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Author Topic: Dyes and Inks of Caelereth  (Read 11561 times)
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #15 on: 30 May 2011, 01:22:54 »

Whoops.

Should be fixed now. 
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #16 on: 06 June 2011, 10:06:28 »

bump.

Anymore comments for this or is this good to go?
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #17 on: 06 June 2011, 23:14:34 »

I'll give this a once over sometime this evening.
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Jonael Tomeskrift
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« Reply #18 on: 07 June 2011, 01:37:27 »

Though the BloodBlood hasn't officially been uploaded yet, I'd be honoured if it made the list. As a  rare ink, maybe? What do you reckon, is it fit for the list? There's a paragraph in the entry which already lends itself quite well as an overview if you wanna just take it out of the original entry
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #19 on: 07 June 2011, 05:15:41 »

Sure!  I see no problem with that.

Looking through the entry's usage section I see no mention of it being used as a dye though. 
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Jonael Tomeskrift
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« Reply #20 on: 07 June 2011, 05:42:07 »

Sure!  I see no problem with that.

Looking through the entry's usage section I see no mention of it being used as a dye though. 

Aye, i dun think there's much of a market for blood stain dyes... as an ink and paint it saves you having to cut yourself up to scribble in your own blood... But yeah, as you said, it's not watertight, just thought there might be just enough to let it float into the entry ^^ up to you
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #21 on: 10 June 2011, 10:14:26 »

Added your Bloodbloom Jonael.   :)
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Jonael Tomeskrift
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« Reply #22 on: 10 June 2011, 14:50:40 »

Thanks Drasil, + from me ;)
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #23 on: 15 June 2011, 23:57:08 »

Hey Drasil. I was thinking for my Blood/Bleeding Empress, that there could be a poignant red colour which comes from their wings. A tedious job, but it would be a greatly desired dye because of its intensity.

The Blood Empress: Found in the Forest of Souls on R'unor, this large moth is hunted for the small red flakes which cover nearly three quarters of its wings. These flakes are used to mix a poignant red ink, but of a very small amount. This ink can be used as a paint or a dye, if enough has been collected. This ink is greatly sought after by those of rank, and who can afford its steep price.


Probably having a clearer idea of its usage may have helped me in writing this. Grab me in IRC if you want to change it! :D
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #24 on: 16 June 2011, 12:54:36 »

Drasil, you need to add or at least plan to add, Kalina's new suggestion.
For the most part, these are too long. For example.

Quote

Allia Berry – This plant bares a dark purple berry cluster that, though poisonous, can be used for dying clothes and for cosmetics. The vibrant dye produced by the juice of the Allia berries is predominantly used by the Caltharian tribe. In autumn, Caltharian women and children may be seen colleting these berries in baskets and aprons just for this purpose.  Due to the dangerous nature of the allia berry, the antidote for its poison procured from the Brisulivan bush is kept close at hand during gathering season to revive the curious rascal who attempts to pop one of the juicy fruits his mouth.

Location - The Allia can be found growing throughout central Southern Sarvonia in heaths, meadows, and near forests.  They can be commonly found in the Heath of Jernaís, the Aurora Fields, the Heath at Salazar, around the city of Voldar, the Thaelon forest, Vontron, the Shivering Woods, the Quallian Forest, the Istarin, Paelelon and the Almatrar. The Allia does not fair well in exceptionally warm climates so cannot be found anywhere below the Tolonian Heath.  For some unknown reason, the plant refuses to take to garden soil and will produce few, if any, berries when grown in this environment

Originally, my plan was simply to mark this up to show you where you could cut unneeded words. However, upon closer examination Drasil, while you've paraphrased, this is essentially the territory section of the Allia Berry.

Quote
The Allia is found in a wide range across the middle of the Santharian Kingdom, commonly growing in heaths and meadows as well as near forests. Allia are found as far north as Voldar, growing around all but the northernmost border of the Thaelon Forest. They are also commonly found in the Heath of Jernaís, the Aurora Fields, and the Heath at Salazar, but as well around Vontron, the Shivering Woods and the Quallian, save the forest's western border, as well as around the Istarin, Paelelon and the Almatrar. Finally Allia also grow on the northern border of the Zeiphyrian Forest and around all the borders of the Auturian Woods except the western. However, Allia grows no farther south than the Tolonian Heath.
The original territory section clocks in at 123 words, yours is 97, which mainly is owed to the fact that much of the more complex language has been stripped out.

It is the role of an overview, to condense the information found in an entry so that a reader can quickly find what they're looking for. They can then click on the entry and read it if they need to. The whole idea of an overview is so that someone doesn't need to read the whole entry.

Now, perhaps this wasn't intended to be an overview, but that's certainly how it's presented at the moment, and that would be the best organized.

But back to the Alia

The Allia can be found growinggrows- one word instead of four. throughout central Southern Sarvonia in heaths, meadows, and near forests.  They can be commonly found in the Heath of Jernaís, the Aurora Fields, the Heath at Salazar, around the city of Voldar, the Thaelon forest, Vontron, the Shivering Woods, the Quallian Forest, the Istarin, Paelelon and the Almatrar. This list? Not needed. You've already established that it grows in central Southern Sarvonia in the first sentenceThe Allia does not fairfare well in exceptionally warm climates so cannot be found anywheredoes not grow below the Tolonian Heath.  For some unknown reason,If you're going to strip out the more complex language, do it everywhere the plant refuses to take to garden soil and will produce few, if any, berries when grown in this environment.

So, I've found that much in one territory section. I'll admit, they're not all like that, but let's move on to the overview for Allia Purple!

This plant bares bears a dark purple berry cluster that, though poisonous, can be used for dying clothes and for cosmetics. The vibrant dye produced by the juice of the Allia berries is predominantly used by the Caltharian tribe. In autumn, Caltharian women and children may be seen colleting these berries in baskets and aprons just for this purpose.Remember what I said on page one about copy-pasta? It's stuff like this that makes it look like you're doing that. Extraneous information. We're looking for dyes.  Due to the dangerous nature of the allia berry, the antidote for its poison procured from the Brisulivan bush is kept close at hand during gathering season to revive the curious rascal who attempts to pop one of the juicy fruits his mouth. I've struck out this section for the sake of pointing out which bits are relevant. Knowing that the thing that provides the dye is poisonous is already done. The antidote however, is mildly relevant to the rest of the entry since not dying for the sake of dyeing would be nice.

A few other choice sections from this entry then.

Alth'tiert Plant – The Alth’tiert plant is one of the major imports of the Helvet’ine who use the leaves of this plant to make a golden dye for their clothing and rugs as well as by the Lyr’Teimor Kulgim men as an ink to color their ritual scars that mark the completion of one of the tribe’s right of passages.  After that year’s hunting party returns after having successfully killed a Cartashian, each participant uses the beast’s claw to gouge three deep cuts into their right shoulders.  Along with several other products used to ensure the formation of a dark scar, Alth’tiert is also rubbed into the wound to ink a golden hue into the mark.
If someone is interested in the tatooing practices of the Kuglimz tribes, they could view the entry. Half of this is fairly extraneous

Teki Tree Seeds – The Teki Tree has only one use that we know of other than consumption, which is for dying cloth the color red. When the pits are removed from the seeds, they can be crushed to produce a smeary paste that, when mixed with boiling water, transforms into a deep blood red dye.  Teki Tree dye is not widely used because it is well known to have a scent that is quite offensive to the nose. Given the wide variety of other readily available sources of red dye, most dyers instead choose to work with a substance that does not assault their senses.  

The Teki Tree’s berry also is used by the Ghereghut trolls of the Tandala Highlands as a hair dye.  Though they are quite famous for their blood red hair, it is a little known fact that the Cave trolls make use of cosmetic products to achieve this effect. When young trolls come of age, their naturally dark hair is dyed using a paste made by crushing the Teki berry.  This form of dye is far from permanent, however, and thus must be reapplied quite regularly.

Aside from a few extra spaces in a few places, far from the first batch, the first sentence also needs rewording as the "only has one use other than consumption" is extraneous here.

Larkentir Sap – The viscous sap of the Larkentir tree is known to color garments blood-red.  While there are a number of other sources of red dye available for use by weavers, Larkentir sap is unique in that it requires no preparation to be extracted.  Simply breaking a branch of this tree and rubbing the liquid that oozes out of it on a garment will permanently stain the cloth crimson.  It should be noted that the sap is quite acidic so clothes produced using Larkentir sap should be treated with an alkaline substance or put aside to settle before being sold to prevent burning and irritation of the skin.

Since this is a Santharian entry that should be aceedic and alchaline.

Though its primary use is as a medicinal herb, the root of the Alrik’ran plant has been found to produce a beautiful pale blue dye when its sap is extracted.  This particular property of the bush was discovered completely by accident when blue-stained teeth were discovered as a side effect to its use by Shendar women as a chewing product to aid their menstrual cramps.  The tribe, which already had a well established dying industry for cloth, hair and temporary body ornamentation, quickly adopted the root for their own use and added the soothing color to the others they produced.

This bit is rather unneeded.

That should give you a good guide. I managed to find several cases where you used homophones as well, be sure to read carefully to find those.

« Last Edit: 16 June 2011, 13:00:06 by Valan Nonesuch » Logged

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Pikel
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« Reply #25 on: 16 June 2011, 13:03:49 »

Looking through this, I wonder if it can be organized in a more fitting fashion. The role-players and developers would probably be looking for 2 things when it comes to dyes and inks: Hue, and location. Yes, the "animals, plants, and mineral/other" sources are valid, but i wonder if it's the best way to organize an overview like this.

Putting thought into it, I thought perhaps something more akin to:

HUE (Example: red)

Southern Sarvonia
 - Example ink
 - Example Ink
 - Example Dye
 - example dye
 - Example ink etc etc

Northern sarvonia
- Example
- Example etc etc

Nybelmar
- example etc etc

HUE (Example: Yellow)
Southern Sarvonia
etc etc etc

I think you get the idea at this point. I think it would help all developers, and other users of the compendium, if it were organized in a way more akin to their likely needs.

Just my two sans :D
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #26 on: 16 June 2011, 13:29:28 »

@Pikel: I agree.  That would be a much better way to format it.

Valan and I are clearly not going to agree on the length of each of these sections so I'm just going to abandon this project.  I'm not comfortable creating the bland and bare bones entry he want and he is not willing to accept anything that is not identical to his poisons overview.  In addition, this has been a rather unpleasant use of my time, as I have no particular interest in dyes and have had to wait a ridiculous amount of time to receive any sort of comment besides "make it an overview not an industry."

If anyone wants to hack away at this or use it as a foundation for a dye overview of their own, be my guest.
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #27 on: 16 June 2011, 14:21:15 »

Well, if you don't want it... I can always try and hack away at it in my spare time. I won't be fast, at least for a few weeks with my nieces here, but I can whittle away at it here and there. Reorganize and stuffs.
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #28 on: 16 June 2011, 19:31:27 »

Kalina, you're welcome to it.
If you desire to make it an industry, rather than an overview, be sure to make use of the for such things, if at all possible.
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« Reply #29 on: 16 June 2011, 19:51:46 »

I'm a little disappointed that somewone who put this much effort into a project feels his efforts were in vain and must drop the entry.  Then with little regard for that (or so it seems) it is picked up and approved for someone else to take it over.

Would it not be more prudent to see if there is a way to see if Drasil can finish this?  Just seems a bit callous in my opinion.
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