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Author Topic: Child of Spring: Chapter 9  (Read 3649 times)
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« on: 08 August 2012, 05:21:03 »

EDIT: Done!

More to come in the chapter after the scene break.



CHILD OF SPRING

This is the story of Winter and the Way of Wind and Water. He is one of the Gifted, those rare individuals born with natural magical ability. He has lived the life of a Krean monk since he entered the monastery at age six, but his heart is in Nybelmarasa, the last place in the world where the magic of the Ancient Krean still lives. In a year he will leave White Mountain, a place which has been home for seventeen years, and make the long journey to the Academy. Here he will learn the ways of magic from the mages of Nybelmarasa as they have been passed from the legendary emperor Dearan Asaen himself. Or so he hopes. It is said that our gifts define us, make us who we are. What would you do if you lost yours and how far would you go to get it back?



CHAPTER SUMMARIES

Chapter 1: The Songs of Wind
In which we meet Winter. Into the peace of the mountain, a new song has come on the Wind.

Chapter 2: Meditating on the Breath
On his way to the monastery, Winter runs into a friend. Why is Orange out of breath and what is he searching for?

Chapter 3: Song of the Family
In which Winter remembers. The two monks discuss the change that looms over White Mountain.

Chapter 4: War and Peace
Winter and Orange disagree about the coming war. Winter is troubled by the change that has come over his friend.

Chapter 5: Botanical Garden
War is coming to the Port of Nor, and on the Mountain, Winter is locked in a battle of his own, trying to get twelve novice monks ranging from six to ten years of age through the morning practice. But first he must reason with Ker, who has a penchant for (mis)-quoting Master Kao and is very fond of daisies, as a source of nourishment.

Chapter 6: Swimming Dragon
In which we discover the connection between Swimming Dragon and Stormblade complexion. Swimming Dragon, Sinking in Prayer Position, Stand Like a Tree: Three more exercises and Winter can hand the novice monks over to Master Coldstream - and Winter has a secret weapon in a curious looking clay jar to make sure the children pay attention...

Chapter 7: Tamarind
In which we meet Pebble, novice monk and potential high priest, from whom we learn that Tamarind will regrettably not be joining Swimming Dragon practice, on account of his back.

Chapter 8: Practice is its own reward
In which Winter and the boys practice Swimming Dragon, finally. An hour later disaster strikes.

Chapter 9: Ebb and Flow
In which Winter deals with the brownie poo induced consequences of a loss of mindfulness.


« Last Edit: 20 January 2013, 22:50:43 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #1 on: 08 August 2012, 05:24:13 »

CHAPTER 9
Ebb and Flow

BROWNIE POO STRIKES BACK. REVENGE OF THE SWIMMING DRAGON.

In his excitement Wild Apple's wrist had tilted a little too much to one side and the cup balanced on his right palm slid. Naturally, between jumping away from the splash and trying to catch the cup before it fell to the ground, he had completely forgotten about the other cup and casually planted it straight into Grass's face, who, in turn, lost his balance and stumbled backwards, both cups flying from his hands, and knocked into another boy, whose neighbour successfully side-stepped the combined weight of the two, by shouldering into Pebble from behind.

There was chaos on the stone dais. Twelve children screaming their lungs out, cups of brownie poo flying left, right and centre, some of the boys losing control of their own cups while attempting to dodge someone else's.

But, almost an hour ago, somewhere I think between the sixth and seventh rounds, I had entered Flow. Even before Grass fell, I felt my waist turn to the right, whipping the elbow across so that I caught the cup flying from his left hand on top of the cup in my right palm, nailsbreadth above Seed's ear. Instinctively, the weight of my body shifted to my left foot to free the right leg so that the momentum from my waist could carry it to the right and then behind. Heel touches the ground first, rolling the rest of the foot down; as the weight shifts again, the left leg turns to follow the motion. My left palm comes down in an arc and extends to catch Grass's other cup before it can strike Cloud's face, again cup on cup. The feet rotate, turning the waist and the motion flows through my body. Weaving between Ker and Pebble, then twisting the other side, stepping around Cloud, and surging through the gap between three boys, I appear to have caught five more cups: two on my right, along the forearm; one on the left, pressed into the crook of the elbow; and one on each shoulder.

Olfactory disaster averted, I stood with nine cups balanced precariously on and around my own two cups. Of the nine cups that went flying, I had caught seven, and the other two, the first casualties of the day, courtesy of Wild Apple's lapse in mindfulness, now hung suspended in the air.

I sensed the Flow begin to ebb. I did not have long now.

"Seed, if you would. The jug." I sounded calmer then I felt. Visions of the near future dangled over me like a death sentence. I don't think there would be enough soap in the world.

Seed was having some trouble with the lid. "Winter, it's stuck!" A single bead of sweat rolled down the underside of my left arm, pooled in a tiny alcove between cup and elbow, and glistened playfully along its edge. One White Mountain, Two White Mountain, Three White Mou - Finally, the lid came off with a damp pop. I guided the Flow and nine streams of brownish liquid swirled into the clay jug with a sloshing finality.

"A little help please. The cups," I said. Children can be awfully forgetful sometimes. "Thank you."

A hundred and twenty grubby little fingers scrambled towards me all at once. "Oh no no no no no, only those among you who are still clean..." This thinned the number of a volunteers a bit. Three boys cautiously removed the empty cups from my body. The two cups that were previously in the air fell on Wild Apple's head. Unintentionally, I think. (The Flow is a wild thing and can be difficult to control.)

***

I would like to take a moment to describe how impossible it is to talk to Grass sometimes. I think the root of the problem lies in the fact that Grass is more interested in the precise meaning of the words, whereas I, on the whole, am more interested in getting him washed up. After our adventure with brownie poo, I took the children to the nearest river and told them to undress, throw everything in, and not emerge until the stench became bearable and there remained no danger of accidentally killing those denizens of the forest with the more sensitive noses should they happen to cross our path. One of the great things about meditating on the breath is that after years of practice it eventually lengthens, so that you can say an awful lot of things in one breath.

"All of my clothes?" Grass asked.

"Yes."

"My shoes, too?"

"Well, no, not your shoes."

"All right, but I'll put in the belt."

"If you must," I said. Sometimes it is best to just let it go.

The diligent scrubbing had soon degenerated into a game. The children were now running around in the water and trying to whack one another on the head with wet cloth. And screaming. How can so much noise come from such small bodies? This is one of the great mysteries of life.

I closed my eyes, went to a happy (and above all, quiet) place and took refuge in the silence. Only two more exercises to go: Sinking in Prayer Position and Stand Like a Tree.

I hoped the healers were faring better than I was.
« Last Edit: 20 August 2012, 16:31:22 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #2 on: 14 August 2012, 04:39:19 »

Ok, made it to Chapter 9 now :) The quality is consistent, with lots of funny dialogue and slapstick moments  rolleyes, so that's good to read and quite surprising to see you write a tale like this, Coren - the everyday life of these characters with everything this entail is well portrayed, easy to follow and entertaining, all in one!

Only thing I'm wondering is how these first pages will connect with the larger story mentioned in the teaser, because we didn't quite get there yet methinks - aside from a few hints maybe at the beginning. So yeah, that's the thing I cannot see yet from here, but I'm confident there's an underlying idea...  cool
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #3 on: 14 August 2012, 04:59:13 »

My mouth is sealed. You'll just have to read on until the end of Act 1 to find out! ;)

Quote
so that's good to read and quite surprising to see you write a tale like this, Coren

Hehe - what kind of tales would you have expected from me? *grabs a chair and a mug of kao kao*
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #4 on: 14 August 2012, 05:04:09 »

lol Well, like ones with chapter titles which I'd e.g. first have to look up in a dictionary. Now we deal with Brownie poo, so I smell something different here. Literally. ;)
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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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« Reply #5 on: 18 August 2012, 04:20:12 »

I've just read Chapters Seven through Nine. Very enjoyable indeed! It's imaginative, fluent, flawless writing, and a pleasant surprise is always just around the corner.

I have but one query:
Quote
A hundred and forty-four grubby little fingers scrambled towards me all at once.
Twelve children with ... twelve fingers each?


...


Right then. Where's Chapter the Tenth?  :)

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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #6 on: 20 August 2012, 05:08:34 »

Quote
Twelve children with ... twelve fingers each?

Err... I don't know how that happened. WHO TINKERED WITH MY ABACUS AGAIN?!

--------------------

Does anyone have a title to suggest for the chapter?

(And thanks again for the words of encouragement. :) )
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #7 on: 20 August 2012, 05:10:33 »

 rolling

I say just one thing: Nybelmar....   grin
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« Reply #8 on: 20 August 2012, 07:41:53 »

First comment, but I have been reading with joy this story you are putting together.  I enjoy it immensely. :D

Chapter Title suggestion:  Ebb and Flow

Travis Name suggestion: Serenity; because I like the juxtaposition between the meaning of the name and his personality.

These are just tossed out there to trigger your own imaginings, and will not be insulted if they are not what you are looking for. :D  Keep writing.
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« Reply #9 on: 20 August 2012, 16:31:08 »

'Ebb & Flow' is the PERFECT title! Thank you!

I'll think about 'Serenity'. I like the irony there. But for some reason, I get this sense that his name should start with 'T'.

Thank you for reading. Glad to hear you like it. :)
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #10 on: 20 August 2012, 20:35:24 »

 :D  Glad you liked the Title.


Tranquil (ity) ?
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« Reply #11 on: 21 August 2012, 17:08:00 »

Torrent?  (this is my favorite!)

Tumble?  Turmoil?  Thunder? 

Typhul? (since Typhoon might be a bit too Oriental)
Tornadai? (since Tornado is also culturally-bound)

Oh, look, here's a list of emotions starting with T:

acky
tactful
tainted
taken aback
taken advantage of
talented
talkative
talky
tame
tantalizing
tantrumy
tarnished
tasteful
tasty
taut
tearful
teased
tedious
teetering
temperamental
temperate
tempted
tenacious
tender
tenderness
tense
tenuous
tepid
terrible
terrific
terrified
terrorized
tested
testy
thankful
the blues
thick skinned
thin skinned
thinly veiled
thirsty
thoughtful
threatened
thrifty
thrilled
thrilled to bits
thrown away
thrown down
thrown out
thwarted
ticked off
tickled
tight
tight lipped
timid
tingly
tired
togetherness
tolerant
tongue-tied
tormented
torn
tortured
touched
tough
tragic
tranquil
transformed
transported
trapped
trashed
treacherous
treasured
trembly
tremendous
trepidation
tricked
triumph
triumphant
troubled
true
trust
trusted
trusting
trustworthy
truthful
turmoil
turned on
twitchy
two faced


I didn't bother selecting, although words like 'twitchy' and 'treacherous' are clearly out as names, I thought reading the whole list might inspire you anyhow.   Hope that helps!
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