* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: 1 [2]
Print
Author Topic: The Odomon Sword  (Read 7328 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #15 on: 15 May 2010, 00:23:02 »

In my confusion I wrote acid etching instead of pattern-welding. I don't know how I confused that. Take a look
That's a pattern welded knife showing a damascene steel "finish". It looks a lot like a wood grain, come to think of it.

Also, I'm leaving out the original owners remark. I think that they pass closely enough within families that there are few people who own Odomon blades that didn't acquire them that way.
« Last Edit: 15 May 2010, 00:27:49 by Valan Nonesuch » Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 848



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: 15 May 2010, 02:23:31 »

I was thinking more along the lines of first names...We do have them in the North, although I acceot that they may have a surname on (however, this could be clarified, maybe "the original owner's name, which of course is usually the same as that of the current owner", or some such thing.)

Athviaro the Rabid Remusian
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #17 on: 15 May 2010, 09:09:07 »

Edits in pink

Additional notes: Galthorn iron is just that. Iron. Skilled blacksmiths have trouble working with the plain iron, to say nothing about making steel with it. For Odomon to make steel with Galthorn Iron alone would be make him a master. The fact that he made swords that he could do makes him a legend. I hope to have cleared that up.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 143
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2.415


The Remusian


View Profile
« Reply #18 on: 16 May 2010, 02:21:04 »

Ok, Valan, I'll give this a final lookover for factual errors.  As far as style, you might want someone with better writing skills than I. :P

First:  Ga-thorn!!!  Not Gal-thorn. :)

Other than that, the meat and potatoes part is done.  Like I said, maybe ask another to go over the style bits, as I'm too close to this now and can't see it objectionaly any longer. :)

Consider this a first approval. thumbup
Logged

"Lather...Rinse...Repeat"   Why has God made my life so complicated?

This is what I'm working on
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #19 on: 16 May 2010, 08:07:02 »

Right. All of the Galthorn changed to Gathorn. See if we can't get Seeker in here at some point.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Seeker
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #20 on: 19 May 2010, 12:19:41 »

Great entry.  :D I like the rarity and uniqueness of this weapon.  Some minor comments:

Quote
The guard of the weapon often quite elaborate, being engraved with some symbol of importance to the owners, or simply the blade's name.
Sentence needs a verb.

Quote
Called "Scion of Battles" in Remusian, this sword is always passed on to the heir to the throne upon interring the deceased rule, no sooner.
Do you mean to say “ruler” here?

Quote
The back of the sword seems to be much more flexible than the edge, which resembles Gathorn iron more closely though somehow avoids its brittle quality.
I am confused here.  Is it made of Gathorn or only resembles it.  And how would the back be more flexxible than the edge, especially considering it is much thicker?

Quote
It seems that in the weeks I observed the smith and his sword, a part of me was placed into that blade as well

Punctuation needed

Quote
but the best imitations have been unable to withstand the same rigors at their authentic counterparts.
Do you mean “as” not “at”?

Quote
Odomon made great ceremony of presenting the sword to its master, often giving him the name for the sword when he did so.
Well if he engraved the name in the sword h would have named it before presenting it to the owner.  So what you meant here could be clarified.
Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #21 on: 22 May 2010, 09:33:27 »

Your concerns should be sorted out Seeker.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Seeker
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 465
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.934


Fire Mage


View Profile
« Reply #22 on: 23 May 2010, 12:55:24 »

Well with Altario's first approval I am adding my second approval.  Which comes with a fancy blue arrow.

Great work here.  Another +1 from me.

Thank you for responding to everyone's comments so thouroughly and politely explaining yourself when you disagree.  I find it very easy to work with you on your entries.
« Last Edit: 23 May 2010, 12:57:32 by Seeker » Logged

Every entry deserves a picture.   -Seeker
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 848



View Profile
« Reply #23 on: 23 May 2010, 23:40:18 »

Hey, I know I haven't got the same level of expertise as Seeker or Altario, and I'm loth to comment on an entry with two approvals, but I was going to say that surely all Odomon blades would be tailor made. If you're getting a commissioned blade from a single smith, you're going to havee ordewred it. I understand the Warswords being roughly one-size-fits-all, but the Odomoon I envisaged as being made to order, as it were? I don't want this to re-awaken commenting, because I think the entry is ready, but just that point or an explanation of why only his early blades would be tailor-made. If anything, surely his later ones, when he is famous, would be tailored? Or, if this is injudicious of me, ignore it.

Anyway, AURA+1 for a great entry on a lovely Northern weapon.

Athviaro
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #24 on: 23 May 2010, 23:41:38 »

Its there to be spelt out for the reader Ath. Since they don't have access to this thread or developer's meta.
« Last Edit: 23 May 2010, 23:44:43 by Valan Nonesuch » Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Azhira Styralias
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 132
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2.774


Mód’dél’áey


View Profile
« Reply #25 on: 23 May 2010, 23:58:10 »

Just because an entry is blarrowed doesn't mean that further comments and/or concerns aren't valid. They should still be taken into account by the author if at all possible.  ;)
Logged

No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 848



View Profile
« Reply #26 on: 24 May 2010, 01:10:44 »

@Azhira: Thanks for laying my fears to rest!

@Valan: I'm sorry, I may have mis-communicated what I meant to say. I  meant that the phrase "some blades, earlier examples of Odomon's work, are tailor made" was a bit underwhelming for a master smith, and that better would be "but since all his blades were tailor made to the original owner, they can vary greatly from this norm (in the bit where you talk about the dimensions). Sorry, I wasn't clear which bit I was reffering to, that may have been it. (Or I'm being really stupid)

Athviaro the Not-as-Worried
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Valan Nonesuch
Moderator
****

Gained Aura: 113
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.507


Like a pudding bag full of knives


View Profile
« Reply #27 on: 24 May 2010, 08:18:15 »

Should be sorted for you Ath.
And yes, the blarrow isn't sacrosanct.
Logged

Beyond the horizon where the earth and the heavens meet
lies a certain point where they are not joined together and where, by stooping,
one might pass under the roof of the heavens.
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 64
Offline Offline

Posts: 848



View Profile
« Reply #28 on: 24 May 2010, 15:42:37 »

Thanks - it was just that little thing that caught my eye grin

Athviaro
Logged

"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, The Gay Divorcee, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk - My ramblings on anything to do with the Glandorians - The Glandorian Men (Proposal)
Pages: 1 [2]
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 14
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 19
Total: 19

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx