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Author Topic: Voldon / Vardınn Province - Southern Sarvonia / Dog  (Read 2200 times)
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Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #15 on: 09 May 2008, 17:44:11 »
It's give-Garret-love-day! lol

"Most nobility lack a kennel-master to take care of these animals and most put them in the care of them stablemaster, hire a kennel-master, or allow one of their sons to care for the animal if they show interest."

"The first month of a pup's life it lives off of milk. "  Any Milk?  Is there a marked difference between it's mother's milk and, say, cow's milk?

"Table scraps should not be given to any of these dogs" Why not?  What's wrong with them/what are the consequences?

"Nobles with both a male and a female need to send for a breeder unlike those that were both nobility and breeders."  I don't understand this sentence :P.

"It was only twenty years ago that the first female Voldon was sold to a breeder and nobleman outside the city walls."

Otherwise, a brilliantly constructed dog, with so many behavioural details that even a dog-novice like myself knows exactly how they act :D.
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Tharoc Wargrider
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« Reply #16 on: 09 May 2008, 18:33:27 »
Pick, pick, pick. You just can't stop yourself, can you Rookie? Don't make me fetch the cup!
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Use the force, Luke.

And if that doesn't work, try switching it off and back on again.
Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #17 on: 09 May 2008, 18:50:06 »
Gosh, you make it sound like I'm investigating the inner workings of my nose or something.  I'm helping!  *tries to glare and then remembers the Great Truphull Drought and bursts into laughter once more*
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #18 on: 10 May 2008, 00:48:20 »
Quote
Despite their size and intimidating looks they are actually gentle giants and fiercely loyal to its owner
plural->singular shift

Quote
because they wish

They? They who?

Quote
owns one of these magnificent animals agree
plural->agrees

Quote
be steel blue, slate grey in color
->steel blue or slate grey

Quote
these animals and most put them

remove this word->most

Quote
stablemaster, higher a kennel-master
higher->hire ;)

Quote
Female Voldons usually produced a litter of five to fifteen pups, but the average number was eight or nine
Why is this in the past tense?




As per usual, a great entry from our very own dog-boy!
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #19 on: 10 May 2008, 00:52:49 »
Quote from: Miraran Tehuriden on 10 May 2008, 00:48:20
As per usual, a great entry from our very own dog-boy girl!  :D
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #20 on: 10 May 2008, 00:54:02 »
Female Garrets? What is next, a male Bard Judith? *looks very confused*
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #21 on: 10 May 2008, 01:17:20 »
Garret is girl IRL, but we can refer to her as either I think due to the gender of her character.
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #22 on: 10 May 2008, 01:19:12 »
I try to maintain the gender displayed on the profile.. i just rarely check it when a name is obviously male or female.
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Garret Arroway
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« Reply #23 on: 10 May 2008, 05:24:16 »
Thanks for your time Rookie and Mira ... Caught everything (though after some hunting on Mira's comments as he made me search :P) and edits are in Sea Green this time. :)
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Before you kill him, think of what you take from him.
Remember what it is to be alive.
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #24 on: 10 May 2008, 11:59:11 »
Habitat/Behaviour, third section;
Quote
and put them in the care of them stablemaster, higher a kennel-master, or allow one of their sons to care for the animal if they show interest.

As mentioned before, higher should be hire.

After that, i'd say we blarrow this puppy and send it off into the Compendium :)
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Garret Arroway
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« Reply #25 on: 10 May 2008, 18:44:42 »
Lol I fixed that in the word document but for some reason I didn't notice it when I was transering edits over. Thanks Mira, and that is now highlited in bright yellow lol ...
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Before you kill him, think of what you take from him.
Remember what it is to be alive.
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #26 on: 11 May 2008, 19:20:50 »
Good! Then it will be included in this weeks update, if all goes as planned!
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
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