The Ice Sea Silvertail

Always make sure to check your post first before you let others check it, Elron, because otherwise this leads to a ping-pong game of checks and rechecks, which can take quite a while - and the entry won't be approved very soon. That can easily be avoided if you check your entry very carefully first yourself.

Take for instance the first paragraph:

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The Ice Sea Silvertail is an aquatic animal, that lives in the waters off of the Icelands and Cyhalloi. They are caught by the Himiko (a ice tribe that live on the icelands) who eat the fish although the are rather tasteless, and for their scales wich they use on jewellery. [/color] The Silvertail prefers the colder waters of the Ice sea but can be found in other seas like Cyhalloi. The Silvertail is an air breathing fish that lives entirely off of gnackers and other shellfish (see Diet).

And a version how I would correct it and/or make it better:

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The Ice Sea Silvertail is an aquatic animal, that lives in the waters off of the Icelands Coast in Northern Sarvonia and near the continent of Cyhalloi. Primarily caught by the Himiko (an ice tribe that lives on the Icelands Coast), they are a welcome dish up North, although they are seem rather tasteless to the southern palate. Otherwise these remarkably long fish with a size of 2-3 peds are sought for their scales which are used on jewellery. Preferring the colder waters of the Ice Sea the Silvertail can also be found in other seas like the ones even further north around Cyhalloi. The Silvertail is an air breathing fish that lives entirely off of gnackers and other shellfish (see Diet).

And some notes to give you an idea what makes the difference between the two paragraphs:

- Make sure to provide enough information, so that the reader really knows where you are and what you are talking about (e.g. Northern Sarvonia, continent of Cyhalloi etc.)
- Icelands should be "Icelands Coast" and is actually a proper name, thus it's written with a capital letter.
- Note the proper spelling: Thgey, which - and there's a color tag that shouldn't be in there. All easily to spot if you give it a quick glance!
- Ice Sea: proper name as well.
- "Seas like Cyhalloi" - Cyhalloi is not a sea, but a continent.
- Then another suggestion: If you look at your first paragraph you always start your sentences with the subject. "The Ice Sea Silvertail... They... The Silvertail... The Silvertail..." Now look at my changes, where I mix things up a bit by starting with something else: "Primarily... Preferring the colder waters..." - See the difference? Looks much more elaborate, doesn't it? And all that is required is to be a bit inventive.
- Feel free to embellish things here and there with little details (like the "to the southern palate" reference). Also more information, especially in the overview part, where I now mention their length as well. Helps to give a good first impression of what we're dealing with.

Look at the two paragraphs and read my suggestions, and that should help to get you on the correct path

Take the time to read and reread your posts and you'll get better at this the more you work on it!