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Author Topic: 'The Poetpriests are Coming...'- A poem by Deci  (Read 4704 times)
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Decipher Ziron
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« on: 25 December 2008, 10:15:35 »

The Poetpriests are Coming...

A popular poem by the Faen Herma Divus, illustrating the mixed reactions with regard to the arrivals of the 'Holy Order of the Poetpriests'- the universal religious organisation bypassing the authority of the Faen Trading Houses as an autonomous body. Whilst they are famed for the beautifully melodic myths they sing to enstill some religious reverence in the area they are visiting, they are also famed for their appraisal of Faen finances- still having the ability to issue sanctions and fines under the 'Old Nation's' constitution.


The cohorts of the Order come,
Over hills a'rolling,
By the flute and by the drum,
Robed monks a'strolling,

Beware the 'ppraiser's watchful eye,
Watch out for his inspection,
Beware the tricks that he may try,
That might change your perception,

Oh, look onto those harpists playing,
Bringing children glee,
'Wonderful!' we hear them saying,
And every note is free!

Bu' whilst the Poetpriests bring song,
It is not all they deal,
For every slip-up, every wrong,
They'll soon to you reveal,

Ensure the records are up to date,
Appraisal will be raw!
Dont make the scribers too irate,
Or more we must endure!

Don't let them ever suspect a fraud,
No such calamity!
Even if I'm blessed by a Kezar lord,
Twould be the end of me!

The cohorts of the Order come,
Over hills a'rolling,
By the flute and by the drum,
Our finances they controlling....
« Last Edit: 07 March 2009, 03:31:27 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #1 on: 25 December 2008, 17:15:52 »

Heheheh, once again; good work! Mira Likes!
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« Reply #2 on: 25 December 2008, 17:53:45 »

Good work my eye; this is bloomin' genius, and I'm jealous!   

 Singing holy accountants?   Where DO you get your inspirations? Because I think the catalog I'M ordering from is last year's....
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #3 on: 25 December 2008, 18:25:03 »

*blinks* you mean your accountants don't sing in Korea Judith?

evil


The Poetpriests are a result of the Celtic-mideval Italy fusion theme we are using for the Faen. And for the Faen, well, commerce is the highest good. ooh, i cant wait untill i get to finish up the House of the Gods religion entry! (for which i would realy, realy, realy like someone to draw me the tapestry of the House.... *starts thinking of ways to bribe Judy* )
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #4 on: 27 December 2008, 00:04:52 »

Thanks you two for your kind words- Does anyone have any critique though?
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Gean Firefeet
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« Reply #5 on: 28 December 2008, 06:04:06 »

Critique is hard to come by in the Poetry Office, I'm all for rhyming (and singing) herbariumists (and because of a certain christmas carol I have proof they can) who might assist us here, but for now, let's look at these holy accountants.

You'll probably know by now that I'm all for a strict metre, so here are my suggestions, following a 4/3/4/3 stress moments pattern that seems to be the most likely for your lines.



The () cohorts of the Order come,
Over hills a'rolling,
By the flute and by the drum,
Robed monks a'strolling,

Beware the 'ppraiser's watchful eye,
Watch out for his inspection,
Beware his tricksy smoke and mirrors, [sorry, I couldn't help it ;)]
That might change your reflection,

Oh, look onto those harpists playing,
Bringing children glee,
'Wonderful!' we hear them saying,
And every note is free!

Bu' whilst the Poetpriests bring song,
It is not all they deal,
For every slip-up, every wrong,
They'll soon to you reveal,

Ensure the records are up to date,
Appraisal will be raw!
Dont make the scribers too irate,
Or () more we must endure!

Don't let them ever suspect a fraud,
No such calamity!
Even if I'm blessed by a Kezar lord,
Twould be the end of me!

The () cohorts of the Order come,
Over hills a'rolling,
By the flute and by the drum,
Our finances () controlling.... [this one also because of grammatical reasons, they're controlling", right?]


While you're sending a copy of that catalogue to South Korea, make sure to send some to the Low Lands as well (I'm sure Mira too would care to have one ;)
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #6 on: 28 December 2008, 06:19:34 »

Thanks Gean!

I added all bar the final 'They' colloquialism- since it doesnt seem right without it, and it is the last line, so its allowed to not make perfect sense!
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« Reply #7 on: 28 December 2008, 06:38:51 »

Nu-uh! Mira cannot rhime to save his life in english. Well, not at a rate above two verses per hour anyway. Decipher provided nearly all the text for "Miraclaus II ", i just edited it all to make the metre fit just enough to make it singable. (Although i did cheat tremendously with "Faugar's d'sign" because i needed to get rid of one syllable...)
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Avrah Kehabhra

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« Reply #8 on: 19 January 2009, 16:02:26 »

Blarrow?
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #9 on: 19 January 2009, 16:40:02 »

Deci, most is more or less rhyming, why do you not look into your second stanza?

Beware the 'ppraiser's watchful eye,
Watch out for his inspection,
Beware his tricksy smoke and mirrors,
That might change your reflection,
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #10 on: 21 January 2009, 22:44:07 »

Fixed that as well!

So now its in ship-shape?
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #11 on: 22 January 2009, 00:33:55 »

"eye" and "mirror" still don't rhyme....
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Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #12 on: 22 January 2009, 02:20:58 »

The rhyme scheme goes:

A
B
C
B
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« Reply #13 on: 22 January 2009, 11:21:04 »

Yes- why is this the only stanza 'tis so?
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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

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Wisdom begins in wonder. ~ Socrates

A government in which the majority rule in all cases cannot be based on justice, even as far as men understand it- HD Thoreau
Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #14 on: 09 February 2009, 08:00:18 »

Wow, it took me so long to revise one line!

OK, my guess is thats it....am I correct?
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