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Author Topic: Antislar Fire Blade, Hand and a Half Sword  (Read 18810 times)
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« on: 29 October 2009, 15:35:14 »

Antislar Fire Blade

The Antislar Fire Blade is a strange weapon from the human tribe of the Iol Peninsula.  The Antislar people are nearly the sole wielders of this strange blade, for reasons that are discussed further in the entry.   Called a Fire Blade, it gets its name for being, quite literally, a blade that is on fire.  Created from Doom Steel, a metal derived from the lava pools of the Isthmus of Doom, the blade can be ignited by holding it to flame, and can only be extinguished by immersing in water for a few moments until all flame is gone.

Description

These swords are rather plain in appearance.  With a blade averaging a ped in length, it has a grip that is made long enough for either one or two handed wielding.  The blade is often flat and tapers slightly wider toward the tip, rather than to the hilt.  The last few nailsbreadths then meet sharply to a point.  In its normal state, the sword looks like many swords.  The blade is a grayish colour of metal, with a deep fuller, known as a blood groove, to channel blood away from the victim and avoid suction when removing from a body.  After use, the blade can take on a sooty norsidian colour, which can be polished, which most warriors do in order to keep the blades properties hidden until needed once more.  Near the end of its life, the steel can also take on a bluish hue from the intense heating the metal endures.

The hilt includes a cross guard, usually plain but sometimes ornate with carved symbols on it, as well as a leather wrapped grip and a ball shaped pommel.  The pommel is usually the part of the sword that gets the most decoration.  Sometimes the ball is etched with designs of vines, mountains, or any number of nature scenes.  Other times, this ball is replaced by an ornate design, such as a skull, or a dragon head, or other fierce looking symbol.  It usually depends on the owners tastes at the time of forging.  

It must be noted that the cross guard is made from regular steel that is made with a slot so that the blade can be pushed through to the tang, the part of the sword unseen beneath the grip.  The grip then is leather wrapped around the tang, over which a round wooden handle is placed, then another thick wrapping of leather.  These two additions to the sword keep the hand safe from the heating of the flaming sword, though it takes some getting used to in order to grip the handle, as it is thicker than mundane swords.  Gloves are also used by the wielders of this weapon in order to protect the hand from the intense heat generated.

The flame of a fire sword changes colour depending on the amount of time it has been used.  Owners of the swords use this colour spectrum to judge the life left in the sword.  When new, the fire sword produces a strong, bright yellow flame.  As it burns, the flame will change to an orange colour, then to a red, a purple and finally a blue.  The amount of flame is also an indicator.  When yellow, the flame can be up to two palmspans thick around the blade, creating a torch effect.  As it ages, when the flame is a blue colour, it is more like a fluid that flows around the blade barely a few nailbreadths thick.  The more knowledgeable procurers of fire blades would never buy or accept a blade without lighting it up for a brief moment in order to see the colour and intensity of the blade in order to judge its life left.

Usage

Troops from the Antislar army are given an array of mundane weapons; swords, spears, maces and the like, much like you would find in nearly any army.  Where they differ is that the Antislar army has two specialized and smaller divisions within the army; an offensive unit called the Wargs, and a defensive unit called the Paxens.  The names are distinguished by how the creatures act in nature, as wargs attack violently, while Paxen are defensive animal, working together.  The offensive unit is trained in the two handed version of the fire sword.  These troops are usually sent into battle first when the main army is attacking, then backed up by regular troops afterward.  They accomplish much in the way of terrifying the enemy with their lighted swords and the carnage they deliver. The other unit, using it as a one handed sword and shield, are used more to defend strategically important objectives.  If a pitted battle takes place, the defenders use their flaming swords to cause uncertainty and pause within the attacking army.

An example of this can be seen in the Battle of Mantle Woods.  This battle took place in 1292 AS during the Fourth Orcish War, in the Mantle Woods, which at that time was held by the Antislar Army.  They had taken the forest one year earlier from the Remusians, and held on to it with a tenuous hold.  The Remusians made a push to retake the woods with an incursion into the forest that far outnumbered the defending force.  This force, however, was equipped with fire swords, and they put up a powerful and brave fight.  They sent word south to the main army for reinforcements, but because of a strategic push there, they were unable to send help, except for a unit of 500 warriors equipped with two handed fire swords.

It took three days for this rescue force to make it to the battle.  The defenders had managed to hold on to their ground and with the reinforcements, actually repelled the Remusian offensive.  The Remusians refer to this as the Battle of a Thousand Lights, referring to the flaming swords that the Antislar defenders used against them.  The result of this key battle was that the Remusians would never again occupy the Mantle Woods.  The war was to last for another two years, but further to the south.

Fighting Style

Having the taper wider nearer the tip puts the weight balance toward the tip, making the weapon very effective at slashing.  As one swings the sword, it carries further into flesh, should it find its mark.  Of course, some detractors of this style of blade are quick to point out that this also can make the sword a bit unwieldy and slow to correct an errant swing.  The tip of this sword has a very shallow point, and is not as good as a thrusting weapon, though it certainly can be used as such if need be.

The grip is such that the blade can be used as a one handed sword and shield style weapon, or used as a two handed offensive weapon.  Typically, the more offensive troops use the two handed method, while more defensive troops use the one handed style with a shield.

The fire setting of the weapon is used somewhat sparingly.  When it is used, it increases the intimidation factor of the weapon, causing many troops facing it to wither and flee.  However, this comes at a price.  Doom steel breaks down with burning.  A typical sword can only burn for maybe a day before it starts to become more brittle, leaving the danger of a warrior holding a broken blade in the middle of a fight.  It is true that a piece of Doom steel can burn for up to five days, it breaks down as it burns, turning in time to a pile of ash.  It is because of this, that troops do not light their swords unless absolutely necessary and they extinguish their swords as soon as possible.  The degeneration of the metal is cumulative, so lighting a sword for several hours one day, then again the next, seems to have the same result as leaving the sword flaming for a day.  Because of this the army usually sends extra swords with any unit that expects to find action.

Origin/History

Doom steel was discovered many years ago by the people of Antislar, thought to be during the Age of Blood .  It was used for many items, such as lighting sources in buildings for years, before it was finally turned into a weapon.  The first swords were created from Doom steel shortly before the Third Sarvonian War.  It was used to great extent in their battles with the Remusians.  The name of the actual person who invented it has been lost in the annals of time, though there is an old Antislar myth surrounding it.  In years since, only the most experienced and well trained smiths work to make Doom steel swords.  Like any product made with Doom steel, it is a dangerous process and many smiths have been maimed or killed while working on a sword or other object, shaping it and sharpening it.  One errant spark can cause the item to ignite instantly, causing severe burns to the smith, as well as the potential to burn down the smithy.

Bellerius and the Demon Sword

Somewhere in the time before time, there lived a warrior named Bellerius.  Brave was he, and a hero among the people of the village of Carahai, near the borders of the Isthmus of Doom.  Now it came to be that the village was the target of evil ice creatures from the north, who demanded the sacrifice of a young maiden each full moon.  Many a warrior had tried to fight the ice creatures.  Tried and failed.

It happened that during one particular fell winter that Bellerius' true love, a fetching beauty known as Alaahna, was chosen to be the new moon bride, as was called the sacrifice to put a sweeter name on a bitter prospect.  One might imagine that Bellerius was less than enthusiastic with the notion of giving his true love to the Kalta'hnk that came down from the north with the winter winds, but you would be wrong, only in so much that annoyed barely began to describe his ire.

It was five days before the full moon, when the Kalta'hnk would come a calling for Alaahna, and Bellerius set out to meet them.  Strong as a paxen was he, with a heart of a caracal, he met them on a frozen lake.  Tall were they, like trees on legs, towering above him and full of disdain for the mortal man.  

"Who are you that dares stand in our way?  We are coming for our tribute!"

"I am Bellerius!  It is I who claim right over the woman that you seek as tribute!"

"Begone Bellerius, before our generosity wanes and we demand more from you than a single offering."

Bellerius was not about to be deterred.   Taking his spear, he hurled it at the giants.  The spear flew true and fast, faster than the Snow Falcon in a dive.  It hit the lead giant in the chest, and a thunderous roar shook the world.  Ice burst from the creature, but when all was said and done, the Kalta'hnk was unharmed and laughed at the hero.

With grim determination, and nerves of stone, Bellerius pulled forth his great mace and moved forward.  He lept and swung.  The great mace sang as it whistled through the frosty air until it found its mark.  The gods themselves stopped what they were doing and looked down on the world and the noise that came from the attack of Bellerius.  But noise was all there was, and the giant was unharmed.  

With a sweep of its massive arm that bowled over nearby trees and caused a great wind to rush forward like a blizzard across the land, the Kalta'hnk swatted Bellerius aside like a bear swats at the flies around its face.  Bellerius tried to dodge, but the creature was too fast, too cunning, and the hero was caught by the frozen hand.  As man has dreamt of flight, Bellerius flew that day.  High in the sky, over hill and valley, above the trees and beasts below, did Bellerius fly.  For two days he did not touch the ground, making friends with the injera and drinking rain from the clouds.

On the third day, Bellerius did land, and he rolled for five strals.  When he stood on his feet, he found that snow and ice no longer crunched beneath his feet.  No longer did breath form clouds before his face.  No longer did his eyes behold the white of snow, the green of trees or the blue of grass.  The ground around him was bare, was sterile, was death itself.  He stepped forward and steam rose from a hole in the world, followed by a spray taller than the tallest trees of water so hot that should tea be made from it, it could not be drank for one week.  Standing there, surrounded by the striped hills, amongst the gods footstools, he was at a loss, and he began to wail aloud, callling for vengeance against the giants that threatened his love and the gods who did nothing to help.

A cry then issued forth from the ground, a cry so loud that Bellerius stopped his wailing and covered his ears until it stopped.  Once the air was still, once the cry had gone, there was a silence louder than the trumpet of the thunderfoot.  The world began to shake, and a rift opened up before Bellerius, a rift so long and deep that it appeared the world had split in two and the Void had rushed in to fill its place.

But Void it was not, for fire had filled the gap, fire that flowed and melted the rock at the hero's feet.  Fire that boiled, fire that bubbled, fire that splashed and licked at the world around it, wanting to consume it all.  But the fire was not alive, but life came from the fire, came in the form of a creature so foul that Bellerius stepped back and his heart beat in a way it had never done so before, it beat with fright.  Skin the colour of glowing embers, eyes like the blackness of the midnight sky, fangs the colour of the injera, the creature rose from the fiery depths.  It cast its deathly gaze upon the man who stood before it and saw that he was afraid.

"Who dares wake me from my slumber?"

"It is I, Bellerius of the Antislar."

"Bellerius of the Antislar, why do you wake me?  Do you not know who I am?  I am Gragach'or, Lord of the Molten Earth, master of the Kura'thun, the denizens of the fiery pools."

"I did not mean to wake you, oh great and powerful Gragach'or.  I was sent here in my battle with the ice giants from the north who I wish to destroy to protect my people!"

The creature was moved, the creature was angered, the creature was loud, as its great maw opened to show its dagger like teeth, long as Bellerius' forearm, as it howled its rage into the air.

"Bellerius of the Antislar, I too share your hatred of the ice giants of the north.  Long have they tried to destroy the Kura'thun.  Long have we battled them and their deathly cold."

"Then, Lord Gragach'or, we Antislar have a saying; "Our hatred mingles like the seed of our fathers and makes us brothers in the battle to come.'  Therefore, you are my brother and I will fight your battles with you."

"Very well, my brother of the Antislar, I shall bestow upon you a gift befitting a brother of mine."

The fiery lord Gragach'or then reached beneath the liquid rock and pulled forth a blade as long as Bellerius was tall, a blade so fine that the gods themselves could have forged no better, a sword so beautiful that the injera would cry, should it ever be destroyed.

"Take this, my brother, take this and destroy our foe.  This is the Sword of Fiery Doom.  Use this against our foes and you shall prevail.  Whisper to it my name before you strike your first blow, and you shall see the power of the sword, and the true gift I give to you."

Bellerius took the sword that was a tall as he, the blade so fine the gods would covet, and the sword that would bring tears to the injera's eyes, and he strode forward.  For two days he marched until he found the ice giants.  The Kalta'hnk were gathered 'round the maiden, preparing to devour the one true love of Bellerius, his Alaahna.  At the same time the creatures saw Bellerius and they did laugh.

"Insignificant mortal, do you not fear me yet?  Do you not know the power that we possess?  Do you not know that you shall perish if you strike me again?"

"I do not fear you, foul creature of ice!  For I have power beyond that of you.  And it is you that shall perish under the hatred of my steel."

The hero then held the sword before him, and passed his lips sprang the word, the whisper, the power of the name Gragach'or!  At once the sword became a beacon of power, a shining strength that burned with the fires of Doom and the hatred of Bellerius for the creatures before him.  He struck, the sword hitting the leader of the ice giants.  A scream, a howl, a desecration of the stillness of the frozen air burst forth from the creature as sword bit into ice, gnawed at the frozen heart of the monster, chewed through the soul of the giant.  Where once a single ice creature did stand, now two halves lay melting in the snow.

There was a pause, a hesitation, a stoppage of the world as the ice giants regarded their fallen brother.  "Impossible!" cried one, "Unbelievable" shouted a second, "Inconceivable!" moaned a third.  As one, they attacked.  But, Bellerius was ready, and the flaming sword arced and sang through the air, delivering justice and death where it struck. One, then two, then three of the creatures fell, becoming puddles of evil on the frozen snow of the ground, until no creature stood.  At once the sword gave up its fiery power, becoming a sword of man once more, and Bellerius was able to save his one true love, his Alaahna.

In the coming years, Bellerius would meet the creatures as they came for their tribute each full moon.  Each time he would bring the sword, and whisper the name of Gragach'or.  Each time he would dispatch the evil, the ice giants, the Kalta'hnk.  And Bellerius passed on his sword to his children from Alaahna, and to each of his children he passed the gift of Gragach'or.  And he passed on the brotherhood, the ally of the Isthmus of Doom, and the Lord of the Molten Earth, master of the Kura'thun, the denizens of the fiery pools.

And to the children of Bellerius, Gragach'or gifted the Sword of Fire, the Blade of Flames, and the Steel of Doom.
« Last Edit: 12 December 2009, 02:54:06 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #1 on: 29 October 2009, 15:40:26 »

Notes of note: 

Doom Steel will be expanded upon in the Isthmus of Doom entry.  It will be a moten metal found in lava pools in this hostile environment.  It is uncommon and dangerous to work with, and will have many other uses besides weapons, such as outside lighting on streets and indoor lighting in sconces.

The Battle of Mantle Woods as well as the Fourth Orcish War will be detailed more in future entries, and have been mentioned in the Remusian entry, as well as in my Remusian history timetable.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #2 on: 29 October 2009, 19:28:39 »

That is a terribly volcanic area up there.... somehow the disc's surface has to be very thin...  or a lot of demons underneath...

Will read it when you are finished with it, Alt :)

Maybe put it in the proposed pics thread, must be cool to paint it.
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« Reply #3 on: 29 October 2009, 21:16:56 »

I have three problems with this entry.

1. Once again, Alt brings forth another idea worth stealing borrowing. Its bad enough I took the Antislar as blood stock for my tribe, and your snowflake bugs were interesting. Now this! Doom steel!  drool

2. We're throwing around the word "doom" like candy. I'm going to have to change my gorge name again.  ;)

3. The following deserves a nice myth:

Quote
The name of the actual person who invented it has been lost in the annals of time.

I propose a cool myth where a particularly nasty Antislar made a pact with a demon to receive the gift of doom steel in exchange for something equally nefarious. But that's just the Osthemangar in me talking.  devilish

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« Reply #4 on: 29 October 2009, 21:52:52 »

Ah, no, Azhira, your gorge is so far away, you can't expect, that such a word like doom will be used just once!

If you insist, why do you not use something with abyss, abysm?
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« Reply #5 on: 29 October 2009, 22:20:20 »

 rolleyes  Azhira at the time I was writing this, you were still looking for a name for your gorge area.  I named the steel after the area where it was found, the Isthmus of Doom, which is already on the maps.  But, as you had changed your name to Doomfell Gorge before I posted this, if you don't want to share the Doom brand, I can change the name.  I did not mean to step on toes.  :P
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« Reply #6 on: 30 October 2009, 01:19:56 »

So far I have just read the overview and description.  This is a really cool sword.  I am finding it hard to leave the North to explore other areas of Santharia.

Couple of questions:  While the sword is not in flame, would not the blade be black or at least charred looking?  Perhaps the Doom Steel is impervious to ash and soot but I imagine it would look burnt.  Either way I think it is worth mentioning.

Also I was wondering if there could be any creativity in the color of the fire.  Does Doom Steel produce only yellow flame or could their be a reason to cause the flame to be red, green or blue?  Perhaps we could come up with a reason why the flame color is dependant on how the sword is made.  Up to you. Just an idea.
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« Reply #7 on: 30 October 2009, 01:28:44 »

Like the idea of a burning sword and this entry is awesome.  cool I just have a few comments.

Quote
Antislar Fire Blade
Edits in this wonderful maroon

The Antislar Fire Blade is a strange weapon from the human tribe of the Iol Peninsula.  The Antislar people are nearly the sole wielders of this strange blade, for reasons that are discussed further in the entry. And why is this wouldn't the enemies of the Antislar just pillage the swords from the bodies of their foes.  Called a Fire Blade, it gets its name for being, quite literally, a blade that is on fire.  Created from Doom Steel, a metal derived from the lava pools of the Isthmus of Doom, the blade can be ignited by holding it to flame, and can only be extinguished by immersing in water for a few moments until all flame is gone.

Description

These swords are rather plain in appearance.  With a blade averaging a ped in length, it has a grip that is made long enough for either one or two handed wielding.  The blade is often flat and tapers slightly wider toward the tip, rather than to the hilt.  The last few nailsbreadths then meet sharply to a point.  In its normal state, the sword looks like many swords. I don't particularly under stand that part.  The blade is a grayish colour of metal, with a deep fuller, known as a blood groove, to channel blood away from the victim and avoid suction when removing from a body.

The hilt includes a cross guard, usually plain but sometimes ornate with carved symbols on it, as well as a leather wrapped grip and a ball shaped pommel.  The pommel is usually the part of the sword that gets the most decoration.  Sometimes the ball is etched with designs of vines, mountains, or any number of nature scenes.  Other times, this ball is replaced by an ornate design, such as a skull, or a dragon head, or other fierce looking symbol.  It usually depends on the owners tastes at the time of forging.  

It must be noted that the cross guard is made from regular steel that is made with a slot so that the blade can be pushed through to the tang, the part of the sword unseen beneath the grip.  The grip then is leather wrapped around the tang, over which a round wooden handle is placed, then another thick wrapping of leather.  These two additions to the sword keep the hand safe from the heating of the flaming sword, though it takes some getting used to in order to grip the handle, as it is thicker than mundane swords.  Gloves are also used by most wielders of this weapon. Only most users use gloves wouldn't all of them need it?

Usage

Troops from the Antislar army are given an array of mundane weapons; swords, spears, maces and the like, much like you would find in nearly any army.  Where they differ is that the Antislar army has two divisions within the army; an offensive unit, and a defensive unit.  The offensive unit is equipped with the two handed version of the fire sword.  These troops are usually sent into battle first when the army is attacking, then backed up by regular troops afterward.  They accomplish much in the way of terrifying the enemy with their lighted swords and the carnage they deliver. The other unit, ones with a one handed sword and shield, are used more to defend strategically important objectives.  If a pitted battle takes place, the defenders use their flaming swords to cause uncertainty and pause within the attacking army.

An example of this can be seen in the Battle of Mantle Woods.  This battle took place in 1292 AS during the Fourth Orcish War, in the Mantle Woods, which at that time was held by the Antislar Army.  They had taken the forest one year earlier from the Remusians, and held on to it with a tenuous hold.  The Remusians made a push to retake the woods with an incursion into the forest that far outnumbered the defending force.  This force, however, was equipped with fire swords, and they put up a powerful and brave fight.  They sent word south to the main army for reinforcements, but because of a strategic push there, they were unable to send help, except for a unit of 500 warriors equipped with two handed fire swords.

Fighting Style
It took three days for this rescue force to make it to the battle.  The defenders had managed to hold on to their ground and with the reinforcements, actually repelled the Remusian offensive.  The Remusians refer to this as the Battle of a Thousand Lights, referring to the flaming swords that the Antislar defenders used against them.  The result of this key battle was that the Remusians would never again occupy the Mantle Woods.  The war was to last for another two years, but further to the south.

Having the taper wider nearer the tip puts the weight balance toward the tip, making the weapon very effective at slashing.  As one swings the sword, it carries further into flesh, should it find its mark.  Of course, some detractors of this style of blade are quick to point out that this also can make the sword a bit unwieldy and slow to correct an errant swing.  The tip of this sword has a very shallow point, and is not as good as a thrusting weapon, though it certainly can be used as such if need be. Just one comment on this couldn't the weilder of a fire blade simply touch the enemy and burn them in unprotected spots.

The grip is such that the blade can be used as a one handed sword and shield style weapon, or used as a two handed offensive weapon.  Typically, the more offensive troops use the two handed method, while more defensive troops use the one handed style with a shield.

The fire setting of the weapon is used somewhat sparingly.  When it is used, it increases the intimidation factor of the weapon, causing many troops facing it to wither and flee.  However, this comes at a price.  Doom steel breaks down with burning.  A typical sword can only burn for maybe a day before it starts to become more brittle, leaving the danger of a warrior holding a broken blade in the middle of a fight.  It is true that a piece of Doom steel can burn for up to five days, it breaks down as it burns, turning in time to a pile of ash.  It is because of this, that troops do not light their swords unless absolutely necessary and they extinguish their swords as soon as possible.  The degeneration of the metal is cumulative, so lighting a sword for several hours one day, then again the next, seems to have the same result as leaving the sword flaming for a day.  Because of this the army usually sends extra swords with any unit that expects to find action. To me it seems rather strange for a degrading powerful weapon to be simply be given to the main body of troops.

Origin/History

Doom steel was discovered many years ago by the people of Antislar, thought to be around 500 BS.  It was used for many items, like lighting sources in buildings for years before it was finally turned into a weapon.  The first swords were created from Doom steel shortly before the Third Sarvonian War.  It was used to great extent in their battles with the Remusians.  The name of the actual person who invented it has been lost in the annals of time.  In years hence, only the most experienced and well trained smiths work to make Doom steel swords.  Like any product made with Doom steel, it is a dangerous process and many smiths have been maimed or killed while working on a sword or other object, shaping it and sharpening it.  One errant spark can cause the item to ignite instantly, causing severe burns to the smith, as well as the potential to burn down the smithy.
« Last Edit: 30 October 2009, 01:36:55 by Aaron Silverleaf » Logged
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« Reply #8 on: 04 November 2009, 06:05:24 »

Myth was added.  Note that it is written in Antislar style, and not in more dour (did Talia say dry? :P) style used by the Remusians.


Edits were posted in Purple.  Thanks to those who took time to comment. :)

To those comments I have not addressed in the entry, my reasons below:

And why is this wouldn't the enemies of the Antislar just pillage the swords from the bodies of their foes.  I assume they would be, hence I noted that
Quote
The Antislar people are nearly the sole wielders of this strange blade
, meaning that some other people could possess the swords.  But, the location of the doom steel would make large scale production of the sword too difficult for large scale production by other peoples.

I don't particularly under stand that part  Just that it looks like your average everyday sword.  It doesn't have an upswept crosspiece, or a sawblade type blade or anything fantastic.

Just one comment on this couldn't the weilder of a fire blade simply touch the enemy and burn them in unprotected spots.  Of course, but it is a sword, so I'm describing it as such and not as simply a burning branch.

To me it seems rather strange for a degrading powerful weapon to be simply be given to the main body of troops.  It is not given to the main body of troops.  It is given to the smaller special units, one a defensive minded force and one a more offensive force.  I hopefully cleared this up in the Usages section. :)

« Last Edit: 04 November 2009, 06:55:36 by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: 04 November 2009, 06:53:30 »

Well I just love this entry.  Not only is this weapon cool but there is a cool story to go behind it.  Ice Giants, Fire guys, flaming swords, I will never be able to get all the things done that need illustrating.  Guess i'll just have to take them one by one.

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« Reply #10 on: 04 November 2009, 08:04:17 »

I love that myth!!! It is long enough for an extra entry!

And how you can write all of a sudden!
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« Reply #11 on: 04 November 2009, 11:37:59 »

This is really interesting. I have a couple grammer nit picks, but feel free to ignore them. Grammer is by no means my strong suit.

Quote
He stepped forward and steam rose from a hole in the world, followed by a spray taller than the tallest trees of water so hot that should tea be made from it, it could not be drank for one week.

I think it should be drunk, not drank.

Quote
In years hence, only the most experienced and well trained smiths work to make Doom steel swords.

I think it should be years since, rather than years since, since "hence" carries a connotation of time still in the future at the time of writing.

It really is an awesome entry, and a very interesting read.
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« Reply #12 on: 04 November 2009, 11:53:12 »

And how you can write all of a sudden!

This made me laugh hard for some reason!  rolling

Anyway, a wonderful entry! An awesome weapon coupled with a fantastic myth. Now THAT is a myth! I need to take notes on how to do that... computer

Ok, some comments!

First, we need a new name for the iciclemonsters. Since we both plan to use them in Iol and Caaehl'heroth, we'll need different names for them. Or, at least one name that has originated somewhere and used in other places. Perhaps stories of the iciclemonster originated with the Ice tribes and was carried throughout the North.

Second, I think you need a name for these "offensive" and "defensive" units. You get rather technical there like a football game  ;) Perhaps a native name for such a specialty group of warriors who wield these fire blades.

Third, injera is Styrash for sun. Would the Antislar use Styrash? huh

Lastly, you give a rather specific date of 500 b.S. as to the discovery of the steel. What I like to do is instead give the age if it took place so long ago. Makes it sound more more "fantasy" rather than dry numbers. For example, 500 b.S. would be in the Age of Blood (quite fitting, yes?). You could say "Doom steel was discovered many years ago by the people of Antislar, at a time during the Age of Blood..." This gives the event a period in history and also sounds cool.  thumbup Just a suggestion.

Otherwise, nice work! The North has fire blades!  clap
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« Reply #13 on: 05 November 2009, 05:45:16 »

*wonders what time it was in the time before time*  grin

- Don't forget to put the sword in a sword category for the menu.

- Interesting idea this Doom Steel, and very unusual and creative new properties for a sword you've got there, Alt. It's really something I haven't read about in a similar way yet.

- 5 should be written as "five", especially in stories...

- They myth is also very well written and enjoyable, some passages are exceptionally good! Really like the imagery that lies in sentences like "For two days he did touch the ground (assume there's a "not" missing, though!), making friends with the injera and drinking rain from the clouds." etc.

Oh yea, Aura +1 from me!
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« Reply #14 on: 10 November 2009, 23:47:05 »

I have a name for the icicle monster, at least an orcen name: "Kalta'hnk" (lit. "Ice Biter").

Or, "Kalta'harach" (Kal'harach for short) (lit. "Ice Berserker") The word comes from ogre berserker, as ogres are larger than orcs and the resemblance could be similar like an ogre type beast made of ice.

Since "Titan" is more a Avarian/South Santharian term, I would not use that to describe the icicle monster.

Possible Kuglimz names could be the "Ice Hook beast" or "Mon'jyrl" since their description could be taken that the icicle monster has large hook type claws for hands.

Frost Stalker, Ice Ripper etc...

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