Child of Spring: Chapter 12(B)

Coren FrozenZephyr

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Child of Spring: Chapter 12(B)

« on: 06 July 2013, 05:33:51 »

A very short chapter this time. I felt anything longer would tiptoe into the melodramatic.

EDIT: As per Shab's suggestion, I will be merging this into Ch 12 when I finish Act I and turn around to do a structural revision on all the chapters to date. For now, changing it from "Ch 13" to "Ch 12B" to help me remember.

CHILD OF SPRING

This is the story of Winter and the Way of Wind and Water. He is one of the Gifted, those rare individuals born with natural magical ability. He has lived the life of a Krean monk since he entered the monastery at age six, but his heart is in Nybelmarasa, the last place in the world where the magic of the Ancient Krean still lives. In a year he will leave White Mountain, a place which has been home for seventeen years, and make the long journey to the Academy. Here he will learn the ways of magic from the mages of Nybelmarasa as they have been passed from the legendary emperor Dearan Asaen himself. Or so he hopes. It is said that our gifts define us, make us who we are. What would you do if you lost yours and how far would you go to get it back?

CHAPTER SUMMARIES

Chapter 1: The Songs of Wind
In which we meet Winter. Into the peace of the mountain, a new song has come on the Wind.

Chapter 2: Meditating on the Breath
On his way to the monastery, Winter runs into a friend. Why is Orange out of breath and what is he searching for?

Chapter 3: Song of the Family
In which Winter remembers. The two monks discuss the change that looms over White Mountain.

Chapter 4: War and Peace
Winter and Orange disagree about the coming war. Winter is troubled by the change that has come over his friend.

Chapter 5: The Virtues of a Balanced Diet
War is coming to the Port of Nor, and on the Mountain, Winter is locked in a battle of his own, trying to get twelve novice monks ranging from six to ten years of age through the morning practice. But first he must reason with Ker, who has a penchant for (mis)-quoting Master Kao and is very fond of daisies, as a source of nourishment.

Chapter 6: Swimming Dragon
In which we discover the connection between Swimming Dragon and Stormblade complexion. Swimming Dragon, Sinking in Prayer Position, Stand Like a Tree: Three more exercises and Winter can hand the novice monks over to Master Coldstream - and Winter has a secret weapon in a curious looking clay jar to make sure the children pay attention...

Chapter 7: Tamarind
In which we meet Pebble, novice monk and potential high priest, from whom we learn that Tamarind will regrettably not be joining Swimming Dragon practice, on account of his back.

Chapter 8: Practice is its own reward
In which Winter and the boys practice Swimming Dragon, finally. An hour later disaster strikes.

Chapter 9: Ebb and Flow
Winter deals with the brownie poo induced consequences of a loss of mindfulness.

Chapter 10: Stand Like a Tree
The last exercise of the morning practice and Master Coldstream can take over from Winter. But Ker seems to have misinterpreted the instructions.

Chapter 11: Nettle
Nettle confronts Winter after Ker fell down a tree during the morning practice. Winter is summoned before the masters.

Chapter 12: Acorn and Riverstone
Nettle and Winter appear before the masters of the monastery.

Chapter 12(B): Lost at Sea
In which Nettle attains her heart's desire.


« Last Edit: 16 August 2013, 16:15:12 by Artimidor Federkiel »	Logged

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Coren FrozenZephyr

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Re: Child of Spring: Chapter 12(B)

« Reply #1 on: 06 July 2013, 05:34:30 »

CHAPTER 12(B)
Lost at Sea

"You are losing the Gift."

I found an accusatory forefinger lodged nailsbreath away from my brows. The one thing I do like about Nettle is that you always know where you stand with her. She has the directness of a heart-attack.

"Do not be ridiculous," I said. "It's something you are born with. You can't lose it any more than you can lose your self."

"Odd you should say that." A feral smile prowled on Nettle's face, ready to pounce.

I think I was trying to persuade myself by repetition, for I ignored Nettle and talked over her, "It's part of you. It's who you are, Nettle. That can't be taken from you."

From the terrace I could see the monastery below, rippling down the mountain in terraces and orchards and training grounds and herb gardens. Half a world away Grass wandered about, looking in unlikely places for his shoes, and at last found them where he had left them under the bed. I smelled the afternoon wind rattling our prayer beads, bringing in the soul of grass and roots and damp earth.

"That can't be taken from you," I whispered, staring at the horizon. The raging sea looked strangely calm from this height, undulating creases on a bed of silver. Perspective brings order.

"Because I always wondered who Winter would be without the Gift."

It seemed to me then that a silence lay on the hills. No animal moved about, neither grass-eater nor predator, and the air was so still that I could hear the breath pulsing against my throat as lips parted and muscled moved and words were formed:

"Our gifts define us, make us who we are," I said.

"Indeed, would there even be a Winter?" Her voice came swollen, as if from a great distance away, carried underwater by the vibrations of water on water, on the backs of fish and seaweed, from the other side of the water, beyond the barrier, another world.

"You must let me go," I said to no one in particular. "There is no place for me here."

I felt trapped. On one side was the truth of Nettle's words, the loss of my world, a truth I was loathe to admit, but could not deny, for I could read it in the compassion in Master Kao's eyes the way you can see a man standing behind you, reflected in someone else's irises. On the other lay the weight of my choices. Last year, I had decided: I would leave the monastery after taking the Vows. I would head to Nybelmarasa, the last place on the Disk where the magic of the Ancient Krean still lives. And there I would learn the ways of magic as they have been passed down from the legendary emperor Dearan Asaen himself.

Now all who chose to stay were already Attuned, three to a teacher. None of the masters could take on another. I was a sailor lost at sea. Stranded by my own choice. Not waving but drowning.

In Nybelmarasa was life, a vitality, a life force, a quickening - a purpose of being. Only death awaited me on the Mountain. I knew then with the certainty of migrating storks that if I stayed I would die the slow death of resentment, a fading away, the fading of dreams to disappointment.

I heard the clatter of prayer beads changing hands, from right to left, and beginning their revolution anew. Nettle turned her face from Master Kao to me and her feral smile broke through again. Finally she had gotten what she wanted. After seventeen years, Winter was leaving White Mountain.


« Last Edit: 06 August 2013, 17:22:58 by Coren FrozenZephyr »	Logged

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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang

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Re: Child of Spring: Chapter 13

« Reply #2 on: 14 July 2013, 21:16:23 »

Hi Coren,

Deftly done as always. Just two considerations:

Since Ch. 13 seamlessly continues the conversation of Ch. 12, should they be two separate chapters? While reading the first few paragraphs, I found myself wondering whether I was still witnessing the assembly of the masters, or whether the start of a new chapter meant that I was now to imagine a new scene.

Quote

"You must let me go," I said. "There is no place for me here."

Does Winter say this to Nettle, or to the assembly? The flow of text seems to suggest to me that he says it to Nettle, and basically means to say "leave me alone, I want to end this conversation", whereas what comes later suggests to me that he says it to everyone and is asking to be granted his desire to leave the monastery. Maybe this could be made clearer?


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Coren FrozenZephyr

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Re: Child of Spring: Chapter 13

« Reply #3 on: 06 August 2013, 14:23:41 »

Thanks Shab! You're right on both accounts. I will merge this into Ch 12. I shall also make it clear that that line is addressed to the assembly and not just to Nettle.


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Artimidor Federkiel

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Re: Child of Spring: Chapter 12(B)

« Reply #4 on: 16 August 2013, 03:11:06 »

Is there any final version of Chapter 12 available? I'd like to include another chapter in the next update, but not sure where we're standing here.


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Coren FrozenZephyr

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Re: Child of Spring: Chapter 12(B)

« Reply #5 on: 16 August 2013, 03:15:59 »

I can whip one up for you tonight, art. It's just taking forever to get winter out of white mountain and into act 2. Poff. I want to get tothe windsinger chapter already! (Sorry ipad)

Edit: almost done with ch 13 too