* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Notifications & Notes
Masterplans/Projects
Dev Maps
Entry Templates
Picture Resources
Language Additions
Pages: [1]
Print
Author Topic: And my Muse has snuck up on me again. Urtengor?  (Read 2473 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Xarl
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 1.335



View Profile
« on: 24 January 2002, 22:02:00 »
Mastersmith

Smash and clang,
smash and clang
Hiss and steam and smash and clang.

Blessed metal,
Sacred heat
Pounding out a firey beat.

Tap and blow
Tap and blow
Smash and clang and tap and blow.

Holy hammer
deadly strike
Thunder crashes through the night.

Crush and heat
Crush and heat
Tap and blow and crush and heat.

Massive world
Rock and soil
Glowing red from Forge-god's toil.

Hiss and steam
Hiss and steam
Smash and clang and hiss and steam.

As Sorren cools
The new seas gleam
All to honor Ava's dream

Smash and clang,
smash and clang
Hiss and steam and smash and clang.

   So it was in the begining, and so it shall be in the end.

*The inspiration for this tune was a dwarven working song; it has been mercifully truncated by the author and given a more cosmological tone.*

Xarl Bluestride, Archmage of the White Arcana, Master of the Magic Forum, and generally cool guy. All requests are to be written on the back of a ten-dollar bill (or equivelant thereof) placed on a dead ferret, and tossed in the sewer system.
Xarl Bluestride
Owner of the longest sig in Santharia

Edited by: Xarl at: 1/25/02 1:03:59 am
Logged
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 365
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.650


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #1 on: 25 January 2002, 03:07:00 »
(glances at the title)
(shudders)  Oh no!  I was hoping to beat him to it!
(glances again and clicks on the entry, with averted eyes)
(can't bear the suspense and peeks at the poem)
Hmmmm......
(Looks again more carefully)
(in a surprised tone)
Um....well...hmm...
(resentfully admitting that it's got a very authentic ring)
(but still wishing she'd written it first)
It looks good, Xarl.  Good thing you truncated it, as Dwarves are not known for their brevity when it comes to work songs....

Only one nitpick.  The second verse neither rhymes nor scans, while the rest are solid.
'
Sacred metal,
Blessed forge
His work mirrors Foiros' torch.

How about

Blessed metal
Sacred heat
Pounding out a fiery beat

or something similar?

Regards from the Bard (who will translate it into Thergerim Taal once she's home at her own computer, if you like)
Logged
"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Xarl
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 1.335



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: 25 January 2002, 19:02:00 »
Works, I tinkered with that line for a while. Allow me to make the nessecary corrections.

Xarl Bluestride, Archmage of the White Arcana, Master of the Magic Forum, and generally cool guy. All requests are to be written on the back of a ten-dollar bill (or equivelant thereof) placed on a dead ferret, and tossed in the sewer system.
Xarl Bluestride
Owner of the longest sig in Santharia

Logged
Tarquet Galbar
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: leet



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: 25 January 2002, 19:59:00 »
It's CRAP! Utterly AWEFUL! YOU SHOULD DIE FOR THIS!!!!!!!! But, then again, I haven't read it, just wanted to be the first person to outright dislike one of your poems.

Tarquet Galbar,
BeastMaster Of Santharia
Creator of Weavers
Chronicler of the Rahaz-Dath Mercenaries
Logged
Xarl
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 1.335



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 25 January 2002, 22:26:00 »
Just the principle of the thing, isn't it. (runs off imagining Dwarves working to the tune...)

Xarl Bluestride, Archmage of the White Arcana, Master of the Magic Forum, and generally cool guy. All requests are to be written on the back of a ten-dollar bill (or equivelant thereof) placed on a dead ferret, and tossed in the sewer system.
Xarl Bluestride
Owner of the longest sig in Santharia

Logged
Greybark
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 1.736


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: 25 January 2002, 22:44:00 »
Reminds me a bit of the song the goblins sang as they dragged Bilbo and Co. deep into the mountain.....

But I like it a lot.......you can almost feel the vibration of metalworking in enclosed spaces......


Brownie Expert
Logged
Dala Valannia
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 3
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2.515



View Profile
« Reply #6 on: 26 January 2002, 04:35:00 »
Hi ho, Hi Ho, it's home from work we go!

That's the most famous Dwarven song I know, hehe :b

*dala having a headache with blurry vision and its making her giddy and saying stupid things*

I think we should nominate Xarl as our official Poet Laureate or something. Oh wait, what about Bard Judith? Can she be our Poetess Laureate then??

Logged
Tarquet Galbar
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: leet



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: 26 January 2002, 22:42:00 »
She's the Head Bard, meaning she can smack Xarl upside the head with an instrument of some sort if she feels he deserves it.

Tarquet Galbar,
BeastMaster Of Santharia
Creator of Weavers
Chronicler of the Rahaz-Dath Mercenaries
Logged
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 365
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.650


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #8 on: 27 January 2002, 05:39:00 »
'Masterbard', please, if you must, but it makes me feel ancient when you use my full title.....

Then again, it might be a real privilege of the order to be able to smack people upside the head.... (thinks for a minute and then glances at her lute)

On third thought, my lute already has a dent from when I had to threaten Koldar severely....mind you, the tone is still quite sweet, but it's got a bit of an edge...

(blinks sweetly at her listeners, then flashes a green-edged glance at them, just to make sure they get the point)




masterbard@poetic.com
Logged
"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Capher
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 5
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.177



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: 27 January 2002, 11:06:00 »
:::lol  ::lol  

Capher, Tribes and Races Supervisor Moderator.Wisdom is given to those whom it knows.
Logged
I live to but to serve my Goddess Seyella and Talon Hawke; son, heir and Wizard of the White Tower-defender of the lands and peoples of Caelereth!
Xarl
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 1.335



View Profile
« Reply #10 on: 28 January 2002, 16:49:00 »
Getcher new steel-edged lutes, steel lutes! All the beauty of sunlight shimmering on a sword and just as dangerous!
Musical Melee Inc.

Xarl Bluestride, Archmage of the White Arcana, Master of the Magic Forum, and generally cool guy. All requests are to be written on the back of a ten-dollar bill (or equivelant thereof) placed on a dead ferret, and tossed in the sewer system.
Xarl Bluestride
Owner of the longest sig in Santharia

Logged
Pages: [1]
Print
+Santharian Development   +Forum   +Santharian World Development   +The Santharian Library   +And my Muse has snuck up on me again. Urtengor?
Jump to:  

Help, I'm a Newbie!
Search
Recent
Winter's Flame candle
by lolanixon
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]
WANTED: Beta readers / comic fantasy
by Artimidor Federkiel
[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]
Gollum Pic
by Erutan Argon
[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]
Islands of Doranthakar, Southern Sarvonia
by Felsid Greytunnel
[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]
Am I too late?
by Felsid Greytunnel
[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]
Centaur Picture
by Noksz
[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]
The Guilds & Orders of New-Santhala
by Felsid Greytunnel
[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]
The History of New-Santhala
by Felsid Greytunnel
[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]
The Districts of New-Santhala
by Felsid Greytunnel
[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]
New-Santhala, Sangui Province, Southern Sarvonia
by Felsid Greytunnel
[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]
The High Fores picture
by Felsid Greytunnel
[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]
The High Fores, Vardynn Province, Southern Santharia
by Seeker
[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]
The Black Flame
by landon
[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]
Tales of Monsonius: That Fiend of Mine
by Felsid Greytunnel
[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]
Site Update 10-10-2016
by Felsid Greytunnel
[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]
The Santhran Lysmarin Hammerfeld
by Artimidor Federkiel
[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]
Armelite
by Artimidor Federkiel
[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]
Blazebushel Moss
by Artimidor Federkiel
[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]
Lightmoss
by Artimidor Federkiel
[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]
Search feature troubles
by Artimidor Federkiel
[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Stats
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 61
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 45
Total: 45
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc 		Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx