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Author Topic: Child of Spring: Chapters 1-11 revised  (Read 1147 times)
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« on: 14 October 2012, 21:25:14 »

I've revised Chapters 1 to 11 (attached as a Word file below). Mainly editorial tweaks, such as fixing typos, tenses, transitions and missing names. Where more than a word or two were changed, I marked these passages in blue.

As for restructuring: I thought of how best to achieve this. At first, I tried to merge the shorter chapters, but ultimately decided against it. I like the chapter summaries. And I think the chapter titles bring the story into focus and add a layer of meaning.

Instead, I propose to keep the individual chapters as-is, but to put them up in clusters so as to minimise the uploading work: Ch 1-4 as a group; Ch 5-7; Ch 8-10; Ch 11. That would result in 4 installments of roughly 6-8 Word pages each. Would that work for you, Arti?

Hope you like the story so far! :)



CHILD OF SPRING

This is the story of Winter and the Way of Wind and Water. He is one of the Gifted, those rare individuals born with natural magical ability. He has lived the life of a Krean monk since he entered the monastery at age six, but his heart is in Nybelmarasa, the last place in the world where the magic of the Ancient Krean still lives. In a year he will leave White Mountain, a place which has been home for seventeen years, and make the long journey to the Academy. Here he will learn the ways of magic from the mages of Nybelmarasa as they have been passed from the legendary emperor Dearan Asaen himself. Or so he hopes. It is said that our gifts define us, make us who we are. What would you do if you lost yours and how far would you go to get it back?



CHAPTER SUMMARIES

Chapter 1: The Songs of Wind
In which we meet Winter. Into the peace of the mountain, a new song has come on the Wind.

Chapter 2: Meditating on the Breath
On his way to the monastery, Winter runs into a friend. Why is Orange out of breath and what is he searching for?

Chapter 3: Song of the Family
In which Winter remembers. The two monks discuss the change that looms over White Mountain.

Chapter 4: War and Peace
Winter and Orange disagree about the coming war. Winter is troubled by the change that has come over his friend.

Chapter 5: The Virtues of a Balanced Diet
War is coming to the Port of Nor, and on the Mountain, Winter is locked in a battle of his own, trying to get twelve novice monks ranging from six to ten years of age through the morning practice. But first he must reason with Ker, who has a penchant for (mis)-quoting Master Kao and is very fond of daisies, as a source of nourishment.

Chapter 6: Swimming Dragon
In which we discover the connection between Swimming Dragon and Stormblade complexion. Swimming Dragon, Sinking in Prayer Position, Stand Like a Tree: Three more exercises and Winter can hand the novice monks over to Master Coldstream - and Winter has a secret weapon in a curious looking clay jar to make sure the children pay attention...

Chapter 7: Tamarind
In which we meet Pebble, novice monk and potential high priest, from whom we learn that Tamarind will regrettably not be joining Swimming Dragon practice, on account of his back.

Chapter 8: Practice is its own reward
In which Winter and the boys practice Swimming Dragon, finally. An hour later disaster strikes.

Chapter 9: Ebb and Flow
Winter deals with the brownie poo induced consequences of a loss of mindfulness.

Chapter 10: Stand Like a Tree
The last exercise of the morning practice and Master Coldstream can take over from Winter. But Ker seems to have misinterpreted the instructions.

Chapter 11: Nettle
Ker fell down the tree. Winter is summoned before the masters.
« Last Edit: 09 February 2013, 18:19:06 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #1 on: 18 October 2012, 03:53:04 »

Well, ok then, we'll try to put up chapters in clusters, even though it increases the workload. Better to have the chapters right now with nice titles and fitting summaries - even though some are a bit short, as the chapters are short. So it will take a while to get it all up, but that's ok.

Question, though: In the Word document some lines are in different colours. Any specific reason for that? I rarely find coloured passages in books ;)
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« Reply #2 on: 18 October 2012, 04:20:22 »

Quote
Where more than a word or two were changed, I marked these passages in blue.


 grin
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« Reply #3 on: 18 October 2012, 04:33:30 »

A-ha. It helps to read everything carefully every now and then methinks :)
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #4 on: 18 October 2012, 05:53:23 »

Thanks Arti! I just realised I forgot to use the site font and those fancy capital letters. Sorry about that - will do it next time, I promise.  pet
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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