* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7] 8 9 10
Print
Author Topic: Xaul  (Read 29155 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Seeker
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #90 on: 03 December 2009, 10:39:57 »

I would have to agree with Rayne.  Exmortis, you have a great opportunity here to learn from the comments Rayne provided and become a much better writer.  So I hope you don't get discouraged.     
Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #91 on: 12 December 2009, 16:22:24 »

Cheers!
I've finished putting down your suggestions, just gonna spell cheak it now. grin

Sorry it took so long, I caught a bug or something, gave me a terrible headache. I could barely move for a week. buck
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Stormraven
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 155



View Profile
« Reply #92 on: 14 December 2009, 11:35:04 »

Going back to the whole size issue I agree that they should be smaller.
as Alysse said early on
Quote
I'm thinking of having your small ones, the Runners, be about the size of a Chihuahua puppy and your biggest ones maybe the size of a small cat.

Quote
If they could fit into the palm of your hand they probably wouldn't strike much fear into people, right?

Think of the terror that a swarm of Army ants induce. or a swarm of "killer" bees. for that matter imagine what a terror spiders would be if they had a hive mind and worked in concert. *shudder shudder*

Small things can be exceptional when they work as a team which it sounds like these do. Look at the Brownies.
« Last Edit: 14 December 2009, 11:45:09 by Stormraven » Logged

Not all who Wander are Lost J.R.R. Tolkien
Azhira Styralias
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 132
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2.774


Mód’dél’áey


View Profile
« Reply #93 on: 14 December 2009, 12:54:09 »

And don't forget to put it in the proper template! As of now, the entry is all over the place... thumbup

Oh, and glad to have you back, Exmortis.  :)
Logged

No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #94 on: 14 December 2009, 14:55:18 »

I agree but I stand by the current design of my creature. This defience doesn't originate from stubboness. Let me show you my logic.


A wasp.
The sight of a lone wasp causes anxiety. This is linked with the pain it inflicts. This pain is generated with either a bite or a sting. However these attacks aren't deadly because their weapons cannot create enough damage. Hence the wasp isn't deadly alone. (excluding allergy)

Now let's resize the wasp to that of a mountain lion. Now the wasp is deadly. It is seen as deadly because the wasp's weapons which couldn't wound you now can deliever enough acetic acid\jaw pressure to critically wound you. This gives it the ability to kill or possibly eat you. Do you feel more anxious then before.

This is the same basic rule that applies to the Xaul. Even if you do include the whole hive.

I am sorry, but I am not buying your view. I suspect there could be an alterive motive to these suggestions; Is the Xaul too invasive, is it destructive to the ecosystem.
 
Perhaps i'm being paranoid, grin but if you guys think that this creature doesn't work then you should let me know. I have a little problem with doing things without explaination.  ;)


Sorry if I sound like a crazy person.... ;)
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Stormraven
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 155



View Profile
« Reply #95 on: 15 December 2009, 01:26:26 »

I guess, from my point of view, a swarm of small cat sized creatures that could render me unconcious and cart me off to be an "incubator" is more frightening then a single creature. It is always easier to fight one thing then it is to fight a mob of them. Perheaps a compromise. have them range in size from cats to say, the size of a large dog.
Logged

Not all who Wander are Lost J.R.R. Tolkien
Azhira Styralias
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 132
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2.774


Mód’dél’áey


View Profile
« Reply #96 on: 15 December 2009, 01:40:40 »

It's alright, Exmortis. Your Xaul are coming along fine. There is plenty of room for them in the Mists. That region is HUGE.  ;)

One question - if these Xaul attack anything that they come across, how do any researchers get close to them? Let alone find so much detail on them?  huh

Remember, you are writing from a medieval, scholar point of view. You as the real life author know about these creatures, but your researchers will not. These are nasty beasts and I doubt anyone can get close enough to them without being eaten right away!
Logged

No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Seeker
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #97 on: 15 December 2009, 03:48:19 »

Before we get too far into the size discussion.  Can we clarify how big these things get?  i see the runner is around 1 fore, but the rest of the castes are simply described as bigger.  Xaul if you could put better description of sizes for each caste that will help. 

Are you intending to use the word creed or caste.  I still contend the use of the word creed is incorrect in this entry, but please explain if you feel it is correct.
Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #98 on: 15 December 2009, 15:44:52 »

Azhira:
The main discoverer was Joel Treeforge. He managed to infeltrait the nest by covering his body and the bodies of this assistances in think mud. This masked the body heat of this party of adventurers and rendered the Xaul's primary sense (heat vision) worthless.

Seeker:
I don't intend to use the word creed. Did I miss some mention of it?
Right I need to put in the sizes of the other castes. But the Royal castes are big, 5 to 10 ped in height approximatly.
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Seeker
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #99 on: 16 December 2009, 04:38:15 »

Yeah I notice about 17 uses of the word "Creed" in the entry.  Easiest way is to copy it into Word program and search for "creed".
Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #100 on: 14 February 2010, 18:06:44 »

There should be no more mention of 'creed' in this entry.
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Seeker
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #101 on: 14 February 2010, 23:31:58 »

 :D Your back Exmortis .  GREAT.
Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #102 on: 05 March 2010, 22:35:38 »

Yeah it is nice to be back. I just hope my stay is a bit more permanent this time around. By the way, all I have to do is make them smaller and I will enable comments. Just so you know ;).
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #103 on: 06 March 2010, 11:09:28 »

Ready for comments.
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Exmortis
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 10
Offline Offline

Posts: 161


A Watchful Shadow


View Profile
« Reply #104 on: 13 March 2010, 22:54:20 »

Xaul is ready for comments, standing by.
Logged

Echoes of past events nudge the tiller of my present course...

I await its reflection in the future
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7] 8 9 10
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 32
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 19
Total: 19

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx