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Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #15 on: 04 January 2008, 19:28:17 »

All points taken into consideration - I'll delay my "Ciosa's Rest" entry, and sort out this first!

Thanks for the comments, they'll be added / sorted out soon.

Arin.
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« Reply #16 on: 11 January 2008, 04:53:22 »

Have we scared you away now, Arin? Or have you got stress at school? ;) Anyway, if you can get to updating this one in the next week or so we can include it in the next update, so maybe you can find some time for it. We've progressed pretty far here already!

P.S. Upon looking through the picture resources we have I came across a picture by Ingeborg, this one:

(click on image to enlarge)



We might be able to use this one here with a bit of imagination and a little story attached to it - what do you think?
« Last Edit: 11 January 2008, 04:56:47 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #17 on: 13 January 2008, 01:48:41 »

School unfortunately...I've started two projects, each worth a full GCSE this week, started planning for another large project, and have to write one essay for next friday....as well as reviewing another nine...

Nevertheless, it's the weekend. So I can do some Santharia stuff. Sschool shouldn't be so bad in the next week or two....I should become more active by then.
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« Reply #18 on: 12 May 2008, 05:00:48 »

I be back!

That image looks great Artimidor, and I can easily throw that in as "A picture of the smaller islands at dusk" or as a "picture of a valley between two cliffs at dawn."

Also, this is a bump for comments....that's right, I updated this. All the comments thus far have been added. Expect more additions to my other entries soon.
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« Reply #19 on: 12 May 2008, 07:31:16 »

Hey!

Arin, I cannot believe it. Great minds think alike.  ;) I must confess, before I saw this I was hoping to write this entry up in the long run, because I had some great ideas for it. Unbelievable, but somehow yorealized almost all of them exactly as I envisioned them.

Might I bother you for one thing? That boat picture Arti picked out (I was gonna use it for this too. :P)
Can it be perhaps be drawn by an artist in Marduran in mourning after the death of his friend Ducras? This man (in the process of creating his bio) lost two children and a wife at sea in an accident after a ducraer the four of them were in flipped while off shore (sabotaged by competitors?) Anyway, he went out, unexplained one night to these cliffs, and never returned. Perhaps say that the artist who drew this, (not sure who yet) tried to draw this to explain his friend to the world, using the dreary coloring to show the public how his friend felt? Wth the boat in the picture representing the obvious. You could also mention that one of your "unexplained disspearences" was Ducras.

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty please? grin

Anyway, I may give this a full check later, though so far it looks great. I didn't reserve it in any way, so I obviously have no qualms about you writing it. (Saved me work and achieved the same thing . :P) May have one or two other ideas you might find use for... the Rocen worm thing is cool by the way.

Nice to meet you!
Dru
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Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


-Bob Dylan "Mr. Tambourine Man"
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #20 on: 12 May 2008, 14:53:07 »

Cool, Arin :D Glad to see you back as you have made some promising starts on entries and now it seems we can finally get them done - wooohooo!

I'm still dealing with the update today, so it will take some time until I can check this entry again, but I'm looking forward to it :D Hope you don't disappear within the next two days again ;)
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« Reply #21 on: 12 May 2008, 15:56:45 »

I hope I don't disappear too  :D

Drúadan, I'll write that in tonight....I'm just here for a few mins to check up before school, but then I'll get it added. And nice to meet you too!

Edit: Scrath that, I wrote in a quick version this morning...it's only quick, so it probably doesn't sound great, but critique whenever so it sounds more like you wanted  :)

Arin Woodwealth, Dalorin.
« Last Edit: 12 May 2008, 16:26:46 by Arin Woodwealth » Logged

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« Reply #22 on: 12 May 2008, 19:45:00 »

Yay!
*Hugs Arin*

I'll critique all of this tonight (hopefully), though it looks good. We are going to want to mention his name (Ducras). (He created the main fishing boat used throughout the coast, hes pretty famous. ;) ) But still this is a good start. I'll try to get a critique in tonight.

Bye...
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Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


-Bob Dylan "Mr. Tambourine Man"
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« Reply #23 on: 13 May 2008, 05:33:13 »

Hey!
Okay, I warn you know, I'm going to be nitpicky. Possibly overly so. But this entry is rather close to completion, (congrats!) and I want to make sure that these last few issues are worked out. As you will see by my comments later, the issue with the picture was confusing and I apologize, because I asked you to do one thing and am now asking you to do another. Sorry!

Either way, I must say that I enjoyed this entry immensely and that it was all I hoped it would be. The rocen worm is a great touch and all in all, good job! thumbup

If you are going to continue to work on (in?) the Adanian Sea in the future, I would be interested in teaming with you to work on some things there. We have absolutely no coral entries on the site, for example. (A problem which I am trying to solve right now.) And, eventually, the Sea itself will need a places entry. Perhaps, give it a little while, and we can continue to work togther to flesh out the coastline and ocean a lot more. How does that sound? Of course, no pressure if you were hoping to work somewhere else in the long run.

On to the URI...

The Nightfog Cliffs

Overview.
The Nightfog cliffs are a series of small mountainous islands, situated in the Adanian Sea. The cliffs are a famed Blue Drake hunting ground, and are often visited by ships containing hunting parties. Marduran is the main staging ground for these hunts. The Rocen Worm, the sole member of its kind left, also has its home here. Fishermen and women tend to avoid this area, though not as fearfully as the Dead Fisherman's Grotto. It is believed that in the past the cliff was used as a smuggler's den of sorts, by the infamous smugglers that plague Marduran. However, due to the increased activity in the area by the drake hunting parties, this is much less common than previously. The cliffs are the subject of a small number of myths and stories, most including the Blue Drake. Why was the smuggling only occurring in the past? As far as I know it continues today. Either way, make sure that your tenses match. (“plague” and “was used” don’t make sense.)

Image Caption.
An artist's depiction of the Nightfog Cliffs at dawn.

Description.
The Nightfog Cliffs are exclusively mountainous. Each island looks like a mountain peak rising from the sea. On the largest island, a plateau of sorts stands. Due to the general rockiness of the area, it is wise to bring certain supplies with you, especially if you are hunting the Blue Drake. A rope is always useful, though the noise you may generate shuffling up it may scare any prey away. It is worth bringing good boots, as these can be a good alternative to rope, allowing you to traverse up the cliffs making less noise. Food supplies are important, because you are unlikely to find any tasty sustenance once on the cliffs, if any at all.

As you move towards the peaks, you will notice the water becoming dangerously shallow, and occasionally a rock will stick up. Though it is unlikely you will be shipwrecked on the way to the cliffs, it has happened to unlucky sailors before. It is only once you are close to the islands the dangers begin. First, you must find a good mooring place for your boat. It must not be left to drift in a cove, as it is likely for it to be pushed away by currents, and hit a rock, leaving you with no way from the islands. For this reason, many teams arrange a pick up time with a sailor, ensuring that someone knows they are out there. Once on the island, you may begin wondering why you came. The ground is ridiculously tricky to navigate without a good sense of balance; many hunting teams have lost a member at this early stage. However, if you carefully move along the peaks, you will soon get used to how to move, and the risk of falling is reduced.

The Blue Drake normally resides in the water, though occasionally will go onto the land to hide in the mud from the sun. It is at this point you must find it, when it is resting. There are several telltale signs of where the Blue Drake has been. You may find, globules of mud leaving a trail. This is the mud the dragon has slept in, and, as it flies away from its resting point, the mud will fall down, leaving wide splatters of dirt. Following these trails along will help you find the mud pools the drake often shelters in. These pools are often located in small valleys, ten to twenty peds up from the sea. Waiting by these pools is a surefire way to find a drake, though it may take several days. Other than this, blind luck is required to spot a drake. The drake is seen once every two weeks or so, so be prepared to wait that time before you find one. You continually stress that the ground is treacherous and rocky, but then go on to talk about drakes resting in mud. While I agree you need the mud, you need to perhaps mention that the smaller valleys have actual dirt, which would allow you to expand your flora…

The cliffs are not thought to contain any worthy minerals to create mines, though occasionally a drunk sailor may concoct a story to the contrary, and for a few weeks gullible prospectors will visit the cliffs. The grey rock of the islands is infrequently broken up by patches of plants, though, for the most part, is bland and lifeless. Loose rocks litter the island, and avalanches have been recorded to happen on some of the larger cliffs. Each cliff is home to between two and four Tulmine Trees, though they tend to sit in awkward positions. It is believed the trees first grew on the island after their seeds were transported by birds. Smaller birds, such as gulls, are occasionally found nesting in this area, though the relative lack of good nesting space prevents the number from growing. You keep mentioning the island. Which Island are we talking about exactly? Don’t believe you’ve mentioned any specific main body of land yet, and as drawn on the map they look much more like just cliffs or mountains. Maybe this is just me, but island tends to imply something a little flatter… more inhabitable ya know?

A wide bay known to local sailors as the “White Bay” for the colour of the sand that covers the area, has been created by several of the islands.  The bay is rarely visited, the water within it only a fore or so deep, and jagged rocks lie under the water restricting passage. These pointed rocks feature all around the cliffs, some blocking the way between certain islands, by having two sets of rocks at either entrance to the gap. These blocked passageways can often only be entered by rowboats, meaning they are ideal for smugglers, who frequent these otherwise seldom visited areas. Chance to tie this down to Santharia. How about mentioning the Ducraer instead of rowboats? Small primarily fishing boat used commonly off the mithral coast. I am biased cause I wrote half of it but there you are. ; Several of the most well-hidden of these area's caves are full of illegal or stolen goods, now wasting away due to having fallen from the crate they should be in. Question A: Why do you again imply the smuggling has stopped? Question B: Even if it has long since stopped, why has such a large collection of goods, enough for someone to live on, been left in these caves? Smugglers don’t usually just leave things once they’re that close to shore, and if they did they probably would be long since gone. Maybe washed away, maybe taken away gold rushesque, but not there anymore. A fit person armed with a boat and a strong acquisitive mindset could make a living from finding and selling these items.

It is not uncommon to see a shipwreck under the water, or even on a beach. The cliffs seem to almost collect these wrecks as trophies, and they often lie in very visible places. Around them, you will often see a skeleton or two; the unfortunate souls who dared invoke the wrath of the area, and didn't make it out alive. The bones are almost always picked clean, every scrap taken by the birds and crabs of the islands. Crabs eat skin off bones? Who would’ve thunk it… I didn’t know…

Caves line the cliffs, some above the sea level, some below. This has led to speculation that several - as yet unknown - types of fish or beasts of the water live in these caves. Unfortunately, due to the difficulty in reaching these caves, and the fact that breathing underwater is difficult to achieve, the deepest underwater caves have never been explored. Avennorian pearl divers have tried to get as deep as possible into these caves, hoping to become rich by finding great troves of pearls, or to be the first person to spy a new sea-creature. Few have been able to penetrate the caves to any great depth, but those who have tell stories of octopi, sea-snakes, and some even tell of creatures the like of which they had never seen before. It is possible these unknown creatures were figments of the divers’ imaginations - shadows, and the extreme depths causing disorientation - but it is hard to prove or disprove it. Above water, rockpools dot the caves, small animals, such as starfish, kina, anemones and shellfish, all make their homes in these pools. Those caves which lie above water are almost devoid of life, inhabited only by the Rockmoss that grows within them, the creatures living in the rockpools, and the Rocen Worm. Some of the deeper caves reach up to two hundred peds into the cliffs: these are the ones in which one is most likely to spot ‘Old Rocky’.

At night, the cliffs are shrouded in sea-mist, which is how the cliffs received their current name. Every year or so, a ship is cut down while attempting to traverse the area at night. The fog, combined with shallow water and spiked rocks, is a dangerous combination. The mist has a slightly green-grey quality to it, aiding the peaks mysterious quality.

At dawn and dusk, when the fog is not so thick, the cliffs are an extremely tranquil place. Nothing moves, and the only sound is of silence, or birds singing a chorus.Okay, do you mean to imply that the seabirds are being rather noisy or that you have some kinds of nicer-sounding birds residing in your cliffs? Either way, the choice of silence or a loud chorus of birds seems pretty contrasting. I would pick one or the other. Either they are dead silent, or noisy with the heavy waves and cawing (singing?) birds. The picture above is a picture of the cliffs at such a time. It was painted by an artist in Marduran, in mourning of his friend, Ducras, who mysteriously disappeared into the cliffs, and his friend's family, who all were drowned in a boating accident. The artist chose to paint it at this time to try to capture the bleary, dull emotions his friend was feeling at the time.
I’m sorry Arin, but I’ve confused myself and you. It seems odd to stick this in, because while he did die out at these cliffs, it seems an odd thing to include a picture about just one guy. May I offer an alternate? I would suggest either including the following caption in green, or nixing this and just mentioning that Ducras was one of the unexplained dissapearences.
This is picture, drawn by a well known artist, depicts a small Ducraer tied down on the rocky shore of one of these cliffs. The picture is well known to be in mourning of the Ducraer builder Ducras, who was lost near the cliffs in a mysterious, yet unexplained way.
Haven’t yet come up with a name for this artist. Perhaps we can add it in later. For now, I would suggest including this picture and possibly finding another place for it. It might fit better in the myth/lore section when you talk of dissapearences.


Location.
The Nightfog Cliffs are situated off the east coast of Manthria, specifically beginning at Clendor Point and rising from under the Adanian Sea to the north-east. They continue in a line, not unlike a mountain chain, until around two-thirds of the way, where they branch out into two rows. Each of these lines contains several islands. There are around thirty five islands in all, although more are there, they are too small to truly count. Again, why the word “islands”? The entire mountain range is around sixty strals from the coast, from which point it continues for around hundred strals north east, then turning northwest for another forty strals. At this point they begin to thin in number, and get progressively smaller, until they are little more than glorified islands. The massive size of the cliffs makes them a major landmark for sailors, who can see them from strals away, and as a hideout or warehouse for thieves, who use the caves often to hide illicitly gained goods.

Climate.
The Cliffs have a temperate climate, slightly colder than the coast it lies off of. During the winter weeks, the cliffs are covered with a thin blanket of snow. Changed wording to remove repetition of “the cliffs”. Throughout the rest of the year, mist covers some of the cliffs, and it often rains. While this water allows some plants to live, it also washes away small amounts of soil into the sea each year. Okay, there is soil, just mention it more fully in the description. I got the image that it was entirely rock. In several hundred years, it is believed the cliffs will be devoid of any plants other than the Rockmoss in the caves. In autumn, rainstorms ravage the cliff, which can cause any boats that have dared sail to the islands to be in great danger. The rocks underwater are nearly impossible to see in these conditions. During the night, the cliffs are shrouded with an impenetrable fog: hence the name of the cliffs. Is this year round or only during those autumn rains? This fog has captured many fishing parties in its thick grasps, and the sea floor around the cliffs is littered with wrecks; some in the more shallow places present a danger to other ships.

Flora.
Flora in the region is limited. A few clusters of Ptoria Weed cling to the cliffs, as do several Tulmine trees, both being hardy enough to stand the elevation and climate. Many of the caves and caverns of the cliffs are full of Rockmoss.

Underwater, however, the story changes completely. Seaweed of all kinds litters the seabed, especially on the west side of the cliffs. These plants, all of which seem to have an individual colour from the rest, crowd around each other, almost as if they were competing for certain spaces. While it is by no means full to the brim with sea plants, the seafloor has a great amount of life in this region.

Fauna.
Other than Blue Drakes, the smaller cousins of dragons, some seabirds who nest in the cliffs, and a single Rocen Worm, a terror-inspiring giant worm, nothing much else is known to live on the cliffs. However stories speak of other creatures living within the deep caverns of the isle. Researchers generally dismiss the stories as folklore, the “unexplained disappearances” being attributed to drowning, falling, or even starvation.  The seabirds living among the isle are exclusively gulls, though, due to the gull's flock instinct, there are either many or none nesting at any point.

In some of the lower caves, those that are regularly flooded by the tide, rock pools are common. Small water creatures live in these pools, ranging from tiny anemones and starfish to some of the smaller kinds of shellfish. On the beaches crabs are often found, enjoying their latest meal, or just trying to avoid the gulls.

Resources.
The cliffs are thought to contain few if any minerals, certainly such trace amounts that a mine is not worth the work. Due to the limited fertile land, and the lack of minerals, settlement has never been attempted here. The only resources of note are those provided by the Blue Drake, such as its oil and horns. Underneath the cliffs the pearl divers report an average number of pearls in the area though, and occasionally you might see a pearl diving team taking a share of the sea's bounty. The pearls are relatively evenly distributed among the islands, although some of the islands further out tend to have better quality pearls. Seafood in the area, such as shellfish and plants, is quite common, though unlike the pearl giving oysters, water plants tend to congregate around the western side of the cliffs. This is possibly due to the slightly increased quality of the seabed there. It is known plants in that area are able to grow much better than other areas, and the underwater currents there are weaker than elsewhere, having been diverted by the cliffs.

Myth/Lore.
There are many stories of strange creatures living within the deep cavern system of the Nightfog Cliffs, though on the few expeditions ever sent to look for anything, nothing has been found. Many of these stories can be attributed to the Rocen Worm, which is known to live within the caverns. However, it is quite possible creatures do live in the caverns, providing the creatures within eat fish or water plants predominantly, as the Rocen Worm does. The worm has been nicknamed by sailors and divers alike, as "Old Rocky", or "Old Grandpa Worm". However, it doesn't seem likely sailors will ever stop believing in the monsters.

Several inhabitants of Marduran have made their voices heard on this matter. Geirloff Joran has voiced his opinion on the caves:
"I dive for pearls regu'ly. And I've bin in the caves in t' depths. And they have creatures in 'em! I've seen great snakes in there, more'n two or three peds long, but only a few nailsbreadths thick. Its teeth were longer than it wa' wide, they stuck out by a little. I'm sure if the thing had wanted to kill me, it could have. It could have wrapped itsel' aroun' me and poked me neck open with its fangs!". Other divers however, say to the contrary. Fjules Anrikjor also dives for pearls, and says she believes nothing in there would ever harm her.
"I've been in those caves, deeper than most. All I ever seen in there were these red fish, some weird sea plants, and a few shellfish. The oysters in the deeper caves grow bigger than the ones nearer the surface though. I guess I could make a fortune down there!"

One myth speaks of the cliffs possible origins, the myth of the wizard Clendor, who by cheating a demon, enraged it, and years later it sought revenge. Unfortunately, another demon was summoned by one of Clendor's apprentices, who fought back the first demon. In the end, the first demon defeated the second, though the first had to flee, weakened from the fight. As he fled across the sea, his feet kicked up the seabed, forming the Nightfog Cliffs, and other islands. The full story can be read in the Clendor Point article.

Merfolk are said to live here too. Pearl divers, usually when drunk on the coast, speak of meeting merfolk under the sea, and being captivated by their beauty. It is possible that they are just a story the divers say, though it would not be impossible that the Merfolk live here. The sea floor is ripe with food, and fish are common. The area has all the necessary ingredients for the recipe, in a manner of speech, though whether Merfolk live here or not is debatable.   

Ghosts of sailors who have been shipwrecked near the cliffs are believed to inhabit the islands. These souls of the departed have never been reported (Other than in drunken sailors exaggerated tales) to cause any harm, or even to take an interest in alive visitors to area. The ghosts are rumoured to suddenly appear from the fog, then after a few minutes, vanish into the fog as quickly as they appeared. Not all the people in the area believe this though, as Fjules has to say: "What would be the point of hauntin' the area? I could understand it if they 'ad all died 'cause of a drake or a monster, or been murdered or somet'ing, but most o' them weren't. I s'pose at most there could be a few....but no more than that."



Reiterating what I said before Arin... Great Entry, keep it up!  thumbup

Other sceptics of the ghost stories point out that the thrashing of the Rocen Worm could make a blast of air, moving the fog away from a group of adventurers, rather than ghosts.
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Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


-Bob Dylan "Mr. Tambourine Man"
Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #24 on: 13 May 2008, 06:26:43 »

Thanks a lot!

All that has been added, though a few were ignored...the islands thing in particular. If not islands, then what? Mountains possibly, though I think there is a special word for a mountain rising from the sea. Nevertheless, if a better alternative is given, I will change it. Also, just to highlight:

The cliffs are not thought to contain any worthy minerals to create mines, though occasionally a drunk sailor may concoct a story to the contrary, and for a few weeks gullible prospectors will visit the cliffs. The grey rock of the islands is infrequently broken up by patches of plants, each in its own little pile of dirt, though, for the most part, is bland and lifeless.

Thanks again!

Arin Woodwealth

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« Reply #25 on: 13 May 2008, 07:16:04 »

Ah, missed the dirt. Was looking all over too... But thanks for taking my comments into account so quickly. Not sure what word I wanted for the islands... I'll think on it. ;)

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Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


-Bob Dylan "Mr. Tambourine Man"
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« Reply #26 on: 15 May 2008, 05:04:34 »

Just looked over it again, and I have to say: This is really a great entry, Arin! It was already great before these final revisions, but it really is thorough as thorough can be I think. The thing with Ducras could perhaps be moved to (or mentioned as well in) the Myth/Lore section, but other than that I'm exceptionally excited about this one :) - Especially as it is your very first offical entry as well, Arin, and you have plans on more... - Well, sure, it took quite a while until we could get this one finished, but hey, it was worth the wait! - If Grun's magical powers of reviving seemingly lost members through songs or poems work at other people as well, I'm curious who'll appear next... lol

So, in short: Blue arrow awarded, it it well deserved! I'm looking forward to your next work, I hope you will try to get to those Deep Julin Barrows sooner or later!  thumbup
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
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« Reply #27 on: 16 May 2008, 04:34:03 »

Arti - I'm planning to finish off all the works in order - ending with the Deep Julin Barrows. However, I might skip a couple to get to Ciosa's Rest quicker  grin . After that, I might try to do some stuff on the RP Board (I notice that Nyermersys is barren at the moment), or just hang around this side, and do some Manthrian entries.

Arin Woodwealth, planning too far ahead  :D
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« Reply #28 on: 16 May 2008, 05:06:50 »

Just a quick post!

Arti, I added a bit to the Myth/Lore.

Thanks for all the praise!

Arin Woodwealth, I can't think of a good thing to put here this time.
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