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Author Topic: Another Septimus ditty  (Read 4987 times)
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Tharoc Wargrider
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« on: 27 February 2010, 09:32:44 »

Here is yet another bawdy verse from the pen of Septimus Smallpiece. Sung to the tune of "If I only had a brain" from The Wizard of Oz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOKK8mAkiUI

This should serve as a cautionary tale to young Santharians of a certain age.

                                          Was it you?

Was it you who did the pushin'
Left the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the headboard upside down?
Was it you who had my daughter?
If it was you really oughta,
Be making plans for getting out of town.

It was me that did the pushin'
Left the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the headboard upside down.
But ever since I had your daughter,
I've had trouble passing water,
So I guess that makes us even all around.

When we thought the cats were howlin',
Was it you who did the yowlin',
Making music with your partner like a hound?
Right behind the old back thirty,
Gettin' down and getting dirty,
Crumpled bracken in the spinney on the ground?

Did you leave a little token?
For my daughter's heart is broken,
Not to mention other possibilities,
And if you have played the villain,
And her belly soon is fillin',
We will hang you from the nearest urban tree.

I agree that Puss was yowlin',
Though I made her do some howlin',
She returned the favour with her little claws,
And from evidence internal,
And a sort of general burn-all,
I'm quite sure the only thing I broke was laws.


« Last Edit: 20 March 2010, 17:28:27 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Tharoc Wargrider
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« Reply #1 on: 02 March 2010, 00:21:34 »

I'm just wondering whether the absence of any comments on this verse means that no-one wants to admit to thinking it funny?

Or does no-one want to be the one to tell me off?  grin
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #2 on: 02 March 2010, 00:34:42 »

Well, this site ís supposed to be okay for minors..

So i guess we should label this as 'highly educational' and feature it on the front page, or something evil
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Avrah Kehabhra

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« Reply #3 on: 02 March 2010, 00:42:07 »

He, he. I like the way you think, Mira!

Seriously though, do you think it's overstepping the mark, or have I managed to disguise all the naughty bits well enough?  shocked
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #4 on: 02 March 2010, 00:45:06 »

Tharoc...forget Hell'wrung.

Change your masterwork to do a complete and utterly funny and dark Septimus pinnacle of verse. I am tired of seeing you with that apprentice plaque!  :P

Not every masterwork has to be a serious Places entry. Not sure how that trend started... ;)
« Last Edit: 02 March 2010, 00:46:43 by Azhira Styralias » Logged

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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #5 on: 02 March 2010, 00:47:04 »

Oh.. the neon paintjob and flaring pyrotechnics display was a disguise?

I don't have any trouble with it, but i'm no minor, and no parent (please not!)...
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Avrah Kehabhra

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Tharoc Wargrider
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« Reply #6 on: 02 March 2010, 01:02:51 »

Quote
Oh.. the neon paintjob and flaring pyrotechnics display was a disguise?

I never said it was a good disguise, did I?

Quote
I don't have any trouble with it, but i'm no minor, and no parent (please not!)...

And therein lies my problem, y'see. Neither am I.
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #7 on: 02 March 2010, 01:38:14 »

So you mean ... I could have done my masterwork of Sordoc the Great REALLY writing the full version of Ode to the Paxen?
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #8 on: 02 March 2010, 01:48:29 »

So you mean ... I could have done my masterwork of Sordoc the Great REALLY writing the full version of Ode to the Paxen?

Yes Dek. You could have. There is no formal definition of a masterwork. Why most people pick serious, huge entries that take years to write and research is beyond me. I choose those entries out of personal preference.

Oh.. the neon paintjob and flaring pyrotechnics display was a disguise?

I don't have any trouble with it, but i'm no minor, and no parent (please not!)...

This whole idea of offending minors is a joke, right? Do we serious consider offending children who may read this site? Do young kids even care about such a site as Santharia? Why worry about such an event that is highly unlikely of happening?
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #9 on: 02 March 2010, 02:23:09 »

We have younger people who are on this site.  We might not offend them as such, but I would hope that we do keep this in the back of our minds.  And even if it did not offend them, it might offend parents who then keep younger folks from participating.

That said, I don't think Tharoc's work crosses that line... yet.  Although, in truth, I did not find this particular piece as funny as Tharoc's other Septimus pieces.  No offense my green friend, just a personal opinion.  But, I'm pretty conservative I guess.  Yet, I thought that We Heard What She Said ditty absolutely hilarious.  Eh.  Who knows.
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« Reply #10 on: 02 March 2010, 03:57:18 »

The voice in the front of my head agrees wholeheartedly with Azhira. I despise censorship of any kind.

However....

When I'm writing a new Septimus piece, the little voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that (a) some people aren't as broad minded as many of us, and (b) this Dream isn't mine to take risks with. If any parent should decide to take offence with something I have written and thereby stop young Johnny from participating, or complain to someone who gives a damn, then I would be distraught.

Usually, when I've written a new bit of bawdity that I think may push the limits, I PM it to Judy, Azzy, Alysse etc to get their opinions before posting, but this time I posted without thinking.

I'm glad to say that I've so far managed to escape any resistance to Septimus' works. On the contrary, most folk seem keen to see more. I'm flattered that my scribblings bring a little joy into your otherwise dull and meaningless little lives.  ;)
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Tharoc Wargrider
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« Reply #11 on: 18 March 2010, 07:10:26 »

Just bumping this for any comments.
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Bard Judith
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« Reply #12 on: 18 March 2010, 10:05:54 »

WARNING:  FOLLOWING POST POSSIBLY NSFW, ESPECIALLY IF YOU CHORTLE OUT LOUD, DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR UNDER 13


There, that warning out of the way, we can get on with it.











Er, that is, to specify, get on with the discussion.  You heard what I said, if not what I meant?

I'm all for bawdy verse - and the best is the least explicit, if you follow me.   Anything where your own gutter-crawling mind can fill in all the possibilities is much funnier than blatant crudities.  It also makes it less likely to 'offend' the minors unless they are already fully aware of what might be going on behind the scenes/under the covers etc.     That said, hopefully the following has not gone 'over the top' either!

Side note:  I would have used 'had' for 'took', but that's personal preference....  (blinks sweetly)   It's been making the rounds for a while in various versions - Paul Butterfield, Oscar Brand, etc.  and I don't suppose its original 'author' wanted to take credit.  However, in the spirit of such an authentically 'folk' song, I shall take the further liberty to add further verses, slightly more Santharianized, if slightly less sanitized...

When we thought the cats were howlin',
Was it you who did the yowlin',
Making music with your partner like a hound?
Right behind the old back thirty,
Gettin' down and getting dirty,
Crumpled bracken in the spinney on the ground?

Did you leave a little token?
For my daughter's heart is broken,
Not to mention other possibilities,
And if you have played the villain,
And her belly soon is fillin',
We will hang you from the nearest urban tree.

I agree that Puss was yowlin',
Though I made her do some howlin',
She returned the favour with her little claws,
And from evidence internal,
And a sort of general burn-all,
I'm quite sure the only thing I broke was laws.

« Last Edit: 18 March 2010, 10:07:30 by Bard Judith » Logged

"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
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« Reply #13 on: 19 March 2010, 03:43:52 »

Another delightful ditty, Judy, and the same applies to Tharoc's latest one, I'll see to include them both in next week's update (uhmmm... could use a title though for your piece, Judy!) thumbup Plus, both works are perfectly acceptable as work of Santharian "literature".

General note on bawdy stuff, to quote Judy:

Quote
I'm all for bawdy verse - and the best is the least explicit, if you follow me. Anything where your own gutter-crawling mind can fill in all the possibilities is much funnier than blatant crudities.

Methinks it needs a somewhat intelligent/adult mind to really get the... erm... juice out of the bawdy stuff which isn't outright explicit. And that's the good thing. So whatever makes the mind go to places that are mostly only hinted at, is ok with me - because that's the most enjoyable thing. And I guess we don't really go overboard with what we do here.

The same rule of thumb of doing borderline stuff only by hinting at what lies beyond applies to other things as well, like how we should deal with violence on the site to give an example. Blatantly brutal and bloody stories for the sake of just being exactly that have been rejected in the past as they cross the line, there is no point in having that on display. However, violence and bawdiness aren't forbidden, and if done correctly both topics won't disturb younger audiences either.
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« Reply #14 on: 19 March 2010, 10:49:18 »

Oh, my contribution was just a follow-up - additional verses to Tharoc's 'Was It You', if he approves them   :P

 And your rule of thumb is much appreciated: subtlety is almost always more effective than explicitness, in whatever genre one is attempting...
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