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Author Topic: Blackbeetle Paint  (Read 6517 times)
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Aaron Silverleaf
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« on: 12 October 2009, 01:52:48 »

Edits in lime green.

Name
Blackbeetle Paint or Eioiei Uhll in Brownie


Overview
Blackbeetle Paint, is a vivid blue dye made by the Vale Brownies  and as you can see from the title made from blackbeetles that are processed in a variety of ways. Blackbeetle Paint is only made by the Bubbler Clan and within the clan a very few are allowed to make it.  Many brownies adorn their clothes as well as beads with the Blackbeetle Paint.


Description of the Product
Blackbeetle Paint has a deep blue hue and the dye can be used as a blue glue it's so sticky. The great popularity of the dye might be because of its colour which is almost as intense as Udenza pottery but with the glow of Baveras' Eye. Blackbeetle paint has a very thick consistency  and can be  very good for dying beads and clothes. When it is put on cloth it will sink into the cloth within minutes and form and thick blue covering.  When put on most cloth it will replace any former color. The only exception are very bright shades of yellow and red which will ever so slightly show through the dye. Blackbeetle Paint is  so thick that the brownies need greased spoons simply to get it out of the barrels they store the paint in.

Method of Production
The Blackbeetle Paint made from the chitin between the wing and the wing case of a male black beetle as it is the only piece of skin that is that colour. Quality blackbeetle paint is only made by skilled and proven members of the Bubbler Clan. Bits of a blackbeetle's outer hard shell are soaked in water for several days and then  cut up and ground up to an extent that it looks like blue sand. After that it's mixed with bones and other scraps and ground once again. After that the brownies then store it in barrels and place it underground for use in festivals. When liqud is returned a secret ingredient is added that gives it the stickiness that makes it all the better.  When used for makeup it requires at least two tots of water to dilute it as when undiluted it can cause rashes.


Areas of Production
Containers of blackbeetle paint are only be produced  deep within the Council Tree of the Vale Brownies. Blackbeetle paint can be used to dye the varieties of beads produced by the Brownies. Plenty of shipments of Blackbeetle Paint get traded with the Eyelians and the Tethinrhim Clan. Many dyes and the beads that are dyed by them are carried in rat drawn wagons and Arrowhead Geese.  


Usage
The blackbeetle dye can be used to dye beads as well as providing a beautiful glue that can be made into so many of the many wonderful technological advances so commonly associated with the Vale Brownies. The paint can also be a form of body paint for brownie ladies during festivals. Many male brownies as well use it and both genders have Brownies who could not imagine festivals without it. The main use for Blackbeetle Paint, is as a dye for beads and adds a glossy finish in addition to its deep blue shades .

History of the Industry
In 894 b.S Bubbler Clan came into being.  Around that time the beadwork so classic to the brownies became widespread to the Vale Brownies, and most likely that during that time the Blackbeetle Paint sprung from the mind of Rearao completely by accident.

Lore and Legend
This small passage being the only text that clearly defines the beginning of the blackbeetle paint is highly protected. It is believed that it dates back to the year 595 b.S because of the ageing of the ink indicates sometime near then.

Many years ago the brownies say a blackbeetle was hunted. The Blackbeetle attempted to flee the hunters by running all around the Vale around great distances and it took many hours to catch it. When it finally died from the arrows and darts the hunters carried it to their village. The brownies of the village leaped in joy to see their favorite food being served. The different clans were tore apart the flesh. Members of the  Hotfinger clan cooked the meat, the Brightler Clan was used bits of the head as decorations, every brownie in the village were  happy. There were only one brownie who was not happy. He was a member of the Bubbler Clan and he had nothing to do. His name was Rerao. He was only 15 and just days before he had joined the Bubbler Clan. He wasn’t experienced enough to do anything else so he just sat there. Beside him a elder brownie tore the the skin off a piece of the beetle. The young brownie grabbed a piece and sat on it. Later he got up and found a bit of sweating crunched up beetle skin. He picked it up and it crumbled into a deep blue powder.  
« Last Edit: 20 March 2010, 03:11:40 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged
Aaron Silverleaf
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« Reply #1 on: 12 October 2009, 10:54:26 »

Ready for comments!
 grin grin
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Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #2 on: 12 October 2009, 19:55:43 »

Hey Aaron, welcome to santharia!  I'm glad to see you've found your way to the best race of them all (ok, maybe I'm a little biased).

You've done some great research here - the name is perfect and the trading partners you mentioned are indeed the most likely recipients of this product.  It could do with a bit more fleshing out though, particularly the description section.  How about describing what it's like before it's painted on to stuff? The consistency, what it feels like to stick your hand/brush into?  Then you could give us some idea of the finish too - I imagined it rather like PVA glue (but of course a different colour) - a shiny, slightly milky finish.  Of course you're welcome to change things with your own ideas, but it does need to be something special, something different to normal paint.  (And it does need to agree with what's already in the Brownie Bead Industry Entry)  Otherwise it wouldn't have the same value and prestige.  How does it feel when it's painted onto cloth? Does it soak in or rest on the surface?  Does it make the cloth stiff?  Does it look best painted onto a white surface, or a blue one.....or a green one...anything you can add to what you have would be great :)

I really like the idea of using it as make-up, as blue is traditionally an unusual colour, considered very beautiful by most.  I would like to see more detail again though - can it just be painted on like it is, or does the mixture have to be changed in some way to make it kinder to the skin?  Also, I wouldn't think they'd wear it everyday - they don't kill enough Blackbeetles to make enough of the dye for starters, and they don't really dress up every day like a rich human woman might.  Instead I would imagine they'd save it for festivals, when they really go all out on their outfits - they make special clothes out of leaves and flowers, which are only designed to last for the festival.  They decorate their hair and make hats and headdresses - everything! So yeah, the make-up would fit in with that perfectly - both males and females might wear it. 

I'm not sure what you mean by this -
Quote
The methods of transport across the Vale were developed by the Tenthhrum as well as the Vale Brownies.
Beads are light and can probably be transported by Arrowhead Goose, or in Rat-Drawn Wagons.

Unfortunately your lore idea won't work - the Blackbeetles are delicious and are hunted to provide meat for the festivals.  They're considered special, and are generally only hunted by the Prowler Clan because they're pretty dangerous, but their place in the festival banquet has already been written into a couple of other entries.

Great ideas Aaron, feel free to give me a shout if you've got any questions :)

Rookie xx
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Aaron Silverleaf
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« Reply #3 on: 19 October 2009, 01:40:43 »

Integrated comments.  :D Ready for more. buck
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #4 on: 19 October 2009, 04:50:34 »

It's considered useful if you colour those changes. Just so it's apparent to those of us who didn't edit it, what exactly the changes are.
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« Reply #5 on: 19 October 2009, 05:14:23 »

Sorry
I'm coloring it now.
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Aaron Silverleaf
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« Reply #6 on: 24 October 2009, 10:33:06 »

Ready for more comments and
BUMP! :D
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Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #7 on: 28 October 2009, 05:26:26 »

Hey Aaron, my sincere appologies for taking so long to get back to you - things just got hectic with a new job and parents' birthdays etc etc.  Here are some more ideas for you - you're much closer now btw and I especially like the additions you've done to the "Method of Production" section :).

Could you run it through a spellchecker?   We have a button on the bottom of the post which you can use.  It might also be an idea to reread through it aloud and adjust some of the wording so that it flows a little smoother.  At the moment it reads a bit like a list, with one or two facts every sentence.  Using a variety of short and long sentences, and trying to avoid repeating words or starting several sentences in the same way maybe?  I would also make the dates a little more vague - it sounds a bit odd to give such precise dates but have such a wide gap between them.  Hang on, let me make up some dates for the Clans' beginnings....

ca. 1020 b.S. - Ferretmasters, Clan Maj, Scribblers and Hamm'rers

976 b.S. Praisers

968 b.S. Greengrowers

965 b.S. Leather

894 b.S. Bubblers, Brightlers

601 b.S. Imparters, Prowlers and Hotfingers (possibly after population boom?)

590 b.S. Drummer

261 b.S. - Skydiver

850 a.S. Bartering (Babblers) and Wheeler

...had to work out the other ones to be able to be happy with the date for the Bubblers you see.

Also I'd avoid too scientific-sounding words like "exoskeleton".  We're medieval/renaissance researchers after all and we don't have that sort of vocabulary!  Maybe "hard outer covering/shell", something like that?

Your myth is great, the only thing is that one blackbeetle wouldn't feed the Council Tree Brownies - there are about 250,000 of them at the moment, and at least several thousand when the Council Tree was formed.  I would get rid of the famine idea and just have them eager to eat the delicious delicacy.  Maybe it's just a particular family or group that are cutting into it?
« Last Edit: 28 October 2009, 05:28:13 by Rookie Brownbark » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: 28 October 2009, 10:00:59 »

I followed up on all the comments and integrated them. Is this blarowable now?   huh
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« Reply #9 on: 29 October 2009, 04:27:23 »

Hi Aaron!  thumbup

Under your Lore/Legend (Myth/Lore?), does this young Brownie have a name? Or an approximate time when he discovered this? Maybe the tale is an old piece of lore told by the Scribbler clan.
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« Reply #10 on: 29 October 2009, 05:13:27 »

I'd like to remind you of what Rookie said above:

Quote
At the moment it reads a bit like a list, with one or two facts every sentence.

You write in very short sentences, subject + verb + object, again and again - and that doesn't really make a nice flow of reading. Try to expand and formulate your sentences better by adding more details, subordinate clauses etc. - don't just list the facts!
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« Reply #11 on: 31 October 2009, 02:33:39 »

I think I mostly fixed that but is there any chance of getting it in this update.   huh
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« Reply #12 on: 31 October 2009, 02:39:03 »

The point I brought up is still valid for large parts of the entry. Just read the first sentences until the coloured ones. They begin as follows:

Blackbeetle Paint is ...
The paint is ...
Many Vale Brownie ladies as well as men adorn ... (Here we have something new for a change!)

The Blackbeetle Paint is ...
The blue is ...
The paint is ...

See a pattern? Not very readable that way, Aaron! You really need to do something about this, getting much more diverse the way you express your thoughts.
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« Reply #13 on: 31 October 2009, 06:18:40 »

A little elf appears in a swirl of paper birds. She glances around with a tinge of uncertainty, as though befuddled at her current location. She hops a bit in surprise to see an entry!--but being a curious little elf, she skims through the entry, and the comments that follow. Artimidor's comments. Hm. She thinks he perhaps got it half-right. The subjects aren't the problem here, but the verbs.

She pulls out the entry into little letters floating in space. She licks the tip of one finger and taps little phrases, which become imbued suddenly in colors.

Linking verbs and passive constructions = the fastest way to bore a reader.


Linking Verbs
Passive Constructions
Spelling errors

Name
Blackbeetle Paint or Eioiei Uhll in Brownie


Overview
Blackbeetle Paint is a vivid blue dye made by the Vale Brownies  and as you can see from the title is made from blackbeetles. The paint is made only made by the Bubbler Clan and in the clan by a very few.  Many Vale Brownie ladies as well as men adorn there clothes as well as beads with the Blackbeetle Paint.


Description of the Product
It is a deep blue paint, and the dye is thick and sticky and it could be used as a sort of blue glue. The blue is almost as intense as Udenza pottery but with a sheen like Baveras' Eye. Blackbeetle paint is very thick and is very good at dying beads and clothes. When it is put on cloth it will be absorbed into the cloth within minutes and form and thick blue covering.  If it is put on most cloth it will pretty much destroy any former color. The primary exception is very bright shades of yellow and red which will ever so slightly show through the dye. Blackbeetle dye is so thick that the brownies need to grease spoons simply to get it out of the wooden pots they store the paint in.

Method of Production
The Blackbeetle paint is made from the skin between the wing and the wing case of a male black beetle. It is made only by skilled and proven members of the Bubbler Clan. A  blackbeettle's outer hard shell is soaked in water for several days and then is cut up and ground up. After that it is mixed with bones and other scraps and ground once again. Then the maker mixes it with a secret mixture of different liquids, after  that the brownies then store it in wooden pots and place it underground for use in festivals.  When it is used for makeup it requires at least two tots of water to dilute it as when it is undiluted it can cause rashes.


Areas of Production
The dye is only made deep within the Council Tree of the Vale Brownies. Blackbeetle paint is highly used to dye the varieties of beads produced by the Brownies. Plenty of shipments of Blackbeetle Paint get traded with the Eyelains and the Tenthrum Clan. Many dyes and the beads that are dyed by them are carried in rat drawn wagons and Arrowhead Geese.  

Usage
The blackbeetle dye is often used to dye beads as well as providing a beautiful glue that can be used for so many wonderful technological advances so commonly associated with the Vale Brownies. The dye can also be used as a form of makeup for brownie ladies during festivals. Many male brownies as well use it and both genders have Brownies who could not imagine festivals without it. It can be used as a dye for beads and makes a glossy finish in addition to its deep blue shades.

History of the Industry
In 894 b.S Bubbler Clan was formed.  Probably during that time the beadwork so classic to the brownies became widespread to the Vale Brownies, and it is believed that during that time the Blackbeetle Paint was invented. The longterm trading applications that led to the Vale Brownies wealth were founded sometime in near the year 900.

Lore and Legend
This small passage is the only text that clearly defines the beginning  of the blackbeetle paint. It is belived that it dates back to the year 595 becuase of the aging of the ink indicates sometime near then.

Many years ago the brownies say a blackbeetle  was being hunted. The Blackbeetle was running around great distances and it took many hours to catch it. When it finally was slain the hunters carried it to the council tree. The brownies were happy to see their favorite food being served but only one village the one that caught it ate it. The diffrent clans were tearing apart the flesh. Members of the  Hotfinger clan cooked the meat, the Brightler Clan was using bits of the head as decorations, every brownie in the village was happy. There was only one brownie  who wasn’t very happy. He was a member of the Bubbler Clan and he had nothing to do. His name was Keckee. He was only 15 and just days before he had joined the Bubbler Clan. He wasn’t experienced enough to do anything else so he just sat there. Beside him a elder brownies was stripping the skin off a piece of the beetle. The young brownie grabbed a piece and sat on it. Later he got up and found a bit of sweating crunched up beetle skin. He picked it up and it crumbled into a deep blue powder. And that is how the Blackbeetle Paint was invented.
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« Reply #14 on: 31 October 2009, 07:13:09 »

Thank you so much for the comments Rayne and Artimidor. I think I am finished with my edits.  thanx
« Last Edit: 31 October 2009, 10:02:56 by Aaron Silverleaf » Logged
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