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Author Topic: hiveling myths  (Read 9239 times)
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #15 on: 21 July 2009, 07:13:40 »

With regards to the cross referencing entries that don't exist yet, is it possible to name the tribes and associated myth and at a later stage add in the links to the myth when the entries are written?
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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #16 on: 25 July 2009, 10:08:08 »

Hey Alt,

aura from me, too! A splendid story! The transformation of the deadly danger into the saviour goddess is breathtaking.

I've only one consideration to offer: I was not familiar with the Snowflakes when I first read your myth, and I found that I was not quite able to appreciate, at first, the full terror of the hero's situation. Now, you may want it that way, i.e. you may want to assume the reader's knowledge. But if you don't, you might want to consider adding (after the paragraph ending ".. he blew them toward the mortal") something like:

"Uraghadze knew that these insects were Fisah-eck-Shannon - creatures as small as they were deadly, who would bite into his skin, burrow into his flesh, and infests it with maggots who would eat his living body from the inside until nothing but bones and hair would be left."

This would also address another little confusion I had, because when you first mention the name "Fisah-eck-Shannon", it took me a little while to guess that this is Remusian for Snowflake. (Not too  hard to guess for me, but I'm thinking here of a reader who may be new to Santharia and who may benefit from more explicitness.)

Oh, and I found two (possible) typos:

Quote
Like an eddy in a body of water, the snowflakes began to travel in a slow wide circle, slowing traveling inward, tighter and tighter, faster and faster.  Not only the insects on the ground, but those in the air as well, as if blown by a strange wind.  More and more snowflakes gathered, slowing taking shape; slowing getting larger.  Insect against insect; one atop the next, it built upon itself, becoming a mysterious entity.

Should the red words be "slowly"?

Quote
Muted, silent, it stared at him with ethereal eyes, its head cocked to one side.  How it was able to stare at him withut real eyes, but simply a hole in the writhing mass on snowflakes, cannot be guessed at by mortal minds.

... without ...
« Last Edit: 25 July 2009, 10:10:42 by Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang » Logged

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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #17 on: 25 July 2009, 23:08:28 »

All right, I know I said I didn't have time, but a tenacious hiveling grabbed me and refused to let go. Also, there was a rainy afternoon last week, when my girlfriend and I had intended to go on a cycle ride ...

So I've posted a story in the Mythology forum.   :D
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seth ghibta
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« Reply #18 on: 26 July 2009, 05:01:01 »

Thank you Shaba! It is a truly brlliant story and I'm indebted to you.
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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #19 on: 01 August 2009, 17:44:06 »

Hey Alt,

Now that you're back, I thought I'd let you know that there are a few comments on your splendid Snowflake Hiveling Myth hidden in this thread. Three posts up!

Shabakuk
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #20 on: 02 August 2009, 00:17:08 »

Aha.. thank you, I will read then revise.  Got missed in the avalanche of new posts in the week I was gone.  Thank you for the heads up and for the perusal and comments. :D
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« Reply #21 on: 08 August 2009, 17:28:23 »

it may have taken a ridiculous number of tantrums and "burn-it-to-the-ground-and-start-again" rewrites, but i finally finished the myth i started ages ago.  buck
sticking it up in the cosm board shortly> here it is
« Last Edit: 08 August 2009, 17:39:17 by seth ghibta » Logged

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« Reply #22 on: 25 September 2009, 09:02:50 »

Hey Altario,

I'm anxious to prevent your marvellous Snowflake-Hiveling myth from being forgotten. It seems to me it's at risk of getting lost, as it's still hidden within this thread. Why not submit it in the library? It would be the third Hiveling story, which may then warrant the creation of the hiveling book?
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seth ghibta
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« Reply #23 on: 16 October 2009, 04:39:33 »

another one up for coments;
the nohopuku
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« Reply #24 on: 21 September 2010, 20:02:01 »

thread necromancy i know, but i want to pull this up where i can see it as it has useful bits.
also, if anyone's interested in writing a hiveling myth then feel free! they're always welcome. just let me know, so i can incorporate it into the introduction.
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #25 on: 22 September 2010, 02:40:13 »

Hey seth! I have sort-of hiveling myth (although it kind of follows a different track to just being about them, being about the founding of Ciosa) which I though -might- be involveable.

Anyway, I will post it and then we can see.

EDIT: Posted and is here.
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« Reply #26 on: 22 September 2010, 18:31:06 »

Athviaro, Thankyou!
firstly, for adding a story to the collection, which is always welcome. and they don't have to be stories about hivelings soo much as featuring them, so yours is fine.
secondly, for doing it so quickly,
and thirdly, for doing it with such style and to fit so perfectly a gap between myth and history!
i'd give you an aura for each of these great acheivements, but that would break the rules, so you get one, and my undying gratitude... [rummages in pockets] and this small wriggly thing which is now trying to bite me. all yours! grin
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #27 on: 22 September 2010, 18:52:28 »

Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I wonder...I have to feed the plants in a minute, I think I know just the place for this wriggly thing...

You will never bite another Compendiumist! Mwah-ha-ha-haw!

*Cackles evilly*
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« Reply #28 on: 22 September 2010, 20:18:33 »

Oh, those Greenhouse Man-traps? You know, they start life as wriggly newts trying to bite Compendiumists.

Once one tastes a compendiumist, once always longs for one, I suppose...
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« Reply #29 on: 22 September 2010, 22:26:48 »

grabs ink and paper, and quietly follows Athviaro. finally, the chance to observe the life cycle in full... grin
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