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Author Topic: The Rimmerins Ring- Main Thread  (Read 10116 times)
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #30 on: 21 December 2008, 13:26:00 »

People done... will upload tommorow when more brain cells are functioning... then must tie self to Bard's desk, so as to collect helpful scraps of climate related information....
Tired little jsal, right here  wakeup
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #31 on: 23 December 2008, 09:04:47 »

Updated a bit, more coming.
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #32 on: 26 December 2008, 12:11:37 »

More updates, with the human section finished!
Working on Dwarves now, and below, reference pictures for your perusal.
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #33 on: 26 December 2008, 16:43:49 »

Will try to check this after I'm done with the Website menu redesign.
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #34 on: 26 December 2008, 22:45:20 »

Thanks, no rush, Art. I'm still just chuggin' away :)
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #35 on: 27 December 2008, 06:28:21 »

Hey Nsiki, 

Would you mind putting a progress line at the top of your first post so I can see where you are up to?  Like this sort of thing:

Quote
Just finished the xxx section.  Still have the yyy section and zzz sections to go. 
Any help on finding an aaa for the bbb would be useful!


Overview
...


I am hoping to get to look at this, but some context would be great, as I am lacking in time and keep coming back to see different things done  :)
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #36 on: 27 December 2008, 10:31:35 »

Sure, thanks Grunok, I've got quite a bit on your favorite sons.. erm, daughters?
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #37 on: 28 December 2008, 13:07:48 »

Regarding the Serphelorians, it might help you to read their more recent history .  Those Serphelorians in the Rimmerins' Ring are definitely not nomadic; in fact there are no more nomads among the Serphelorian people at all (see last line of history). 

The section 'Serpheloria Perishes' at 477 b.S shows you which towns should be populated with which tribes in the area which was formerly Serpheloria.  I also have some maps I made showing this, which I have now emailed to you (I hope the email address on your profile works!) - they will make it a lot easier  to keep things consistent if you are working with the Eyelians and their borders with the Serphelorians.

As far as your writing goes, there are a few things.  In the paragraph beginning 'In the north'.  It is always better to describe what you will find and not what you won't, as otherwise people begin picturing the wrong thing!  This can be confusing.

As far as the rest, a spell-check would probably help, or else a careful checking of the Santharian words - quite a few of these are wrong, but I don't have time to do a Uri, sorry!

I will keep an eye on this!  I'm sure it will end up great.
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #38 on: 28 December 2008, 13:14:03 »

Thank you for the look-over, I'll certainly have another look over the history and spelling, I've mostly been using the firefox spellchecker, and I've yet top integrate many Santharian words. So I'll take care of the spelling once I get more of the framework down.
Thank you very much for the maps by the way, I appreciate those. And I'll also take a look at the paragraph you discussed, and others in a similar vein. Thanks for the check again!
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #39 on: 28 December 2008, 13:26:08 »

If you wouldn't mind, it would be good if you could fix up the spelling now.  It helps those who are reading over what you have written, and makes giving a uri-check so much more possible!  In a similar vein, you might like to put spaces between your paragraphs, and bold and/or colour your headings and subheadings.  It makes it so much easier to comment, which means you get better comments!
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #40 on: 28 December 2008, 13:32:46 »

Fixing spelling now then, and yes, I've been meaning to fix the layout for a while :P
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #41 on: 28 December 2008, 13:39:13 »

Well, have most of the spelling done, will upload tommorow morning *yawn*... time for bed!
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #42 on: 02 January 2009, 13:04:17 »

Alright, some major progress made :)
Here are some ideas for the coat-of-arms.
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - The Dark Knight

Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #43 on: 02 January 2009, 13:44:48 »

A coat of arms for the whole Ring, Nsiki?  As you write in the entry, the Ring is a vast area housing two tribes with a history of conflict (not to mention the others who are more recent immgrants) and many different settlements.  As far as a coat of arms for the duchy is concerned, I would tend to think that we should consider mapping Sanguia in more detail and creating duchies and fiefs (and getting the Manthrian version up!) rather than creating one and looking back later and going 'oops'!

This is one places enrty where you can very happily skip that section, and I reccommend that you do.  :)
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Grunok the Exile
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« Reply #44 on: 02 January 2009, 14:55:14 »

Okay Nsiki, I have had a look over this and I have some concerns - not about your writing, but about the shape of this submission.  It is a massive entry, and not one which, in my opinion, should be written as a whole.  There is just too much for one entry: too much to read, and too much to write.  A better use of your time would be to limit this entry to a description of the Ring mountains themselves, similar to this entry on the Mithril mountains in Manthria.  This would then be useful to other developers, and you would find you get more comments.

The research you have done so far will by no means be wasted; it will inform what you write about the mountains.  They have a very colourful history, which it is very important to have clearly in your mind before you write this place, as it is central is so many ways to Santharia as it is today.  I also expect that you would then go one to write entries about places inside or near the Ring after this.

Things which I think you should focus on in this entry are the climate, resources, history, flora and fauna.  These are hugely important, and what you write about them in this entry will say what can be written about the places and people which lie in these mountains' shadow. 

The location section should be heavily emphasised, too.  The Ring is huge!  Tell us about the distances involved.  Tell us how many strals, but also tell us about distances in real terms.  How long does it take to circumnavigate it, inside or out?  How long does it take to climb to Blueheart dungeon? To cross it in any given direction?  To do this, use the scale at the bottom of the map and note that a human man, on foot and relatively unencumbered, walks at approximately 6 strals per hour on paved ground, and can walk for about 9 hours per day at a normal (not forced) rate, if they are used to travelling.

Towns and settlements which are not on the mountains themselves should be left out of this entry, as well government, Coats of Arms, and any sort of detailed look at races and people.  These are better addressed in the entries specific to the places and areas.

I hope this makes sense to you.  What are your thoughts?
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