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Author Topic: The Zohologica  (Read 18756 times)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #60 on: 16 February 2011, 04:45:28 »

Good to see you back again with this one, Jonael! And from the looks of it we seem to have made great progress by now :) May we see the day when we can take a scroll through these proud gardens and enjoy the beasts of Santharia and Caelereth!  thumbup

Ok, some comments, mostly there are some minor misspellings/forgotten words, nothing really that concerns problematic content or so, just a few pointers/ideas here and there:

- Who's this "Kaemis" Ma'akwa-jsal? Should be mentioned in the Overview.

- Also, general question: Why is a zoo called "zoho" in Santharia? Might it be a deduction of an Eyelian word mayhap? Then we could root that word really in something that makes proper sense in our world.

- "Compandium" should be "Compendium"

- The Overview should also contain its approximate location. Rough size estimation doesn't hurt either. Just to get the scope of it. Also a year/under which king (we probably can determine this with our Santharian history, which is still on the Forum) when the Zohologica was founded should be placed here at the beginning.

- "The Bestiary Library and Archives serves..." - shouldn't it be "serve"? Then next sentence "Its libraries are..." Whose? The Bestiary Library's libraries? or The Zohologica's libraries? (The latter would be better, so it should be stated more clearly.)

- "Zoholocian Society" - or is it rather "Zohologican Society"?

- "In the whole of Sarvonia there didn't seem to be a peoples more qualified and capable of handling animals than them. The Eyelians, though primitive by most tribes' standards, have a special bond with nature that allows them to handle and interact with animals in a way that no other people can." (Eyelians still exist, right? So present tense!)

- "...stand up to 1 ped and a fore..." - Numbers below thirteen are usually written. Interestingly it's 1 ped and a fore here... lol Later as well: "2 square dashes" etc.

- More work to do still with putting creatures in enclosures as I can see, so make sure to fill these sections with some more details!

- "..."store and provide access to knowledge about the beasts and creatures that roam this world. A vast library of tomes and scriptures, these Libraries form one of the most complete archives of creatures from majestic dragons to the tiniest insect.

Though part of the Zohologica, this aspect of the establishment is partially closed off to the general public. "

- You have a section called "Description", which I don't quite get. Shouldn't the main section be called "Organization" (=what you now have as "People")? And "Description" might better fit further up as on own section, maybe talking about the "Animals" in general (your next subsection)? And then move on to the own enclosures where you describe some creatures in more detail and mention others in cursory form? Just a suggestion.

- "Joining the Board of Fellows is unfortunately an exclusive privilege..."

- Naurooth: A rough mention where exactly it can be found (Mountains, sea close by etc.) can't hurt.

- What's with Drasil/Deci? Are they also members of the board? Anyway, still some details left there! Head Keeper also still in the works as I see...

- "The role this magic hadtoring and maintenance though..." Er... What exactly are you trying to say? ;)

- "Because of this they decided, in order to provide the mages with a sense of establishment over which they had control and authority, it would be best to give them an individual governing body. "

- "...beautiful blue giltra, or the thieving thiefling monkeys are..." (lower case letters!)

- "...the Board of fellows decided to at first distance themselves..."

- "New Santhala" is actually written "New-Santhala".

- A little bit of history would also be good, yup ;)

Anyway, read through it all you have so far, and like it very much as of yet. There are a bunch of gaps that you still need to fill in (especially as far as the animals are concerned), but what you have put down on digital paper is well thought out and put together. Hope the next additions/updates don't last as long as we had to wait for this updated version ;)

Another aura +1, Jonael, for your work so far, looking forward to getting further details more sooner than later...  cool
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« Reply #61 on: 16 February 2011, 07:41:15 »

Zoho comes from the Gnomic, I should inform you, as does the rest of the word.  "Logyia" means "thought" or "investigation", while  "Zoho" means 'natural world'....

As in Terran etymology (there is that suffix again!) it is considered poor form to mix elven, dwarven, or Gnomic derived particles in Tharian...  ;)
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« Reply #62 on: 16 February 2011, 16:08:54 »

A-ha, then we have that covered already, brilliant :) Maybe include that somewhere in a footnote or so.
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« Reply #63 on: 16 February 2011, 17:56:17 »

*looks in the depth of the forum and her own plenty backups for the right santhros*
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« Reply #64 on: 16 February 2011, 18:46:29 »

Jonael, what means 'established'? Opened its gate for the first time, or the plannings began and it was sure, that it would be built?

I 'd like to propose following:  

Plans fixed or the first part with the first animals opened with the plans to expand it far more*: 1643 a.S. That would fall in the regency of Consort Jaleth (1642-1649)

The zohologica could be 'finished' in 1649, yearturn, in time for the coronation of Santhran Tiandor. Or shortly after.  And the santhran takes over as akind of patron for the whole, for it symbolises somehow his plans of reaching out for the world? Consort Jaleth has given the permission to use that land (donation) or bought it from the owners, for Santhran Grothian was very fond of that idea, unfortunately he died in 1642. Maybe you have other ideas to link it to the crown, especially Tiandor somehow? You cannot give it as a present to the coronation, but, *thinks* maybe the king has sponsored important parts? ....  well, the ground, I added this above ;)


*Of course always new animals can be added, but the main part should be finished at some point. a eathen zoo is declared finished at some point also.


Some remarks - but I have only read very few of it, yet. ;)

You write, it should be a zoho for all classes, rich and poor. But, can the poor afford it? Even the journey to the place could be too much for the "poor". Is the entrance free then? Are there hostels for the poor also, where they can stay cheap? Has a whole catering and providing places to sleep business been established outside?

Maybe you could say, that a custom arose in the surrounding (up to 200 strals or so), that children coming of age were granted a trip to the zoho? (Especially for the poorer, the rich ones of course go there twice a year!)

Edit in: Hey, that would be an idea - the nobles pay for the poorer kids in their area so that they are able to do this. Not voluntarily of course, but that was an idea of the santhros to add something to the education of his subjects.

Well, generally keep in mind, that people were not as mobile as today! Apart from fymbels and such kind of people.

I might have missed it - but those who provided the zoho with exotic animals and have their plaques (?) there should also pay for the keeping of the animals, that is where the expenses are!
« Last Edit: 16 February 2011, 19:21:35 by Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels » Logged

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« Reply #65 on: 16 February 2011, 22:28:23 »

Aw, thanks so much Judy and Talia for the great help with the History and Timeline ^^ I was pretty clueless in that area. Now I've got tonnes of leads to go on, ta much!

I'll address all the points you've brought up in the entry and have it updated within the next two days (Artimidor, that includes your wonderful feedback too, cheers)

Talia, zum besten meines Wissens ist 'established' vergleichbar mit "gegründet". Eigentlich ist es einfach ein etwas schöneres Wort für 'to have been set up' und es hat einen 'sophisticated' Ton ^^


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« Reply #66 on: 17 February 2011, 05:38:02 »

@Talia: Short note on Santharian history: Once the Nepris II works are over I'll definitely go back to add more bits of Santharian history from the basic table we've already sketched, in 100 years steps. In the next 100 years we have the first empress, which you wanted to elaborate better, so I hope you can eventually help out with that history entry. Because we really need to make progress here to get history details on site, even if it's only step by step. We can do a few hundred years in 2011, I'm sure :)
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« Reply #67 on: 17 February 2011, 06:24:05 »

:D

I had the same idea today, looked for an hour at the empty history tables, (the last two), at the sketched posts in the history forum and the timeline from Tiandor down (which is not longer on the site, but I still have it), thought, it must be possible to set something up in two hours, but there is too much research and reading into the matter involved, and thoughts, that it cannot be quickly done.
We have still the problem lingering what to do with the royal line we set up and the fact, that the linked hands choose the Santhran out of the thanes. But maybe I have already an idea!

But.. I promised myself, that the next bigger thing I want to finish is divine magic, and then the moon is waiting - but maybe I need something different in between. Today I would have liked to start to fill those empty history tables, but there were many other things to look after and as I said, the priority should not lie on those.  angry
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« Reply #68 on: 19 February 2011, 00:36:11 »

Alright, stitched up some oddities:

@Artimidor,
Quote
- More work to do still with putting creatures in enclosures as I can see, so make sure to fill these sections with some more details!
Yes, the list will be expanded on, however that's something I still need to wait a little with since I need to discuss some aspects of this with Seeker first.

Quote
- What's with Drasil/Deci? Are they also members of the board? Anyway, still some details left there!
I am hoping that at least one of them, being moderators of the Bestiary with me will be enthusiastic enough to join the Board of Fellows. If they are, then a small paragraph of how/why they went about this would be added in to the entry, much like the one for Reve'lor.

- All other points should hopefully have been addressed in the entry, cheers

@ Judy,
- Thank you so much for the explanation of the name again ^^ Don't think I could have found that out. It's been put in, special thanks to you

@Talia,
- Most of your points were also incorporated into the entry as best I could ^^ Check the history paragraph. If the way I put something clashes with the actual flow of history, or the characters of the mentioned people, let me know and I'll go about fixing it.

- I really like the idea with the children and the patrons. I will have to think about that ideal properly though before I put it in though, just because I tried to keep a gritty realistic feel to the Zohologica, and I don't want this 'cross-classes sponsoring' to come across as too idyllic, if you know what I mean?
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« Reply #69 on: 05 April 2011, 05:31:10 »

grin All done, fixed and addressed all issues.

Couple of Notes:

- Relationship between the Nobles & Children: While this idea seemed beautifully intricate, I feel that this cheery image just doesn't fit in to the gritty, selfish and politically motivated air I wanted to lend the nobles and sponsors, so I have left out this idea.

- Flying & Magical Enclosures: I've left these two out from the final entry. My thinking behind this: While I could define the enclosures, in the end, every animals' enclosure should be unique in one way or another. So rather than defining every single enclosure I thought I'd leave some room for the reader to imagine what some of the enclosures are like.

- Head Keeper Paragraph: Fixed and completed, in no small part due to Seeker's help ^^

- List of some of the animals: completed

Ready for another batch of comments and feedback ^^

Once this entry if completed I'm intending to expand on this project by creating fullfledged individual entries for the following pieces:

>___ Canal System

>Bestiary Archives & Library
With similar aims to the Compendium, the Bestiary Library and Archives aims to assemble, store and provide access to knowledge about the beasts and creatures that roam this world. A vast library of tomes and scriptures, these Libraries form one of the most complete archives of creatures from majestic dragons to the tiniest insect.

>The Board of Fellows
The Board of Fellows is the highest ruling power within the Zohologica's structure. Many of its members are acclaimed researchers who have devoted themselves to one or many aspects of Caelereth’s beasts and creatures. A large percentage of these researchers, noblemen and scholars are also full time researchers for the infamous Zohologican Society.

>Kaemis, the Head Keeper
Being a reasonably new establishment, the Zohologica is still run by its first Head Keeper. Since its opening in 1643, this prestigious yet tough job has been handled by the graceful and sharp 'Kaemis' Ma'akwa-jsal. An Eyelian of the Eagle tribe, Ke'imis "Quia" Ma'akwa-jsal is a man not easily forgotten. Though his Eyelian traits of being quiet and controlled remain with him, this man radiates such self-confidence and clarity in his actions that few can now argue knowing anyone else more suited for the role.

>The Mage Faction
Given the proportions and properties of the enclosures planned, the use of magic could not be excluded when working on the Zohologica. It became evident to the founding fathers that they would not be able to achieve their dreams and aspirations without the involvement of magic. However they were aware that to keep the idea of the Zohologica as accessible as possible, they would need to keep the use of such powers subtle. The role this magic had to play in the rearing and maintenance of the enclosures was sizable though, so it was decided that there would be a department dedicated solely to the use of magic involved in creating and maintaining the enclosures.
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #70 on: 05 April 2011, 14:58:40 »

Did you intend to post links to pictures, Jonael? Because if that's the case it didn't really work with the files still on your hard drive....
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #71 on: 05 April 2011, 16:21:56 »

Maybe he gives us access to his comp?  rolling

Just a quick note Jonael.
Consort Jaleth (1642-1649). It was by her gracious donation that the Zohologica received the vast majority of the land surrounding the smaller initial site.

More to come tonight.
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« Reply #72 on: 05 April 2011, 20:29:52 »

Did you intend to post links to pictures, Jonael? Because if that's the case it didn't really work with the files still on your hard drive....

>< Haha, no, those are intentionally blank links.. eventually when the entries have been created they'll link to those... I was just playing around with a 'menu-like' layout. Sorry for the confusion, just me messing around a bit. I can take it out if it bugs ppl, haha

Thanks Talia, I'll be waiting for the rest of your notes
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« Reply #73 on: 08 April 2011, 03:07:30 »

I skimmed over it very quickly only, but what I saw was pleased me! :) That was a great idea, well executed.

I mentioned already, that Consort Jaleth is a 'she', otherwise there is just this paragraph which is basically ok, but somehow I don't like it overly.

Quote
It was not until 1649 that the Zohologica was completed in its full glory. While most will associate the long duration of the works to the dimensions and concepts of the Zohologica, there are some that claim its completion was purposefully delayed as a political stunt to coincide with the coronation of Santhran Tiandor. Whatever the reasons, the official opening of the Zohologica as it stands today in all it's vast glory, was a great celebration. The coinciding of the coronation and opening was later highlighted when the Santhran became one of the major patrons of the Zohologica.

Maybe a better line of thought would be:

Tiandor as the thane of Sanguia supported the Zohologica and it was possibly him who donated the land, not the Consort Jaleth. So, when Tiandor became Santhros, they hurried to get the second part of the Zoho ready to be opened after the Coronation (or around this date), so that its reopening was one of the great festivities held in Tiandor's honour? He could have been part of these festivities, holding a speech or something like this.

What do you think?

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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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« Reply #74 on: 08 April 2011, 08:07:33 »

Awesome Talia, how do you like the new form? Changes marked in lime

I'm glad you like the entry so far, hopefully with the history section fixed up I can close off this entry and focus on the illustration for it
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