* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: 1 [2] 3
Print
Author Topic: The Serphelorian Army - The Order of Seyella  (Read 13311 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Grunok the Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 19
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 622



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #15 on: 24 January 2008, 05:10:42 »

It will also need to be regularly updated - how will that work?  Especially when Judy and I run around creating new minerals  lol
Logged

Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #16 on: 24 January 2008, 05:16:40 »

Well, yeah, that needs to be organized - and if something like that happens it needs to be at least collected somewhere so that we won't forget to add it in at some point.
Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Grunok the Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 19
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 622



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #17 on: 12 February 2008, 05:26:44 »

*Bump*  This has languished for a few weeks now.  Comments would be appreciated, especially around its readability.  Is it too complex or confusing?  If so, do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve it?  Is there anything you particularly like?  Dislike?  Don't say the outfits - that's not my fault!  lol
Logged

Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #18 on: 12 February 2008, 05:29:11 »

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know... I'm lazy! lol Yeah, I'll see to check it within the next day(s).
Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Grunok the Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 19
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 622



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #19 on: 12 February 2008, 07:40:26 »

 grin  I didn't mean you, Art - I know you will get to this when you can!  I was actually hoping that some other devvie might like to give it a look over... I feel like you, the Bard and I are the only ones who like my Serphelorians  cry  :P   I was hoping that this might get some of our apprentices to do a bit more commenting in areas which aren't necessarily in their normal areas of expertise, too... 

*cracks whip*  Commenting is good, apprentices!
Logged

Rookie Brownbark
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 71
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1.137


Researcher of all Things Brownie


View Profile
« Reply #20 on: 13 February 2008, 04:50:42 »

 shocked  Yes Grunok ma'am!  *shuffles off to nitpick to hearts content*

Hmm, well, I didn't get to read it all the way to the end, but I would say it's perfectly understandable and lovely to read.  Your sentences have nice rhythum :)  I did find a couple of sentences I would change.  Two.  In quite a lot of sentences.

Dependent on the rank of the Seyelite, this service might be as uninspiring as guarding the exterior of the Santhran’s Palace or standing as a ceremonial guard in one of the labyrinthine corridors of the palace; as important as guarding the royal stores or treasury or serving as a guard to a particular member of the court; or for Champions of the army, a Seyelite could even be called to the distinguished role of becoming a personal guard to the Santhran. <---- Could do with splitting into two sentences.

While it may look ill-defended, most are aware of the troops who guard the camp with strict vigilance by both day and night.  <----- I don't think "by both" sounds quite right.

Hope that helps!

Edit:  Maybe you could put something in the overview about them all being women?  You get hints throughout the piece, but people reading it might not necessarily have read the other entry.
« Last Edit: 13 February 2008, 04:54:31 by Rookie Brownbark » Logged

Diminutive and crunchable
Brownie Board
Development Schedule

Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #21 on: 13 February 2008, 05:34:28 »

I've read most of it now - though this is really a massive entry that even exceeds various detailed tribe entries methinks... lol But I guess one cannot do it much more detailed than this, Grun! :D - A few comments from my side:

- Good distinction here between Seyelites (army) and Seyellans (clerics), guess this is also pretty easy to remember.

- I like that idea, that the Seyelites try not to keep this protection business to themselves, but actually see to spread it. In general having a term for the protecting they do, katmoh, is also cool. A name gives the whole thing also a new meaning.

Quote
In some cases that price has been to become a Seyelite oneself at some agreed future time, so that one may gain the skills to in turn protect others.

- "feif" should be "fief" BTW

- "All women are equal in the Stonedale" - Do we have that already posted in Proverbs and Sayings?

- That some Xathinins also shave their hair off is also an interesting touch. Sigourney Weaver in Alien also "kicks ass" as the saying goes, so that brings good associations!

- Organization: The paragaphs we'll present on the site by putting them behind bullets, as each of them deals with an aspect, so we should have captions on top of each. Here and there this could be a bit ordered in the section for easy grabbing.

- I also found that "Allocation in to Bivili" part rather interesting on how the Kaiar-je decide what to do with the girls - by simply observing interactions and seemingly harmless game situations. Lovely idea.

- The Stonedale penalty is also cool, and with it we also get that location and its purpose defined. It seems also to be interesting in terms of making good stories possible with the constellations there. Intriguing scenario for sure...

Ok, I'm pretty much through with checking it (though I only skimmed some paragraphs here and there), but this is just cool stuff! THe only problem with it is that its length scares commentors away, as it takes a lot of time to read through it, but the more it shows how much effort you've put into this brillant entry. Wonderful job, Grun, it's perfect the way it is :D - And I see we're still not done with our Sephelorians, we still got Language and History to get on the site. Well, one after the other... ;)
Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Grunok the Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 19
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 622



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #22 on: 13 February 2008, 09:57:58 »

Commeeeents!  Yay, thanks, Rookie!  hug  Changes are in orchid.  I couldn't think of how to put the bit about them all being women any more elegantly, so if you have ideas about how I could make that sound better, they would be appreciated.

And thank you, too, Mr. Federkiel *checks spelling* *mutters I think that's right:P  Your changes are in orange.  I went for more generic titles for the paragraphs so that people who didn't remember, f.e., if an elite warrior was called a Xaukyar or a Xau-va-Feara or an X-something else, could find them easily.  And a misspelling!  shocked Oh no!  Hehe.  I have corrected that, but it's one I have trouble remembering...  I though I spell-checked it too...  :D  I'm glad you liked the bit about how they pick girls for the bivili - I though it seemed a logical way to do it, given their history. 

Can I just check that everyone things that the bit about Mt. Rangwer's nickname (see the second-to-last paragraph in 'Territory') isn't going to offend anyone?  I just want to make certain...
Logged

Trelstahl
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 125



View Profile
« Reply #23 on: 13 February 2008, 11:52:25 »

Hi Grun,

Very nicely written, Grun!   :)  I see what you mean about my Thaelrin entry not being that long - this one took a few sittings to read through to allow me to make some comments.  Thing is - you write really well, so I can't even nitpick.   thumbup   

:snerk: "Old Tit-Freezer"  This doesn't bother me, but there are some young'uns about.  I'll let the censors deal with that one.  Its a good thing the Serphelorians are a matriarchical society.  I can imagine what the Erpheronians might have called it.   shocked

The one thing that struck me about the entry as possibly needing some commentary on was the geographical placement of the Order.  Obviously the Seyellan Order requires a base of operations, yet at the same time they are responsible for the entire area of Sanguia, which you do mention.  Does this mean that the Order has outposts or keeps around the province, or do they have to send troops out from Clymnios whenever necessary?

Cheers!

Trel.
Logged
Eoranna Melor
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 13



View Profile
« Reply #24 on: 13 February 2008, 14:13:36 »

Ahh, perhaps this is why it's taking a bit longer for my character to be approved!  She was raised by Serphelorians.  Didn't realize they were such a newly developed race!  I will read the entry when I get the chance and see what comments I can make. :-)  From what I've read so far, I like it!

Edit: Will start perusing...as soon as I get some munchies...

Edit: Munchies acquired... Commencing read...
« Last Edit: 13 February 2008, 18:23:53 by Eoranna Melor » Logged
Eoranna Melor
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 13



View Profile
« Reply #25 on: 13 February 2008, 20:33:19 »

I really enjoyed reading over it.  One thing I thought was that, if anyone were to try to make a Serphelorian character, it would be hard for the character NOT to be overpowered!  They're just too freakin' cool!  Enjoyed seeing stuff to implement into my CD, too!  Thanks!

And now the full run down...  Sorry for the long post...my spell checker kept picking up all the British spellings... like colour, etc...hopefully I didn't mark any of those...

I also made a few stylistic suggestions that make the read a little smoother.  Hopefully they make sense and are of help!

Comments are in BLUE!!!

Overview
The Serphelorian Army is known more commonly around the Santharian kingdom as the Santhran’s Order of Seyella, and is one of the Orders through which the Santhran governs his or her kingdom.  They are sometimes called ‘the Seyelites’ or ‘the Seyelite Army’ (to distinguish them from Seyellans, who are clerics of Seyella) or ‘the Serphelorians’ in reference to their tribal affiliation.  Because of the customs of the Serphelorian tribe the way the Serphelorian tribe is, Seyelites are almost all women.

The Serphelorian way of thinking requires and venerates protection of the weak (a concept called ‘katmoh’), and as such, the Order of Seyella is well known for personal protection services.  Defending is a concept which is deeply anchored in the soul of Serphelorian warriors, and it is well known that their faith in the Goddess of Destiny makes them unafraid to give their life, should the Goddess demand such a sacrifice. 

The Order of Seyella is a large Order – it can have over a thousand members at one time You mean active duty, right?  If 1000 is the total size of the Serphelorian army, that’s really not that large. This is because the Army is such an integral part of the Serphelorian tribe’s culture; it is perhaps the final bastion of the traditional, matriarchal and martial ways, and is a proving ground for young Serphelorian I’d just say Serphelorians. Flows better, I think. people.  The Order is also a great source of pride for Serphelorians (them) , as they are able to use their strength to be a part of protecting the whole kingdom.


Purpose and Activities
The main activity of the Order of Seyella, like that of the other Santhran’s Santhran’s other Orders, is preserving stability within a given area. In the case of the Seyelites, this area is Sanguia.  As the various Thanes, Dukes or Duchesses and Gravens are responsible for their own areas or  sub-areas, this mostly includes sending supplementary troops where and when needed.  This also often fulfills a secondary function of the Order: being visible, as a reminder of the Santhran’s power, should any of his or her vassals contemplate a lapse in their loyalty to the kingdom.

As with all (the) Santhran’s Orders, each member of the Order of Seyella will spend some periods of their time serving as a guard to the Santhran’s Court.  Dependent on the rank of the Seyelite, this service might be as uninspiring as guarding the exterior of the Santhran’s Palace or standing as a ceremonial guard in one of its labyrinthine corridors (of the palace) I’d remove this; (or) as important as guarding the royal stores or treasury or serving as a guard to a particular member of the court.  For Champions of the army, a Seyelite could even be called to the distinguished role of becoming a personal guard to the Santhran.  The elite who are invited to fill this role can, in time, and if they prove themselves as sharp of mind as of sword, become permanent advisors to the Santhran. 

Other official business to which the Seyelites may attend can include guarding buildings or people in Sanguia.  This type of duty normally only arises when a person requires a guard loyal to the Santhran, rather than to any local lord.  Sometimes this is for reasons of intrigue – for example, if a lord whose guard would usually be used has taken a particular dislike to the person to be guarded – or it may merely be so that the rank of the guards is commensurate with the importance of the person or thing being protected.  In addition, should the Santhran need to wage a war, the Order of Seyella would be completely mobilized Spelling is “mobilized” and would serve as one of the key units of a united Santhran’s Army, along with the other Santhran’s Orders and any other groups who would fight for Santharia.
 
The unusually large size of the Order of Seyella, the typically plentiful numbers of troops of the Santhran’s Sanguian vassals, and the fact that other Orders share the duties of protecting the Santhran’s Court, means that at any given time many Seyelites are not required for formal duties.  Those who have no official business to attend to may accept paid contracts from people who require protection of some sort – usually merchants, nobles or otherwise prominent people. 

Poorer people who cannot pay the Order’s asking price also sometimes request the services of the Seyelites.  The Serphelorians’ moral code of katmoh, which is particularly strongly felt by their army, demands that all these requests be considered.  Many such contracts are in fact accepted; (.) however, a price is always demanded, whether in gold or in labour.  In some cases that price has been to become a Seyelite oneself at some agreed future time, so that one may gain the skills to in turn protect others.  Furthermore, it is said that the help of Seyellan clerics is often requested by the army to help discern the need of these supplicants, so that only people who are not merely trying to take advantage of the Order, and are truly in need of protection, are ever aided in this way.

To supplement the income granted to the Order by the Santhran, the Seyelites run a quarry in the Stonedale, a source of a dark, quartz-veined stone called "grey-gleam", "greywhacke" (a mispronunciation of the ThergerimTaal), or by those working in the quarry, "grey whack".  This quarry is heavily guarded by members of the Order, and criminals from the fief of which Clymnios is a part are sent there (for a fee paid by the Graven to the Order) to serve their time.  Perhaps strangely, members of the Order who are to be punished are also sent there.  Such is the liberal way in which punishments are handed out that all members of the Order can expect to spend at least one day in the quarry.  It is even relatively common for officers to be found labouring here, whether as part of a punishment, or, as has happened occasionally, as the result of a lost bet!  This eventuality has given rise to the saying that “all women are equal in the Stonedale”.


Territory
The Order of Seyella is based just outside the town of Clymnios in Sanguia, on the opposite side of the Rimmerins Ring to the Eyelian Order of the Wings.  Almost the entire town is devoted to some aspect of feeding, clothing, and of course entertaining these women and men.  Multiple tanners and weapons smithies compete for the Seyelite san, showing arms and armour of the highest quality, often for should be “at” not “for” I believe relatively low prices.  Taverns and bawdy-houses line the streets, and farms blanket the areas around Seyelite lands, striving to supply both the Order and the places of entertainment the Seyelites love to patronise “patronize” .

The Order itself is housed in a large complex of Serphelorian-style round buildings an hour’s ride away from the town.  Barracks, training rooms and courtyards, a large officers’ complex and a vast parade ground are laid out in a perfectly planned arrangement across a large paved stretch of unwalled ground.  While it may look ill-defended, most are aware of the troops who guard the camp with strict vigilance, day and night.

The Seyelites also administer the Rangwer Warden, along with several other watch towers in the area under their ward.  Bullspoll lake to the south, Scythe Grove forest to the west, those parts of the North Horn plain which aren’t farmed, the rubbly Stonedale and its quarry, and the foothills of the Rimmerins Ring are all used in various sorts of training exercises – sometimes startling travellers “travelers” passing through these parts.  The Ring mountains themselves have also been used for training, especially in preparation for missions in “to” colder climes.  This has left a number of the peaks with some rather less than polite nicknames, of which “Old Tit-Freezer”, referring to Mount Rangwer, is perhaps the most polite!

The Order of Seyella is associated with the area of Sanguia, in the same way as the Order of the Wings functions in Manthria.  This system of moving Santhran’s Orders belonging to certain tribes to nearby regions, rather than allowing them to function in the areas they come from, has helped tribes understand their neighbours better.  It also makes it more likely that the Order members will honour their vow to their liege, the Santhran, by avoiding divided loyalties.


People and Appearance
Not all Seyelites are people of the Serphelorian tribe, but almost all come from areas in which Serphelorian customs are predominant.  People from other areas often feel uncomfortable with the bawdy but focussed “focused” culture in “of” the Order, and the occasionally sexist behaviour which can be found in many of the women here.  The Order of Seyella was originally the Serphelorian Army: an army of fierce-eyed, blue-tattooed, scantly armoured female warriors.  They look fairly similar in current times, even down to the large blue tattoos on their arms, necks or faces - although not all women choose to be tattooed in these times repeat of the word “times”

Clothing    The uniform for this Order consists of a short skirt made of heavy leather pieces, high leather boots, and bindings to secure the breasts during vigorous movement, in a strong toccon fabric dyed in the colour of the woman’s bivil (the bivili are the four sections or ‘arms’ into which the Order is divided).  This outfit seems silly and provocative to some who have never seen it before, but those who have fought with or against these women know that each item serves a purpose, and is perfectly tailored for jakatya, the Serphelorian fighting style.  Hair is typically worn in the normal style for this tribe, although some Xathinins who have formed a fanatical Seyella-worshipping group shave their hair completely off, often exposing tattoos atop their bald pates.

The short skirt is made of pieces of hardened leather sewn on to a circle of dense cloth to allow easy movement.  At rest, each piece of leather meets the next perfectly; I would make this a new sentence. when in motion, the cloth allows the skirt to flare out as much as is needed.  The pieces are studded with iron to aid the leather in deflecting blows to this area.  The waistband of the skirt is wide, allowing warriors to display any badges they have won for bravery or katmoh (protecting the weak).  The high boots protect the calves and the kneecaps – areas that Serphelorians are apt to target on their opponents.  The breast bindings allow the freedom of movement that enables a woman fighting with the Serphelorian technique to protect herself better than she could be protected even if she wore an iron breastplate.  The cloth of the binding is wrapped from the back, crossed at the front, and tied at the back of the neck.  The fabric hides ingenious hardened leather cups, lined with a soft fabric, which reduce movement I know what you mean, but in the previous sentence you are talking about “freedom of movement” and provide further protection to the fighter.

Cloaks in the colour of the warrior’s bivil and leather lace-up leggings are also regularly worn, especially in winter.  Hardened leather arm protectors, thigh protectors and helms are sometimes used to supplement the protection offered by the traditional clothing, but to wear these brings taunts from many – it is seen as a sign that a warrior is not fast enough to avoid blows that one more skilled in jakatya could evade.  Off duty or for formal occasions, fabrics dyed in the colour of the warrior’s bivil can be fashioned in to short skirts and bindings, although many wear their uniform at “on” all but the most important occasions. 

Rank Signs    Champions, Firsts, Xau-va Feara and the High Seyelite may wear a green cloak bearing the coat of arms of the Order on formal occasions, or a plain green cloak when on duty.  These groups also wear grey breast bindings as part of their uniform; the lighter the grey colour, the higher the rank. 

Firsts’ formal wear incorporates a long skirt in their bivil’s colour to differentiate them from ordinary xau-va; the High Seyelite wears a similarly long skirt, but one which incorporates the colours of all four bivili, whether in stripes, sections, or some other kind of pattern.  Skirts of High Seyelites at formal occasions over the years have often given interesting indications of where the favour of the High Va lies: if she is sitting on the only white part, the Xathinins have done something wrong! 

The Santhran, as the liege lord of the Order, may also wear Order clothing.  On these occasions, he or she is given a cloak of the best fabric, dyed in the lightest grey available, which is embroidered with the Order’s coat of arms in the finest thread.


Coat of Arms
The Coat of Arms of the Order of Seyella, unlike that of the tribe, has evolved over the years.  Represented on official messages, rings, banners and formal clothing, the sign is a silver oval bisected diagonally by two crossed pikes.  The top quarter is coloured teki red, the bottom is saffire sapphire blue, the left is cyhalloi snow and the right is nor’sidian.  The oval is bracketed by two barsa dusk owls, wings spread and heads facing the viewer, and surmounted by a golden crown.  The grey owls represent Seyella, the goddess from whom the Order takes their name, and the crown represents their fealty to the Santhran.  The complete sign is set on a sognastheen green field.

The colours of the Order are ithild-grey and sognastheen green – the grey of Seyella and the green which traditionally signifies leaders in Serphelorian culture.


Organization
Leaders:  (Overview of Leaders)
The leader of the Serphelorian Army is called the High Seyelite, which is usually abbreviated to ‘High Va’ within the Army.  The High Seyelite directs the four separate fighting units, called ‘bivili’ (arms), with the advice of each bivil’s leaders.  The bivili are each run by their respective First, with the help of the Champion of their arm and their bivil’s Xaukyra (officers), and Vakyra (head support staff). 

Commander
The High Va, officially called the High Seyelite, is the commander in chief of the Order, and answers only to the Santhran.  She is elected from the four Firsts when the previous High Va steps down.  The members of the First Council (see below) participate in this process.

Generals
Each bivil has a First, who leads her bivil with the help of her Champion and Council. They come to their post by being the Champion of the bivil at the time of the previous First’s death, or when the previous First becomes incapable of holding the post, or when they step down.  This may seem unfair, but most Firsts have the wisdom to step down at an auspicious moment.  If they do not, the High Va will often have the wisdom for them.  Some Firsts have in the past come to power through less even handed means, but usually order prevails and the bivili are run by she whom good sense would recommend.

Seconds-in-Command
The Champion of each arm is arguably the best fighter in that bivil, and is the successor-in-waiting of the First.  This woman goes everywhere the First does, becoming her aide and pupil.  Champions gain their rank by fighting in the Festival of the Jewelled Bridle each year.  Thus, a Champion runs the risk of being demoted each year repeat of “each year” should she let her fighting skills slip, but she must also spend every possible moment with the First, learning how to run the bivil lest the First become unable to continue in her post.  Most Champions were previously xaukyra, but there are relatively regular occasions I don’t usually associate the word “occasion” with “regular in this sense when ordinary, if experienced, xau-va have won the Festival and become an army’s Champion.

Officers
Xaukyra (singular xaukyar) are the officers of each bivil.  Each xaukyar has an area of expertise, whether it be in a weapon, in tactics, in strategy or some other need the of of the Army.  Each bivil can have as many or as few xaukyra as are required at any given time, and the specialities specialties of the xaukyra generally reflect the strengths of the bivil in question.  The title of a xaukyra is Kaiar.  For example one might see Kaiar Cavalier if one was a Merin in need of training in horse-mounted fighting, or the Kaiar Supply if one was a Tamarian in need of an expert in supply lines in battle.  All bivili have a Kaiar Xau-je Va-Kai, abbreviated to ‘Kaiar-je’, the xaukyar who is the Mistress of New Recruits, and a Kaiar Jakatya – the xaukyar who gives instruction in the core principles of jakatya, the Serphelorian fighting style.

Elite
Xau-va Feara is an honourary title bestowed upon elite warriors who have been called to serve the Santhran in a capacity which means they must, in effect, leave the army.  Xau-va Feara have in the past taken on roles as the Santhran’s Master of the Guard, Master of Arms, close advisors to the Santhran, or in one notable case, the leader of the Santhran’s War Council.  The title of Xau-va Feara is often seen as a consolation prize to those who would have otherwise been a Champion or First.  However, serving the Santhran directly brings its own rewards, and some of those who have been called away have returned to become High Seyelites after being released from direct service.

Head Support Staff
Vakyra are those support staff who have shown the intelligence and ability to excel in the other areas necessary to the running of am an Army.  Vakyra are given the normal respectful title for women I’d remove “for women” as it is contradicted in the next phrase, ‘Va-kai’ (even for men), rather than any specific military appellation, but these are formidable people nonetheless.  They may not be able to fight, but the woman who crosses a member of the cook or supply staff may find herself eating gristly meat, or using sand for soap, for quite some time.  It is usually these sort of wily, quick-witted members of the staff staff members who go on to become vakyra, so they more than earn their place on the Council Kaiara. It seems impossible to me that one person would be sufficiently schooled and skilled in all other to single handedly control these aspects.  I would add some lieutenants of some sort to the support staff as well.

Council Kaiara and First Council
The First, Champion, xaukyra and vakyra of each bivil form that bivil’s four person Council Kaiara, (which each run one of the bivili) I’d remove this segment for clarity.  The Firsts and Champions of each bivil also serve on the First Council, advising the High Seyelite, the woman who leads the entire army.  Any Xau-va Feara currently in existence are there documented times when there have been no such Xau-va Feara? are also invited to sit on the First Council whenever they are able to visit Clymnios.

Units    There are four main units within the Serphelorian army, and as has been mentioned, they are called ‘bivili’, or sometimes, ‘arms’.  These are the Tamarians, the Merins, the Narists and the Xathinins.  The Tamarians are the officer bivil, and their colour is red.  The Merins, who wear blue, are the largest body and are the regular troops.  The Narists, in black, are skilled in stealth and scouting, and the Xathinins in white are no “are” have a reputation as the most merciless fighters.

The bivil to which a warrior belongs usually makes little effective difference in the ways she serves the Santhran, especially when on assignment to the Santhran’s Court.  All those serving for the first time at Court will find themselves on ceremonial guard duty, whether they are a Tamar or a Narist!  The bvili bivili system functions more to give new warriors a smaller ‘family’ to bond with, in which the girls are of a similar mindset to oneself, and in which that mindset is catered to.  The emphasis of training is, of course, placed somewhat differently in the different bivili also I’d use “as well”.

Officer Unit
The Tamarians (a Tamar, some Tamars, the Tamarians) are the officer bivil, and thus are usually the more intelligent Seyelites, or those who show more potential for leadership.  Tamarians learn strategy and tactics more deeply than members of the other bivili, as well as various other more scholarly necessities such as reading, writing, and how to maintain command.  While it is considered an honour to be chosen as a Tamar, the other bivili suspect that it is a boring life, with very little glory; most say they are glad not to have been selected for that bivil.  These are no coddled Graven’s children however (although some are that before they join): the Tamarians are also intensively trained in combat, and are quite able to field strong candidates in the Festival of the Jewelled Bridle.

Regular Unit
The Merins (a Merin, some Merins, the Merins) are the largest bivil of the Order.  They wear blue bindings, and are the regular troops, forming the main body of the Army.  The personality of a common member of this bivil is like that of most Serphelorian women:  outgoing, noisy, ebullient, confident and trustworthy.  Merins are schooled in all kinds of fighting, be it horsed, unhorsed, with polearm, bow or blade.  A fully armed Merin carries so many weapons that myths about their armaments no “s” are common.  Perhaps the most well known of these is the ridiculous story that Serphelorian warriors carry two knives strapped to their inner thighs, which they call ‘the Chastities’!

Stealth Unit
The Narists (a Nara, some Naras, the Narists) are the bivil which harbours those with skill in stealth; their bindings are black.  Naras make good use of their skills as scouts and messengers, or, more often than could be guessed “could be guessed” that phrase just ribs me wrong…, as spies or subtle assassins.  They learn many of the same skills as the Merins, but additionally learn things like the subtle subtle twice in same paragraph art of the poisoner, the arts of disguise and fitting in in many places, and how to use charisma to gain access where others could not. 

Commando Unit
Where the Narists are a dagger in the night, the Xathinins are a club to the face.  Wearing white, and almost always tattooed, the Xathinins (a Xathin, some Xathins, the Xathinins) are those warriors with boundless energy for war.  They are trained constantly throughout their careers in jakatya, unarmed and armed wombat, fighting mounted and on foot, in rough terrain and in towns.  They are trained to be able to fight using found I’d say “everyday items” items, and in how to survive in extreme conditions with very few resources.  Xathins have a reputation as brutal opponents, and it it is half-seriously joked throughout the order that the Xathinins are only trained as hard as they are to stop them from getting in to trouble.  A small core of fanatic Seyella-worshippers are found in this bivil; these warriors are feared indeed.

Sub-units    Each solider in the Army also belongs to a sub-unit within their arm, called a kha (pl. khazi; lit. ‘fingers’).  Khazi are groups of around eight soldiers of different ages or levels of skill and expertise who show an aptitude for a particular area.  These khazi are watched over by the xaukyra of the that particular skill.  Members of each kha sleep in the same hut, take meals together, and are usually given extra lessons by the xaukyra to whom they belong.  The xauxyra is able to ask members of her kha to run errands for her, and in return she is expected to take a special interest in these warriors’ development, particularly in her own area, and also to keep an eye on the other aspects of their wellbeing.  In this way the Council Kaiar of the bivil is always informed of the welfare of all their warriors.

Through the khazi system, even members of large bivili, like the Merins, are able to bond with a small group of soldiers of various different ages.  This gives them a feeling of having a place within the Order, and gives new xau-va people to help and advise them.  Warriors may move between khazi as the Council Kaiar of their arm see that their skills or needs for training, development or friendship change. The Councils try to keep the number of xau-va be no “be” necessary in each kha to twelve or fewer, so as to facilitate bonding.  If one xaukyar has too many in her kha, her best student can sometimes be promoted to xaukyar status so that the group can be split into two smaller khazi with slightly different focuses foci I would say “emphases” .  More usually “Normally, however” instead of “more usually”, members are shifted to other khazi to encourage them to focus on their remove “their” other skills.  A khazi can be as few as just one xau-va and her xaukyar, but this is discouraged.  The smallest khazi usually contain three or four xau-va. Funny how in Eoranna’s CD, this is the exact size of her scouting unit.  Great minds think alike, I guess!  I’ll be incorporating some of these new terms into my CD as soon as I’m finished here ! 

Ranks and Awards    Once one becomes a full xau-va after leaving the care of the Kaiar-je, one has no official rank until one is appointed a xaukyar or becomes a Champion.  This may account for the popularity of the Festival of the Jewelled Bridle – it gives warriors an opportunity to distinguish themselves in a time of relative peace.  However, while there are no rank increases for regular xau-va, awards for katmoh, or for bravery in general, are given when they are earnt earned.   These are small, intricately made silver metal images and are attached by a smith to the waistband of the leather skirt of the woman, in place of some of the rivets. 

The badges vary in size, but tend to be about four nailsbreadths high and wide, so that they fit comfortably on the skirt.  The badge for katmoh is designed in the shape of a stooping owl, and the badge for other more general acts of bravery is an image of the head of a blindfolded woman, representing Seyella.  In cases of exceptional katmoh or bravery, the image may contain a reference to what the act was.  An example of this might be a broken sword in the claws of the owl, indicating a woman who fought with her bare hands after her sword was broken to protect a wounded peasant boy.  Badges in other shapes, for other reasons, have been forged before now, but these are usually only for great, celebrated heroes who could not be given greater rank for their efforts.

Unofficially, some women are acclaimed to the Serphelorian title of Kaiarxura.  While this is not a formal title within the Order, women who are called this are respected by all those who understand its meaning.  Those who earn it are usually those who have seen war and survived it, or those who have consistently over many years upheld the concept of katmoh within their kha, by helping and protecting the newest warriors.

Support Staff    Order staff carry out the tasks of feeding, provisioning and arming the women of the Order.  Other specialist staff train get rid of “train” tend the wounded or see to the religious needs of the Army.  Most goods are grown, farmed or created in the village of Clymnios rather than by Army staff, so smiths, farmers and so on are not directly employed by the Order, and much of the other work is done by the xau-va, including cleaning, and things like training the Order’s horses.

Payment    The xau-va, officers and support staff are all retained by the Santhran, who gives a lump sum to the Order each year to pay its costs.  This amount is supplemented by the Order’s quarrying operation at the Stonedale, so the Seyelites are usually relatively well paid, and the Order quite secure as an institution.


Induction and Training
Application    Girls can apply to join the Order of Seyella at the age of fourteen; the intake is once a year in the last week of  Passing Clouds, after the Festival of the Warriors.  This is traditionally around the age at which girls are called to see their area’s vaxytha and kaiarxura during that festival, and through this meeting many young women find themselves joining the Army.  It is very seldom that girls are rejected at this initial stage, unless they have both physical and mental defects, or refuse to swear fealty to the Santhran.  When there are enough xau-va already, only those who show potential for the areas in which more strength could be used are selected. Hmmm… I have Eoranna starting military training at 21… a little late, I guess…I would make the starting age a little later perhaps…16?? Physical maturity and stature are not reached till a bit later....just a thought

Allocation in to Bivili   Arriving at Clymnios in the autumn, girls are put through a somewhat strange initiation.  No fighting or marching is arranged, but the girls are closely watched by the four Kaiar-je (Mistresses of the New Recruits) during both phases, and it is on their personality, rather than on their skills, that they are selected for one bivil over another.  They are left together in a room with nothing to do but interact with one another for the day on which they arrive, and the next day they are asked to play a number of games of kokdar, until each girl has had a chance to play in each position. 

As a result of the insights into the girls’ temperaments gained over these two days, the Tamarians take any who show marked intelligence or the rare quality of leadership, the Xathinins look for any who demonstrate aggression or anger, the Narists take the quiet or fearful I don’t know if the qualities of quiet and fearful necessarily make a good spy or scout…, and the Merins take the rest.  Once chosen, the girls are dressed in the uniform of the xau-je, which consists of skirts and bindings which are in the style of the uniform of Order members but are made of undyed cloth rather than leather and coloured toccon.  They are then taken by the Kaiar-je of the bivil to the First of that arm, and swear their first oath in the Army.  They pledge fealty to the Santhran, that they will uphold the principle of katmoh, and to stay in the Order for at least two years after the end of their training, should they be accepted.

The Tamarians, Xathinins and Narists do not always recruit at this stage, although usually at least two of these bivili will find suitable candidates.  It is possible to swap bivili at any stage during a person’s time in the Army if qualities needed by one bivil are discovered in a person belonging to another.  Many are trained as Merins before their other merits become obvious. 

Training    In the first year in the Order girls are called xau-je, and are trained under the auspices of the Kaiar-je of their bivil.  All xau-je are taught similar skills and knowledge, but each Kaiar-je works with her type of girl differently, so that all girls have the chance to develop into warriors.  In between standard training, Tamarian xau-je can be seen trailing xaukyra of each bivil, serving as their aides and learning by their example.  When not learning on site, Xathinin xau-je are seldom seen as they are often occupied and trained outside the base, learning to survive in the woods, mountains or lake wouldn’t the Narists also be trained this way as well?  Seems they would have as much or more need to learn independent survival.   Merin xau-je spend a lot of their time on the parade ground learning to work as a unit, and the Narist xau-je are kept close to their Kaiar-je, exercising or training in weapons, but always talking in quiet voices about things which are not disclosed to others.

Testing and Next Steps    At the end of the year the girls have been taught the basics of jakatya, horse riding and care, how to handle bow and blade, and some of the basics of the skills needed by their bivil.  They have also been given the tools to improve their strength, fitness and confidence enough to be of use to the Army.  At the Festival of the Warriors, a test is set for the xau-je.  A full day is set aside for the girls to undergo this ritual, at the end of which the decision is made as to whether they will either become xau-va, or be sent home.  In preparation the girls are fed a large meal the night before, and told to pack all of their belongings in to a trunk because they will need to leave the hut of the xau-je the day after the test.

At sunrise, the xaukyra of each discipline of the bivil wait in a series of walled courtyards to put each girl through her paces, each xaukyar testing the xau-je in the area most closely related to her own specialty.  In this way, each xaukyar gets to see each xau-je’s skill and to assess how appropriate the girl would be to join her kha (finger), while sharing the onus of testing the recruits.  Seldom do the Kaiar-je participate in the testing, although they usually try to observe as much as they can without being observed by the girls.  Many of these tests are ritualised mock fights, especially for the Merins and Xathinins who are trained almost entirely in combat.  The fights, however, are not so mock that xau-je cannot be hurt.  Where did you get the word “xau-je”?  It is very similar to the Chinese “xiaojie” meaning “young woman.” Just curious…

At the end of the day, when the last girls have been tested, they are given gruel laced with a sleep-inducing mixture and are sent weary and beaten back to their round huts. With the girls safely asleep, the four Council Kaiars convene seperately separately to discuss the merit of each xau-je.  This meeting can run for many hours, late into the night.  Eventually, with the Kaiar-je overseeing, the xau-je are accepted into khazi, or are rejected.  In the morning each girl wakes up in a new place, having been moved from their xau-je hut by warriors, to the hut of the bivil they will now be part of.  There they wake up surrounded by women who congratulate them on becoming a xau-va, then clothe them in the garb of their bivil.  The kha then take them to the First of their bivil who, together with the xaukyra of the kha, accepts the new xau-va’s renewed oath to serve the Santhran.

Those who fail the test are transported to an empty hut.  They are met there in the morning by the First and Champion of the bivil who tell them in a ceremonial speech that that they have been rejected because, despite the best efforts of the Army, they do not show the necessary abilities to protect the people of Santharia, and that they will now be given transport home.  All who fail the test have been consistently unsatisfactory throughout the year, so there are no surprises in this respect.  Even if a girl falls sick during the day she will be chivvied through the rest of the examinations, as the xaukyra of the right bivil for her will usually be able to get the correct actions from her, or recognise recognize the girl as someone who will fit in with the warriors of her kha. 

Support Staff    For those who come to be support staff, the intake is each year in Changing Winds.  Staff are usually taken from the population of Clymnios, although lately quite a number of men from other places are sent to become a part of the Army in this way.  There are no bivili in the staff sector of the Army: new arrivals here are put straight to work doing menial duties for the year.  When the next lot of new workers arrives the next spring, those who have demonstrated some initiative and willingness to work are promoted to new positions in somewhat less disagreeable jobs.  Skills and interests are matched as closely as possible to keep the morale of all high.  Those who did not show such promise are kept on if they are suited to menial work, or in the case of trouble makers, are sent home.


Order Life
Once girls have become xau-va and have been accepted into a kha, life becomes composed of various types of guard duty, service once every few years in the Santhran’s court, camaraderie, and of course the constant training.  Xau-va are required to serve after training for at least two years, in which time they are able to experience most facets of life in the Order of Seyella.

Each kha trains together, having one half-day session with a different xaukyar of their bivil each day.  The exception to this rule is jakatya, on which a full day is spent approximately once a week in every bivil, although the frequency of this is dependent on the number of khazi which must be trained.  Training sessions are held in round walled courtyards which can be covered against the weather, on the parade ground, or inside training rooms, depending on the skill to be taught. Wow, we really do think alike… 

The process of learning jakatya is unique to the Order of Seyella and as such is perhaps worth mentioning here.  Jakatya itself is described as ‘seeing without looking’.  It is being aware of one’s surroundings without concentrating and so not missing other things, while also being aware of one’s own body, having good balance, and gaining the ability to move separate parts of the body quickly to avoid a threat without losing that balance.  Jakatya is not a type of fighting itself, but is rather the basis of the ways in which Seyelites move and think while fighting.  Different bivili learn this art in slightly different ways, but it is regularly told – and quite truthfully – that it can involve running on rubbly slopes or spinning logs, walking on ropes tied up in the air like a travelling traveling acrobat, or even stones being thrown at xau-va by the xaukyar, which the xau-va is expected to dodge.

Breakfast, lunch, and the evening meal are taken at staggered times in the Order refectory.  The evening meal is not held until dark, so in summer xau-va go straight to their bunks after this meal. During the winter when the Injera is in the sky for a shorter time, they may use their bivil’s common room to play games, or just to relax in the company of their wider group. 

The rest of the warriors’ time is filled quite solidly.  During the half of the day in which the xau-va are not training, khazi are scheduled to care for the Army’s horses, clean the grounds, care for their clothing or weapons, or to do any number of other duties required to maintain the Army’s precinct.  Guard duty is one of these functions, and each kha takes it most seriously, even when once every month they are scheduled for a half-night duty.

One half-day each week is given to each kha to have free time.  This can be passed in any way they please as long as it does not disrupt the usual activities of the Order.  Many will ride in to Clymnios, although it takes a full hour to ride there each way.  Other khazi have taken to challenging any kha which is also scheduled to have that time off, to a game of the Serphelorian sport, kokdar.  Once every three months it is arranged that the leave periods of any kha fall together, so as to give those xau-va a morning and an afternoon together, or on an afternoon followed by a morning aren’t the Khazi usually given their free time together?? .  During these ‘long leaves’ of either a full day or overnight, xau-va will often spend the time away in Clymnios, where they can relieve themselves of cash in any way they please. 

Rules and Punishments    Apart from during the festivals celebrated by the Army, these long leaves are the only times Seyelites are allowed to drink alcohol.  Xau-je are not allowed to imbibe at all except for the ritual mouthful of amzyz on festival days.  This is not usually a problem, as it is traditional for Serphelorian warriors to avoid drinking and other intoxicants, and as cha-drinking is such a beloved pastime for Serphelorians What does cha have to do with intoxication? .  There is, of course, a penalty for those who break this rule, as there is for any rule within the Army: a visit to the Stonedale.

Being sent to the quarry in the Stonedale as punishment is a very common occurrence.  Any offence which does not result in expulsion from the Order accrues a certain number of hours or days in the Stonedale.  All lapses, errors or offences from not being strong enough, not picking up your drills fast enough or complaining, to more serious offences such as fighting, disrespectful behaviour, or falling asleep on watch have a certain number of days at the Stonedale attached to them.  This applies not only to the xau-va, but also to staff, xaukyra, Champions and even Firsts.  When a week’s worth of hours has been accrued by a warrior she is sent to the quarry on that week’s coach to serve her punishment. 

Of course Seyelites are not the only people who labour here – some types of criminals from the surrounding areas are also sent to here as the penalty for their crimes, although they are usually bound there for much longer than members of the Order.  As such, members must also be used to guard the quarry so that prisoners there cannot escape.

An idea from my CD: if a person in authority fails to protect her kha (as in they get killed), or other unit for which she is responsible, might she not ask to be killed as a penance?  It would need more development than that, but could be doable I think…

Duties    Guarding the Stonedale, unlike guarding the compound and most other things, is not done in kha groups.  Instead, one person from each kha is deployed to the Stonedale every second month.  This means that each kha will have one of its members away guarding the Stonedale for a month every other month, while in the opposite month none of its members will be required.  As guarding the Stonedale is done individually rather than by khazi, one will usually find representatives of all four bivili on duty there.  This allows interaction between members of different bivili, but also ensures that any potential favouring of friends by xau-va is unlikely to occur. 

In the Stonedale the guards change every week, so there is always someone to accompany those from the Order or from Clymnios who are being sent there on the one-and-a-half day journey by coach.  On arrival, new guards are greeted by the lead guards, who are women who have chosen to leave their bivil and become permanenet permanent quarry guards.  There are not many who choose this, and those who do are generally thought of as unpleasant, callous individuals who enjoy the power of running the quarry rather than seeking the glory of katmoh.  All those who go to guard the quarry spend a month there, and being away from one’s kha for so long, in the company of people from other bivili, can be quite an experience.  Strong friendships can be made by those guarding the Stonedale, but also equally strong enmities.

This sort of guard duty usually comes around once every two years but only if the kha is of twelve members. Duty at the Santhran’s Court occurs at a similar, or “although” instead of “or” somewhat shorter interval, but is usually anticipated with much more pleasure.  Although members of the same kha are seldom given duties together - because duties here are based on skill and experience which varies within the kha - one is still quartered with one’s kha, and can share experiences, observations, hints and questions with those more or less experienced than oneself.  The three day journey which would otherwise be boring for older members of a kha is also enlivened by the presence of the younger ones who have never seen the Santhran’s court before.

The Festival of the Jewelled Bridle    This festival, in which the Champions of the bivili (arms) are selected and the best of the Army are recognised recognized, was once celebrated as a rest week by the entire tribe.  Now, as the Army is now repeat of “now” in the same sentence less important than it once was (due to the peace that being a part of Santharia brings), this competition is of much less significance to members of the tribe not connected to the Order.  However, Serphelorians do enjoy a celebration, so those who can do journey to Clymnios to watch this exciting tournament.  The events are held each year in the month of Rising Sun, when the weather is usually clear, but before the summer is at its hottest.  It lasts for a week, from the first Elfday of the month until the following Restday.  During this time all training is suspended, although of course guard duties and all other essential tasks continue.  Those who have served more than the compulsory two years in the Army and plan to compete in the festival are given leave from their duties over this week.  Those who have not yet served more than their required term in the Order are allowed to compete, but are discouraged from doing so by being required to still perform all duties as normal during the festival.

All four bivili must have at least three competitors in the festival so that the Champion for each can be fairly chosen; however the glory of competing is such that many more than this usually enter.  The stands around the parade ground are filled with all xau-va who can attend, and also – particularly on the last two days – the people of Clymnios, and those from further afield.  Each day different events are held, with a chance at the end of each half of the day for the competitors to show off any particular skill they have which could not be sufficiently flaunted during the set events.  Every night there is feasting and celebrations, honouring the successes of the day (the Stonedale is often full the following week of xau-va who overindulged too near to their time on duty!).

On the first day of the festival, the first Elfday in Rising Sun, the stands around the parade ground fill for the first time.  The Firsts of each bivil stand on a wooden plinth at one end of the ground, which is decorated in the silver and green of the Order, with the High Seyelite on a chair set on a higher platform behind them.  The current Champions enter from the opposite end, followed by all those who wish to compete in the festival.  After doing one circuit of the edge of the ground, the challengers move up the centre and the Champions approach the dias dais.  Each Champion hands over her green cloak, the sign of her status as a Champion, to the First of her bivil.  With this action, the High Seyelite proclaims the contenders to all be equal in her sight, and the Festival to have begun.  The rest of this day is spent in the laying of bets among the Seyelites and other spectators, while in the afternoon games of kokdar are played by the contestants.  These games are thought by many to be a good early indication of the calibre my spell checker thinks it should be “caliber” of the competitors.

On the following day, Halfday, archery is contested in the morning, and other ranged weapons such as javelins and the sling and no “and” are contested in the afternoon.  Athletics competitions are run on Browninday morning to test the speed and agility of competitors; in the afternoon comes the first of the actual bouts, with unarmed hand-to-hand combat skills being assessed.  The Gnomesday events are one of the most popular, but the most taxing for the competitors, as this is when competitors’ skill with handling and fighting from horses is gauged.  The dramatic stagchase, and the warhorsing event (in which a warrior’s skill in training her mount to bite, kick, and move in other less natural ways is assessed) are run in the morning, followed by competitions in a number of different types of mounted combat in the afternoon.  On Dwervenday the competitors compete against others from their bivil in events designed to test the particular skills of their group.  Folkday is the only day on which the anticipation of the day’s events surpasses that of Gnomesday: on this day the competitors are tested on their skill with the blade.

Finally, after all the events of the week, the Champions of each arm are decided.  On the morning of Restday the stands are again swelled with people from Clymnios, come to watch the final festivities.  The competitors parade on to the ground and up to the dias dais once more.  A semi-circle of competitors from each bivil is made in front of each First.  To start with the new or returning Narist champion is presented with a new green cloak of rank and proclaimed by her First to be the new Champion of the Narists.  Next follows the awarding of the Xathinin Champion, then the Merin, and lastly the Tamarian Champion Why this order of presentation?.  

As this happens the other contestants step back, allowing the Champions to stand alone before their First.  The High Seyelite then stands, and holds up the beautifully made prize Jewelled Bridle which is set with precious stones and metals in the colours of the Order and its bivili.  This bridle is made slightly differently each year, and once won it need never be given back.  The High Seyelite intones a few formal words, and then calls the name of the Champion who has done the best of the four.  The High Va then passes the bridle to the First of the Champion’s bivil, who hands the prize down to the Champion.  Once this is done, the High Va invites all who can to stay and celebrate the strength of the Army, and to witness the rest of the day’s formal events.

For the rest of the day after the prizes are given, all who competed in the week’s events participate in the often farcical reconstructions of the most impressive or interesting of the competitions.  Those contestants with special skill in an area are invited to show it off, and visiting Xau-va Feara and members of other martial forces are invited to participate in show bouts against Champions or xaukyra.  As night falls tables are set up on the parade ground, and food and drink is brought from the kitchens of the Order to cater for the xau-va and the many guests.  The dias dais is extended and turned into a high table, and distinguished visitors are invited to dine with the High Va, the Firsts, and any Champions who see fit to pretend to have had enough of the adulation of the crowds.  The following day is usually given as a rest day except in the most untoward external circumstances – although guard duties must continue, training is suspended for one more day.


Place in Society
The Army is very well thought of as a career choice for young Serphelorian women who want to see more of the kingdom than they might otherwise, or who have a strong interest in traditional ways.  Girls are also often sent to the army by their elders if they are thought to have potential, despite the fact that they might want to do something entirely different.  It is seen as a good way to make girls into women, and as a proving ground which can be a good education in Serphelorian ways, even if the girl chooses to follow another path after she has served her two years with the Seyelites.  The Order is now also beginning to be thought of as a good place to send young men who wish to be more active, although many of these take roles as support staff rather than warriors.

In a wider context, the Order of Seyella is seen as one of the Orders which is usually the most loyal to, and most closely aligned with the Santhran.  This is probably due to the fact that the Order operates in Sanguia and is thus the most literally close to the Santhran, allowing a closer link between the High Seyelite and her leige liege than is common with the commanders of most Orders.  When troops of Seyleites are sent to supplement those of a noble, the xau-va are thought of as the Santhran’s troops and thus are given high esteem and respect.  Additionally, as a Santhran’s Order, Seyelites are in fact of higher rank than troops belonging to a noble.

History

0 - Santhros accepts the loyalty pledged to him by the leaders of the Serphelorian Army, and re-names them the Order of Seyella.

Very good read.  So, I’m guessing that most of this will be accepted as fact, so I will go do some work on Eoranna’s history soon :-).
« Last Edit: 13 February 2008, 20:37:20 by Eoranna Melor » Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #26 on: 14 February 2008, 05:06:45 »

Personally I have not problem with the Rangwer nickname -  I guess dirty language here and there is also part of life, and as long as we don't overuse it, it adds to realism :)
Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 365
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.650


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #27 on: 14 February 2008, 09:01:34 »

You could always use 'teat' - which was perfectly acceptable at least in the barnyard up to fairly recent times.  Pronunciation and meaning are exactly the same but it's not likely to set off any 'language alarms'! :)
Logged

"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Grunok the Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 19
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 622



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #28 on: 15 February 2008, 06:01:39 »

Just look at all my comments!  rolling  I'm rolling in them!  lol  whee!


@ Trel:  Outposts, y'say.  Hrrrm.  I had sort of thought of them as having roving bands which patrolled around the land.  A band of Order members would pass through a particular town say, once every month.  Not great for keeping the roads safe exactly, but often enough to remind the towns that they belong to the Santhran, and often enough to keep an eye on any bulshy town guard groups, or town leaders who fancy themselves king of their little village, etc.  I will put a sentence or two in about that. nod  Edit:  Changes in yellow.  Thanks Trel!  :D


@ E':  Uri!  Yay!  I will go through and correct most things, but there are a few points I will answer here.

- "If 1000 is the total size of the Serphelorian army, that’s really not that large."  Compared to what?  Santharia doesn't have that many people - that is the size of a reasonably-sized town!  Still, it is a good pick: in entries it is best not to mention specific numbers, I think, so I will fix that up.

- "Other Santhran’s Orders" vs. "Santhran’s other Orders":  Santhran's Order is a title, so it stays together.
- you did pick up a few British spellings in your uri, and also some Santharian ones!  'Saffire' is the Santharian way of writing the name of the blue gem.

-  "Vakyra are given the normal respectful title for women I’d remove “for women” as it is contradicted in the next phrase, ‘Va-kai’ (even for men): This is saying that males who become head support staffers are called Va-kai, the equivalent of "Ma'am".  This is no different to how in RL, women in some countries' armies, or who are presiding over a fencing bout, are called 'Sir'.

- "It seems impossible to me that one person would be sufficiently schooled and skilled in all other to single handedly control these aspects.  I would add some lieutenants of some sort to the support staff as well." I meant support staff in the plural sense - I will add it in that, like the Xaukyra, there are heads for the many different areas of support staffing.

- Physical maturity and stature are not reached till a bit later:  not in medieval times!  Most people die circa 60 years (nobles live longer due to their superior living conditions), so you have to come to maturity earlier.  People are allowed to train for Ximax at age 12, Shendar bond with their aj' at 13/14, and in Holt children start to do the same work as adults by 10 years old!  In line with this, the typical Serphelorian age of majority is 14 years old.  Although if a girl were to get her menses late (like, for example, if she were a half-elf who develops more slowly than humans ;) ), she might be held back as a child until they did start...

- "I don’t know if the qualities of quiet and fearful necessarily make a good spy or scout…" Hopefully this makes sense now as you have read through more: they are trained in a way which suits them, and therefore helps them overcome this. 

- "Where did you get the word “xau-je”?  It is very similar to the Chinese “xiaojie” meaning “young woman.”" Huh, cool!  As you can see here: http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,12258.0.html , 'je' means 'to have potential', and xau... well, I just made it up because it sounded sufficiently Serphelorian at the time.  It has come to mean 'warrior', although to start with it didn't mean anything, hehe.

- "An idea from my CD: if a person in authority fails to protect her kha (as in they get killed), or other unit for which she is responsible, might she not ask to be killed as a penance?  It would need more development than that, but could be doable I think".  Nope.  Sorry.  Because of the Serphelorians' faith strong in Seyella, this would never happen.  They would believe it is the goddess' will, and that your Eophyrim were just pawns of Seyella in this matter. 

- "Why this order of presentation?"  This has an historical background, but basically it is in reverse order of importance.

- You caught some really useful things here E'!  Lots of words which got left behind when I was rewriting passages, and repetitions.  Thanks!

Edit:  Changes in this much more readable skyblue colour grin


@ Judy:  'Teat' pronounced the same as 'tit'?  Wow, that's some accent you've got there!  grin  Or it could be my accent... nerd hehe.  The 'i' is much shorter in my accent, almost sounding like a 'u' (or so our Australian neighbours tell us...) so it sounds completely different - 'teat' is 'teeet', phonetically.  (I mention this just because I know you are interested in tribal dialects...)

I wanted to use 'tit' because I thought it would be an inoffensive way to suggest the shocking language that Serphelorians, and particularly Serphelorian warriors, are wont to use.  I just wanted to check that it wouldn't be so offensive to someone that I really needed to remove it.  As Art put forward, I meant it to suggest a component of this tribe which fits very well with their makeup, but which I want to write delicately.  I hope this is ok with you. 

However, I do know that New Zealanders are quite free with their swear words, and that our use of things like the 'f' word to convey the equivalent of 'Well, is that right?' (i.e. moderate disbelief) has been the subject of at least one visiting comedian's public amused horror -  Big Grin  innoc - hence my willingness to defer to popular opinion in this matter.  :)
« Last Edit: 15 February 2008, 08:30:49 by Grunok the Exile » Logged

Eoranna Melor
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 13



View Profile
« Reply #29 on: 16 February 2008, 00:04:51 »

Haha...  I can see from your comments on my comments that I still have a lot to learn about Santharia shocked  I was thinking a bit more, though... (Dangerous I know...)  What if during the selection process two different Xaukyra want a particular recruit in their kha?  Is there some sort of further test a soldier would be put through to place them correctly?  Or is that way too complicated to address...  Sorry...  In the midst of re-writing my CD in accordance with your insightful comments.  Thanks!  :)
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144590
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 43
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 34
Total: 34

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx