though it is unlikely you will be shipwrecked on the way to the cliffs, it has happened to unlucky sailors before. It is only once you are close to the islands the dangers begin. First, you must find a good mooring place for your boat. It must not be left to drift in a cove, as it is likely for it to be pushed away by currents, and hit a rock, leaving you with no way from the islands. For this reason, many teams arrange a pick up time with a sailor, ensuring that someone knows they are out there. Once on the island, you may begin wondering why you came. The ground is ridiculously tricky to navigate without a good sense of balance; many hunting teams have lost a member at this early stage. However, if you carefully move along the peaks, you will soon get used to how to move, and the risk of falling is reduced.

The Blue Drake normally resides in the water, though occasionally will go onto the land to hide in the mud from the sun. It is at this point you must find it, when it is resting. There are several telltale signs of where the Blue Drake has been. You may find, globules of mud leaving a trail. This is the mud the dragon has slept in, and, as it flies away from its resting point, the mud will fall down, leaving wide splatters of dirt. Following these trails along will help you find the mud pools the drake often shelters in. These pools are often located in small valleys, ten to twenty peds up from the sea, and are obvious contrasts in the landscape from the general rockiness of the rest of the area. Waiting by these pools is a surefire way to find a drake, though it may take several days. Other than this, blind luck is required to spot a drake. The drake is seen once every two weeks or so, so be prepared to wait that time before you find one.


The cliffs are not thought to contain any worthy minerals to create mines, though occasionally a drunk sailor may concoct a story to the contrary, and for a few weeks gullible prospectors will visit the cliffs. The grey rock of the islands is infrequently broken up by patches of plants, each in its own little pile of dirt, though, for the most part, is bland and lifeless. Loose rocks litter the islands, and avalanches have been recorded to happen on some of the larger cliffs. Each cliff is home to between two and four Tulmine Trees, though they tend to sit in awkward positions. It is believed the trees first grew on the islands after their seeds were transported by birds. Smaller birds, such as gulls, are occasionally found nesting in this area, though the relative lack of good nesting space prevents the number from growing.

A wide bay known to local sailors as the “White Bay” for the colour of the sand that covers the area, has been created by several of the islands.  The bay is rarely visited, the water within it only a fore or so deep, and jagged rocks lie under the water restricting passage. These pointed rocks feature all around the cliffs, some blocking the way between certain islands, by having two sets of rocks at either entrance to the gap. These blocked passageways can often only be entered by Ducraer, meaning they are ideal for smugglers, who frequent these otherwise seldom visited areas. Several of the most well-hidden of these area's caves are full of illegal or stolen goods, now wasting away due to the smuggler who owned having been caught, or retiring. A fit person armed with a boat and a strong acquisitive mindset could make a living from finding and selling these items.

It is not uncommon to see a shipwreck under the water, or even on a beach. The cliffs seem to almost collect these wrecks as trophies, and they often lie in very visible places. Around them, you will often see a skeleton or two, the unfortunate souls who dared invoke the wrath of the area, and didn't make it out alive. The bones are almost always picked clean, every scrap taken by the birds and crabs of the islands.


Caves line the cliffs, some above the sea level, some below. This has led to speculation that several - as yet unknown - types of fish or beasts of the water live in these caves. Unfortunately, due to the difficulty in reaching these caves, and the fact that breathing underwater is difficult to achieve, the deepest underwater caves have never been explored. Avennorian pearl divers have tried to get as deep as possible into these caves, hoping to become rich by finding great troves of pearls, or to be the first person to spy a new sea-creature. Few have been able to penetrate the caves to any great depth, but those who have tell stories of octopi, sea-snakes, and some even tell of creatures the like of which they had never seen before. It is possible these unknown creatures were figments of the divers’ imaginations - shadows, and the extreme depths causing disorientation - but it is hard to prove or disprove it. Above water, rockpools dot the caves, small animals, such as starfish, kina, anemones and shellfish, all make their homes in these pools. Those caves which lie above water are almost devoid of life, inhabited only by the Rockmoss that grows within them, the creatures living in the rockpools,  and the Rocen Worm. Some of the deeper caves reach up to two hundred peds into the cliffs: these are the ones in which one is most likely to spot ‘Old Rocky’.

At night, the cliffs are shrouded in sea-mist, which is how the cliffs received their current name. Every year or so, a ship is cut down while attempting to traverse the area at night. The fog, combined with shallow water and spiked rocks, is a dangerous combination. The mist has a slightly green-grey quality to it, aiding the peaks mysterious quality.

At dawn and dusk, when the fog is not so thick, the cliffs are an extremely tranquil place. Nothing moves, and the only sound is of silence, with the occasional soft thump of a wave on the shore.  This picture, drawn by a well known artist, depicts a small Ducraer tied down on the rocky shore of one of these cliffs. The picture is well known to be in mourning of the Ducraer builder Ducras, who was lost near the cliffs in a mysterious, yet unexplained way.

Location.
The Nightfog Cliffs are situated off the east coast of Manthria, specifically beginning at Clendor Point and rising from under the Adanian Sea to the north-east. They continue in a line, not unlike a mountain chain, until around two-thirds of the way, where they branch out into two rows. Each of these lines contains several islands. There are around thirty five islands in all, although more are there, they are too small to truly count. The entire mountain range is around sixty strals from the coast, from which point it continues for around hundred strals north east, then turning northwest for another forty strals. At this point they begin to thin in number, and get progressively smaller, until they are little more than glorified islands. The massive size of the cliffs makes them a major landmark for sailors, who can see them from strals away, and as a hideout or warehouse for thieves, who use the caves often to hide illicitly gained goods.

Climate.
The Cliffs have a temperate climate, slightly colder than the coast it lies off of. During the winter weeks, the cliffs are covered with a thin blanket of snow.. Throughout the rest of the year, mist covers some of the cliffs, and it often rains. While this water allows some plants to live, it also washes away small amounts of soil into the sea each year. In several hundred years, it is believed the cliffs will be devoid of any plants other than the Rockmoss in the caves. In autumn, rainstorms ravage the cliff, which can cause any boats that have dared sail to the islands to be in great danger. The rocks underwater are nearly impossible to see in these conditions. During the night all year round, the cliffs are shrouded with an impenetrable fog: hence the name of the cliffs. This fog has captured many fishing parties in its thick grasps, and the sea floor around the cliffs is littered with wrecks; some in the more shallow places present a danger to other ships.
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Flora.
Flora in the region is limited. A few clusters of Ptoria Weed cling to the cliffs, as do several Tulmine trees, both being hardy enough to stand the elevation and climate. Many of the caves and caverns of the cliffs are full of Rockmoss.

Underwater, however, the story changes completely. Seaweed of all kinds litters the seabed, especially on the west side of the cliffs. These plants, all of which seem to have an individual colour from the rest, crowd around each other, almost as if they were competing for certain spaces. While it is by no means full to the brim with sea plants, the seafloor has a great amount of life in this region.

Fauna.
Other than Blue Drakes, the smaller cousins of dragons, some seabirds who nest in the cliffs, and a single Rocen Worm, a terror-inspiring giant worm,  nothing much else is known to live on the cliffs. However stories speak of other creatures living within the deep caverns of the isle. Researchers generally dismiss the stories as folklore, the “unexplained disappearances” being attributed to drowning, falling, or even starvation.  The seabirds living among the isle are exclusively gulls, though, due to the gull's flock instinct, there are either many or none nesting at any point.

In some of the lower caves, those that are regularly flooded by the tide, rock pools are common. Small water creatures live in these pools, ranging from tiny anemones and starfish to some of the smaller kinds of shellfish. On the beaches crabs are often found, enjoying their latest meal, or just trying to avoid the gulls.


Resources.
The cliffs are thought to contain few if any minerals, certainly such trace amounts that a mine is not worth the work. Due to the limited fertile land, and the lack of minerals, settlement has never been attempted here. The only resources of note are those provided by the Blue Drake, such as its oil and horns. Underneath the cliffs the pearl divers report an average number of pearls in the area though, and occasionally you might see a pearl diving team taking a share of the sea's bounty. The pearls are relatively evenly distributed among the islands, although some of the islands further out tend to have better quality pearls. Seafood in the area, such as shellfish and plants, is quite common, though unlike the pearl giving oysters, water plants tend to congregate around the western side of the cliffs. This is possibly due to the slightly increased quality of the seabed there. It is known plants in that area are able to grow much better than other areas, and the underwater currents there are weaker than elsewhere, having been diverted by the cliffs.

Myth/Lore.
There are many stories of strange creatures living within the deep cavern system of the Nightfog Cliffs, though on the few expeditions ever sent to look for anything, nothing has been found. Many of these stories can be attributed to the Rocen Worm, which is known to live within the caverns. However, it is quite possible creatures do live in the caverns, providing the creatures within eat fish or water plants predominantly, as the Rocen Worm does. The worm has been nicknamed by sailors and divers alike, as "Old Rocky", or "Old Grandpa Worm". However, it doesn't seem likely sailors will ever stop believing in the monsters.

Several inhabitants of Marduran have made their voices heard on this matter. Geirloff Joran has voiced his opinion on the caves:
"I dive for pearls regu'ly. And I've bin in the caves in t' depths. And they have creatures in 'em! I've seen great snakes in there, more'n two or three peds long, but only a few nailsbreadths thick. Its teeth were longer than it wa' wide, they stuck out by a little. I'm sure if the thing had wanted to kill me, it could have. It could have wrapped itsel' aroun' me and poked me neck open with its fangs!". Other divers however, say to the contrary. Fjules Anrikjor also dives for pearls, and says she believes nothing in there would ever harm her.
"I've been in those caves, deeper than most. All I ever seen in there were these red fish, some weird sea plants, and a few shellfish. The oysters in the deeper caves grow bigger than the ones nearer the surface though. I guess I could make a fortune down there!"


One myth speaks of the cliffs possible origins, the myth of the wizard Clendor, who by cheating a demon, enraged it, and years later it sought revenge. Unfortunately, another demon was summoned by one of Clendor's apprentices, who fought back the first demon. In the end, the first demon defeated the second, though the first had to flee, weakened from the fight. As he fled across the sea, his feet kicked up the seabed, forming the Nightfog Cliffs, and other islands. The full story can be read in the Clendor Point article.

Merfolk are said to live here too. Pearl divers, usually when drunk on the coast, speak of meeting merfolk under the sea, and being captivated by their beauty. It is possible that they are just a story the divers say, though it would not be impossible that the Merfolk live here. The sea floor is ripe with food, and fish are common. The area has all the necessary ingredients for the recipe, in a manner of speech, though whether Merfolk live here or not is debatable.   


Ghosts of sailors who have been shipwrecked near the cliffs are believed to inhabit the islands. These souls of the departed have never been reported (Other than in drunken sailors exaggerated tales) to cause any harm, or even to take an interest in alive visitors to area. The ghosts are rumoured to suddenly appear from the fog, then after a few minutes, vanish into the fog as quickly as they appeared. Not all the people in the area believe this though, as Fjules has to say: "What would be the point of hauntin' the area? I could understand it if they 'ad all died 'cause of a drake or a monster, or been murdered or somet'ing, but most o' them weren't. I s'pose at most there could be a few....but no more than that."

Other sceptics of the ghost stories point out that the thrashing of the Rocen Worm could make a blast of air, moving the fog away from a group of adventurers, rather than ghosts.


The story of Ducras is a well known story in coastal settlements in this area. Ducras' family died in a boating accident. He, his wife and both his children were sailing near the coast, when the boat flipped over. Ducras managed to survive, but his children and wife, weaker swimmers than himself, all drowned. After mourning for several weeks, Ducras unexpectedly disappeared in the night, and was last known to be heading towards the cliffs. A friend of his, a popular artist, painted the picture used above to represent the bleary feelings his friend had, and using a ducraer to represent the tragedy and the victim.



« Last Edit: 31 May 2008, 01:54:37 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: 02 January 2008, 04:48:17 »

Ah, I see a long lost son has returned to finally get to the Nightfog Cliffs :D And not only that, you seem to have more already uo your sleeve, Arin... Woo-hooo! :D

I will definitely give this a closer look soon as it is in "my" Manthrian region, so stay tuned for comments!
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« Reply #2 on: 02 January 2008, 05:07:03 »

I couldn't make my comeback without doing my original proposal!

As a side note, the Rocen Worm will soon be posted, as well as a first entry in one of my areas of interest.
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« Reply #3 on: 02 January 2008, 05:50:44 »

This is great, Arin!  Nice to see a well-written entry here, and ood to see you've done your research at Marduran, too!  You might also, however, want to look at Clendor, as there is a myth there which tells a story of how the cliffs came to be there.  It doesn't mention them by name, which is why it won't have come up in your search :P  You could link to it, reprint it in full, add a different version of the legend, or add a few legends of your own...

"It is believed the trees first grew on the island after being transported by birds" - You may want to reword this bit - sounds like the birds are carrying whole trees over! lol  Just putting a reference to seeds in there should do it  :)

"A young man, armed with a boat and little respect for the law..." - Two things here:  first, in Santharia we have a lot more gender equality than in your average medieval-esque fantasy world.  How about saying 'a fit person' instead.  Secondly, I'm not sure what the law would be on this sort of thing.  Might be better to say 'a loose interpretation of the law', or just 'a strong acquisitive mindset'.

"...as yet unidentified types of fish or marine life are present in these caves" - this bit sounds a bit scientific.  Maybe you could say 'strange water creatures', or 'unseen beasts of the water', or '...of the depths', or something like that, to give more of the fantasy flavour we prefer here.

"Unfortunately, due to the difficulty to reach these caves, and the fact that breathing underwater is difficult to achieve, the underwater caves have never been explored" - What about the Avennorians who can stay underwater for ages?  (See this entry, the paragraph just above housing which begins " Many Avennorians are also said to have special physical abilities".  Maybe change what you say to fit this - say that some of them have been explored, but not the deepest ones because even the pearl divers can't reach all the way inside all of them.

Additionally here, you might also say what, if anything, the pearl divers who have made it deepest into the caves have seen.  Anything interesting?  Any fish they haven't seen before?  Eels, octopi, a treasure-trove of pearls (now that would get an Avennorian going!), skeletons of pearl divers who went too deep, shadows, which might have been a monster...?  You could even have a quote from one or two of them, explaining in their own words what they saw, or didn't see...

Resources - In the Marduran entry we have it that the pearl divers are employed looking for the "...pearls and seafood which can be found on the offshore islands".  You should probably have these here, and perhaps say which areas pearls and shellfish are most likely found in.  Are they generally more on one side of the islands, or not around one particular island, or is it changeable?

It strikes me that the name of the cliffs might tell you a bit about the climate.  You could probably get really atmospheric here (or in the description section) describing the thick, soupy night-fogs.  If you decide to have them, have they caused any shipwrecks?  Are there any stories about who these are?  Are there any wrecks still visible, or worse, lurking under the waves to shred the keels of other ships?  Do pearls grow on them, or are they good spots for fishing?  What about treasure?   loveeyes

Fauna - Whoops, you forgot the birds you have in an earlier section here.  What types are they?  Sea-birds mostly?

Do we have any Merfolk here?  I know it says that they mostly live on the northern west coast, but this seems like such a nice place for them!  It would be up to you to decide if you can justify, or would want to have them here.

"it's oil and horns" - have a look at this link: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-its-and-its.htm  Otherwise it is a very well-written entry, Arin!  Let's just see some more detail put in and this will be an excellent entry!  clap
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« Reply #4 on: 02 January 2008, 06:15:24 »

Thanks for the comments, though I'm a little busy tonight (Making the groundwork for one other entry, and hopefully finishing another) I will ensure these suggestions have been incorporated into the entry by tomorrow night (GMT).

I'll also try to fix my "it's and its". While most of the time my grammar is good (I sound kinda vain there  undecided ) , I do need to fix that. For some reason, my English teachers have never pointed it out.

Thanks again!
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« Reply #5 on: 02 January 2008, 06:23:56 »

Mmh, I know the feeling: when you take pride in your writing, but there are one or two things it is hard to figure out buck  If it makes you feel better, I think the reason teachers don't emphasise it enough is because they aren't confident in it themselves!  It is easy enough when you can remember the contraction rule (it is = it's; belonging to 'it' needs no apostrophe) but without that it is difficult to just sort of 'know', I think.

No need to put time deadlines on your work; it's just nice to know we have a Manthrian place in the works again!  And from someone whose work it is a pleasure to read.  :)

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« Reply #6 on: 02 January 2008, 06:36:35 »

Thanks Grunok!

Just a note to say the Rocen Worm is up now, which is mentioned many a time in this entry.
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« Reply #7 on: 02 January 2008, 11:34:14 »

'The rare Rocen worm' suggests that there are a few of these beasts.

"The sole representative of its kind, the Rocen Worm" would be more accurate, at least as far as I can tell from your bestiary entry.  You could also consider giving it a name, since there is only one:  "Sailors have nicknamed this unique beast 'Old Rocfer' or 'Granfer Rocky'..."
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« Reply #8 on: 02 January 2008, 22:00:22 »

All current comments have been added.

Thanks!
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« Reply #9 on: 03 January 2008, 07:19:26 »

Might be good to spell-check this one now - there are a couple of wee mistakes (just typos, I'm sure).  Mostly, though, the spell-check might be good to help you weed out some of the wordiness of the new bits you have added! 

There are quite a few sentences, which go like this, with lots of commas, and kinda keep going, which make them hard to follow, when perhaps separating them, in to separate sentences, might be easier, to follow...

Vs.

There are quite a few sentences which are a bit heavy on comma use.  I found that this made them hard to follow; separating them in to sentences with closer to one comma a piece might be better.

Also, I notice a lot of gender-heavy language here:  fisherMen,  diving men, merMaids (perhaps a female pearl-diver met a merman!) Please could you go through and correct it to a more Santharian, gender-neutral language?  Thanks!
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« Reply #10 on: 03 January 2008, 20:21:47 »

I'll get right on it!

Arin.
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« Reply #11 on: 03 January 2008, 20:46:47 »

Spell-checked, Comma-reduced, and Gender-Neutral!

Ready for whatever is needed next!
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« Reply #12 on: 04 January 2008, 03:15:03 »

I'll check it tomorrow as well and see if we can mark it already for uploading then! :)
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« Reply #13 on: 04 January 2008, 04:03:56 »

Arin, the semi-colon is used to join two sentences, the same as 'and'.  I see you using them as more of a 'strong comma', which (except when used in lists) it is not.  Easy mistake to make, and another one which is easy (and ever-so-satisfying!) to get right when you know the rules. 

@Art:  I might just go through and do a quick Uri: I think Arin learns quickly, so the more we prod him, the better he will get  Big Grin

@Arin:  ;)

Edit:  Ok, here's the Uri-check!

Corrections in this fetching magenta
Comments and maunderings in a happy yellow
and unclear passages which I am just marking for you to fix without any specific guidance in Pikel-green



Overview.
The Nightfog cliffs are a series of small mountainous islands, situated in the Adanian Sea to the north-east of the port city of Marduran. The cliffs are a famed Blue Drake hunting ground, and are often visited by ships containing hunting parties. Marduran is the main staging ground for these hunts. The Rocen Worm, the sole member of its kind left, also has its home here. Fishermen and women tend to avoid this area, though not as fearfully as the Dead Fisherman's Grotto. It is believed that in the past the cliff was used as a smuggler's den of sorts, by the infamous smugglers that plague Marduran. However, due to the increased activity in the area by the drake hunting parties, this is much less common than previously. The cliffs are the subject of a small number of myths and stories, most including the Blue Drake.

Description.
The Nightfog Cliffs are exclusively covered in mountains What do you mean by this?  It gives me an idea of what it looks like (though I would say “look like great peaks rising from the sea” – covered in mountains sounds like the mountains are on top of something!) , other than one location. On the largest island, a plateau of sorts stands. I would split this paragraph here, and spend some time describing what it would be like to visit the place.  Where can you alight from your ship if you have come to hunt here?  Is there anywhere to tie up if it is your ship, or do you have to be dropped off?  What sounds might you hear once the ship is gone?  What is the terrain like?  Do you need special equipment, or can people with good balance hunt here without noisy ropes and things?  I would personally prefer the latter, otherwise it doesn’t make a very fun hunting ground.  Also, how often is the Blue Drake seen?  What does it look like, where is it thought to nest here?  Keep up that adventuresome atmosphere!  In Santharia, if a person was reading this entry, they would most likely be hunters hoping to look for the Urzash, so let’s give them all the information they need to succeed!  We’ve no animal conservationists here! buck

The cliffs are not thought to contain any worthy minerals to create mines, though occasionally a drunk sailor may concoct a story to the contrary, and for a few weeks gullible prospectors will visit the cliffs. The grey rock of the islands is infrequently broken up by patches of plants, though, for the most part, is bland and lifeless. Loose rocks litter the island, and avalanches have been recorded to happen on some of the larger cliffs. Each cliff is home to between two and four Better to say “a small handful” – the Cliffs cover a pretty huge area, so I would imagine a bit more variance. Tulmine Trees, though they tend to sit in awkward positions. It is believed the trees first grew on the island after their seeds were transported by birds. Smaller birds, such as gulls, are occasionally found nesting in this area, though the relative lack of food prevents the number from growing. Gulls eat fish.  No lack of food there :D

A wide bay known to local sailors as the “White Bay” for the color of the sand that covers the area, has been created by several of the islands.  The bay is rarely visited, the water within it only a fore or so deep, and jagged rocks lie under the water restricting passage. These jagged Better not to repeat jagged twice rocks feature all around the cliffs, some blocking passageways through the islands. These blocked passageways Could you describe this more clearly?  I don’t really get it… Are these man-made passageways?  How does blocking them allow boats to get in?  Are they watery?  You mean like sea-caves, or rivers? can often only be entered by rowboats, meaning they are ideal for smugglers, who frequent these otherwise seldom visited areas. Most of these areas caves are full of illegal or stolen goods, now wasting away due to having fallen from the crate they should be in  Did they all fall out?  Maybe some of them belong to smugglers who have died, or are in jail, or some are about to be picked up again at any moment…  And if it’s most caves, why haven’t the guards from Marduran picked it up?  I would say a few well-hidden caves. A fit person armed with a boat and a strong acquisitive mindset could make a living from finding and selling these items.

Caves line the cliffs; Here you can use a semi-colon. some above the sea level, some below.  This has led to speculation that several (-)as yet unknown types of fish or beasts of the water live in these caves. Unfortunately, due to the difficulty in reaching these caves, and the fact that breathing underwater is difficult to achieve, the deepest underwater caves have never been explored. Avennorian pearl divers have tried to get as deep as possible into these caves, hoping to become rich by finding great troves of pearls, or to be the first person to spy a new sea-creature. Few have been able to penetrate the caves to any great depth, but those who have (-)tell stories of octopi, sea-snakes, and some even tell of creatures(-)the like of which they had never seen before. It is possible these unknown creatures were figments of the divers’ imaginations - shadows, and the extreme depths causing disorientation - but it is hard to prove or disprove it. Those caves which lie above water are devoid of life, inhabited only by (what about the caves which fill with the tide?  They would certainly have the little things which grow in rock-pools, like sea anemones, kina, starfish, shellfish…)the Rockmoss that grows within them, and in one, the Rocen Worm. Some of the deeper caves reach up to two hundred peds into the cliffs: these are the ones in which one is most likely to spot ‘Old Rocky’.

Location.
The Nightfog Cliffs are situated off the east coast of Manthria, specifically beginning at Clendor Point and rising from under the Adanian Sea to the north-east. They continue in a line, until around two-thirds of their length, where they branch out into two rows. You could improve this sentence further by describing it like a mountain-chain.  Wikipedia could be a good resource for this (ust remember to drop any scientific terms) Each of these lines contains – you mean is made up of? several cliffs. There are around thirty five cliffs in all, although several are too small to truly count.  Cliffs are more the side of a landmass.  I would call them ‘islands’ for your purposes here.

Climate.
The Cliffs have a temperate climate, slightly colder than the coast it lies off of. The cliffs are covered with a thin blanket of snow during the weeks of winter. Throughout the rest of the year, mist covers some of the cliffs, and it often rains. While this water allows some plants to live, it also washes away small amounts of soil into the sea each year. In several hundred years, it is believed the  plant will be devoid of any plants other than the Rockmoss in the caves. In autumn, rainstorms ravage the cliff, which can cause any boats that have dared sail to the islands to be in great danger. The rocks underwater are nearly impossible to see in these conditions. During the night, the cliffs are shrouded with an impenetrable fog: hence the name of the cliffs. This fog has captured many fishing parties in its thick grasps, and the sea floor around the cliffs is littered with wrecks; some in the more shallow places present (-)a danger to other ships.

Flora.
Flora in the region is limited. A few clusters of Ptoria Weed cling to the cliffs, as do several Tulmine trees, both being hardy enough to stand the elevation and climate. Many of the caves and caverns of the cliffs are full of Rockmoss.  What about seaweed?

Fauna.
Other than Blue Drakes, some seabirds who nest in the few trees (Generally seabirds nest on cliffs.  Does it say anything about this in our bestiary?  Look up our gulls and other seabirds, see what we have and what they say.  Then you could be more specific about what species, and that will link in to other entries, which gets you brownie points!) , and a single Rocen Worm, nothing is known to live on the cliffs.  (What about in the caves, or on the beaches – rock-pools, etc.  Again, do your reasearch so you can make sure they are called the right, Santharian names.) However stories speak of other creatures living within the deep caverns of the isle. Researchers generally dismiss the stories as folklore, the “unexplained disappearances” being attributed to drowning, falling, or even starvation.   What are these stories?  Why don’t you “interview some locals” and write some of these down to go in the Myth-Lore section? The seabirds living among the isle are exclusively gulls, though, due to the gull's flock instinct, there are either many or none nesting at any point.

Resources.
The cliffs are thought to contain few if any minerals, certainly such trace amounts that a mine is not worth the work. Due to the limited fertile land, and the lack of minerals, settlement has never been attempted here. The only resources of note are those provided by the Blue Drake, such as its oil and horns. Underneath the cliffs the pearl divers report a normal amount of pearls in the area though, and occasionally you might see a pearl diving team taking a share of the sea's bounty. The pearls are relatively evenly distributed among the islands, although some of the islands further out tend to have better quality pearls. Seafood in the area, such as shellfish and plants, is quite common, though unlike the pearl giving oysters, water plants tend to congregate around the western side of the cliffs. This is possibly due to the slightly increased quality of the seabed there; tests tests?  Eep!  This is sounding my “science-alarm”!  :P  Why not say that the currents seem to be less violent there, or something similar.  Again, wikipedia is your friend.  Look up seaweeds or whatever you envision growing there, and see what conditions it likes. have shown plants in that area are able to grow much better than other areas.

Myth/Lore.
There are many stories of strange creatures living within the deep cavern system of the Nightfog Cliffs, though on the few expeditions ever sent to look for anything, nothing has been found. Many of these stories can be attributed to the Rocen Worm, which is known to live within the caverns. However, it is quite possible creatures do live in the caverns, providing the creatures within eat fish or water plants predominantly, as the Rocen Worm does. The worm has been nicknamed by sailors and divers alike, as "Old Rocky", or "Old Grandpa Worm".

[color=limegreenOne myth speaks of the cliffs possible origins, the myth of the wizard Clendor, who by cheating a demon, enraged it, and years later it sought revenge. Unfortunately, another demon was summoned by one of Clendor's apprentices, who fought back the first demon. In the end, the first demon defeated the second, though the first had to flee, weakened from the fight. As he fled across the sea, his feet kicked up the seabed, forming the Nightfog Cliffs, and other islands. The full story can be read in the Clendor Point article. [/color]

Merfolk are said to live here too. Pearl divers, usually when drunk on the coast, speak of meeting merfolk under the sea, and being captivated by their beauty. It is possible that they are just a story the divers say, though it would not be impossible that the Merfolk live here. The sea floor is ripe with food, and fish are common. The area has all the necessary ingredients for the recipe, in a manner of speech, though whether Merfolk live here or not is debatable.   


Well, hopefully that will help you get a feel for some of what I was meaning about the commas, and I found an extra gender-biased statement you’d missed :)  This is a good base entry, Arin.  Now I would like to see you to concentrate on creating an atmosphere for this place.  It will be good practice for the Barrows!

Another thing I could mention:  How about concentrating on just one or two entries at a time?  I notice you have quite a few things up at the moment.  Others are always waiting for comments, so when a person has lots of submissions up at once, it can take away from time that moderators and others can use commenting on other people’s work, or working on their own projects.  We have also found that it makes it less likely that the work on any particular entry will be done with the same care as if it was the only submission in the works at the time.

I hope that makes sense  :)  If you feel you have lots of time on your hands, try reading through your own entries as if you were a moderator, and see if you can see what you might be asked to do differently.  This is a great way to improve your writing. 

Another way to spend your time, one which is greatly appreciated by others, is to comment on other people’s submissions.  You don’t have to be a moderator to do this, and it doesn’t have to be long or involved, or find anything to be changed.  You can simply point out things which you like, or things which you would like to know more about, even if you don’t feel there is anything wrong with a submission!  Of course, comments on grammar, spelling and unclear ideas are always welcome, too, if you find things which might be better done another way.

Keep up the good work, Arin – but maybe try to rein in your enthusiasm to focus on completing one entry, and helping others, before starting more, eh?  :) 

« Last Edit: 04 January 2008, 06:04:08 by Grunok the Exile » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: 04 January 2008, 19:22:31 »

Ok, I've promised to take a look as well, so here are some comments from my side:

- General: We use ancient "British" spelling in our entries to give things a more medieval touch, which means that we write "colour" instead of "color" and similar stuff. You have a few "colors" in here you should correct - and just keep this spelling rule in mind for future entries, Arin :)

- Description: As I finished reading your Description part I noticed that something quite obvious wasn't mentioned neither in this section nor in the Overview. Seems you added it eventually to the Climate section. But just look at the name... ;) I would assume that the name "Nightfog Cliffs" makes it rather obvious that the cliffs are mostly covered with fog at night, which of course also adds an atmospheric touch. If you look e.g. at the Ciosa entry which is also in that region you'll find that fog is a rather common sight for the Avennorians and that they call the sea "The Foggy Old Lady". Fog is always a good helper to support ghost stories of any kind, so you might perhaps point to that in Myth/Lore. Maybe with the Rocen Worms moving around and making noises in the water people can get the impression that there really are the souls/spirits of dead sailors or something floating around there on these cliffs...

You mention also in the Climate section that shipwrecks litter the sea floor - surely there needs to be something visible on the cliffs as well of that to get a reference in the Description section! ;) Maybe there are even skeletons there? People might have survived a collison, but didn't manage it off the cliffs anymore...

- Location: You can make an estimate on how far the cliffs are away from the mainland (see Manthrian map with the scale shown to the bottom right of the map) - I'd say it's approximately 60 strals. And to give the whole thing proper dimensions, don't forget to mention how far the Cliffs stretch. You'll see that the whole things is a good deal over 100 strals in size (length and width), so this is pretty enormous. So that should definitely be in the entry to give people the perspective.

- Fauna: The Rocen worm is briefly mentioned. However, if I haven't read the Rocen entry I don't really get an idea what kind this beast is. E.g. what size it has, if these are more single creatures like drakes or if there's a whole lot of them. Some pointers would be ideal to give the reader at least a rough idea what awaits around these cliffs. Same with the blue drake. Could be explained a bit.

- Don't forget to look at Grun's latest check as well (I see she edited the post above, which now contains another Uri-Check). Thanks to Grunok for such in depth comments BTW, they are all in my line as well.

This is a very good entry already and soon to be uploaded :D But just don't start too many things at the same time, Arin, add more details here and there on the ones you've started and make it easier to finally put up.
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